The Future Is Now: “Now we can 3D print materials that were traditionally unprintable” With Chris Prucha, CEO of Origin
An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis
We want openness to win because it will increase material diversity and increase innovation in the ecosystem. We think this is necessary for 3D printing to hit those cost structures and expand in manufacturing, but there is a risk that companies that are highly vertically integrated could drive costs down low enough that you could have a single player win a lot of the market. We don’t think that’s good for the world.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Chris Prucha, CEO of Origin. Based in San Francisco, CA, Origin is pioneering the concept of Open Additive Manufacturing, a new way to build, based on open materials, extensible software, and modular hardware. Origin One, the company’s manufacturing-grade 3D printer, uses programmable photopolymerization to precisely control light, heat, and force, among other variables, to produce parts with exceptional accuracy and consistency. The company works with a network of material partners to develop a wide range of commercial grade materials for its system, resulting in some of the toughest and most resilient materials in additive manufacturing.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Chris! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I’m originally from Detroit, Michigan, and I moved to California a decade ago to work for Apple as a software engineer, but after a few years in the software world, I wanted to re-enter the physical world and work with my hands again. What I found really interesting about 3D printing is that it’s the closest thing we have to programmable matter.
My co-founder, Joel Ong, and I met while working on an open source software project. Joel had been working at Google on projects including Google X, Google Glass, and Chromium, an open source project backed by Chrome. I’d worked on Apple’s webkit, which was based off of Chromium.
When I started Origin, I was messing around with 3D printing and desktop printers, mostly low-quality consumer grade printers. I came across an open source printer called Ember, which was produced by Autodesk in the Bay Area. The parts the printer produced looked great, but they weren’t very strong. However, the fact that it was open source meant I could hack it to do a lot of very interesting things, and Joel helped me along the way.
I was interested in working with hardware startups, and one of the issues hardware startups have is bringing products to market. Normally, they’d 3D print a product that would look very rough, and they’d do all this processing to get a “looks like prototype.” To bring it to production, they would go through all these other stages, like design validation testing and engineering validation testing. I wondered why hardware couldn’t be more like software, where I could make a prototype in software, press a button, and launch it out to the world, and if it didn’t work, I could do it again and again and do things like split testing.
To do this with hardware, the logical answer was 3D printing, and I was lucky enough early on to meet a block chain startup called Chronicle, whose goal was to make enough prototypes that they could ship them as the final product. This was a very interesting concept at the time and still is.
Through software upgrades and tinkering with the hardware, Joel and I were able to produce parts that worked as a final product. Chronicle got a large contract for apparel blockchain authenticated shoe tags and needed help producing parts for the order, so we optimized the hardware and software to produce 10,000 high-quality 3D printed parts for consumers in a couple of weeks. That was the start of Origin.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I left my role as a software engineer at Apple in 2013 to co-found Notion, a productivity software app. At the time, I wasn’t sure Notion would be successful, so I founded Origin. Notion was recently valued at over a billion dollars. Financially, I’d be better off if I’d stayed at Notion!
Can you tell us about the “Bleeding edge” technological breakthroughs that you are working on?
Origin collaborates with a network of material partners, including large chemical companies and innovative startups. We build software-powered 3D printers, and the combination of software and hardware enables chemical companies to formulate and produce materials that are traditionally unprintable. Building a 3D printer that can print a new type of chemistry, or an existing chemistry outside of our space, is something that can be done, but it’s bespoke and therefore very expensive.
Our challenge is to build one system that moves the complexity away from the hardware and into the software, so we can accommodate many more chemistries within a single chemical company, but also across the chemical companies. Customers can purchase our system solution and have a diverse array of new materials, with new material properties that we haven’t seen before, and they can print on one system. We call our printer the Origin One because our product vision drives us to develop both software and hardware technology in tandem.
Our core technology, P3, or programmable photopolymerization, goes beyond existing 3D printing processes to be able to print a diverse array of chemistries. We’ve also developed thermal components that enable even more chemistries.
Our roadmap going forward includes hardware innovations that enable new material chemistries with world-class properties from these chemical companies. Many of these materials have already been developed and will soon be commercialized.
There are many unannounced hardware features in the Origin One system that we’re shipping that enable many of these new chemistries, but there’s no magic bullet — it’s really about engineering towards a principle, and that’s how you really build a platform
How do you think that will help people?
At Origin, we love creating value for our customers. The shoe manufacturer ECCO produces products using Origin technology to reduce costs and time to get to market with their products, as well as to open up new business models for their company.
3D systems have created value for Align Technologies, which makes Invisalign, because clear aligners solve a problem in the marketplace. We’re focused on value creation opportunities that have a broader benefit, and the medical space represents such an opportunity.
We have the ability to 3D print new material chemistries that are new to 3D printing but have existed in the medical space for a long time, so we know they are safe, and their parent chemistries are FDA approved. We’re able to print these on an Origin One system and go into the medical market with a variety of new products that could potentially be FDA approved, without having to invest a lot of time and money in developing new materials. We’re using less capital and less time to enter markets, and in the medical and dental space, where time is extended for FDA approval, this may ultimately mean that we are printing parts and products that help people more quickly.
How do you think this might change the world?
I believe 3D printing and Origin, as an idea, can change the world in two different ways.
3D Printing can produce products that can’t be produced by traditional manufacturing, which can potentially revolutionize medicine. It allows us to have clear aligners, like Invisalign, and has taken over the dental market. Dentists used to rely on manufacturing processes to produce dental products. Today, the biggest labs just 3D print those products, and the value created lowers the cost to make those products and shortens turnaround time.
In other areas of medicine, it used to be difficult or impossible to create things like customized stents, but now, you can 3D print one in a few minutes. 3D printing offers a huge potential impact for important sectors like healthcare.
The other thing is, given the value proposition of additive manufacturing, different markets will benefit from customization. Before the industrial revolution, everything was made by hand, and now we’re used to everything being mass-produced. 3D printing has the ability to bring customization back to manufacturing, if the materials are good enough, and the cost structure makes sense.
Origin can change the world by ensuring 3D printing isn’t like inkjet printing, where you have a $50 printer and $100 ink and are bound to a very small number of materials you can use because a small set of players dominate the industry. We believe open platforms are really important. Origin is an open platform, and we give customers choice.
We want openness to win because it will increase material diversity and increase innovation in the ecosystem. We think this is necessary for 3D printing to hit those cost structures and expand in manufacturing, but there is a risk that companies that are highly vertically integrated could drive costs down low enough that you could have a single player win a lot of the market. We don’t think that’s good for the world.
The most important thing for Origin is to ensure this doesn’t happen in manufacturing — that you don’t have a single player that controls everything. We want to make sure we have an open platform from the start, and we have the rare opportunity to do this because we’ve learned so much from open platforms in other spaces. My co-founder, Origin CTO Joel Ong, worked on Google’s open source Chromium project, and the open source philosophy is really in our company’s DNA.
Keeping “Black Mirror” in mind, can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology about which people should think more deeply?
It would be great if there was a 3D printing episode of Black Mirror about how 3D printing could transform society — it would help people and the industry think a lot about it. However, if there was an episode, there are some dark sides that are conceivable. For instance, there are security issues with 3D printing. Uploading a design that is stored in the cloud and being produced somewhere else by a 3D printer makes intellectual property more vulnerable to theft, because the actual design is being sent digitally to the printer. Traditionally, the design would only be kept on a small number of computers and transferred to a physical tool that is physically modified and can be hidden away. The issue of theft is a concern for companies that want to adopt 3D printing technology.
If we look a little further and imagine a world where 3D printing is everywhere, and materials are advanced enough, 3D printing systems could be hacked and used to print products that could hurt humanity. We know an expert in the material space who once said, “There’s no limit to the materials that could be developed for 3D printing — it’s not just about getting high performance materials to replace injection molding; there’s no reason we can’t print batteries, glass, or other things we thought were unprintable.” In the last couple of years, we’ve actually seen the 3D printing of glass, which happens to be a derivative of a technology similar to what we use. It’s also conceivable that AI could use 3D printing to produce objects that could control us.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Many people have helped me personally and helped my companies. Mike Maples, who’s on our Board of Directors, has been involved with Origin since before it was a company, when it was just a set of ideas and principles about how to create a product that could be shipped without going through the pitfalls of traditional manufacturing. When Mike Maples invested in Origin, we only had a software product. Mike invested in our company because he believed in our vision that 3D printing could become successful if there was an open platform that was software-driven.
In our first meeting with him, we told him we’d probably need to build our own hardware, and he gave us a piece of advice that most investors wouldn’t give; he said, “Chris, you need to control your own destiny, and if that means we need to build 3D printing hardware, then we need to build the best 3D printing hardware, and let’s figure out a way to do that.”
And we did. We hired the best hardware engineers and the best VP of Hardware we could find — Bill Buell, who built Makerbot’s engineering and manufacturing teams. We learned about chemistry, materials, and hardware ourselves; we built strong material and customer partnerships; and now we have a strong hardware program. The company would not have been successful without Mike’s advice.
Investors don’t just put in money; they can influence their companies, both negatively and positively. Mike has fundamentally influenced our company in a way to make it successful, by removing our anxiety and encouraging us, rather than being risk averse.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
@Chrisprucha on Twitter or add me on Linkedin by searching for Chris Prucha
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.
“5 Things That Can Be Done To Help Stabilize The Crypto Economy”, with Felix Shipkevich, and Fotis Georgiadis
Tech companies need better oversight. There needs to be better oversight, transparent and reasonable oversight over the tech companies in the crypto space. There are many people who are not familiar with the space, and easily taken advantage of. Without rules and oversight, ethics can be breached more easily.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Felix Shipkevich. Felix is a Principal of Shipkevich PLLC, a global law firm specializing in legal and regulatory matters within the digital currency and fintech industries. Having worked in the space since 2010, Shipkevich provides strategic legal counsel to corporate groups with cryptocurrency concerns, crypto exchanges, dealers that want to do business in the United States and globally, and for financial services companies that want to offer and accept crypto. With over 16 years of experience as an attorney in New York City, as founder of a legaltech startup, and as a Special Professor of Law at Hofstra Law School, Shipkevich has a successful history solving complex problems and helping clients navigate favorably through today’s complicated legal and regulatory environments.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit more. Can you tell us about your work and your company?
I have always had a passion for law and justice. After law school, I worked for nearly a decade at large Wall Street companies, where I became exposed to legal and regulatory problems and opportunities in an evolving landscape of financial services. I founded Shipkevich PLLC in 2011, and over the past eight years, it has grown to become a leading provider of legal services for digital currency, fintech, regtech and business law. We handle transaction and litigation matters, and advise clients to provide solutions for their business concerns. Cryptocurrency is arguably one of the first financial instruments that can provide significant benefit and resources to underbanked individuals in developing countries as well as developed countries. We are proud to work with clients doing meaningful work in the cryptocurrency space, as its promise — for economic prosperity, efficiency and access — is incredible.
Can you tell us the story of how you got first involved with the Regtech or Crypto markets?
I’ve been involved in the RegTech and foreign exchange markets as a general counsel for global foreign exchange brokers since 2006. The first time I became involved in Bitcoin related matters was in 2010, a year after Bitcoin was created. I have worked in the space for nine years. I’m proud to be one of the first commodities and foreign exchange lawyers to get involved in the worlds of regtech and crypto.
Can you share 5 things that should be done to help stabilize the Crypto Economy?
There needs to be international regulatory harmony. For regulators to create harmonious and reasonable rules that work, they need to work in their own jurisdictions and cross borders as well.
There needs to be more clarity on crypto pricing and execution rates. This is an “over the counter” product and there is no central clearing party. There is still a lot of ambiguity on execution rates. Because it’s not under exchange pricing, there is little transparency on the rates. You might get priced out at a rate that is not competitive.
Tech companies need better oversight. There needs to be better oversight, transparent and reasonable oversight over the tech companies in the crypto space. There are many people who are not familiar with the space, and easily taken advantage of. Without rules and oversight, ethics can be breached more easily.
There needs to be harmonious efforts from RegTech on customer disclosure. Many people are buying for prospective reasons. They do not fully understand the risks involved in trading crypto. Most of the people who trade it don’t use them as payment instruments. They are buying it on spec to take advantage of its volatility, or price fluctuation, whether it’s bitcash, litecoin, most are buying it in the hopes it appreciates in value. Because cryptocurrencies for the most part are decentralized instruments, there is no central clearing counterpart, and people need to understand risks. There needs to be a harmonious international effort to disclose these risks.
There needs to be reasonable global regulation. Without it, the situation creates regulatory arbitration. Because the space itself is fairly new, groups will regularly pick and choose different jurisdictions in which to operate. They will keep leapfrogging from one place to another, to circumvent the most rigorous jurisdictions. Creating more opportunities and fair regulation in one’s own jurisdiction, instead of inducing companies to leave to move their business to another, is the best way toward long-term success.
In your experience, what are the top strategies that crypto firms should be considering in order to have a competitive edge?
Find a regulatory environment that is regulated and reasonable. In recent years, countries like Bermuda, Malta and Switzerland have become hubs for crypto exchanges and crypto firms. There is still significant lack of clarity in the US, which discourages companies from doing business in the US. We have many state and federal regulations, and it gets very complicated: there’s the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), FinCEN, and different state laws as well. Most countries have just one roadblock, we have in some cases a dozen.
Secure great talent. Talent is the key to success with any business. For emerging crypto firms, I would ask: where can you find the talent to recruit? Cryptocurrency and fintech offerings are global products and services, so having multilingual professionals can help significantly. You want talent to have the technical knowledge, but also the ability to connect meaningfully with clients from around the world.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”?
