Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse: Stephen McGough Of DHS Women and Couples Wellness On 5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold
An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis
Remember just how important your partner is to you. Try to let go of any anger and remember what things you enjoyed when you met. What really attracted you to each other? Many times as we get used to things, we take them for granted. This is especially important in our relationships.
When people first get married, they are usually deeply in love and extremely excited to be together. But sometimes, over time, that passion and excitement begins to fade. This has been particularly true after the pandemic, when many marriages went through great upheavals. What can a couple do to rekindle the love and excitement that they used to have when they were first together?
In this interview series, called “Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse; 5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold,” we are talking to relationship professionals, therapists, psychologists, and coaches to share stories and insights from their experience.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Stephen McGough, DHS.
Stephen McGough is a clinical sexologist and the director of Research and Development at Women and Couples Wellness. Steve and his Wife Wendy have doctorates in Human Sexuality, focusing on Clincal Sexology and over the past 12 years have worked with thousands of women and couples studying how to enhance intimate experiences. Steve has multiple books and publications on massage, relationships, and neuroscience, as well as 6 patents on women’s health technologies.
https://himassager.com/our-story
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
My career began in neuroscience research. I would have never expected to be in this field 20 years ago. I guess it would be best to explain the background of how this happened. Sometimes life takes us in directions we don’t expect.
After 5 years of my wife Wendy and I trying to get pregnant, we were finally blessed. But in the last 2 months of the pregnancy, Wendy was exposed to an antibiotic-resistant bacteria. She soon became very sick, and complications forced her to require an emergency c-section. Tragically our son Luke only lived a day.
Wendy then spent 2 years in and out of ICU because the infection became resistant to every antibiotic they tried. Thankfully the Mayo Clinic eventually discovered an antibiotic that cleared the infection.
It took Wendy a long time to recover, but now was dealing with painful tissue adhesions. Scar tissue from the multiple surgeries she’d needed caused adhesions between her intestines and uterus. These adhesions would cause her intestines to periodically twist and become blocked, which can quickly become life-threatening.
In trying to find a solution for this, I ended up discovering a new approach, and device to help her tissue adhesions. This new approach had a very unexpected side effect — that caused a major career shift — even though it was initially on the belly, and through clothing, it often induced orgasms in women.
This discovery eventually caused me to shift careers. We both ended up getting doctorates in human sexuality. My research focus in sexology was on anorgasmia (the inability to have an orgasm) and the neurological mechanisms behind orgasm.
In the beginning, the focus was only on physical techniques, and understanding the underlying mechanisms. This resulted in 6 patents on new methods and devices for women. Later though we realized the couple’s relationships played a huge role in their intimate health. If their relationship had issues, they usually had issues in the bedroom.
So we didn’t take the traditional route of studying counseling or pathologies in relationships. Our focus has been on developing ways to resolve intimate challenges and how to enhance the overall experience for couples.
Over the years we noticed that most couples were having intimate challenges in similar ways. When couples were having challenges, there usually was a misunderstanding in one or more of some fundamental areas. However, couples with great relationships were on the same page with each other about these simple things.
We also found that many of these challenges can be easily solved if couples just:
(1) Understood some basic ideas (frequently that they thought they were on the same page about, but actually weren’t because they had never talked about it)
and
(2) Learned a few simple skills for taking care of each other.
We found that what made couples truly happy in the long run wasn’t wealth, status, or appearance, but if they were on the same page about life, and how they treated each other. The great thing is these skills were easy to learn.
So our background comes from a very different approach than most people in this field.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
I’ve had many very interesting experiences. The most memorable have been getting to know several prominent people from the history of sexual health research. My mentor Dr. Ted McIlvenna shared his experiences and wisdom, ranging from when he marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, to working with Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy, Bill Masters, Virginia Johnson, and other pioneers in these fields. As well as being able to meet and know other pioneers in women’s health such as Betty Dodson.
What I found most interesting about that was they LIVED the history we hear about, and often their recollection was very different from what we now read.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting?
