An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis
Highlight things they are doing great and give kudos. How is their overall job performance? What did the employee do that was impressive? In my experience, when I start out with great things, they are receptive to receiving. It also helps them realize the meeting isn’t about downing them overall. It’s meant to help them improve. Anything that is notable, give credit.
As a part of our series about “How To Give Honest Feedback without Being Hurtful”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kimberly Young.
Kimberly Young is the founder of Forever Young Management Services, LLC, which empowers career driven women to break free from an unfulfilled life and discover their purpose. Kimberly gained experience providing feedback from her leadership roles within Toastmasters International, an organization dedicated to improving public speaking and leadership skills, over the course of eight years. These same skills proved invaluable as she applied them to Corporate America and found that colleagues were appreciative of her direct yet sincere feedback. While many believe that feedback is typically negative, Kimberly sees this as an opportunity to gain insight into how to improve in any setting and believes this is a strong advantage to oneself. Kimberly has been featured in Be Your Own Magazine and Authority Magazine as well as guest on Entrepreneur Podcast Network, Creating a Brand and Ask D Pros, just to name a few, where she discussed her own personal and professional journey.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?
Thank you for having me. I am very excited to be here. For those who don’t know me, my name is Kimberly Young. I was born in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida but I grew up in St. Mary, Jamaica. My siblings and I lived between Florida and Jamaica on and off. We officially moved back to Florida when I was 14 years old where I finished high school and also attended college. I am a mom of three girls who are now 19, 14, and 11. Since I am a busy mom, any time I spend with them is very intentional. I love cooking and trying new recipes, although I recently transitioned to being vegan (occasionally toggling between vegan and raw vegan). Attending wine tastings, travelling, exploring new places and cultures are some of my favorite things to do. I am always open to trying new things and looking for an adventure.
Since I am the oldest child on my mother’s side, I was pretty much forced into the leadership spotlight at a young age. I was the leader whether I wanted to be or not. I understood the value of leadership skills, but I tried to avoid it at all costs. My leadership and feedback experience come from numerous roles with Toastmasters which trickled into leading teams in Corporate America. Although, as a business owner, I am a solopreneur, I know exactly how to manage a team from the years of experience gained.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I can answer that with one simple phrase: individualized attention with accountability. Each person I work with receives a personalized roadmap to achieve their dream as well as an accountability partner which is a large part of bringing their vision into fruition.
In a previous position, I encountered co-workers who were no longer dreaming about bringing their ideas to life. The typical story was that life (work, family priorities, school, health, etc.) was all consuming, in turn, pushing their vision further and further away. I could truly relate to their struggles. I was raising my daughters, working a 9–5, and taking classes full-time to complete my bachelor’s degree while trying to have a social life. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and would fall asleep before my head hit the pillow! I began to wonder; how could I tell someone to focus on chasing their dream when there are other pressing priorities in their life? Or how do I tell someone to go after their dream when I was in the same boat, not going after mine? On one of my 45-minutes commutes home, I put an individualized game plan together and recorded it on my phone. Immediately killing 2 birds with one stone, I decided to use my commute time (or some evenings) to create individualized guides. However, I quickly realized that roadmaps weren’t enough, what else did my co-workers need to get ahead? Accountability. Someone to ask them, “What have you accomplished this week?” and work with them as needed. When I presented my clients (aka my non-paying coworkers) their roadmap on my lunch break, most loved the idea of having a plan plus someone to hold them responsible leaving them with no excuses.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
This is actually an interesting story. My career launched at a boutique law firm where I started as a paralegal but eventually moved to the Compliance Department. Not only was I new to the department, which was made up of my manager and myself, but I had no clue what to expect since Compliance wasn’t, and still isn’t, an area that most people are familiar with. I should also mention that Compliance is not what my bachelor’s degree was in. There were many times I questioned why I was in this new role. “How did I get to be so lucky?”, I always wondered. I asked a million questions trying to get a grasp on the gist of what compliance was and to be honest, I probably drove my new boss (at the time) crazy. I pushed through, figuring that this would be a great skill to have under my belt and if anything, this might be a resume booster.
