Cynthia Cristilli Of Life Theatre Services On The 5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker
An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis
You do you. No matter what the event, dress in a way that makes you feel confident, attractive and like “you.” You want to respect your audience by showing that you care, but at the same time feel “your best self.” If this means wearing a suit, even if the audience is more casual, then do it! And the opposite is true as well. If you’re presenting to a group of suits and want to wear a frilly dress and combat boots, go for it! Don’t be afraid to wear what makes you feel great and is representative of who you are, not who you think your audience wants you to be.
At some point in our lives, many of us will have to give a talk to a large group of people. What does it take to be a highly effective public speaker? How can you improve your public speaking skills? How can you overcome a fear of speaking in public? What does it take to give a very interesting and engaging public talk? In this interview series called “5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker” we are talking to successful and effective public speakers to share insights and stories from their experience. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Cynthia Cristilli.
Cynthia Cristilli is a public speaker, writer and pioneer in the field of interactive theatre and its power to promote social change. She has spent more than two decades as Founder, Co-Director and Facilitator of the Emmy-award winning training company Life Theatre Services www.lifetheatre.com Life Theatre is a group of professional actors known for their powerful short plays on social issues and ability to engage audiences to be part of the action.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
Sure, and thank you Fotis for asking! I was the youngest child of five to Sicilian immigrant parents. Growing up my family was the loud, raucous, unruly “I-talians” in our mostly white protestant neighborhood in Southern California. It was a nice middle-class upbringing in a leafy suburb… and yet… my primary goals were to live in a five flight walk up in New York City, get jostled on the subway, wear black turtlenecks, and sit cross legged on the floor listening to jazz. Also, to play a character on a soap opera. And go out to lunch a lot. To quote Lily Tomlin “I always wanted to be somebody, now I realize I should have been more specific.”
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?
Amazingly, I did achieve all of the goals I set out for myself that I mentioned above. Except the soap opera part. Turns out I was not a great actress, despite years of acting classes. I was however, very good at being natural and playing myself. This is not so great for acting but good for public speaking. After a couple years in NY, I finally managed to meet with an agent, who told me he couldn’t “sign me”, but would put my name down on a list of “maybe’s.” He reached down and brought up a 20-pound dusty book, that looked like the Guttenberg Bible. As he turned to the middle of the 1,000 pages, I thought I saw a small moth fly out. He wrote my name in, then closed it with a dull thud. That was when I decided I’d best get more creative about my career choice. I discovered Drama Therapy. It sounded just right, since many people in acting classes, including myself, also used them as free therapy…all that crying and soul searching!
Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I managed, mostly on my own, to generate a series of television specials that ended up winning an Emmy Award. I used ambition, research, old school letter writing, a small window of opportunity and general “ballsiness.” I’ve made my career by combining public speaking with short, interactive plays to bring the message home. I had been doing this in corporations as a training tool for a couple of years when asked to present for a group of Bay Area leaders, one of whom was a producer for ABC. I wrote him a letter beforehand and asked that he watch our session with an eye for a potential “interactive” television show. And he did. I cornered him afterwards and long story short, ended up co-producing 3 half hour specials, called “Talking Back.” One of the specials won the Emmy for “Outstanding Achievement in Current Affairs Programming.”
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Well, this was not exactly funny, especially to me, but it was a tremendous lesson. Early-ish in my career I had a full-blown panic attack in the middle of a training/speaking engagement. It was everything that you would imagine in your perfect public speaking nightmare, but in much more horrifying detail. I couldn’t take a deep breath, I went completely blank, I started obviously shaking and sweating so profusely that large sweat stains appeared under my arms. I’ll never forget the audiences’ faces of pity and embarrassment for me. THIS part is what I want public speakers to remember. The audience WANTS you to do well, it’s torture for them watching you sputter and flail, and they’ll do anything to help you! Which is exactly what they did. Someone raised their hand and I managed to call on them. They started to talk about their experiences with the topic I was addressing. Other people joined in. Eventually, thanks to those lovely people I could catch enough breath to continue, and gradually calmed myself enough to carry on. But it was scary as hell.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Yes! This is not your typical “who connected me to get where I am” kind of thing. It’s about learning from someone very different from yourself. One of the first jobs I took after I got my certification for Drama Therapy was with an educational theater company who toured the very worst NYC high schools in all five boroughs. This was the late 80’s when NYC was in very bad shape. The cast was primarily young people who had graduated from these often-daunting school environments. One young woman, Nadine Brown was the most gifted actress, speaker and “presence” I had ever known. She grew up in the projects in the Bronx, never had an hour of an acting/speaking class or any kind of training whatsoever. She captivated everyone who ever saw her or worked with her. She was totally herself, not afraid to be herself, no self-consciousness, no “acting” and yet she was riveting every time she spoke and in every role she played. We couldn’t have been farther from each other in age, looks, attitude, up bringing etc. She taught me everything I know about self-presentation and public speaking. She died of breast cancer over ten years ago and I try to honor her memory by always presenting my authentic self.
You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging and intimidating. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?
Yes, fail! Fail often and hard. Try failing in small ways and work your way up to major failures! It sounds glib, but it’s true. People who don’t fail a lot are creepy. Too much success and not enough failure makes people narcissistic, because they think it’s all about them and NOT about luck, which plays a huge part in success. I am a true believer in “crisis equals opportunity.” Every failure I’ve ever experienced turned out eventually, to be a factor in my success.
What drives you to get up every day and give your talks? What is the main empowering message that you aim to share with the world?