I guess this is funny — in a wonderful way. Wendy had been using the device we created daily to hopefully keep her surgical adhesions relaxed. We had been told there was virtually no chance of getting pregnant due to severe uterine, and fallopian tube damage from the past surgeries. Then, 5 years after she had recovered, Wendy started getting very weird symptoms. None of the doctors we saw could figure out what was happening. The symptoms continued to get worse, and after 7 doctor’s visits and 24 weeks later we were seeing another specialist. During the visit, a volunteer nurse’s assistant commented, “hmm that sure sounds like you might be pregnant.” The MD gave the assistant a harsh look because they didn’t want Wendy’s feeling hurt as getting pregnant wasn’t possible. They had said there was absolutely no chance of getting pregnant, and should look at adopting if we wanted children.
Driving home from the visit, almost at the same time we decided to stop & pick up a pregnancy kit and… AND WE WERE PREGNANT! Just 16 weeks later we had an amazing little girl!
Our daughter Daniela is the most wonderful blessing of this whole experience. We now also work with Fertility specialists for part of a natural, non-medical protocol to help couples become pregnant.
Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
The main lesson is to always try to look at the obvious — even if the current information (and experts) tell you otherwise. Wendy’s stomach had even begun to swell because we were already 60% through the pregnancy. Even though many “signs and symptoms” were right in front of us. The doctor’s overlooked it because it “wasn’t possible”. It took an outside person that didn’t know the history to state the obvious.
That’s a reminder that there may be many opportunities that we are overlooking — simply because we don’t ever think to look at it from a different perspective.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success?
The three character traits that I believe have been most essential for my success are: determination to follow through, adaptability/creativity, communication
Can you please share a story or example for each?
Determination to not let go of our vision was essential to get to this point. For the first 9 years, we had continual setbacks getting the product that’s used in our programs manufactured. There were literally hundreds of sleepless nights. But we were absolutely committed to moving ahead and making it happen.
As far as adaptability/creativity — we didn’t succeed at our first crowdfunding (it was a disaster) so we had to regroup and rethink everything many time. 2 years later we successfully were funded. To achieve what you want, the majority of time it seems you have to take a very different path from what you initially think it will be. So being able to adapt, and change is essential if you want to succeed.
The ability to clearly communicate is something that I’m continually trying to improve. Being able to both write and speak in a clear way has been essential both professionally as well as for Wendy and my relationship. The most important aspect of this (I believe) is to be able to clearly express what you need, in a way that also addresses what others need.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now?
We just launched a new program for couples that is a very different way to help respark your relationship. It’s called “The Magical Mystery Date”. It’s an easy way to learn powerful skills that can bring back excitement in your relationship while having fun on a date together. Instead of attending classes or coaching, you practice new skills on a date.
Another program will launch soon that teaches couples ways to bring their intimate relationship to a completely new level. It takes concepts from Tantra and Taoist Sexual Yoga, and teaches them in a format that is very easy to understand from a western viewpoint. That will launch soon. One way it’s different is it uses our product the hi® Massage System.
How do you think that will help people?
We have already gotten wonderful feedback from hundreds of people going on the date program. Many people don’t have time, or don’t want to meet for “coaching”, therapy, or anything like that. They just want to get things back like they were before. This is a simple, fun, first step that is done on a date. So it gives couples a different way to approach this challenge — and have fun at the same time.
For the new program, we have taught that as an advanced class at resorts for years and directly seen how it can profoundly improve couple’s quality of life. We’ll soon be providing it as a course couples can take in the privacy of their own home.
For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly tell our readers why you are an authority about the topic of marriage?
From an experience standpoint, over the last 12 years, we’ve worked with several thousand women and couples researching intimate health. Our focus has been on developing ways to resolve intimate challenges many women have, and enhance the overall experience for couples. While our original focus was on physical areas, we quickly learned that relationship challenges needed to be address many times as well.
This experience has given us a unique perspective on the challenges we all face, especially couples with busy lifestyles. Over the years we noticed that most couples were having intimate challenges in similar ways.
When couples were having challenges, there usually was a misunderstanding in one or more of some fundamental areas. However, couples with great relationships were on the same page with each other about these simple things.
We also found that many of these challenges can be easily solved if couples just:
(1) Understood some basic ideas (frequently that they thought they were on the same page about, but actually weren’t because they had never talked about it)
and
(2) Learned a few simple skills for taking care of each other.
We found that what made couples truly happy in the long run wasn’t wealth, status or appearance, but if they were on the same page about life, and how they treated each other.
The great thing is these skills are easy to learn.