“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” -Sun Tzu. Working in the global financial services space, one always needs to be at the top of their game, because with so many variables, outcomes can be hard to control. I believe in finding opportunity and advantage in any situation. Achieving top results for clients is our number one priority, so finding that opportunity in chaos is a big part of my job.
My bipolar/autistic son who refuses to be a victim and refuses to give up. He continually searches for ways to improve himself and his life. He would never let me claim disability for him as he never saw himself as disabled. He comes to me every week with his successes and his ideas for improvement. I have never met anyone who refused to give in the way he absolutely refuses to let anything get in his way.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Tom Wheelwright . Tom Wheelwright, CPA is the visionary behind WealthAbility®, the Best-Selling Author of “Tax-Free Wealth” (Rich Dad Advisors Series), a leading expert on tax law, partnerships and corporation tax strategies, and a well-known wealth education innovator who speaks around the world to thousands of entrepreneurs, business owners and investors. His goal is to help people achieve their financial dreams faster by permanently and legally reducing their taxes (everyone’s biggest expense), make a difference in the world, and leave a positive legacy for everyone.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
My 40+ year career has included being an entrepreneur, educator, business leader and global tax and wealth expert. After earning a BA in Accounting from the University of Utah, and a Master of Professional Accounting from the University of Texas, Austin, I worked for Big 4 Accounting firms. During the last major tax reform in 1986, I worked for Ernst and Young’s National Tax Office in Washington D.C., where I managed and led professional training. I also was an Adjunct Professor in the Masters in Tax Program for Arizona State University for 14 years where I was asked to create a new class on multi-state tax planning.
In 1995,I took a leap of faith and started my first accounting firm with only two clients and confidence that if other people could build successful accounting firms, so could l. After the first 9 months, I had built up $40k in credit card debt and had only 4 clients. I was 100% dedicated to building my own business. With encouragement (and a loan) from a mentor, I purchased a small tax practice. 25 years later, I’ve purchased, built and sold 4 accounting practices, started 4 new businesses, published the bestseller “Tax-Free Wealth: How to Build Massive Wealth by Permanently Lowering Your Taxes” (updated for the new tax law in 2018), and contributed to “Why the Rich Are Getting Richer” (2017) and “More Important Than Money” (2017). As a global speaker, I’ve spoken to over 100k entrepreneurs, small business owners, investors and CPAs on six continents. In 2018, I started my most recent company WealthAbility® with the mission to help people “make way more money, pay way less tax, and achieve financial dreams faster.” I currently own 4 companies, work with high-end 8 and 9-figure clients, and teach financial education programs to help people achieve their financial dreams faster.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
After purchasing my first accounting firm, my business grew very quickly. I soon had more work than I could handle. I brought in a partner, one of my close friends with whom I had worked at the Big 4 accounting firms. When we got together, we decided on a buy-in formula for him. There was one piece of work into which he didn’t want to buy. This was some contingent-fee work I was doing for a big client. I agreed that he didn’t have to buy in and I didn’t have to share the fees should they ever materialize.
Four years later, a big check came in on the contingent fee work. I immediately withdrew it from the company, as this was our agreement. Two weeks later my partner came into my office and accused me of stealing and being “the most dishonest person” he had ever met. I had no idea what he was talking about and told him so. He explained that I had “stolen” $50,000 from the company. I reminded him that in our original agreement, he had declined buying in to this part of the business and had agreed that this would be my money. Rather than apologize, he stormed out of my office.
I immediately decided that this partnership was not going to work. I couldn’t have a partner who would accuse me of stealing instead of asking me what had happened when he didn’t understand my actions. We broke up the partnership, with some clients going with him and some staying with me. Interestingly, all of the staff stayed with me. Several of them came to me and told me that he had treated them poorly. One, our receptionist, told me that she went home crying every night because of his abuse.
What I learned was that I had not been paying close enough attention to my partner and how he was working with the staff and others. This despite being told by a friend that she would not bring her business to us if she ever had to see my partner, he had been so rude to her in a business dealing. We are often blind to the actions of those we love. Other people are afraid to tell us what we should know because they don’t want to offend us or think we would never believe them. And I should have explained to my partner why I was taking the money out of the business rather than assuming he remembered our deal. Communication and transparency are a key to good business.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
What makes WealthAbility really stand out is that we believe everyone can reach their dreams. There is a process to creating the wealth needed to reach those dreams. Following that process, which includes a plan of action for building wealth and reducing/eliminating taxes, you can have the time and money to do anything you want.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I am most grateful to Robert Kiyosaki, who has been a mentor, client and supporter. I met Robert when I broke up with my early partner. Since all of my staff had stayed with me, I had more staff than work. My new partner and I (one of our managers who, 18 years later, is still my partner) decided we needed to acquire another accounting firm. I received a postcard in the mail from a broker who said they had an accounting firm for sale in Arizona. I called, we met the seller and acquired the practice. It turned out, Robert and his Rich Dad company was a client. We started serving Robert and Kim (his wife) and attending the Rich Dad events. Soon, Robert had me on stage speaking to thousands of people.
Robert has taught me how to control a room of thousands from stage and how to simplify our message. He continually pushes me to get better, sometimes in front of thousands of investors. He never holds back because he truly believes in his mission to elevate the financial well-being of humanity and believes I can contribute to his mission. He certainly has contributed to our mission. I am eternally grateful for his relentless determination to make me a better speaker and educator.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
Resilience is just a matter of getting back on the horse after you have been thrown from it. It’s not letting failure turn you into a victim. As the youngest of six children, I have never liked being told what to do. If someone says, “you can’t do that here” I say, “watch me.” Failure is just a lesson from which to learn. We always learn more from failure than from success. So relish your failures. I have lost my job when I was the sole provider for a wife and two small children. I have loss all of my wealth and built it back up. I have divorced a wife of 34 years because I couldn’t make it work. I have watched a bi-polar/autistic son as he struggled for life in an emergency room. And I have watched that same son get up again and again determined to succeed in life. I define resilience by my son. So get up, no matter how many times life gets you down.
When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?
My bipolar/autistic son who refuses to be a victim and refuses to give up. He continually searches for ways to improve himself and his life. He would never let me claim disability for him as he never saw himself as disabled. He comes to me every week with his successes and his ideas for improvement. I have never met anyone who refused to give in the way he absolutely refuses to let anything get in his way.
Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?
Two years ago, I approached the partners in my CPA firm at the time that I wanted to build a network of CPAs to revolutionize the CPA profession. I offered to have their firm be the first member. They laughed at me and asked why they should ever share what they know with their competitors. Since then, we have built a network of 25 accounting firms that is growing every day. They are not a member and never will be. Our WealthAbility Network will fundamentally transform how CPAs do business.
Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?
Divorcing my wife of 34 years was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She and I had been best friends for many years. I only left when it became clear to me that I could no longer exist in such a toxic environment. Only a few months later, I was talking to Louanne, one of my CPA friends who had also recently left her husband. Within a few months we were dating and two years later we were married. My life has completely changed as a result. My children are happier, including my bipolar/autistic son who is much healthier. I have grandchildren, the son and daughter of Louanne’s daughter. And my business has thrived. Our income has more than doubled in both my CPA firm and our education company. This is a result of my energy being open to success. Something I never could have done in a toxic relationship.
Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?
When I was a teenager, I had a very quick tongue. One day when I was a sophomore in high school, I was in the cafeteria and a bully was taunting me. I didn’t back down and gave him the full benefit of my quick tongue. He was much bigger than me and came up to me with his guys and threatened me, pushing me down on my knees. I was scared to death. One of the seniors, a head cheerleader and someone I had known for many years, came to my defense. He called off the bully and helped me up. I was forever grateful to that friend and determined that I would never again be bullied. I learned that sometimes we need help from others to be resilient. And sometimes we need to be the friend that helps another become resilient. This has fueled my desire to help people not be bullied by Wall Street and the IRS. I’m not physically imposing, but I can use my skills and my talents to lift others up.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
Step 1 — Fail Fast and Fail Often — Don’t be afraid of failure or making mistakes. I was an “A” student and making mistakes was not easy for me. Getting fired by Price Waterhouse after being a star at Ernst & Young was devastating. Since then, I have learned the value of failing and particularly of failing fast, so the mistakes aren’t so big.
Step 2 — Get Up — Don’t let others convince you that you are a victim. You are never the victim. You are the student. When we refuse to give in and always get back up, we build the muscle called resiliency. Resiliency will never develop unless we continually fight back and never give in.
Step 3 — Know Yourself — Discover who you are and what you are meant to be to the world. You have a singular mission. Most people never discover themselves or their mission. They allow others, teachers, family, companies, to dictate who they are and what they do. I did that for many years, hiding behind a spouse, or partners, or bosses. Over the last 15 years, thanks in large part to Robert and Kim Kiyosaki, I have spent much time developing myself and learning who I am and my own genius. Own Your Genius!
Step 4 — Build a Great Team — A team that is mission-driven will always be your greatest asset. A great team makes you more successful and in turn makes your team more successful. The more people you serve, the more effective you become. So continue building your team and upgrade whenever you can. Remember that you are the average of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time.
Step 5 — Keep Learning — Most people stop learning the day they leave school. Continuing education is a must for building resilience. Invest in your personal education every year to learn new skills and be prepared for change. The singular requirement for a CPA firm to become part of the WealthAbility Network is that they hunger to learn. They realize that the more they know, the more they realize they don’t know.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Our WealthAbility Network is a movement to transform the CPA profession, and to enable people to become the genius they were born to be. We are starting with CPA’s because they influence entrepreneurs who in turn influence the world. Entrepreneurs are dreamers who just need guidance to reach their dreams. I would like everyone to see their own genius and feel free to be who and what they want to be.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
Yes, I would love to have a private breakfast with Elon Musk. He is changing the way the world looks at energy, which drives all economic activity. And talk about resilience. From being bullied in South Africa to the brink of bankruptcy with SpaceX, he is the most resilient person I have every seen.
Social Impact Heroes: “How Givewith CEO Paul Polizzotto is enabling more businesses to create compelling social impact programs”
There’s a massive price tag on solving society’s most pressing challenges. In fact, achieving all 17 of the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals by 2030 will require an annual investment of $5-$7 trillion. Traditional philanthropy nor government spending alone will solve it. We need companies to play a bigger role in addressing these issues, and in order to do this, we need to create the right solutions that enable companies to contribute more and achieve their key business objectives, too.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Paul Polizzotto, Founder and CEO, Givewith. Over his 30-year career as a social entrepreneur, Paul has dedicated himself to developing, refining, and realizing the vision at the heart of Givewith: that by prioritizing social impact, businesses can deliver a sustainable source of funding for the critical work of nonprofits and differentiate themselves from the competition, driving sales, increasing profits and raising share prices. Paul proved his theory with EcoMedia, the company he founded in 2001 and sold to CBS in 2010. Under Paul’s leadership, EcoMedia directed more than $100 million in funding and resources to environmental, education and community health and wellness programs across the country, improving the quality of life for nearly 60 million people. By successfully differentiating CBS in the competitive, crowded advertising marketplace, EcoMedia’s social impact offering helped the media giant achieve enormous sales success. Paul launched Givewith in 2016, scaling his model far beyond the American media and advertising sectors. Givewith — a social impact technology platform that can be applied to any and every transaction between seller and buyer — unleashes the intrinsic power of commerce as an engine of world-wide social change. It’s a radical paradigm shift that’s transforming the way both business and philanthropy are done, but Paul has remained true to the core mission and principles that first motivated him to dip his toes into the waters of social entrepreneurship. That was in 1989 when, as an avid surfer distressed by the pollution plaguing his hometown waters — the Santa Monica Bay in Southern California — Paul pioneered technology to remove toxins from run-off before it entered the storm drain system and ultimately, the Bay. Paul has been honored with numerous recognitions for his work, including the Santa Monica Baykeeper’s and the Waterkeeper Alliance’s “Keeper Award” (2001); Coastal Living Magazine’s “Leadership Award” (2003); the US Conference of Mayors Award for Excellence in Public Private Partnerships (2009); back-to- back Edison Awards for Social Innovation and Social Impact (2012, 2013); the Starlight Children’s Foundation’s “General H. Norman Schwarzkopf Leadership Award” (2014); and Volunteers of America’s “Good Samaritan Award” (2018). He has been named an “Environmental Hero” by US EPA, a “Public-Private Visionary” by Vanity Fair magazine, and “Social Good Leader of the Year” by Cynopsis Media. A frequent guest lecturer at business schools across the country, Paul is a Senior Fellow at the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, where he was also an inaugural member of the Board of Advisors for the Brittingham Social Enterprise Lab.
Thank you so much for joining us, Paul! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
For the last 31 years, I’ve been a serial social entrepreneur focused on developing innovative social solutions to catalyze positive change. I kicked off my career in my hometown Manhattan Beach, California where — as an avid surfer — I was coming into direct contact with the pollutants that were plaguing the Santa Monica Bay. This led me to create technology that removed toxins from run-off before it entered the storm drain system and ultimately, the Bay.
From there, I founded EcoMedia, a social impact media company that proved a media owner could differentiate themselves by prioritizing social impact, businesses can deliver a sustainable source of funding for the critical work of nonprofits and differentiate themselves from the competition, drive sales, increase profits and positively influence share prices. We directed more than $100 million in funding and resources to environmental, education and community health and wellness programs across the country, improving the quality of life for more than 60 million people.