What I didn’t expect was that this department switch was the catalyst to my Compliance career and the birth of my business. Ironically when I switched departments, I started to converse with more coworkers who weren’t originally in my wheelhouse to chat. Our interactions started out very casually and turned into I can help them define their purpose or uncover their dreams. Unofficially, a few co-workers became “clients” (I was not getting paid by them). However, this is where my company was born, I learned to showcase my gift, and my speaking career began.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I have a story that was not funny when it happened but looking back, I appreciate the humor in it now. One of my first experiences hosting and speaking was at a church event for my friend’s mother. There was an opportunity to return for future events if they enjoyed my bit. I jumped at the prospect, figuring this was a great addition to what I was already doing. Not to mention, I was a Toastmaster (a phenomenal speaker), and my business could use the publicity. I started the event excited and by the end I was sorely disappointed. I completely bombed! I was a horrible comic, so no one laughed at my jokes. My speaking topic fit but didn’t resonate with everyone so people were bored. Of course, no one approached my goodies table at the end of the event. I left the event feeling crushed. Not surprisingly, I was not invited back to speak or host their events and I realized a few things. 1. As outgoing as I am, I am not a comedian. 2. Always do recon prior to the event. I didn’t gather enough details about the event because I made assumptions. 3. Read the audience’s body language/facial expressions. I didn’t read the room while hosting and presenting which, till this day, I am not sure why I didn’t do that considering that I wasn’t nervous. I believe excitement got the best of me. In that moment, it was a huge ordeal and I thought everything I worked for ended before it truly began.
What advice would you give to other CEOs and business leaders to help their employees to thrive and avoid burnout?
Create a company culture prioritizing your employee’s well-being, especially their mental health. We are currently living in a time where employees are working from their living room or bedroom — nonstop. It is easy to work without ceasing and now more than ever most employees are working longer hours. And this has become the “new norm” due to the pandemic. As a CEO, it is important to share mental health practices and help to create boundaries. Try offering once a week meditation, mental health days off, early departure days, among other practices. Experiencing burnout is real and surely no one wants their employees to feel exhaustion and fatigue.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
This is a great question because many people associate leadership with dictatorship. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Leaders share a vision and guide people toward a goal or outcome. They operate as “we” or within a “team mindset” because they know teams are stronger together than apart. Leaders bring out the best in others by harnessing their strengths (even when people can’t see it). They leave a lasting impact and are typically a model example of how a team interacts.
As a leader, share the problem, request input for a solution and watch the camaraderie and collaboration come to life. If the leader is confident in their team, allow autonomy to make decisions that are within the best interest of the company. Overall, it is a collaborative effort, and the results usually come out better than initially expected.
In my work, I often talk about how to release and relieve stress. As a busy leader, what do you do to prepare your mind and body before a stressful or high stakes meeting, talk, or decision? Can you share a story or some examples?
I love this question. I am a firm believer that the way you start your day is EVERYTHING. My morning routine consists of meditations, gratitude exercises and an hour workout which helps release stress and tensions for the coming day. I also spend a lot of time preparing (probably too much of my time) for the high stakes meeting — it gives me an extra boost of confidence. Same applies to big decisions; however, when it comes to talks, this is where it gets interesting. The real secret (which probably isn’t a secret after this) is that prior to any talk, I dance. That’s correct, I dance to my favorite songs to shake out any tension or anxiety.
A prime example of this was October this year, I did a press conference for a domestic violence organization. I was more than prepared and knew that I would do great. Although this press conference was virtual for the reporters and the audience, I still felt a little nervous energy considering I haven’t spoken outside of my home since the pandemic started. On my way to the speaker’s location, I put on my favorite songs, car-danced and sang with my microphone (that day it was my water bottle) all the way there. It’s literally like my own personal dance party. I am certain when other drivers saw me car-dancing and singing they probably wondered what I was doing. By the time I arrived, my nervousness dissipated, and I was ready to do what I love. This is a ritual that I used before any speech or contest in Toastmasters, and it still serves me well till this day.
Ok, let’s jump to the core of our interview. Can you briefly tell our readers about your experience with managing a team and giving feedback?