So, our approach is quite different, but effective because we focus on simple steps that produce changes both partners benefit from.
As well, my wife and I have been married and have been able to keep our passion for over 20 years. My mentor Dr. McIlvenna often told me that the only way someone can give meaningful advice about life is if they have already experienced what the other person is going through. We’ve had many challenges ranging from losing children, to life-threatening illnesses, raising our daughter, and managing very stressful startup businesses. But we’ve found ways to work together and care for each other along the way. So we have lived and experienced what we share with others.
Ok. Thank you for that. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘How to Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold’. Based on your experience, what is a common root cause of marriages “going cold”?
We have found that the most common cause of marriages “going cold” is the couple stops sharing the experiences (or loses track of the reasons) that had originally attracted them.
In other words, what originally caused them to be attracted has changed. This can be from many things. It could be stress, caring for children, or other challenges that happen in life.
Or it may be that one partner changes. It also could be that neither of them really knew themselves, and what they wanted, when they got in the relationship. Then as they learned more about themselves, they found they had different priorities.
Our experience has been that a long-term relationship is a journey two people share together. This journey through life will likely have both wonderful, and truly challenging experiences.
Couples with strong relationships usually share strong reasons (purposes or desires) to be together. Plus these shared purposes give both of them meaning and satisfaction. This usually has multiple facets, and the more reasons each person has the stronger the relationship will be.
The main challenge is if one or both partners realize that they no longer, or never shared a mutual purpose. Many times people are attracted physically, or with romantic crushes and get swept up in the moment. They don’t really know the other partner, but commit to the relationship. Frequently they don’t truly know themselves (and what they really want out of life) yet as well. This difference usually becomes more noticeable after the newness and initial passion of the relationship fade, particularly when they face stresses of work, raising children, and life.
A second reason, that often causes people to no longer feel attraction or love is that after they are together for a while, each person defaults to the communication style they are most comfortable with.
When they were first dating, they both showered each other with affection in many ways. They did this in the way they looked at each other, what they said, and their physical actions. Usually there was a particular combination of things each person did that triggered a special giddy feeling.
However as they settled in they likely defaulted to what works for each of them, without realizing it might not be the same for the other partner. So while they might still truly love their partner, they are expressing it in a way that’s causing the other person to have the same emotional reaction. This can be very frustrating because they could be trying but feel like it’s the other person that changed when in reality it’s the way they’re expressing themself.
The second reason can have a big impact on how each partner feels, but no longer having mutually shared motivations to be together is what will ultimately cause them to lose their connection.
In my experience with helping others in relationship difficulty, I most often hear “lack of communication” as the reason for the difficulty or wanting to end the relationship. Lack of communication is really a symptom of the real root cause, which is always “loss of connection.” What must be done to regain that connection?
To regain connection, couples need to find something they can share that helps them feel emotional intimacy again. This can be something that they shared in the past, or something new. It needs to be something that is important to both of them. We call that, “building a base”. From there you can expand.
In these cases, the first step would be to find something in common they both want, something they both enjoy. In some cases that can be regaining intimacy, or just committing to doing something fun together they both enjoy.
However, those are often temporary stopgaps. But if that can keep them together and give them hope for continuing to grow together, it’s a first step. From there it’s a process of learning to honestly share what each person wants and finding ways to meet those needs together if possible.
That process can take time because many times each partner has to learn to trust the other enough to truly express what they want without fear of judgment. They also may need to learn how to not judge each other. Our experience has been that about 90% of couples don’t completely share with each other what they want. This is particularly true in intimate areas, but also in other parts of life.
Of course in cases where there may be abuse or dangerous situations, couples may need to separate, but we’re not addressing those situations here.
Based on your experience, what is the foundation for a successful marriage?
In our opinion, a marriage is strongest when it’s built on deep friendship, mutual trust, acceptance, and the desire to help each other grow. From that, they can develop a passion that will grow as they age.
This is easier said than done, but in our experience, ideally it begins with, or over time evolves into a genuine friendship. That friendship is a connection that some say feels spiritual.
Many times sexual attraction, romance and crushes are what attract most couples at first. They ideally also are good friends from the beginning, but many times couples really don’t know each other if it was a whirlwind romance. If they are fortunate, real friendship will hopefully develop, and continue to grow through the relationship.