After successfully applying this concept to the world of advertising, I launched Givewith, a social impact technology company to amplify our impact by tapping into any business-to-business transaction. Today, we’re leveraging the fundamental act of buying and selling to generate new sources of funding for the world’s most effective nonprofits — all while helping companies generate unprecedented business value that delivers on the promise of social purpose.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
The launch of EcoMedia was a profound learning experience for me. After the launch of my first company, I saw how communities across the U.S. were coming together with nonprofits to execute large scale sustainable initiatives like solar projects, but all too often, they were still missing the full funding needed to fulfil these projects.
So originally, I started EcoMedia as a nonprofit. The idea was to win grants, help fill these funding gaps, and complete these projects. But as we started to win funding, I quickly realized we were taking grants from foundations that would otherwise go to other highly effective nonprofits. That’s when I sought to generate entirely new sources of funding that would expand their total funding without disrupting their existing funding opportunities. That’s how I made my transition into the media landscape, and from there, into the B2B marketplace.
Can you tell us about your “Big Idea That Might Change the World”?
At Givewith, we’re completely reinventing the way the world’s most pressing problems — from climate change, to world hunger, to social inequality — are solved by leveraging the activities that move money around the globe: the fundamental act of buying or selling goods or services that are aligned with our corporate values. We’re doing this by helping companies connect the dots and actually derive new, cross-company business value by carrying out positive social impacts.
By enabling businesses to easily embed compelling social impact programs into any of their business-to-business transactions, we’re helping companies achieve their corporate social and sustainability commitments while generating unprecedented business value for their internal and external stakeholders. Ultimately, we’re transforming commerce into an engine for positive social change.
How do you think this will change the world?
We’re changing the world by changing ‘business as usual’. Givewith is breaking the notion that social impact and commercial success are mutually exclusive. In addition to funding the world’s most effective nonprofits, we’re simultaneously generating value that benefits the entire organization and ultimately — helps boost its bottom line and positively influence share prices.
To give you an example, social impact initiatives can help marketing and communication teams share the story of the company’s impact to boost customer sentiment and loyalty. Likewise, it can serve as a valuable asset for human resources by helping them boost employee morale, retention rates and recruiting efforts. In addition, social impact can be shared with key Environmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) rating and reporting agencies to boost sustainability scores and increase investor interest.
There’s a massive price tag on solving society’s most pressing challenges. In fact, achieving all 17 of the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals by 2030 will require an annual investment of $5-$7 trillion. Traditional philanthropy nor government spending alone will solve it. We need companies to play a bigger role in addressing these issues, and in order to do this, we need to create the right solutions that enable companies to contribute more and achieve their key business objectives, too.
Keeping “Black Mirror” and the “Law of Unintended Consequences” in mind, can you see any potential drawbacks about this idea that people should think more deeply about?
Despite the growing narrative around technology as a negative force, I believe technology itself is neither good nor evil by nature — it’s all about its application, which is why Givewith is committed to using technology to direct more resources to the underserved groups and helping communities in need.
Amid the rising concerns of data misuse, surveillance technology, hyper-connectivity, and other issues frequently covered in the press, it’s not surprising to see the rise in skepticism when it comes to technology. The same goes for business and the cynicism around whether or not companies are actually making progress towards their corporate commitments and lofty aspirations. That’s why it’s vital for companies to ‘walk the talk’ when it comes to driving positive social change by driving authentic social and sustainability projects that are both tangible and measurable.
Was there a “tipping point” that led you to this idea? Can you tell us that story?
My “tipping point” was when I realized that the model that we successfully implemented at EcoMedia could be applied much more broadly to drastically scale the amount in funding that we could generate for nonprofits. Moving to Givewith, we transitioned from representing one seller in one industry to all sellers in all industries — from one-to-one, to all-to-all. Advertising is a market of hundreds of billions of dollars, but by moving into the B2B space, we’re tapping into a marketplace of many of trillions of dollars. This has huge implications on our business, which in turn, can drastically increase the total funding we generate for our nonprofit partners.
What do you need to lead this idea to widespread adoption?
As with any truly new business model, it takes time for the market to understand and adopt truly original ideas, even if they are materially beneficial to their company. As we continue to dispel the notion that doing good comes with a cost, we need to also raise our visibility and begin to partner with the world’s largest, most-forward looking companies that are also dedicated to propelling social good. That’s why we’ve decided to partner with SAP Ariba, the world’s largest business-to-business network where nearly $3 trillion flows in commerce annually. By integrating our platform with SAP Ariba, we’re enabling millions of buyers and suppliers in the Ariba Network to add social impact programs directly into their sourcing and procurement process to not only generate new funding for the world’s most effective nonprofits, but to also create unprecedented business value that benefits their entire organization.
This is an enormous opportunity for Givewith to scale our solutions, so that the nonprofits in our network can scale their impact. What’s remarkable about this is that if just 8% of the nearly $3 trillion worth of transactions that are processed through the Ariba Network annually use Givewith, this would generate over $3 billion in new funding for the nonprofits taking on the most pressing issues of our time. It’s hard to overstate the gravity of how meaningful this partnership are for our success.
The future of work is a common theme. What can one do to “future proof” their career?
The future of work is being driven by digitization and the emergence of disruptive technologies. As technology and business continue to quickly evolve, so should employees. Intrinsic curiosity is key — employees need to consistently seek new possibilities and opportunities to generate new value for their teams, their companies, and the world more broadly. We need everyone to adopt a mindset centered around lifelong learning and continuous improvement.
Based on the future trends in your industry, if you had a million dollars, what would you invest in?
As a social entrepreneur, not only am I focused on generating new funding for nonprofits, but I’m also identifying how to maximize the impact of the funding generated to support the nonprofits and their critical endeavors. In addition to mission-critical investments to enhance our operations and scale our solutions, we’re also always looking at how to maximize the funding dollars we generate for nonprofits.
That’s why — in partnership with Social Finance, the creator of the Social Impact Bond — we developed a proprietary Impact Multiplier to showcase the additional value of a particular social impact program. This calculation uses a program’s own data and research, bolstered by external research and evidence of impact, to show that program’s ability to create value for both the beneficiary and society, and mobilize additional funding and support. This, coupled with our comprehensive vetting process, ensures that each funding dollar generated through Givewith is maximized to the greatest extent.
Which principles or philosophies have guided your life? Your career?
It’s heartening to see the recent rise in research focused on how doing good is good for business, from Deloitte’s 2020 Purpose Report, to SAP Ariba’s Sustainability Study, there’s a steady rise in empirical research that draws the correlation between doing good and enduring commercial success. From the very beginning of my career, I’ve guided each of my businesses by the philosophy that by prioritizing social impact, businesses can deliver a sustainable source of funding for the critical work of nonprofits and differentiate themselves from the competition, driving sales, increasing profits and positively influencing share prices.
Some very well-known VCs read this column. If you had 60 seconds to make a pitch to a VC, what would you say?
Givewith isn’t philanthropy, nor is it charity. We’re leveraging the power of buying or selling as an agent for social change — not only to generate new sources of funding for the world’s most effective nonprofits, but to also drive unpreceded business value that helps advance the company’s key KPIs. With Givewith, social impact doesn’t come at the cost of financial outcomes, it actually improves your performance by driving tangible, measurable business value.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
You can follow me on LinkedIn and on Twitter at @PaulPolizzotto. If you want to stay up-to-date on everything happening at Givewith, you can follow us on LinkedIn, Facebook, as well as on Instagram or Twitter at @Givewith.
I grew up in a country that told me I had no voice because of my gender. I moved to the Land of The Free to be whispered this very same sentiment discretely.
In this interview series, we are exploring the subject of resilience among successful business leaders. Resilience is one characteristic that many successful leaders share in common, and in many cases it is the most important trait necessary to survive and thrive in today’s complex market. I had the pleasure of interviewing Sahar Paz. Sahar Paz didn’t grow up playing house, she played office. At the age of 13, she launched a baby and pet sitting company generating more cash flow than all the lemonade stands in the neighborhood! A natural leader with an active left-and-right brain, Sahar was 25 years old in New York City with a lucrative career in Finance and bored out of her mind. Inspired to share what she learned in the business, she pivoted and dedicated herself to feeding the entrepreneurial voice of teenagers by founding Free Your Star Foundation. The nonprofit partnered with low-income high schools in Brooklyn with credit-earning programs written by Sahar herself. Championing the voice of others to help them understand their emotional intelligence and their personal drivers has always been Sahar’s mission. Her book, Find Your Voice part-memoir, part cognitive behavior guide, epitomizes that pursuit. Published in 2014, her message gained attention within forward-thinking organizations such as HBO, Facebook, Whole Foods, and the Texas Medical Center, where Sahar was invited to deliver keynote presentations. After five years on the road, Sahar became the CEO of Own Your Voice Strategy Firm, a personal branding agency that focuses on placing professionals on stages to speak. Today, she resides in Houston and has given up pet sitting to play with her dog Rico instead. You can find Sahar on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @SaharPaz.
Thank you so much for joining us, Sahar! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
By the time I was 7 years old, I had witnessed my entire existence shift for the worst, a direct reflection of how influential the voice of leadership can be felt on a grassroots level. Before I could articulate my first word, the revolution had already decided that I would have no voice. This left an impression on me, I understood the value of freedom and the power of our voices. As refugees of war, my family relocated to Denver, Colorado in the mid-’80s, as we settled in I bought Wham and Michael Jackson cassette tapes and found a few friends that weren’t turned off by my funny hair and accent. Growing up, I didn’t play house like a lot of the other girls, I played office. I started my first business at the age of 13 a baby and pet sitting company that brought in more cash than all the lawn mowin’ boys on the bock. I’ve worked for myself in some manner or another ever since then. My repertoire of businesses includes an accessories line (while I was holding a position in finance), a non-profit, a book titled “Find Your Voice,” and a speaking tour that took me to the offices of HBO, Facebook, and Whole Foods. Today, I’m the CEO of Own Your Voice Strategy Firm, a personal branding agency that scales your voice for social impact.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
History states that the Zainab Salbi should be my enemy, after all, it was the war between her country and mine that changed so much of my childhood. But that’s not how THIS story goes, she is the woman that took the time to read an email from a perfect stranger, and lent her voice and a tweet in support of my book: Find Your Voice. This tweet was read by Chantal Pierrat, the founder of Emerging Women and that is when my first big speaking break came to be. At that conference, I was listed among speakers that included Brene Brown and Jane Goodall. An email led to a tweet that opened the door for me to launch my speaking business. I’ve adopted a second core value: to never forget where I came from. I am fortunate to now be in the place where I can extend a hand and lend my voice for another up and coming Voice of Impact.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
It’s rare to find a firm that focuses just on personal branding. It’s usually a side hustle versus the main focus. We are also working towards our B-corp status, which means we keep that third bottom line in our awareness as we build the company and personal brand. We believe that scaling the voice of conscious leaders will make a social impact. We are a business with purpose.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful to who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
The journey would have never started if there wasn’t an honest reflection of my power thanks to my dear friend Marisa. Everyone needs a compassionate voice that holds you accountable to your greatness.
This experience has been made sustainable because of my mother and brother’s ability to respect my vision. The sacrificed time. The invested money. They help me keep the engine going when I wanted to give up. Now, we all enjoy the fruits of my hard work and their faith by being able to spend time together remotely and in bulk.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
Sturdy. When your emotions are high, your intelligence stays high.
This is key when it comes to my personal relationship with resilience.
The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties has so much to do with the initial moment it happens. It is at this moment when you decide if you will drain yourself by taking the challenge in front of you and begin to process it through a negative lens or hold steady and show how sturdy you can be.
Resilient leaders…
…Take accountability.
… Don’t take things personally.
… Are inspired by their challenges.
When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?
Shirley Chisholm is my shero. She graduated from Columbia University in 1952, where I imagine she was one of very few African Americans on campus. She got into politics after that, winning by a landslide victory in 1964 and by 1968 she is the first African American woman elected to the United States Congress, a position she held for 14 years. In 1972 she is the first black woman to seek a major party nomination for President — she won a federal court order to participate in a televised debate. When she was asked about it, she responded: “I ran because somebody had to do it first. I ran because the country was not ready for a black candidate, a woman candidate. Someday. It was time in 1972 to make that someday come.”
Shirley Chisholm’s resilience represents to me the value of leaving the world better than you found it. I have no doubt that she dealt with challenges and uncomfortable situations regularly, probably on a daily basis. She stayed sturdy to her cause, she understood the greater good she was wanting to impact were enough reason to brush herself off and try again.
Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?
I grew up in a country that told me I had no voice because of my gender.
I moved to the Land of The Free to be whispered this very same sentiment discretely.
I won’t pinpoint one person because there were a handful of remarks that repeated in my early adulthood that made sure I kept my “ambitions” in check, and ultimately it was me that told me it was impossible, especially when it came to writing “Find Your Voice” and finding a publisher that would get behind it. I worked through that fear methodically for three years, putting myself out there by speaking and sending proposals — it was uncomfortable and often I would get no response — I would retreat, then come at it again.
I was sturdy. I was resilient.
I stopped taking things seriously.
On July 29th, 2012 I landed my publishing deal, and in April of 2014, I had a copy of my first book in my hands.
Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?
In 2016 after the book had launched and I had been on the road speaking for 2 years, my online course was set to launch. The launch was Facebook-focused and it was during the 2016 elections, we didn’t gain much steam and it ultimately made me step back from the Find Your Voice movement for 16 months, as I figured how to pivot my existing brand into another kind of profitable business. I knew there was more there.
