Steven Bryant Of Synergy Divorce Solutions On 5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce
An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis
BE SELFISH/TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF — I always tell my clients after a divorce, the most important thing is to put your mental and physical health first. After going through a stressful process like divorce, it is easy to stop taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally because the process drains you of self-motivation. It is so important that you continue to maintain good mental and physical health habits after divorce so that you can begin to feel happy again but more importantly, feel secure with where you are at that point in your life.
As part of our series about the “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce Or Breakup” I had the pleasure of interviewing Steven Bryant, founder of Synergy Divorce Solutions.
Steven is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and a Series 65-licensed investment advisor concentrating in divorce settlement analysis. An expert in analyzing spending habits, income levels and marital property division, he also is trained as a financial neutral in the collaborative law system.
After witnessing the devastating financial and emotional impact of his parents’ divorce, Steven recognized a need for a less stressful, more efficient path to divorce. Synergy Divorce Solutions is a boutique financial firm that concentrates in divorce planning, financial mediation and settlement analysis services.
Steven protects the financial security of divorcing spouses by equitably dividing their marital property OUTSIDE OF COURT, saving clients unnecessary time, money and emotional pain.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
While I was in college, my parents went through a divorce that took four years and $500,000 in legal fees to resolve WITHOUT CUSTODY INVOLVED. This took a huge toll on my family and I knew their had to be a better method for divorce.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
As it turns out, I have been working with the attorneys who handled my parents’ case so it’s come full circle!
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
The funniest mistake by far I made when starting my business was making my email long. My email is [email protected]. When giving that out in person it can be difficult and what I found out later, is some people do not want to email me because my email address has the word divorce in it.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
“Failing to prepare is preparing to Fail,” is my favorite quote to use with my clients. When gathering and analyzing their information, it can be a very tedious process with a lot of numbers, spreadsheets, etc. Some spouses can find that exhausting and not want to do the work. If they approach this process with that attitude and do not put the time necessary, it will negatively affect them in the long run.
My second favorite quote is, “Numbers don’t lie.” One of the favorite parts about my business is that I do not negotiate using assumptions or anything like that; rather, everything I use is backed up and supported by financial information and analysis. This is very helpful as it cannot be disputed, hence the numbers don’t lie.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I’m based in Annapolis, MD, and in the process of opening a second branch in Saint Petersburg, FL, with my brother who recently moved there. It’s exciting to expand our business model to reach more people.
Ok. Thank you for that. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Can you tell us a bit about your experience going through a divorce, or helping someone who was going through a divorce? What did you learn about yourself during and after the experience? Do you feel comfortable sharing a story?
As a child of divorce, I learned how stressful the process is on both parents, as well as the children. Being put in the position to “Pick Sides” when it comes to your parents can be very hard on children’s mental health. Going through divorce can cause depression, anxiety, insomnia and a handful of other mental disorders from just the stress of it. Most of the stress comes from the uncertainty of if you are going to be financially secure moving forward. That’s why I do what I do to show people they will be ok and give them peace of mind.
In your opinion, what are the most common mistakes people make after they go through a divorce? What can be done to avoid that?
I think the most common mistake people make after they go through a divorce is to think of their relationship as a “failure” or a “waste of time”. I tell my clients, nothing is ever a waste of time, everything is a LEARNING EXPERIENCE. The second biggest mistake is not seeing a financial advisor after the divorce to make sure they are financially planning for not only themselves, but the kids as well.
People generally label “divorce” as being “negative”. And yes, while there are downsides, there can also be a lot of positive that comes out of it as well. What would you say that they are? Can you share an example or share a story?
I think divorce can absolutely be a positive in some relationships that are very toxic with children involved. Children look up to their parents no matter what type of person they are when growing up, and if you grow up in a “toxic environment” with yelling and screaming going on all the time, children will think that is a “normal relationship,” which can do damage for them in the future.