My experience derives from serving in various leadership capacities within Toastmasters International over the course of eight years. As a Toastmaster, one of the first things learned is the importance of feedback and making it valuable for the person receiving it. In other words, feedback shouldn’t be filled with fluff but straightforward and beneficial. When I moved into leadership roles, managing various teams, I found it easier to address and course correct situations since I was used to the same nature from Toastmasters. These skills I learned proved invaluable within many jobs as a team leader/ supervisor and trainer. My approach has always been direct yet considerate and with tact. On numerous occasions I have been praised for the tactics I use; however, I attribute it to harnessing the experiences learned from Toastmasters. As I mentioned earlier, I am a solopreneur; nonetheless, the skills I learned about leadership will help when I am ready to hire a team.
This might seem intuitive, but it will be constructive to spell it out. Can you share with us a few reasons why giving honest and direct feedback is essential to being an effective leader?
Indirect and misleading feedback create false lies and, in some cases, false hope. It leaves room for error or for someone to miss what is necessary to accomplish a task. I have found in most cases when leaders sugarcoat feedback due to fear of rejection or likeability, they are doing a disservice to the person needing the feedback. However, when honest and sincere feedback is done right — communication, collaboration, productivity, and efficiency increase. A level of respect and trust between the individual and leader is also recognized, and the environment is tension free. Not to mention, the job as a leader becomes easier and allows for teamwork at its finest.
One of the trickiest parts of managing a team is giving honest feedback, in a way that doesn’t come across as too harsh. Can you please share with us five suggestions about how to best give constructive criticism to a remote employee? Kindly share a story or example for each.
This is such a good question. This shift to remote employment created a new set of rules, such as everyone is reduced to a small box on screen, keeping your camera on (or off), relying on someone’s internet stability and let’s not forget the endless jokes about proper Zoom attire. Quite honestly, it can be hard to give feedback to a remote employee with these new guidelines in play. While nothing will substitute an in-person meeting, having the employee see your facial expressions and hear your tone is just as good.
1. Choose a good time to chat. Just because an employee is working remotely doesn’t mean there aren’t situations or issues happening in their personal life. One morning I planned to have a conversation with an employee that I didn’t get a chance to complete the day before. I figured I could knock it out first thing in the morning and roll into my day. At the beginning of our meeting, I could visibly tell that something was wrong, so rather than diving into the meeting topics, I asked about her well-being. It turns out there were quite a few things that triggered her prior to signing on for work. She needed time to decompress but didn’t want to be late for our meeting. I asked her to take a break to gather herself and rescheduled our meeting, advising that it was only feedback which can wait. When I met with her later, she was in a much better mental state, receptive to the feedback and appreciated the extra time to process everything. You won’t always know when it’s a good time to chat, but I learned to read facial expressions and always ask, “Is this a good time to provide feedback regarding a project you are on?”
2. Highlight things they are doing great and give kudos. How is their overall job performance? What did the employee do that was impressive? In my experience, when I start out with great things, they are receptive to receiving. It also helps them realize the meeting isn’t about downing them overall. It’s meant to help them improve. Anything that is notable, give credit.
3. Provide direct feedback. One of my first experiences giving feedback, I found myself treading lightly. As expected, my feedback came across as uncertain, vague, and ambiguous with a wishy-washy tone. My insecurities showed up big time and I felt defeated. Later I found out the recipient of the feedback was unclear and struggled to grasp what my overall message was. That is when I learned don’t sugarcoat or dance around what needs to be said. Say it directly but, with tact. How you say something is just as important as what you say. Practice to find a good mix between being direct and diplomatic. Like anything else, it is not easy when you start but it becomes easier over time.
4. Reinforce the excellent work done so far and discuss opportunities for development. Before I finish a conversation, I like to create a plan for improvement and include advancement opportunities as well. It is typically a sandwich process. I start the plan, but I want feedback as to what can be done to rectify and then I end with a potential opportunity to advance. It’s a two-way street and I want the person to feel included in this plan. From experience, the more involved the individual is, the more invested they are willing to fulfill their goals.
5. Request input from their perspective. A part of being a good leader is listening whether it’s good or bad, just listen. Gain their opinion about how the overall conversation went. Are they clear on expectations going forward? Do they have any questions or concerns? What changes would they like to see, or do they want something different to happen? Every time I left an opportunity to voice concerns, it typically resulted in a deeper conversation.
Working remotely wasn’t common until the pandemic therefore, giving direct feedback is crucial now more than ever to get the job done.