I stepped back from my entrepreneurship role for the first time in more than a decade to recalibrate. And, it was the best decision I had ever made. I came back onto the business scene as the CEO of Own Your Voice and launched with a one day summit, putting on the stage voices of impact that spanned from Emmy Award-winning filmmakers to a woman who raised $9M on her own, by simply using her voice. Without the failure of my course, the opportunity to pull back and realign by business with my matured goals, I would not have the opportunity I have today to blend my calling (your voice) with my lane of genius (personal branding).
Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?
Having to abandon my comfort zone and identity in my formative years has attributed to my ability to being resilient 100%.
In first and second grade I had to get used to my friends being there one day, but then not the next, especially after a heavy night of bombings. In high school when my friend was randomly killed, I learned how resilient this made me in these delicate times.
I had to raise myself as my single mom put herself back to school when we moved to a new country. Now, when I experience failure or challenge, I know how to nurture my resilience by exercising a blend of compassion and discipline.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
Acknowledge: pay respect to the challenge at hand. Acknowledge it sucks.
Accountability: the responsibility to pick yourself back up is up to you.
Curios: Choose the lens of curiosity over negativity and judgment
Action: Don’t let fear bring you to analysis paralysis
Recognize: Be intentional with recognizing your resiliency.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
There were a lot of rookie mistakes and emotional costs I could have avoided with the right mentor in my life. The reason I’ve gotten into personal branding is that I believe it is a virtual mentorship. Imagine if every professional had one article dedicated to someone following in their footsteps. One nugget of wisdom is all it takes to give another resilient leader in the making the mojo they need to get to the next step.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
My virtual mentor, a woman I deeply admire and champion from afar, Aimee Woodall, founder of Black Sheep Agency. She is the first woman who revealed to me what a Benefit Corporation is, and how you can be a business with purpose. She is an amazing human being making a social impact!
How can our readers follow you on social media?
I’m on all the platforms under @SaharPaz
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!
Stop avoiding what you fear. Unless we are talking physical danger, go toward what you fear. Stop strategizing ways around it, and say okay I am going to feel the feelings I fear having by going toward what I fear Yes, it really is your fear of how you will feel rather than the circumstances.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Tracy Crossley. Tracy is a Behavioral Relationship Expert and Podcast Host, who specializes in treating individuals with unhealthy dating and relationship patterns. Tracy treats clients dealing with a wide range of behavioral issues such as insecure attachment, harmful belief systems, breaking the cycle of narcissistic damage, destructive self-talk, and more. With a background in psychology, an innate emotional intuition, and drawing from her own personal experience, Tracy helps her clients break the patterns that keep them trapped in the repetition of unhealthy singlehood and relationships. Through emotionally-driven techniques, Tracy is able to zero in on clients’ obstacles in order to shift their way of seeing themselves and help them drop the emotional armor to kick anxiety and pain to the curb. The work she does leads to clients to self-acceptance, emotional freedom and the ability to authentically connect with themselves and others. Tracy offers workshops specific to these topics, as well as intensive 10-week boot camps meant to help folks with a dysfunctional relationships, “yo-yo” daters, men and women having trouble moving on from past relationships, leapfrogging from relationship to relationship, bread-crumbing, gaslighting and more. In addition to her mentoring services, Tracy offers her successful digital coaching program called “The 30-Day Emotional Cleanse” where clients can start taking the steps to rid whatever roadblocks keep them from having healthy relationships. Tracy’s popular mental health podcast, Deal With It! offers listeners a different perspective when it comes to breaking the cycle of unhealthy behaviors. The podcast addresses folks who want to deal with their emotional baggage and it helps them to get unstuck from thinking and to start feeling, gain personal responsibility and really learn to love themselves. All of it is geared toward developing a healthy relationship with oneself and the rest of the world. Deal With It! touches on releasing insecure attachment, breaking through unhealthy beliefs and patterns, resulting in acceptance, self-trust and empowerment of one’s authentic self; all things necessary for a happy and healthy relationship. Tracy discusses sensitive subjects using her own experiences coupled with a lot of laughs and even more empathy.
Thank you so much for joining us, Tracy! Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
I was an entrepreneur from a young age selling popcorn balls to my neighbors. As an adult, I would go from owning my own businesses followed by years working in corporate America. I became a single parent when my kids were young and during that time I would struggle with my happiness with work, myself and of course, dating and relationships.
Almost 12 years ago, I was laid off from my six-figure job. It was the start of the recession and I could not find anything to pay me consistently. It was ugly. And so was my love life. I mean I was always the person on the outside who looked like she had her s**t together, but on the inside, I was a mess. And being in this position had me feeling like I had been found out. I was really the worthless person I had always been running from. I spent a lot of time walking for miles, reading self-help books and trying to fit a square peg of a relationship into a round hole. I had anxiety all the time, if it was not about the money, it was about the guy or being alone or how I was doing as a parent. One of the books I read was “The Wishing Year,” the author mentioned several other books in her book, one, in particular, was “Calling In The One,” it was totally up my alley with my wreck of a love life. It was the start of me catching a clue about what was driving me to one bad relationship after another or from my long bouts of being alone.
The current dating situation was similar to a yo-yo, back and forth, disappearing and reappearing, interest in moving forward and finally falling off the face of the earth, but that just left me pining for something that could never be. This was a pattern for me. I thought I would just call in my soulmate with this book, but I did not. Instead, I pulled in another similar dating situation. My biggest fear was ending up alone, and lonely, as though I was missing out on what I believed others had.
In an effort to “resolve” the situation, I booked an appointment with the book’s author. I was basically broke, but somehow I scraped together $300 to have a session with her. I was hoping she could save me from myself.
While I was at her office, I met her business partner, who needed some marketing and business development work for one of their programs. I jumped in because I loved the work they were doing and it gave me something positive to focus on as I looked for a job. It was also a huge signpost for how I didn’t value myself because I did the work for free; I felt they were doing me a favor.
Fast forward about a couple of months later and I was invited to train as a coach for them. My response was, “Thank you, but no thank you.” I had no interest in sitting through days of training because I had had a ton of anxiety about my current dysfunctional relationship which gave me self-diagnosed ADD not to mention I could not imagine how I was going to make money as a coach. Eventually, after a lot of prodding, I agreed to do it. That is how I literally became a coach. I was still a hot mess with my dating life, and here I was a love coach coaching others on something I had no clue about. I was good at it, even on days when I felt the bottom falling out emotionally, as I struggled to seem “sane” during some of those early sessions.
I learned through the work I did with others, a lot of studying and enlisting other teachers that I was an anxious-avoidant. Meaning I was insecurely attached. I could see it from my early dating life through all my relationships. It had me by the toes, I was either running away from relationships or clinging hard to someone who was not all that interested. I should also mention when I began coaching, I was losing everything that I felt counted, including my house and my wonderfully avoidant, delusional relationship, but when I was coaching those people for an hour a week, I was in focus. I was right there with them.
In essence, my career was a choice I did not put much thought into, it sort of found me and I went with it. I was told I was a natural, which helped with my confidence in the beginning. I struggled through my first few years of coaching and around that time I had an epiphany about myself. I realized I was completely cut off from my emotions. I had this discovery when the relationship I lost started to reanimate itself from dead to living. I was irritated because I realized no matter if this person was in my life or he was gone, I felt the same. I felt stuck, held captive by something I thought was supernatural love, as though he was my soulmate. I could not figure out how to get him out of my system. And it was that moment on the street when I realized it was me as much as it was him, and my own emotional unavailability. This caused me to do a deep dive into changing myself so I could experience something I never had emotional freedom and happiness. I decided I would not break it off with this guy unless I had emotional clarity and resolution. That was hard, because I did not like how I was treated or much of it but I also felt like I was handcuffed to it and so I dug deep, learned a lot about myself and worked my rear end off to get to healthy, happy and functional.
I brought what I learned to my coaching. I knew when people showed up in that anxiety either over a recent break up with someone they were still hooked on or they were in a yo-yo situation like me or had been single for years that I could help them, because I had helped myself. This was the coolest thing because I had believed I was the only one. Many found me from the articles I wrote about my experiences and later they found me from my podcast where I share it all. I think one of the most alluring things about my work for the people who come is that I give a different answer to what is the cure than what they have heard. Many have heard they need to find a secure mate and that would help, but most people like me who run the gamut of anxious and avoidant could not just enter into a relationship like that. And I help them get there like I helped me get there.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Hmmm…this is hard to answer. I find my line of work interesting all the time. People are inspiring and I attract people who want to change themselves. So….a story? I think because I always felt like I was in a tribe of one, and so the fact that other people related to me and what I put out there it was surprising! I remember when I first pressed the “return” button to submit my very personal stories to elephant journal that I really did not believe I would impact other people. I felt like no one would resonate and then it blew me away to start hearing from people who suffered from many of the same issues. I have found the most interesting thing to be my own personal growth from the work I do. I take everything I say/do and have applied it or reapplied it to my life, I talk it and walk it, I believe it keeps my work refreshing and also keeps me coming up with new insights to share. If you would have asked me 20 years ago if this is how I pictured my life in any capacity, I would not have known how good things could be on the inside.
Can you share a story about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson or take away you learned from -that?
This is a funny question for me to answer, since in the beginning of this career — I was so serious. I had been in the process of losing it all, so I was in the process of trying to hold onto every little bit. And so the mistakes I made were probably along the lines of not finding it funny but feeling I could lose it all. Looking back I see many mistakes, like just working with anyone without actually seeing if they were willing to do the work. I learned to be aware about that. A funny thing that happened this year was when I interviewed someone for my videocast and did the whole interview without recording it. Thankfully, the other person and I laughed a lot and she was willing to redo the whole interview. The second go-round was a lot better than the first. I used to believe you had to catch it the first time or it would be too rehearsed, but I actually find it’s better to not be stuck on an outcome. Just go with the flow.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I currently have a book being shopped to publishers by my literary agent, which is exciting. I also am pretty darn excited about my Kick Ass Bootcamp meant for those who have the same issues I had. And as far as working on a new project; I am developing a coaching hotline. It is meant to help more people who cannot afford the cost of some of my other programs. I hear from people daily who are stuck and looking for tools on how to get out; my goal is to help anyone and everyone to get out of feeling alone in their dysfunctional dating/relationship life and see that they can get to the other side. The side of being self-responsible, not as though they are a victim of life circumstances, but that they are empowered to change how they feel and what they do. It is possible and this hotline will help people to discover what real happiness is, along with true connection and really trusting themselves to choose well — the goal is they lead the lives they always wanted. A lot of times we cannot see ourselves very well and having this kind of help is a game-changer.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
First, as someone who was lonely most of her life, it is something that I was able to help myself out of through my own deep dive inside. I had to see how the things I was doing were keeping me feeling alone, and at times totally cut off and lonely. It also served as protection; as a way of dealing with uncomfortable emotions. I felt misunderstood and when you feel misunderstood by many, you feel you don’t fit and when you feel you do not fit, you feel pretty damn lonely. Not to mention for me it was my love life or lack of one that had me lonely. When I was married the first time, I used to half-jokingly say that I was married to myself, because it felt like I was alone in my marriage. Reaching further back to being a teenager who felt she did not fit in, even with friends I found that I was lonely at times because I did not have many who really got me. But hey, I didn’t get me. I feel now with everything being online and human beings being social creatures that we miss the face time. I mean real face time. Back when I was single, I could get caught up in social media, but the minute I was done I had a sinking feeling as though the fun I had just seeped right out of me. It was a little different when I was with people. I did not feel the same sinking feeling afterwards, but I did always feel a disconnect, mainly stemming from my inability to be honest with myself. I felt I always had to rescue others or play a part to be liked. This was my own perspective, but in playing a part it is deeply lonely and interaction is not a deep connection when you have a facade. If you would have asked me back then if I was authentic, I would have said Hell yes! But in reality, I was not. Another thing when I would have text conversations with people I met online (and had not met in person) I would feel depleted, and even more lonely when I was done talking to them. It felt like something was missing, so I stopped having long texting conversations with men until I met them..and even then I tried not to have long conversations through text.
I have helped many people learn to connect to themselves which feels healthy and happy. When they stop fearing and already be in a state of suffering about what the future could be, aka I am alone (will end up alone) things change, but it is not as simple as not thinking a thought. If it were that easy everyone would be out of their loneliness of a future that hasn’t happened yet. I help people to learn to not fear their emotions, to get into the present moment’s feelings, and allow themselves experiences outside their norm. It takes courage, but courage is a moment in time, suffering is days, months and years. I have guided hundreds if not thousands of people to become engaged with life at a different level. They stop second guessing themselves to fit in, they stop working at being someone else, they start really valuing and loving themselves, they learn to be empowered. It is not the control they have over life but the control they get from true connection to their emotional state which in turn starts to break down old beliefs and patterns. As Thich Nhat Hanh says: People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. A familiar zone of suffering is the loneliest place to live, I know, it was my old home.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
I tend to see the correlation between loneliness and people who are insecurely attached to be symbiotic. People who are insecurely attached are very lonely. In this study, it shows the higher risk for hypertension amongst people from 18–80. In two other studies, one shows the resilience students have when it comes to loneliness and the other with the elderly, and insecure attachment and loneliness.