I truly believe I can change the world if it would just let me, damn it!! I am a very passionate person and my anger about inequity is a big motivator. That, and not being able to spread the word in a more global way fuels me to get up out of bed and keep trying. It also makes me cranky, which is helpful. My friend and business partner says that my rage keeps me going! So, for all those hot-tempered, socially conscious people out there my message is “use your rage at what’s wrong to fuel your passion.”
You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?
The project I’m heading for can also be the cause of my frustration. I’m always seeking to find a way to share my technique with those that need it most. What I do is unique in the world of public speaking. I don’t just speak to my audiences; I encourage them to speak as well! I engage audiences through interactive theater and “talk backs.” It’s an impactful way to examine social issues of every kind, and a powerful form of activism. I want to expand my current reach and teach underrepresented, in-need groups how to do it. Once taught, they in turn can present it and eventually teach it to their community. Surprisingly, it’s harder to team up with certain groups than you’d think.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
The quote I think of often and try to remind myself, especially when in crisis, is “eat the strawberries.” It comes from a Pema Chodron book called “The Wisdom of No Escape.” The story behind it, I’m paraphrasing here, is that a woman is being chased by tigers. She crawls down a cliff to escape and is holding on to strawberry vine. The tigers are above her, and she looks down and sees more tigers below her. Then she notices her vine is about to break. At that point she picks a strawberry, eats it and savors the taste. It reminds me, during these uncertain times that I’d better enjoy what’s in front of me right now.
Ok, thank you for all that. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker?” Please share a story or example for each.
Check out my video of “the 5 steps!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Aqm0bVats4
- Take drugs. Have a doctor prescribe you a low dose of Propranolol for your first couple speaking engagements. This is a beta blocker that will keep your head clear but also prevent you from having a panic attack. This very safe drug slows your heart just a bit, so it doesn’t trigger all those other symptoms that cause paralyzing anxiety. As someone who had a panic attack during an engagement, I only had to take it for a while until I felt back to myself, but it saved my career and my sanity.
- You do you. No matter what the event, dress in a way that makes you feel confident, attractive and like “you.” You want to respect your audience by showing that you care, but at the same time feel “your best self.” If this means wearing a suit, even if the audience is more casual, then do it! And the opposite is true as well. If you’re presenting to a group of suits and want to wear a frilly dress and combat boots, go for it! Don’t be afraid to wear what makes you feel great and is representative of who you are, not who you think your audience wants you to be.
- Disarm with a little charm (and a quick Google search.) Always begin by complimenting your audience. Do some research and personalize it. If you’re speaking to a bunch of farmers from Oklahoma, then look up farming in Oklahoma and begin with something like, “I know better than to underestimate Oklahoma farmers who just went through a major drought… and I get the feeling you’re not going to overestimate a public speaker from San Francisco.” Yeah, being a little self-deprecating helps too.
- Be passionate and don’t memorize anything. Make it as conversational as possible. Imagine you’re talking to your friends about something you’re obsessed with, only be more organized, articulate and well, brief. Know your major points then expand on each of them in a semi-improvisational way. Yes, this takes practice. Yes rehearse, rehearse and rehearse some more. Audiences can’t help but be swayed by your enthusiasm, and passion is contagious.
- Don’t listen to any tips. Figure out what works best for you and make it your own. I made all this stuff up from my experience, you can too! Good luck! Soon I’ll be looking for your 5 steps to being a highly effective public speaker!
As you know, many people are terrified of speaking in public. Can you give some of your advice about how to overcome this fear?
Picture everyone naked! No I’m kidding, I never understood that “naked” advice and it doesn’t make sense to me. It could be very disturbing actually, or arousing, depending on your audience. Seriously though I’d say, “be afraid, be very afraid!” No point pretending it’s not there, it’ll just sneak up on you. Practice being afraid, in a safe place, and with people that you don’t mind letting see you sweat. The more you experience it, the more you can control it. It’s like lion taming, which is probably not a great metaphor these days regarding animal rights, but bear with me. You’re the lion tamer, fear is the lion. The potential of death and dismemberment is always there, but you make friends with it, dance with it and together you create magic, or at least a great show. Being terrified heightens everything, makes you extremely sharp, super focused and in the flow.
You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I’d love to inspire a movement that makes interactive theater combined with public speaking a common practice in teaching and training. Here’s how it works, you start with public speaking which states the message. Then a short dramatic, funny and real life play which illustrates the issues of the message. After the play, open it up to a discussion between the characters in the play and the audience. Audience gets to question the characters and debate their actions. Actors answer as their characters and a lively discussion ensues. Using theater as a tool draws people in and allows them to experience issues in the most visceral way possible. Having the opportunity to talk directly to a fictional character in a play can be a buffer for uncomfortable topics. It encourages people to ask questions, challenge certain ideas and understand issues in a way they never have before. It can change the way we educate one another, promoting critical thinking rather than just rote learning. With this technique, audience members literally teach themselves, and how great is that?
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
Wow this is a big one, especially since, as I said earlier, I love going out to lunch! There are so many people to choose from, many of whom are dead or are characters from fiction. But if I have to get real world, I think I would choose Nancy Pelosi. A big part of our interview and 5 steps revolve around fear, and Nancy Pelosi is frickin’ fearless. No matter what your politics you’ve gotta admit she’s a force of nautre! She comes from a big Italian family, she produced her own big unruly Italian family, raised 5 kids and at the same time got involved in politics. Look what she’s accomplished! She’s 81 years old for heaven’s sake. She smashes all gender, age, housewife/mother stereotypes and makes me think I can continue to be a force in the world well into my 80’s and beyond.
Are you on social media? How can our readers follow you online?
@lifetheatreservices https://www.facebook.com/lifetheatre/
This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!
Cynthia Cristilli Of Life Theatre Services On The 5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