Ideally that friendship can help couples feel safe to truly express what they want, both with life goals and sexually. If they can both accept each other for what they truly are, what they each want to do, and then work together to help each other grow, we believe they have the foundation for a very strong relationship.
It has been said that “a healthy, happy marriage is the union of two generous forgivers”. Can you talk about why forgiveness is so important for a relationship to thrive?
In our opinion, being able to forgive someone usually indicates that you have consciously, or unconsciously chosen to accept them for who they are and feel like you can ultimately trust them. You know that they may make mistakes, just like you may, but have a confident feeling that you’ll be able to work it out together. This may come from a profound feeling of love or trust or both.
Based on your experience, why do you think couples struggle to forgive and be forgiven?
Our experience has been that unfortunately many couples are at some level insecure about their relationship. This can be personal insecurity, or from their partner’s behavior. Having fear that their partner might leave or be unfaithful often causes people to be afraid that if they do forgive them, it might make them think they can continue doing whatever wasn’t acceptable.
They also may have come from a background where their parents had issues with forgiveness, so they are repeating the cycle. This can be a major challenge, but there are ways to work through this. But like many things, this is easier said than done. The first step is to build the areas that are common bonds. That way you develop more confidence in the relationship.
Is it important for marriage partners to inspire each other to be the best version of themselves that they can be? Can you please explain what you mean?
We believe that in healthy relationships couples will want to support and inspire each other so they both can grow. This is because we all need to grow, and if our relationship supports this it is the most fulfilling.
There is a word in Sanskrit called Mudita that can describe this form of affection and appreciation. Mudita means to feel happy when your partner or friend grows and does well. This is often experienced vicariously. It is a feeling of pleasure from delighting in someone elses well-being.
In healthy positive relationships, each couple has this feeling of “Mudita” towards each other. They want to help each other grow to be the best person they can be. They also delight in their growth. This is a wonderful experience to share with someone else.
That being said, this can sometimes be confused with one partner wanting to change or mold the other into the image they want. Sooner or later this causes resentment in the other partner.
So there needs to be a balance here to make sure each partner has room to grow in the way that is truly right for them, and now what the other might think is “right”.
Unfortunately, the opposite of this can happen sometimes in toxic or abusive relationships. One, or both partners are insecure about the other leaving. So they want to keep the other partner from growing and gaining confidence because they’re afraid if they become independent they might leave. I’m mentioning this because it’s good to have a perspective of the opposite of a healthy relationship.
What is the difference between marriage partners being “a team” and not just “a couple” ?
We would consider a couple more of a “team” if they are on the same page about their life direction and actively support each other in working towards their goals. They have a dynamic where they “pay it forward” and do things simply because they care for their partner. The pleasure they get is from knowing they’ll make their partner happy, not because of what they think they’ll get out of it in exchange. That may not be the case with all relationships (or “couples”) So to us that would be what distinguishes a “couple” from also being a “team”.
Ok, here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold?” Can you please give a story or example for each?
(1) Remember just how important your partner is to you. Try to let go of any anger and remember what things you enjoyed when you met. What really attracted you to each other? Many times as we get used to things, we take them for granted. This is especially important in our relationships.
Ask yourself honestly, “if you acted the way you currently act when you were dating, would your partner have continued going out with you?”
What if your partner left, or passed away? Would you miss them? Remind yourself of all the amazing things about your partner that you’ll miss. This helps you get back in the mindset of really appreciating your partner.
The key point here is this isn’t something you do with or for your partner, you are changing how you yourself appreciate and perceive them. If you really care for them, odds are it will cause a subtle change in how you act. By changing your feelings for your partner, odds are they’ll pick up on this.
Now another great way to expand this is to list out all the things about your partner that you really love. Take that list and turn it into complements you tell your partner over time. You need to be sincere when you tell them, but flattery often helps a lot more than you realize.
(2) Discover, and do, the unique things that trigger your partner feeling truly cared for. This technique comes from neurolinguistics. It takes a little work, but is a skill that can transform your relationship as well as other parts of your life. To summarize it, your partner, and you, have a specific series of things that are needed to trigger special feelings of being cared for and loved.
When you were first dating, odds are you showered your partner with affection in many ways. You looked at them in a particular way and gave them things like flowers, etc. You spoke with them in a very specific way expressing your love. You likely hugged and touched them in with passion as well. They likely did the same for you.