The biggest issue isolating yourself creates are depression and anxiety. Equal partners in loneliness. When you are depressed it creates a sense of inertia, things feel too hard, especially interacting with other people or trying new physical activities. Anxiety brings the fear to a whole new level. You avoid a certain level of physical and emotional connection like a hot stove. We develop our beliefs about the world as children and as we go with unchecked beliefs we have experiences which appear to make these beliefs true. The more “negative” an experience, the more we withdraw from the possibility of having it in the future. It’s depressing and anxiety-provoking, so our world gets smaller and smaller. When you start to avoid, you continue avoiding unless there is some intervention. To do anything to change your circumstances feels like work, it can even feel impossible (it’s not). Instead of trying to make connections, you make excuses and you get further away from having nurturing relationships.
The second biggest issue is that you perpetuate the cycle of loneliness. If you are depressed and/or experiencing inertia, you start believing that even if you go to the gym or agree to a date or to dinner with a friend that you will feel no better. It is a cycle that you are believing nothing will change no matter what you do, so why do anything different? You do/say/think/feel you will be stuck in this loneliness where no one will really know you or understand you, where no matter what you are doomed. . With technology it gives access 24/7 to a peek into the lives of others who seem to be living successfully and you think something is deeply wrong with you because you don’t really want to leave your house. It makes you start feeling there is something unchangeable — ”it’s just the way I am or its just the way life is” and like I said, that no effort you make will change the loneliness you feel.
The third biggest issue is fear. When you fear something you often create the circumstances you do not want. Many of us are stuck in repetitive patterns in how we see life, ourselves and the lack of feeling connected. We do not have enough self-awareness to get to where our lack of value inside is coming from (yes, this is key) and so we stay stuck in patterns that just exacerbate the loneliness. We tell ourselves the same stories over and over, we fear they may be true but feel helpless to change it. The fear comes from a negative belief we have and it works as a form of protection (at least that is what noble act fear believes it is doing). The fear keeps the stories alive that we ruminate in, it builds rules of I can/can’t, will/won’t, should/shouldn’t and so on, which promotes these auto-pilot patterns of behavior. The patterns give way to the evidence that our negative belief is true, “I am alone, and my loneliness is overwhelming, because no one has reached out to me …or it won’t make a difference if I go out and try to connect, the same thing will happen ‘nothing,’ so why bother.”
We live in a society that projects unrealistic expectations and when you do not feel you measure up, you tend to hide the real you. If you have any kind of self-esteem issues and you are wanting to hide it, you will feel incredibly lonely, even if you look incredibly successful. Looks are definitely not defining of the human experience or the way to know what is true.
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
It is harming our society in a few ways. First, unless we are having experiences with people offline we start to lose compassion. We find it harder to be compassionate with strangers online than we do with someone we have an actual relationship with. So, anyone who perhaps, thinks differently, looks differently, lives elsewhere basically has different beliefs than you do may be seen as the enemy or their humanness easily discarded. Secondly, it makes it a stigma in a sense, where people feel isolated and think not only is there something different about them, but that they are doomed to not connect. It can become toxic when someone gets to the bottom rung of the physical human intimacy ladder. They can disassociate from others to the degree that psychological and physical disorders show up. Third, human beings are physiologically wired to be connected (physically); we are social creatures like elephants, monkeys, dolphins and so on. We lived in communities for centuries, the old saying, “It takes a village,” meant the whole village was inter-connected. You had others you could rely on if something happened, you took care of one another in a sense. When you have this missing at an epidemic level, we are all bound to suffer.
Social media is an issue when it comes to people spewing anger and frustration that if they were standing next to the person they are shouting at in real life, it may not have the dehumanizing factor. The false bravado goes back to being under the surface. People do not take responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, instead they look for others’ who see things the same way no matter what the narrative. This keeps them in a false sense of connection, because again — there is a lack of connection to the self, nothing requiring a person to dig deeper to discover why they see things the way they do. In finding others to connect negatively, you may not be alone but you will still be lonely. The loneliness of the true self is ignored when connecting through an emotion such as anger, which is just a reaction to what you “think” is right or wrong, or how you have acted in ways that you wish you did not. Loneliness is not resolved when looking for others who share a prejudice. It is a disconnect, because at a deep level we have far more commonalities than differences with others. To discover that requires people to connect with others they may have deemed problematic and so on. Social media separates a lot of the time, but it can also work as a lead-in to bring people together. A unity from the authentic self, the true you makes a helluva lot of difference.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this?
How well do we get to know people who are separated by a piece of technology? We can like what is being said or what we are watching through the screen, but the human face to face interaction is missing and with that the ability to truly connect. It is a one-way connection even if you are having a conversation, you do not get to the depth of connection that you do by personally knowing someone or physical contact. It is missing. The other part which I mentioned before is most of us hide who we really are, we do not allow ourselves to be seen as flawed. We can be seen as anyone from afar, but up close it is harder to hide, so even if we feel safer with the technology between us — it is very lonely. We only want to let the bright shiny parts out for fear of being judged and when you stay away from showing your true self out of fear, you are disconnected. The internal disconnect is what is painful.
Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
Laziness. It is easier to believe that the world is an unfriendly or hard place, so we do not do the work inside of ourselves to change it. We blame the outside. We stay stuck with the same perception of the world and everyone in it, therefore our action or lack of action reflect it. An example, and I hear this a lot from clients and listeners to my podcast would be someone who is single and wants to date. But he or she is unwilling to do anything different to allow that to happen. They hope they run across someone in the produce section of the grocery store or while pumping gas. They refuse to put themselves out there elsewhere or as I like to say, open all the doors and windows to allow themselves the opportunity to meet someone. By being lazy, you have an excuse as to the reason you aren’t meeting a mate; you can complain, feel bad and stay stuck in believing no good men or women are out there. Laziness at its base is really fear standing in the way of any sort of “risk” you would take.
Believing emptiness should be filled by another person. Let’s say you threw a party over the holidays where 20 people came. You felt lonely and disconnected the whole time. The thought of interacting felt draining because that meant engaging in conversation and pretending to enjoy yourself. You watched others chit-chat and have a good time, which deepened the feeling of disconnection. You wondered why you couldn’t be happy and carefree like them. What’s wrong with you? Then you beat yourself up for not engaging, which made you feel even worse. You were checked-out because of an empty feeling inside, which you had hoped would be filled by people at your party. But instead you wanted more than anything to escape to your room and shut the door. Even though you were surrounded by people, you felt terribly alone.
False facade. Trying to be who you are not, because society demands it, perhaps you recoil more into yourself, because you feel you are deeply flawed. The fear of being found out. With people accusing people of all sorts of wrongs, (which are really just an opinion) and giving a list of the right way (again an opinion) to be or do things, it can leave a person feeling isolated. They present a facade to the world. Let’s say you are a sensitive person who dislikes the fact that you are sensitive and so you try to hide it by acting tough as teflon. The guy at work who tries to boss you around, because he seems to see right through your false facade makes you angry. And so you try to act tough, rather than just being honest. It leaves you feeling depressed and out of sorts, totally disconnected. You may feel everyone else at work doesn’t respect you or thinks you are lame in some way. You feel alone. Until you actually speak what is true for you and own it without blame, you will continue to feel victimized and as though you have to be this other person. When you speak up, others will look at you differently.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
Get off your computer, tv, video game and open yourself. We hide behind these things, so at the same time we are checked out — we are lonely. Look at why you distract yourself with these things instead of spending time being open, bonding with others. It may feel hard, but the more you do it the more engaged in life you feel.
Check your negative beliefs. Look at how you look at the world. Is there a negative voice in your head? If so, is it telling the truth? How do you know? When you pay attention as an observer to the thoughts, you can question them…is this true? How do I know it’s true? And if you actually believe a negative thought is true, dig deeper. What is the emotion attached to the thought? Keep getting deeper look at your story in your head, the rules which support it and the patterns you do/say and break them. This will weaken the belief in your head. When you break them you now can change how you see the world and your place in it. Loner? Now you may feel more receptive to others.
Stop avoiding what you fear. Unless we are talking physical danger, go toward what you fear. Stop strategizing ways around it, and say okay I am going to feel the feelings I fear having by going toward what I fear Yes, it really is your fear of how you will feel rather than the circumstances.
Drop the facade. Be real. Just be you. This is difficult when you have feared how others will perceive you. You need to ask yourself why it matters how people perceive you? Perhaps you feel you will be found out and no one will want to know you, because of that time in 5th grade. When you swore you would never reveal that part of you again. Bring that disowned part of you back. We bond with people when we are being real, when we let all sides of ourselves be seen. Otherwise there is no real bond, there is only an illusion. Allow yourself to love those parts which you don’t like, let others see it and get to know the real you. With you getting to know you and reconnecting and others getting to know you this is where loneliness disappears.
Stop blaming everything outside of you for your loneliness. Admit that you’re lonely, which is hard to do because you don’t want to take that responsibility. When you get stuck, keep coming back to admitting that loneliness is YOUR responsibility. Stop being angry with others who you do not know, stop looking at everything around you as an indicator to be a victim. When you take responsibility for yourself, your thoughts, your actions and so on, you change your dynamic with life. This is not easy to do, since we live in a society where apparently passing the blame has been the example from leadership on down. It is disempowering to wait for the world to wake up and do what you want, you will be waiting a long time. Instead, when you stop blaming and take responsibility for the choices which have placed you right here, you become a more accepting person. You accept you and therefore it is easier to accept others and who they are and what they do (it doesn’t mean you will want to hang out with everyone, but you can stop focusing on the negative and what you don’t like).
If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I am all about personal empowerment and world peace. Most people do not know how to get there or what it even means. To truly love and value yourself is not about manicures and massages, it is an inside job. In becoming self-responsible for all of your choices, all of the situations you find yourself in is not easy, but it is freeing. If people took responsibility for everything in their lives they would see that allows them to change things too, rather than feeling victimized by their circumstances. It allows authenticity — no more hiding or pretending to be someone else. And by being self-responsible, you stop trying so hard to be anyone but you and thereby you stop doing behaviors which are toxic, depleting and can have you wanting other people/life to change or do your bidding. When you stop the things you do to stand in your way and expect someone else to fix, your life gets kinder, easier and happier. This is empowerment and if you want world peace, you have to have the tools “inside” of you to be peaceful yourself. I am all about world peace.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I really never thought about this question at any point in time, but I love that you asked! And because I never have been asked these were the first two people I thought of and then it was followed by a couple of others. Please choose whomever you see fit. 🙂 Oprah, Chelsea Handler or Brene Brown. In the order of who I would love to have a meal with I would start with Chelsea Handler. She has a tude and a tone I can appreciate, she has taken a deep dive into her own “stuff” and is on a mission to change the world. Gotta love that! Plus my humor has been compared to hers and Howard Stern with a bit of Oprah thrown in. Oprah, is Oprah and I feel she has done a lot to change the world we live in, she is a woman who has become successful and stayed there. I love seeing and understanding how people have achieved success, especially when so many use the excuse of an adversity or something they allowed to hold them back. Oprah did not. With Brene Brown I read the Gifts of Imperfection in 2010. I was still in the throes of trying to get a deeper understanding of myself. I was a perfectionist and I refer to myself as a recovering one, this book opened my eyes to so much about myself including shame. I would say it helped me to gain a different perspective on why I found myself in the life circumstances I had at the time.
“5 Things We Can Each Do To Help Solve the ‘Loneliness Epidemic”, with Helen Kramer and Fotis Georgiadis
Connect to your resources. No one ever taught you that your brain has an overactive fight-or-flight fear reaction, so your brain will keep sending fearful messages — i.e. messages that you’re not good enough or that you are going to be hurt by other people, regardless of whether or not these thoughts reflect objective reality. Our “deification” of the brain has caused us to ascribe erroneous power and wisdom to these reflexive and fear-based thoughts. As a result, the world becomes an inhospitable place to live. How can we not feel lonely such a world?
I had the pleasure of interviewing Helen Kramer. After graduating Cornell University in 1967 with a BS in Child Development, Kramer attended Graduate School at Brooklyn College and The New School for Social Research in NYC. She attended The Gestalt Center where she taught and supervised professional psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers. Kramer has presented at conferences, including The American Humanistic Association of Psychotherapists, the first International Gestalt Conference and developed training programs at The University of Georgia Graduate School of Psychology, and the Cleveland Gestalt Center. She also organized gestalt conferences and trained therapists in Rio de Janeiro and San Paolo, Brazil. While maintaining her private practice she served as a consultant to “Self-Help,” an organization providing psychological services to Holocaust survivors and developed a program for educators working with special needs children and their families. She developed stress-reducing programs at Booth Memorial Hospital for dental residents, and middle managers and designed a program to improve communication between emergency room nurses and doctors. As a staff member at the Gestalt Association for Practicing Psychotherapy, Kramer lectured and trained therapists at universities in the US, Canada, Europe and South America. Kramer is author of Liberating the Adult Within: How to Be a Grown-Up For Good: Overcome Emotional Dyslexia — the biological short circuit that keeps you stuck in unwanted patterns. Helen’s book helps readers understand the roots of their problems, and showing how the childish states of dependency, distortion, and fear can be transformed into the adult states of interdependency, awareness, and confidence — without years of therapy. Kramer worked as a consultant to 60 Minutes, 20/20 and was profiled in New York Woman. Kramer has appeared on Oprah, Today in NY and Good Day New York. Kramer is a frequent guest on WBAI’s radio show, “Take Charge of Your Health.” She has written articles for Mademoiselle, Cosmopolitan, New Woman, the Daily News, Family Circle and Newsday.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Helen! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
Since I was a little girl, I was always interested in what made people tick. My sister, who is only 10 ½ months younger than I, reminded me that when we were little children, she wanted to watch cartoons, and I wanted to watch a television program that featured Dr. Joyce Brothers, a leading psychologist. My fascination with the human psyche remains highly active to this day. Given current political and social conditions, I am endlessly curious about how to identify the issues that keep us from evolving personally and socially into the joyful, loving, and peaceful beings we are meant to be. I believe that all human beings seek fulfillment, and my professional life has involved an in-depth study of the physiological, psychological, and social issues that interfere with our functioning at our best. It has always been my belief that human beings, like all living organisms, have only one drive, and that is for mastery — to be the best that they can be. My inquiry has led me to discover six major obstacles to our fulfilling this drive for mastery. Identifying these interferences has allowed me to develop specific tools to liberate myself and others from these interferences. My quest has revealed a number of physiological limitations that were previously misidentified as psychological.