Can you address how to give constructive feedback over email? If someone is in front of you much of the nuance can be picked up in facial expressions and body language. But not when someone is remote. How do you prevent the email from sounding too critical or harsh?
Sending feedback via an email is a bit challenging since it’s harder to detect the sender’s tone. My advice for feedback over email is similar to the advice for remote employees, with a few tweaks. Feel free to start an email with a statement of consideration such as “Hope this message finds you well” or “Hope you enjoyed…” It’s thoughtful and lightens the mood for the individual. Point out things they did great. Provide feedback — sincere and direct. Reinforce the excellent things they completed and request feedback on what they think can be done better. Be clear on next steps and expectations going forward.
A question I like to ask is if the person receiving the email were to read it in your voice, would they detect it as constructive commenting? If not, rewrite it. Chances are that if it sounds abrasive, then it really is. A few things worth mentioning are to avoid sounding condescending or snobby. Never respond to an email when angry or upset, chances are your tone will sound irate and curt. Lastly, using conjunctions softens the feel of the email.
In your experience, is there a best time to give feedback or critique? Should it be immediately after an incident? Should it be at a different time? Should it be at set intervals? Can you explain what you mean?
The best time to give feedback varies based on what the situation was. Was it something that should be addressed right away? Does the leader need time to reflect before sharing criticism? Sometimes providing feedback immediately can lead to a mix of emotions being tossed in the blender and hoping you get a good cocktail. Does the leader need time to acquire all the details before discussing it? Whatever the answer is I recommend approaching with a clear, level head to give the best feedback or critique to the individual. Feedback or a critique should be used to course correct or rectify an issue in hopes they learn from the error and avoid the same mistake. As leaders, a part of our responsibilities includes guiding and harnessing employees’ strengths. The point is, it’s ok to say I need a moment to think about this before jumping and giving feedback that doesn’t help the person on the other end.
How would you define what it is to “be a great boss”? Can you share a story?
My definition of a great boss is someone with a teacher’s heart. The individual is patient, willing to impart their wisdom, direct, yet diplomatic, and respectful. This person is a team player and values their team’s opinion. I had one boss who I thought was remarkable. Conversely, a lot of people didn’t think he was amazing but rather harsh, bitter, and tough.
When I first started working with him, I was certain I would be fired. Like I mentioned, no one liked him, and he had a reputation of not keeping employees. At the time, I needed my job because my family depended on me. As anyone could imagine; I was under a lot of pressure to avoid the chopping block at all costs. During our initial meeting, he shared his expectations and role requirements. In the weeks to follow, I received training, corrections when things weren’t right, and more. Eventually, he served as my mentor and within a year, he would provide advice but left the major decisions in my hands which led to him giving me the reins to lead the department. Ultimately, this gave me the confidence of an owner rather than an employee (even though we were employees) where I would always keep the company’s vision first. I was his longest employee — approximately four and a half years — until I resigned.
People didn’t think that he could have employees and that he would scare me off. Although, I judged a book (in this case, my former boss) based on other people’s reviews rather than reading it myself. My lesson was that I get to experience people and situations first-hand rather than based on what someone else says or experiences. I am beyond grateful for his wisdom, his leadership, and his communication as that is what helped to shape me as an individual. The knowledge he imparted, not only about work but life, was priceless. We still have an excellent relationship even though I am not with the company.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
A few years ago, my close friend told me about container homes which are essentially a shipping container that can be used as a tiny home or a home with multiple rooms. The cost to create is inexpensive and it is a sustainable idea. Since I am a firm believer in second chances, this would be a great way to set up a neighborhood for homeless people to thrive again. This neighborhood would offer skill set development or enhancement, decent wages for jobs, and a sense of community. This serves as a green project and would assist certain cities with their homeless population. Obviously, there must be rules but, you get the gist of where I am going with this.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
If anyone knows me, they know that I love quotes, so I live by many. A couple of my favorites are “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, shows the way” by John Maxwell. Or “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” by Benjamin Franklin. Or “Hindsight is 20/20” by someone. I could go on and on with the quotes.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I would love to hear from and connect with the readers.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlyf.young/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberlyf-young/
Thank you for these great insights! We really appreciate the time you spent with this.
Thank you so much for having me — this was tons of fun.
Kimberly Young: Giving Feedback; How To Be Honest Without Being Hurtful was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