Some specific combination of what you did is what triggered special feelings for them. However, later as people get comfortable in the relationship they tend to default back to doing what they personally think would make their partner feel loved. This is because that’s what they need to feel that way. However if your partner needs a different way to feel loved, you have a challenge. This may cause them to wonder why they don’t “feel it” anymore.
This can be really frustrating because you truly care, but what you’re doing isn’t working anymore. The good news is there are ways to find out what your partner needs to experience that “giddy feeling” again. You can grab a book on neurolinguistics and read about “discovering someone’s submodality” and then think about it in reflection to your partner.
In our program “The Magical Mystery Date” we show you an easy, fast way to do this while you’re out on your date. The great thing is once you learn this, you can do it regularly to keep that feeling going.
(3) Make more time for touching and Intimacy. Men and women often have different ideas of what intimacy and sex mean. Libido for men and women also changes as they age.
Make it a point to spend more time together touching. This doesn’t have to mean sexual activity, just regular physical contact. Try going for regular walks and holding hands. Cuddling in bed with or without having sex is wonderful thing to do.
Regular caring touch helps us release more oxytocin, which is often called “the Love Hormone”. Touching and caressing your partner’s body in certain ways can profoundly help with this. Gently stroking the chest and nipples causes oxytocin release not only in women, but men as well. Several studies have shown that women with low average oxytocin levels are more likely to be separated or divorced. The good news is there are physical techniques you can do to help keep these levels high.
Stress and sleep loss causes the stress hormone cortisol to increase while at the same time decreasing oxytocin. Having regular time together to touch and cuddle can help both partners increase their oxytocin levels. Plus the levels are elevated when they are together so the feeling is more strongly associated.
Sexual arousal and orgasm also cause a significant release of oxytocin. But it’s important for women and men to understand each other’s needs.
One way we teach couples to dramatically increase their connection, oxytocin, and odds for future orgasms’ is a technique called “Intimacy Massage”. Intimacy Massage came from my graduate research in female anorgasmia. Sexology Pioneers Masters and Johnson create a massage and touching technique called “Sensate Focus” to help women become orgasmic. This technique has the “giver” gently stroke different parts of the “receivers” body, but sexual activity doesn’t happen during the session. The “receiver” focuses just on the sensations. I used this approach but mapped it to a modern understanding of the nervous system — particularly the areas where the vagus nerve can be stimulated from the skin.
We found this modern, enhanced version I call “Intimacy Massage” took things to a new level. Plus the technique can be used on both women and men. You can learn more about “Intimacy Massage” as well through the “Magical Mystery Date” Program,
We teach this program on a series of “dates” as well because we found couples often didn’t want to attend a discussion. Plus what they really needed was to spend more time together enjoying themselves.
As far as the original question about intimacy and touch, any form of touch helps. Intimacy Massage is just a very powerful way to reconnect and bond while increasing sexual abilities at the same time.
Please note that in cases of trauma, the partner who has experienced this may not be up for physical touch. This is a situation that would likely need to be addressed by a health professional.
(4) Realize you may have very different meanings for “Love”, “Sex” and many other ideas — and not knowing this may be causing issues.
Many times each partner will have very different meanings for some fundamental ideas. But they’ve never talked about it, or even thought about it. Unfortunately, English doesn’t handle these areas well. Words like “Love”, “Sex” and others can also be defined by context. For instance, Greek has more than 5 separate words for Love. Each word has a very different meaning. Sanskrit has 96 separate words to describe the experiences. Sex can also have a wide range of meanings.
We usually learn the context of these words from our upbringing. However, you both had different upbringings, so your definitions may be quite different. This may seem like getting caught in semantics, but it can be a huge deal.
As you know, love is an experience that can have many different feelings. It also changes and evolves as we do. Many times people first associate “love” with the romantic feelings they had when they were first dating. Some people associate this “early love” it with sexual activity, others with friendship, or crushes. But most of the time the feelings of love will change for both people over time.
This usually begins to cause problems is when one or both partners realizes don’t feel the emotions they once had. One partner may think they need to bring back romance, excitement, or desire. The other may want a feeling of security, or deep connection. They both say they want to work on their relationship, but they’re seeking different experiences.