I self-identify as an educator, as opposed to a psychotherapist, because I believe that people need to be educated so that they can overcome all limitations, those due to physiological issues in the brain and those due to condition patterns so we can attain the emotional serenity and peace we desire. I have developed specific tools that help people transform any pattern that is causing them pain or discomfort. I also teach people communication skills so that they can express themselves in ways that are truly satisfying, allowing them to reach their goals with greater ease and pleasure.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Early in my career, when I was looking at one of my clients, I had an amazing insight and realized that everything I learned in my training as a psychotherapist was incorrect. I intuited there are evolutionary issues related to the design of the human brain that have kept us from living the fulfilled lives we all desire. This insight helped me to understand that we have a brain that’s designed for survival and not for quality of life. For most of our time on the planet, we lived in mortal danger and had to have a quick fight/flight and freeze response for survival. To respond quickly, danger signals had to bypass the cognitive centers of the brain. Unfortunately, the brain hasn’t evolved to tell the difference between stress and mortal danger, so stress signals get sent to the fight/flight/freeze part of the brain, causing us to react with the part of the brain that we hardwired in painful and traumatic memories from childhood. Because until recently, we didn’t know how the brain worked, we interpreted these reactive and ineffective responses to stress with psychological labels such as masochism, self- sabotaging, or neuroses. We didn’t know that when we are stressed, our cognitive functions are bypassed, and we end up responding with the brainpower of a very small, frightened child.
We weren’t taught that this mechanism is physiological and not psychological. Without this understanding, we have used pathological labels to describe the ineffective and reactive behavior that results from this evolutionary limitation in the brain. Nobody wants to suffer. We can all learn how to override this evolutionary limitation and stop blaming ourselves and others for this evolutionary glitch. Our emotions don’t make sure as we age chronologically, but we can learn how to transform all the patterns of emotional reactions that got hardwired into the brain when we were young children
Because of our lack of understanding of how the brain works, we have been “pathologizing” and judging ourselves and others for a biological reflex that allowed our species to survive when confronted with life-and-death situations. This judgment has created feelings of unworthiness and loneliness because whenever we exercise the “judgmental muscle,” we are diminishing our own humanity and the humanity of others. We may temporarily feel better by seeing somebody else as “lesser,” but in doing so, we fundamentally create distance and aloneness. Criticizing and judging inadvertently forecloses the opportunity for the true connection we so deeply desire. Authentic connection naturally flows when we are truly compassionate and empathic both to ourselves and others.
Can you share a story about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson or takeaway you learned from that?
I experienced something quite ironic many years ago. I had a good friend that was a well-known celebrity, quite revered by many people. When he was not on camera, he was quite shy and socially uncomfortable, causing him to drink quite a bit. One day one of my clients came in reporting that she had had a dream about him and expressed her longing to be more like him. I chuckled to myself and said inwardly, “If you only knew the real story” — also an example of the old saying, “be careful what you wish for.” I think she would’ve been incredibly disappointed if she really became more like him.
I saw that she had projected feelings of confidence and self-assurance onto the “persona” of this celebrity and these qualities she wanted to develop in herself. Part of the irony was that, in reality, she led a life that reflected greater social ease, but her projections allowed us to give her the tools she needed to become more self-assured, creative, and liberated. This story has stayed with me, and I’ve repeated it to many people, including myself, as a reminder that we don’t have to long for what other people have — we can attain it ourselves with proper help.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My work is based on my fundamental belief that nobody wants to suffer and truly believing this, I have dedicated myself to identifying the interferences to our leading fully actualized lives. I don’t believe in the “pathological” model human behavior and have developed many tools that people can learn to overcome whatever is preventing them from leading fulfilling lives. I’ve always been interested in creating opportunities to share these tools so that people can remove the impediments to more abundant lives.
Earlier in my career, I hosted groups four nights a week because I felt that the group environment provided a supportive community-enhancing group members opportunity for growth. I used to say to people there, “we need to support each other in being counterculture.” I believe that compassion is the most powerful and essential support we can learn to provide for ourselves and each other. Unfortunately, when our culture became a 24/7culture, I could no longer do groups in the early evening because people were working so much later. As a result, I have brought these tools into co-working venues, professional settings, and I have developed a series of free salons and workshops, allowing people to come together and support each other’s evolution.
Some of my most gratifying work has been with parents not only giving then the emotional skills that they desire but helping them to teach them to their children said that they don’t have to suffer unnecessarily. Children are like sponges open to receiving help and information that allows them to feel at their best what feels best. It is thrilling to provide parents with the skills and tools they need so they can fulfill their desire to be loving and helpful parents.
I have spoken in so many different settings and have been wonderfully surprised to discover how welcoming, open, and receptive people are to creating greater compassionate connection for themselves and others. My experience is that by creating truly supportive communities, we can enhance our own and each other’s quality-of-life. We can bring greater creativity, joy, and compassion to ourselves, our personal and professional relationships, and can participate as better global citizens.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
In my experience, loneliness or aloneness can be uncomfortable, but what makes it so painful is the feeling that there is something wrong with us, and that’s why we are alone. It is impossible to have a good quality of life if we feel that we are fundamentally unlovable or unworthy. My experience has taught me that all of these feelings and hardwired patterns can be transformed and wired as new, more expansive, and loving patterns.
In the long span of my career, I have seen dramatic changes and our culture and the world. American culture has always valued independence but often wasn’t aware of the need for interdependence. Without realizing how many human beings need community and support, we have created an imbalance in our quest for independence and autonomy.
The world has become more complicated because we have more demands on us than ever but with less support. The word I hear more than any other from people is the word “overwhelmed.” Not only do people have an enormous personal or professional “to do” list, but they also feel overwhelmed by dealing with political and global issues. Feeling overwhelmed is obviously stressful and does lead people to get triggered into reactive patterns causing more eating disorders, substance abuse, obsessive and compulsive behavior, as well as depression and anxiety.
It certainly is a vicious cycle: the less support we have, the more we get triggered into the above behaviors, the more we judge ourselves or are judged by others for having these difficulties. Getting treated this way makes us feel worse about ourselves, creating feelings of unworthiness, jealousy, loneliness, and anxiety. In my work with individuals and groups, I teach people how to “evolve” the brains so that stress signals go to what I call the “adult” part of the brain. Simultaneously, I teach them how to respond with compassion to themselves and others when fearful patterns get triggered, or we see behavior we don’t think is productive.
To understand and transform this epidemic of loneliness, we need to understand the origins of our feelings of loneliness. As infants and young children, we are so dependent and vulnerable. If we don’t receive consistent, loving connection, we are prone to experiencing painful and dangerous feelings of loneliness. Children perceive their parents as omnipotent because, in contrast to their feelings of vulnerability, their parents seem to be all-powerful. Children can’t see their parents as having limitations and therefore feel as if their parents could love them if they were only lovable. Consequently, they experience a lack of love as rejection — an indication that they are fundamentally unlovable and unworthy.
Our addictions, compulsions, obsessions, anxieties, and depression are fueled by this painful feeling that we are unworthy. As I said earlier, the brain can’t tell the difference between stress and danger. Thus, as adults, when we are stressed by too much aloneness, these signals go to the fight-flight-freeze part of our brain where our traumatic childhood memories of feeling unworthy and abandoned were hardwired.
Unfortunately, we have a very “imperfect storm.” Our feelings of unworthiness from childhood are triggered by the impossible expectations placed on us, which is exacerbated by our cultural tendency to blame ourselves and each other for our difficulties instead of providing appropriate and compassionate support.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
The changes that have occurred in this country and across the globe have left us more complicated issues and less support to deal with these issues. We have been focusing on how to be more successful, more beautiful, with more money in the bank, and didn’t realize that as social beings, we need support and compassion to deal with both the mundane and significant problems facing us.
Nobody taught us that giving and receiving support and compassion are what make us strong. We are all pushing to do more, be more productive, and accomplish more. As a result, we are losing our humanity and our sense of connection to one another, our environment, and the planet. In this pushing and striving, we are disconnecting from ourselves, creating a more profound sense of loneliness.
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
We’ve been given models of “success” that are antithetical to being connected to ourselves and others. Everyone I talk to expresses that they are feeling “overwhelmed,” which translates into living in fight-or-flight all the time. Our cortisol and adrenaline are ramped up, causing physical illness, anger, depression, anxiety, and compulsive and addictive patterns to deal with all the stress we are feeling. Remember, when we are in the reflexive fear part of our brain, we don’t connect well to our cognition and therefore tend to be irrational and create more stress and loneliness.
We are living like hamsters on a wheel, running faster and faster, creating more stress and disconnection. Without knowing how to connect to ourselves and each other with compassion, we end up trying to feel better by pushing ourselves to do more, becoming even more critical of ourselves for not attaining unrealistic goals. And even if people reach these goals, they don’t feel good because their well-being is contingent on how they are performing, moment-to-moment. Most people are judging and criticizing themselves and others because we have been socialized to believe that these behaviors motivate when they are contributing to greater feelings of loneliness. People are so used to being harsh with themselves that they have no awareness of the consequences of this constant, critical messaging. The only way that I can make people aware of how damaging their self-criticism is to ask them if they would say the same thing as they say to themselves to a precious child in their life or a close friend. With that perspective, most people are horrified by this thought and can’t imagine saying those things to somebody they love, yet they are constantly diminishing themselves with critical messages.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this? Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
1. People lack awareness on how we can function optimally — i.e., changing the brain to reduce undesirable reflexive reactions that don’t reflect our adult resources. As we rewire our brains, we can send stress signals into the higher centers of our minds; we can actually problem solve successfully. Until we reduce and even eliminate these hardwired reflexive patterns, we are going to behave in ways that only creates more stress.
When we respond with these hardwired patterns, we feel out of control and diminished, and this increases our sense of being undesirable or unworthy, which only contributes more to our feelings of loneliness.
2. People blame themselves and others for reflexive brain patterns. We have a brain that evolved for survival and not quality-of-life. We are not responsible for the incomplete evolution of our brains and is only diminishing us and our ability to connect to others when we blame ourselves and others for these unprotected responses. Whenever we criticize ourselves and others for these behaviors, we foreclose the opportunity to connect deeply to our common humanity. I would say that whenever we use the judgmental muscle, we will turn it on ourselves and also project other people are judging us as we judge ourselves. This judgement becomes an endless cycle, again, robbing us of an opportunity to see ourselves as biological organisms with physiological patterns that we can transform. None of us want to suffer.
3. People are not taught to transform their loneliness into power. Instead of blaming yourself and others, I recommend that you thank your brain for its good intention to protect you and let your brain know that you are perfectly okay. I had a patient named Susan with reflexive patterns like anticipating rejection in social situations. Truly understanding that these thoughts had no objective meaning, we worked together to allow her to overcome paralyzing anxiety. Instead of being upset with herself for being phobic, she was able to see that she was not creating these thoughts — they were simply reflexes. The more she was able to take the power back from these reflexive thoughts, the more comfortable she became and was able to see that this was a reflex and not something that she was deliberately doing. In reality, we don’t have to stop these thoughts; we just have to learn to see them for what they are.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
1. To transform loneliness, replace it with loving connection for new patterns. As I mentioned, the brain has evolved for survival but not for quality-of-life. Fortunately, we don’t have to wait millions of years for the brain to evolve so that we can enjoy the quality of life we deserve and desire. Recent research in neuroscience has taught us how we can all speed up the evolutionary process. When neuroscience studied brain mapping, they wanted to see what part of the brain was responsible for finger movement.
Scientists found that there was one particular region of the brain that had grown larger in pianists when compared to the normal population. But the fascinating discovery that occurred during an experiment in which they asked people to imagine that they were playing the piano, but in reality, these people never moved their fingers. What they found was that when participants imagined moving their fingers was that the brain reacted as if they had actually played the piano. Imagining finger movement affected the brain as if people were actually playing the piano. From these experiments, we learned that the brain doesn’t know the difference between actually doing something and imagining that you’re doing it.
To rewire our brains so that we are not constantly reliving painful experiences, we need to extinguish those memories and replace them with fulfilling and positive experiences. Specifically, you can replace feelings of loneliness and alienation by resurrecting memories of times when you felt a loving closeness with either a pet, a warm, nurturing place in nature, or a happy time with a friend or relative. The memory can be retrieved from childhood or can be more recent.
It is important to enter the memory, using all your senses so that this is an alive experience. When you are seeing, feeling, and hearing the experience of closeness, you are producing feel-good neurotransmitters and hormones and creating new neural pathways to replace the old painful ones. As you enter a loving and peaceful memory, be aware of your bodily sensations. You might feel a warmth in your chest, or relaxation in your shoulders or a smile on your face.
2. Connect to your resources. No one ever taught you that your brain has an overactive fight-or-flight fear reaction, so your brain will keep sending fearful messages — i.e. messages that you’re not good enough or that you are going to be hurt by other people, regardless of whether or not these thoughts reflect objective reality. Our “deification” of the brain has caused us to ascribe erroneous power and wisdom to these reflexive and fear-based thoughts. As a result, the world becomes an inhospitable place to live. How can we not feel lonely such a world?