Some people are scared to ‘get back out there’ and date again after being with their former spouse for many years and hearing dating horror stories. What would you say to motivate someone to get back out there and start a new beginning?
I tell my clients to think of the divorce as a “fresh start” or a “blank page” where they are the author. I also tell them not assume every relationship will end up like their last because of how much they have learned about themselves throughout the process.
What is the one thing people going through a divorce should be open to changing?
Bringing in financial professionals to help with the financial aspect and having both spouses WORKING TOGETHER. Although it is difficult, the more they work together, the more time, money and stress they will save.
Ok, here is the main question of our discussion. If you had a close friend come to you for advice after a divorce, what are 5 things you would advise in order to survive and thrive after the divorce? Can you please give a story or example for each?
- See a Financial Advisor — This should actually be done BEFORE settlement to make sure clients are getting enough money to survive but if it doesn’t, the first thing spouses should do is see a financial advisor and develop a financial plan for their future. I have heard of spouses seeing a financial advisor for a plan after their divorce, only to find out they are going to run out of money in eight years. THAT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM AND CAUSES MAJOR STRESS. At that point, the only option would be to re-hire attorneys to get more money from ex-spouse.
- Estate Plan — The second thing spouses need to do after a divorce is see an Estate attorney to re-do their estate and Will. I have heard so many bad stories about a spouse passing away very soon after their divorce, and all of their assets fought for during the divorce went right back to the spouse they were divorcing. This can have a serious impact on your children if there are any involved and can cause lawsuits.
- Life Insurance — When it comes to life insurance, the first thing you have to do is make sure you HAVE SOME. This is not for you, but is for your children and loved ones in the case of an unexpected death. You will also want to re-visit any policies you have and make sure the beneficiaries on them are your children and not your ex-spouse. Sadly, my own father passed away a few years after the divorce from a stressed induced heart attack and had no life insurance. It was super tough on all of us kids both emotionally and financially having to cover the funeral and everything out of pocket. Life insurance also can be used to secure alimony from another spouse in case of an unexpected death.
- Take a look at and establish your own credit — Right after divorce, make sure to cancel any joint checking, savings or credit card accounts and establish accounts only in your name. If you do not cancel joint credit cards and someone does not make a payment on that card, it will negatively affect the spouse’s credit. It is also important to establish your own credit for future purposes. I’ve seen the ramifications of not doing this first-hand. When my parents got divorced, my father had a credit card in my mother’s name (because she had better credit) that he forgot about and didn’t pay for months, which CRUSHED my mother’s credit score.
- BE SELFISH/TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF — I always tell my clients after a divorce, the most important thing is to put your mental and physical health first. After going through a stressful process like divorce, it is easy to stop taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally because the process drains you of self-motivation. It is so important that you continue to maintain good mental and physical health habits after divorce so that you can begin to feel happy again but more importantly, feel secure with where you are at that point in your life.
The stress of a divorce can take a toll on both one’s mental and emotional health. In your opinion or experience, what are a few things people going through a divorce can do to alleviate this pain and anguish?
Be physically active with working out, walking, etc. and try to stay in routine. This can help with any anxiety, depression or disorders developed throughout the divorce process.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
YES, it is called “Divorce in Maryland” by Dorothy Fait and Majorie DiLima. I love how the book is organized like a questionnaire for spouses. I always recommend my clients to buy this book.
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
MAKE DIVORCE LESS HOSTILE!!! I think divorce should be treated as more of a business agreement, rather than a “battle or fight” with your other spouse or their attorney. What people don’t realize is that the more you spend with professionals throughout this process, the less money you and your family get to walk away with. So, it is always most beneficial to spouses and their families to go about this process as amicably as possible. Not only will it save you money, but it will protect your family and anyone else involved from the stress divorce brings with it.
We are very blessed that very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, star of “Shark Tank” and very prominent business figure.
Thank you for these great insights and for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you only continued success!
Steven Bryant Of Synergy Divorce Solutions On 5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