The meaning of Sex can be just as confusing. What is sex? What activities are “sex”, and what aren’t. Odds are if you have an honest discussion with your partner you’d be amazed at how different your ideas may be.
In reality, sex can be many things. For instance, it can be considered a type of massage. But it also is one of our most personal acts, that can create life. So when does it change from a “massage” to “sex”, or something else?
In reality, it’s a fluid state that can shift based on the feelings and intentions of both partners. Also, each partner’s intention may change during the process. That’s why clear communication and consent are vital.
We help couples understand that there are 5 very distinct motivations for sex. Many times men and women have different motivations (reasons) causing them to want sex. But they don’t realize they’re coming from a different viewpoint and have different needs.
They also don’t have a clear way to express their needs and have them taken care of in a way that works for both partners. For example, many times one partner will have a stronger sex drive, but approach their partner in a way that annoys them. This frequently ends up with their advance being rejected. Then later the other partner will be in the mood, but is subtle about it, and it’s not understood. So now they’re both frustrated, and missing out on opportunities to be together.
But once they understand these differences, and can get on the same page, it can completely transform their relationship. It’s almost like before you were both speaking different languages, but now understand each other.
This way both women and men can express their needs, and have them taken care of in a way that works for each person. Plus it creates a way that both their expression of love, and experience of sex can continually grow and become more exciting with each passing year.
There are several other ideas that couples often misunderstand, but love and sex are two of the major ones.
Don’t let this overwhelm you though. We have couples learn these ideas slowly, in a way that helps them feel safe.
The key point to understand is you and your partner may not have the same meaning for some important parts of your life. Just being a aware of this is the first critical step. Also realize that both of your feelings about these areas will evolve and change.
Tell your partner you want to have an honest talk about what love and sex mean. Try to give examples of what it means for you. Then ask them to do the same. Just be careful and respectful, because these topics often are very emotionally charged.
(5) Make it a priority to regularly spend time together going on a date, or doing something you both enjoy.
Depending on the culture, some couples stop dating when they get married. Even if they continue to want to date, having children changes everything because now they have to make sure they’re safely cared for. My wife Wendy and I met at a ballroom dance club and we really enjoyed going dancing regularly. However when our daughter was born, it was 7 years before we realized we hadn’t been dancing.
Of course caring for children is essential and absolutely worth it. Your relationship together is becoming the example your children will model for how they think relationships are supposed to be. Setting a good example of a loving, caring relationship is an important gift you can give your children.
That being said it’s good to realize that often we often stop doing the things we did when we were first going out, and don’t even realize it. So if you feel like things have gone cold in your marriage, it’s good to honestly ask yourself — what are we doing differently? Maybe you should start thinking about each other like you did when you were dating.
So the takeaway from this is that your relationship is one of the most important things in life. But we often take it for granted, simply because we just get used to things. Plus the demands of caring for children, and life in general can cause a whirlwind of distractions to keep us busy nonstop.
Just like it’s important to exercise to maintain our health, spending time together simply to be with your partner is vital — if you want a good relationship. Now if you’re hyper busy and have very little time I understand.
I promise you life is so much better if you prioritize a little regular time to take care of each other. That’s why the programs we teach are implemented on dates together.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman, PhD. This is an outstanding guide for couples to address communication issues, intimacy, and many other areas that are important for relationships. It also is highly “evidence based” and draws from hundreds of studies.
The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran. This is more for enjoyment and not “self help” The book is a story that talks about many topics from a practical and metaphorical standpoint. I personally found its sections on love to be very beautiful description of ways to have a meaningful relationship with your partner.
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
One movement I would love to see happened is an organization that motivates/educates parents on the importance of helping their children really think about what they both truly enjoy, and are good at. I’m a big fan of the Japanese concept of “ikigai” where people seek to find something that truly inspires them, there’s a need for, and they can make a living with.
I think that our society would benefit tremendously if more people focused on what they had a passion for, and were good at. Plus the better people know themselves, the better prepared they will be for relationships.
We are very blessed that very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I’d really enjoy meeting and chatting with Jamie Wheal, who wrote “Recapture the Rapture” and “Stealing Fire”.
As well, it would be wonderful to chat with Dave Asprey and Ben Greenfield.
Thank you for these great insights and for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you only continued success!
Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse: Stephen McGough Of DHS Women and Couples Wellness On 5… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