These fearful thoughts trigger what I call “phantom emotions,” which are emotional patterns from when we were children. When these memories get triggered, they bring up the intensity we felt when we were young, vulnerable children. These phantom emotions do not reflect our reality today as adults. Unfortunately, we didn’t learn that our brain, to protect us, will keep us living as helpless children re-stimulating feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and unnecessary pain.
I recently met with Joan, a 75-year-old woman who had recently decided to separate from her second husband. She told me that she had abandonment issues because when she was a baby, her mother had to go to the hospital. That trauma in infancy got hardwired into her brain. Whenever her personal and professional relationships suffered, she went into painful and dramatic feelings of abandonment as if she was still that young, helpless infant. My experience with Joan is an unfortunate example of how our brain’s program for survival prevents us from evolving our emotions. Our cognition matures naturally as we age chronologically, but unfortunately, our emotions stay the same. The persistence of intense and dramatic language and feelings are one of the painful consequences of our survival brain.
To teach Joan how to evolve her emotions, I asked her to resurrect memories of loving connections with friends and times when she felt very creative in her work. It took a while for Joan to experience these memories because she, like most people, could talk about a loving memory with her friends, but not feel the loving connection. For the brain and nervous system to be rewired, we have to actually feel things; thoughts alone do not accomplish this rewiring. As Joan began to feel herself as a rich and resourceful human being, her depression and loneliness lifted.
3. Have Compassion for Yourself. It’s important not to be angry with ourselves for these reflexive patterns that perpetuate loneliness. Whenever we are triggered into obsessive, addictive, or compulsive behaviors, or whenever we feel anxious or depressed, it may be because the survival part of our brain has gotten triggered. Nobody taught us how to transform this reflex.
I suggest to people when any negative or fearful thoughts arise, they don’t fight these thoughts and don’t blame themselves for having them. Overcoming all of our painful feelings, including loneliness, requires compassion. Remember, your behavior is caused by a survival reflex, so you are not doing this intentionally. Part of my method for change is thanking your brain for trying to protect you, and then reminding this fearful, reflexive part of your brain that you are okay.
You are never trying sabotage yourself, and no matter how often you repeat painful patterns, you are not masochistic. In our culture, we have deified the brain, but the brain has no more wisdom than any of your other physiological reflexes. For example, when your doctor hits you under the knee with a rubber hammer and your leg flies up, this is a reflex that is not under your control. Unfortunately, when our brain reflexes result in emotional reactions, we tend to blame ourselves, making us feel diminished and less worthy. We all have hardwired patterns that are going to be triggered when we feel stress. In the examples I gave above, it is important to replace these fearful reflexes with memories and visualizations that celebrate who we are.
4. Develop an inner voice of love and support. Because our culture hasn’t taught us that power comes from being loving and compassionate, we have become obsessed with becoming powerful by being more physically attractive, having money, or being better than others. But even when we achieve these goals, they are only temporarily satisfying because they are not intrinsically empowering behaviors. Being better than others by feeding our ego only ends up frightening ourselves more. It’s like living on a seesaw — somebody must be on the bottom, and somebody must be on the top. Being on top is unsustainable as we are always vigilant for someone who is going to try to diminish us so that they can feel better.
Every infant and child deserves to be loved unconditionally, treasured, and appreciated for who they are at their core, not for qualities or attributes that are fleeting and temporary. Few people have had this kind of unconditional love growing up. Because our emotions don’t mature as we age chronologically, we keep looking outward for that appreciation and affirmation.
When I work with people, I often make a short audiotape that they can listen to and receive care and support that they can internalize and make their own. As they internalize my supportive voice and resurrect the voices of caring people in their lives, they learn how to feel loved and supported, and how to love themselves. When people learn this technique, they naturally attract and resonate with loving people.
5. To stay empowered, stop judging. To feel good about ourselves and have good relationships with others, we need to know the difference between power and weakness. We are all weak when frightened, and when we are frightened, we end up doing things that backfire. Not because we want to hurt ourselves, but because fear is not a good motivator, and when we are in the fear part of our brain, we have the brainpower of a young, helpless child.
Being judgmental is one of the signs of a frightened person. Only frightened people need to diminish others. A truly powerful person feels their own humanity and enhances their quality of life by connecting to the humanity of others. When I was working with myself years ago, trying to move past my own judgmental nature, I remember being on the subway and looking across at a woman who was wearing garish clothes and makeup. I found myself judging her, but then I looked again and experienced her somebody who woke up in the morning and wanted to look good. I could connect to that what wanting to have a nice appearance feels like, and I realized that what she was wearing did look good to her. By peeling the onion, I saw her positive intent in the morning to look good, so I was able to connect her humanity. When we experience this common humanity, we can’t feel lonely.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I want to form a coalition of people of influence — teachers, politicians, social activists, and celebrities — to help us discover the truth of who we truly are at our core. The reality is that inside of you, as well as every person you encounter, is a beautiful, perfect, and loving being, the way we came into the world as precious babies. That essence is our true nature, but it often gets obscured by our conditioning. Layers upon layers of hurt and pain sadly reinforce our fearful reflexes, causing us to relive old pain and become vigilant for getting hurt in the future. It is this conditioned fear that causes us to do harmful things to ourselves and each other. It is this fear that is the greatest pollutant in the universe, triggering us to react with anger, vindictiveness, and alienation. It is our conditioned patterns that obscure the infinite beauty that lives within each of us and every living creature, our planet, and the universe.
To end this epidemic of loneliness, and to save our planet, we need not let this fear-based conditioning obscure the incredible beings who we truly are. We need to be taught that our conditioning has created a lens through which we see the world, giving us a distorted view of the world and ourselves. Without knowing this is a lens, we believe that the projections and distortions we imagine are real. How can we not be lonely if we are constantly living inside our heads, reliving old pain? How can we not be lonely if we don’t truly see the world as it is, or experience ourselves as the resourceful adults we are now?
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Van Jones! The first time I saw him was after the presidential election when he was interviewing Trump supporters. His genuine interest in people’s lives, and his compassion for their point of view, even if he disagreed, was really impressive. I’ve seen him conduct numerous interviews and have never once seen him be anything but compassionate and open, always bringing out the best in people. He is an exemplary role model and a person with a very high emotional intelligence, giving him the ability to find common ground in disparate points of view. His compassion and respect for people allows him to move people closer to one another and closer to mutually satisfying solutions.
“5 Things We Can Each Do Help Solve The Loneliness Epidemic” With Dr. J. Paul Rand and Fotis Georgiadis
Unseen Loss of Self-Appreciation: Loneliness in my research is directly related to causing individuals to slip into a spiral, one that is often unseen. A feeling people describe as being numb to the experience of life. People who are lonely can also be surrounded by people, making it a difficult condition to detect and resolve until it is too late. Perceived success matters not; consider some iconic individuals such as Anthony Bourdain, Heath Ledger, or Robin Williams.
As a part of my interview series about the ‘5 Things We Can Each Do Help Solve The Loneliness Epidemic’ I had the pleasure to interview Dr. J. Paul Rand MBA, CPCN. Dr Rand, is the owner of RSolutions located at The-Orchard.org — an organically different applied think-tank in Seattle, Washington. Rand contributes research and organizational perspectives through the Business Journal Leadership Trust available in 43 cities monthly. He is regularly featured in this outlet, but has appeared in NBC, CBS, Forbes, Huffington Post. As a cultural performance research psychologist, he is dedicated to putting the human back into the digital era with his work.
Thank you so much for doing this with us Dr. Rand! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
Much of my career has been focused on organizational development (OD) working with 85% of the personnel departments based on Seattle, Washington. It is here that my corporate consulting and research takes a turn from all things corporate in the “City of Companies” (Seattle) to understanding the lived experience using a very unique, organically-dynamic method of human performance and cultural research! Aside from educational and organizational consulting, though, amidst the downtown Seattle rain, beyond the glass towers of Amazon, the Boeing plants and airplane fuselages, and well below the iconic Space Needle, exists a small, quiet, grove: The-Orchard.
The programs I have designed takes a deep dive into the cultivation of the inner character by understanding, discovering, and creating a personal framework that empower individuals to distill confident clarity in their lives by seeking to live, learn, and lead a significant life.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
After losing several friends in the War on Terror, I started conducting research on site at The-Orchard in 2007 motivated by a desire to help while returning to school to earn a PhD in psychology (featured in a variety of outlets including this one recently).
In 2014 I was endorsed by the VA/Dept of Defense leader overseeing the traumatic brain injury services stating my program did more in three months than their programs could in three years (really it was to cooperation of both, I believe). This led to me being interviewed by a major media outlet for my outreach programs incubated in my think-tank dedicated to helping veterans to “get right, find right, and be dynamic” through recreational therapy solutions (which inspired a scene in the movie American Sniper).
Can you share a story about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson or takeaway you learned from that?
I am actively still making mistakes to stay in a mode of relentless pursuit of excellence like it is my day-one at work: a well proven value of Amazon and their record breaking hypergrowth this past decade.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes, I am very excited to take your audience on a journey in this conversation. Did you know, in fact, that loneliness is something Forbes Health leaders and Dr Oz recently described as the most pressing issue in our country?
Motivated by a desire to leverage my awarded, endorsed, and cited research method to addressing challenges faced by parents, youths, and educators around this subject, I accidentally made an organically dynamic discovery, a really interesting journey… one that links a 4000 year old secret… ironically living a lonely life… which I am excited to share with the audience later in our discussion.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
Absolutely. My focus on dynamic-success as a performance psychologist is outlined in a publication The-Orchard featured with references and citations in Forbes, Huffington Post, NBC, CBS, and even resulted in me being asked to make policy proposals to the White House, Dept of Labor, Department of Education, and other federal agencies this past year.
I have been awarded by several professional associations annually for over 12 years for my OD work in corporations. I am considered nationally by members of congress, Big-4 consulting firms, and the White House as a leading SME in humanistic culture research related to dynamic-success psychology, a method of applied (action) research focused on real life solutions and not just lab or statistical studies.
This in addition to the recognition by the Traumatic Brain Injury center serving combat veterans for outcomes achieved by participants I worked with at The-Orchard.org
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
Recently, this topic came up when I was presenting my book DadJob live on 5th Ave Forbes (with my 13 year old, and the importance of dynamic-success psychology research I have conducted to helping resolve the crisis).
You know, some 250 or 300 years ago, an Irish ballad was written about the Rowan Berry Tree, a name not commonly known to most. Maybe you might recognize its culturally common name: the Tree of Life?
This poem laments the long-lost friend of humanity. The poem depicts the tree’s long-life journey in solitude. Historically, the Tree of Life, specifically Rowan, is said to represent man’s struggle to overcome the environment against all odds and conditions. Once revered so strongly that it was a capital offence to cut the tree in some cultures; sadly, this tree has been all but forgotten by humanity.
Most people unaware that the Tree of Life is anything more than an iconic symbol of cultures and beliefs from a bygone era. Believe it or not, the Tree of Life (the Rowan) is a real tree, but it is on the verge of going extinct. I think that in many ways the ballad mirrors the experience shared by many people now feeling lost in the digital era causing harm by:
Unseen Loss of Self-Appreciation: Loneliness in my research is directly related to causing individuals to slip into a spiral, one that is often unseen. A feeling people describe as being numb to the experience of life. People who are lonely can also be surrounded by people, making it a difficult condition to detect and resolve until it is too late. Perceived success matters not; consider some iconic individuals such as Anthony Bourdain, Heath Ledger, or Robin Williams.
Overburden Poor Choice Responses: In my cultural research with veterans and other at-risk populations, as well as with executives and organizational leaders, I find that being lonely increases stress causing people to seek unhealthy outlets such as over eating, stagnation in daily routine, drugs, suicide ideation, risky behavior, and self-defeating thoughts that repress their self-appreciation, increasing physical ailments.
Physical Ailments/Reduced Well-Being: new research is emerging that many diseases are directly related to one common denominator: inflammation. High rates of stress, negative thinking patterns, emotional frustration, anger, anxiety, and depression are all linked to increased inflammation throughout the body. Depressive thoughts can lead to increased food consumption; this causes reduce movement; reduced movement increases poor physical digestion which new studies link directly to neurological responses that causes inflammation. Inflammation can lead to more chronic and serious health conditions. In turn, these ailments directly diminish our long-term well-being measurements. A vicious cycle.
Being alone, isolated or being amidst a crowded stadium but still feeling completely disconnected from humanity is the common definition of human loneliness. And, just as the nearly forgotten rowanberry, the fruit of the Tree of Life, has been alone forgotten after years of appreciation and reverence, it is going extinct. Likewise, the loneliness epidemic is taking a toll on humanity and harming our mental, emotional, physical, and health and essence.
Later in this dialogue, I will share some profound connections between humanity and the Rowan that really emphasize a profound thought: What does it mean for humanity if we literally allow the Tree of Life go extinct, despite over 4000 years of cultural heritage and lore from around the world revering it for its perceived connection to humanity?
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
We are the only species with one unique brain neuron, something I will get into a bit later, separating our minds from all other mammals. Yet, as a society we are allowing the digital era to define us; to prohibit our ability to unlock our organically-dynamic abilities; to go beyond the digital content, to connect with people in real, right, and profound ways; to put the human back into our hearts, minds, body and essence. Why?
Too Fast: We are moving too fast and lost value of the “Speed of patience” to put dynamic quality into our interactions and lives. More and frequent and constant exposure is actually linked to reduction in teen pregnancies since the 1990s, but massive increases in school violence, rates of anxiety, suicide ideation, drug addiction, and more. I explore the impact on families and community in my publication Dad-Job with fathers who have lost children, victims of school shootings, and others directly impacted because of the way loneliness is making a nasty impact on our communities. Why?
Too much: Too much digital content, too much faster speeds, too much food we do not need, too much reliance on medications, too much manufactured drama and hype, too much negativity, too much meaningless content, too much traffic, too much noise! Consider one of the fastest growing internet rages (I won’t even honor it by giving you the name) providing mindless, short clip videos with absolutely no point. Too much! Why?
Too Distracted: Our attention span is being reduced to such low levels due to over consumption; so much so that less than 7 people out of 10 who start will complete this interview to the finish. (that’s ok, I will take my time in appreciation for those seeking something real, right, and dynamically different seeking quality over quantity). The fact is, we have reduced our attention span for entertainment purposes (based on reading character novels of length) by over 30% in the past five years; for intellectual content the reduction of attention is so striking you would not believe them. Why?
Much like the Rowan Tree (Tree of Life) ballad lamented about humanity loosing value of its once revered relationship with the Tree of Life; in a way, the technology era is doing the same to humanity.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this? Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
We are often distracted by the lure of a digital realm that consumes us with massive data (that can be counted) despite so little of it actually providing quality, intentional, and real significance in our life:
1.Valueless-Content Overload: we are bombarded by content, but often not empowered to go beyond content to apply, engage, and develop real, right, and positive outcomes by applying our knowledge. As the world moves so rapidly, it becomes difficult to keep up. We become overwhelmed by everything others do, causing us to retreat in taking even the most minor of actions to live a dynamic life learning, serving, and creating a better tomorrow. We become isolated amid the vast digital data. Consumed and overwhelmed, eventually, we give up. So, we let go of learning, and start to feel numb and alone.
The Rowan tree mentioned earlier is known to grow high atop mountains, surrounded by rocks, and unhealthy soil, struggling against the conditions to grow tall, strong and abundant; a fight the tree is now losing. Are we doing the same amid the content-overload
2. Unhealthy Technology Relationship: speed of information: not everyone is a friend, and not everyone’s life can be measured by social media fads, likes, and shares. Technology has gone from a tool, to a crutch, to what some people believe is literally an extension of themselves.
Currently, teens feel more despair than ever; facing more difficulties that most rather ignore; distracted into running faster and faster in life trying to keep up with the multitude of drama, meaningless content, and shallow conversation of the digital era. They are feeling alone while missing out a dynamic and real-life journey right in front of them, lost while consuming everything in that little digital box they see as a necessity of their existence. Basic motor functions are on the decline as children are not even taught to use a pen in many schools anymore. We are creating a generation I call, “tap… tap.. create.” Expectations with no significance to the work required to achieve success.
The problem? What happens when the technology you tap no longer works, where will humanity be then? Or worse, when technology no longer has a need for us?
3. Positively-Negative Phenomenon: loneliness, in my research has been directly related to the scam of “sharing a sad story of success.” People are being contrived into spending money, investing time, promises of sharing revealing, deep seeded life stories (some real, others fantasized) in hopes of making it big. Becoming wealthy. Gaining more through internet opportunity than through real, authentic, positivity discovered outcomes that impact the lives of those right around people through development of the inner character, real relationships, and quality engagement. When internet influences and those contriving “look at me success” stories are honest with themselves, they feel something is missing in the virtual hype. An organic spirit that’s overwhelmingly negative.
Your life is more significant than a digital e-commerce gimmick, stop marketing your life and focus on cultivating the significant you.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
I have a motto from The-Orchard.org: Inspira Disciplina Ducatus,Latin is great because it has such depth of meaning, much like the organically-dynamic person each of us can be in life.
In short, this motto means successfully discovering your organically-dynamic essence, a process and a journey in one focus to:
LIVE: living, intentionally valued experiences. One of the most popular programs at The-Orchard.org has been taking a technology time-out: discover interesting, fun, and excitingly organic contributions you have to offer others close to you. Value real, right, and quality experience.
LEARN: Learning is the capacity to shape the future, the power of knowledge. Learning is the capacity to cultivate our experience including altering positive, stronger, and healthier brain functions that are not only good for each person but are interconnected among all of humanity. Believe it or not, but there is a recent discovery about the Tree of Life, the 4000-year-old cultural lore, and modern neuroscience that just might change everything you think you know, and I will share that next.
LEAD: Everything starts when you lead to discover something profound in life. Learning is constant; Engage with interesting people and activities; Align your strengths to be dynamic, no matter how small your real efforts may be; Define a brighter tomorrow with real intent and not virtual hype. (LEAD). Start by doing something dynamic daily, no matter how small: get up, brush your teeth, make your bed, go for a walk, smile or wave at everyone who passes by. Just start doing something different to break a mode of feeling alone that is real and not digitally focused.
BEREAL AND SEEK RIGHT: We can only learn to be a friend, by finding interesting, real, and right experiences that we become excited to bring a friend with to enjoy with us. And this is very important in the face of the loneliness epidemic. This starts by learning to recreation through recreation.
Cultivate your Inner-Character: visit The-Orchard.org or participate in a program at your home to discover your organically dynamic self. I outline this process not only in my publication The Orchard: creating healthy habits with technology, but also in several interviews featured in this outlet (google Dr J Paul Rand you will get access to those articles)
This framework is based off award-winning research and endorsements myself and my team earned in our work guiding veterans in their effort to combat PTSD. If they can overcome such trials, we can all overcome loneliness.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Thank you for believing in me like that… Let me share the movement, or the project, I referenced earlier. It directly relates to the loneliness epidemic and might bring to life the concept of dynamic-success psychology by living, learning, leading and seeking to cultivate a culture of leadership in our work at The-Orchard.org to life for your audience.
I will connect this organically-different research and discovery to the framework I suggested, so whether someone feels lonely or knows someone struggling, maybe this creative experience will provide help? I hope your audience will share this and encourage others to put the human back into the digital era by taking time to read, learn, engage and discover something profound, if not by this movement then by a small and dynamic effort of their own design that is real, right, and intentional in combating loneliness.
Earlier, if you recall, I mentioned that had completely overlooked a fascinating discovery at The-Orchard.org. Recall the poem I referenced, as I mentioned earlier, your audience might be more familiar with the culturally iconic name: The Tree of Life?
While working on site with veterans in their effort to define success and overcome the trials of their war-time experience — depicted in loneliness, stress, anxiety, and other conditions — little did I know we had an entire grove of 4000-year-old iconic Rowan tree overlooking our efforts!
This grove of Rowans is the largest and suspected only grove of these trees in the lower 48 states. Growing organically on their own and infused by fresh sea-salt air in the Seattle rain, but otherwise alone and forgotten. Despite the fact that the property is heritage property, we really have no understanding of why they are growing because it’s not a native tree in this area. And they have been there for at least 135 years according to my teams biologist.
Sadly, this tree is going extinct. Ponder these questions:
What does it mean for humanity if we let a tree honored by over 4000 years of cultures across the word as the Tree of Life to go extinct?
What does modern science teach us to explain why there was such a strong reverence for this tree to be defined the as the Tree of Life?
And what might this suggest about the current loneliness epidemic for humans giving the dynamic history we have shared with this tree?
We achieved dynamic-success outcomes, recognized by the VA, Department of Defense, and others, working with veterans; but, with The-Orchard.org being in Seattle, and millions feeling alone across the world, my team and I sought a way to create organic impact by leveraging the digital era for positive outcomes. How can we unlock the spirit of a nearly extinct icon that once was central to the faiths of so many cultures? And with those questions in mind, we started a journey to discover the answers …
For those feeling alone, do not hesitate to reach out… And for those who know someone feeling alone invite them to learn the full story of this remarkable tree, lead toward a deeper real friendship by discussing it with them, and discover how together we can reverse the loneliness epidemic.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Clint Eastwood. As a young academic with a recently published dissertation, he honored my work in American Sniper and I would like a chance to shake his hand and say thank you in person.
Lessons From Inspirational Women in STEM: “Be comfortable with the unknown”, with Dr. Vered Gigi and Fotis Georgiadis
Be comfortable with the unknown. Unfortunately, a lot of women in STEM think that knowing all the answers gives them credibility and proves their worth. During my training as a scientist I learned that the unknown is greater than the known and this equation actually breeds creativity and collaboration. Being able to admit to a certain amount of uncertainty and reach out for help are strengths that lead to better answers.
As a part of my series featuring accomplished women in STEM, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Vered Gigi. Vered is the Vice President of Strategy and Business Development at CURE Pharmaceutical, an innovative drug delivery and development company. Dr. Gigi oversees CURE’s strategy to deliver sustained growth and diversified revenue. Before joining CURE, Dr.Gigi served as a project leader at The Boston Consulting Group. During her tenure she worked with global biopharma and medtech companies focusing on corporate and network strategy, operations and marketing. Dr. Gigi graduated from Tel-Aviv University in Israel with a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree investigating immunotherapy and stem cell. She then went on to earn her Ph.D. in Immunology from the University of Pennsylvania, focusing her studies on DNA repair mechanisms and genome sequencing.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Vered! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
It is pretty straight forward — my love for science and health. As a teenager, I thought I would be a lawyer; however, when I was 16, I had the opportunity to participate in a youth delegation revolving around cardiology called The NIR School of the Heart. I vividly remember a task we were given: “If you can redesign the heart how would you do it and why?”. This unconventional and investigative approach to teaching science was a turning point for me, and I never looked back. Both my BA and MSc are in Bio-Medical sciences, and it was a natural progression to do a Ph.D. where I can really produce a meaningful body of work on a topic on which I am very passionate. I was certain I would stay in academia but during my Ph.D. I had another “Ahh-ha” moment realizing my interests and skills would be better suited in the business world.
This led me to Boston Consulting Group (BCG). While at BCG I focused on health care and with my teams, I assisted companies in identifying, distilling, shaping and communicating initiatives along the value chain of Pharma and MedTech companies. I learned a lot during my tenure, but I was missing the implementation and execution portion of the strategy that we built. Our role usually stopped at the recommendation, and it was up to the client to fully execute and deliver. We could help via enablement, but we could never really own it. My current role with CURE Pharmaceutical not only gave me that ownership but also allowed me to do it with an exceptional team and for a great cause. I believe a person should follow their passion all the time, yet remember that there isn’t only one right path and that they are embarking on a journey to pursue their passion.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began at your company?
Maybe not so much an interesting story but more so an interesting observation: Our COO, Jessica Rousset, is passionate about establishing a company’s culture and values but more importantly living and working by them. When I joined the company this initiative had already launched and I had the opportunity to see and participate as it was molding. Coming from consulting to big pharma and the cultural challenges of huge operations, I was certain that this would be an easy implementation in a start-up. However, that was not the case; it was surprising and baffling how some challenges are agnostic to company size. The amount of people who need to buy into the culture is not the root of the challenge but rather the difference in personalities that has to be addressed. People are coming from various backgrounds and cultures hence a value of Humanity, for example, can be interpreted differently. It is the company’s responsibility through different mechanisms to bring everyone to agree on a definition they can identify and relate to so they can also work and live by it.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
At BCG, it was my first project where one of the requests was to identify and visualize drivers of cost variance from previous year to this year for a certain department. My manager tasked me with putting together the first draft for this ‘ask’. The identification of drivers was not too hard, but I was totally off in the visualization. I chose from the set of graphs we had on hand to present the triggers as a jigsaw and how all the pieces come together like a puzzle to the 100% variance. I wish I had a camera to capture my manager’s face when she saw it; she was pretty speechless. I told her that I was trying to think outside the box and didn’t want to present it as column or waterfall graph. She told me she appreciated the thought, but this is not the project to do so and to revert to the expected.
This taught me that one must align early with their manager(s) on expectations early on and determine if there is freedom to operate because not everyone appreciates different thinking. Also, if you are working for a manager that is too set in their ways, it may suit you to find an opportunity under a different manager because this is a huge hurdle for growth and creativity. Who you work for and who your mentors are can have a big impact on the trajectory of your career path, so consider this carefully when making a job decision.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I believe what makes our company stand out is the team and the technology — in this order. The people make the company ALWAYS. You can have the best idea and all the funding money in the world, but if you don’t have the right team you will fail on execution; especially as a start-up.
Our team across seniority and positions has a growth mindset. Like many other start-ups we advance two steps forward one step back, and our team can endure and pivot as needed. If our people wanted their 9–5 job and “hide” (as I call it) they wouldn’t be at CURE. We are less than 20 people with a very flat structure which allows for a lot of transparency with accountability and our team steps up to the challenge. Everyone has a voice to offer an idea or to challenge one and overall we make each other and the technology better.
Secondly, this leads me to the technology which is still relatively new in the world of Pharma, and there are only handful of companies that play in this field. It’s just a very elegant and efficient way of delivering medicine and premium supplements. It’s actually mind-blowing that it hasn’t caught on widely yet. Our focus is an oral thin film medicinal dosage platform called CUREfilm®, which is a stamp-sized oral dissolving film that makes taking medications or supplements easier for children, the elderly and anyone who dislikes swallowing pills. However, from a technology perspective, we are always looking for synergies with other unique delivery forms that can augment and diversify our platform. As a company we seek and push for innovation to strengthen the technology.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
All of our projects are exciting, but some are more exciting. My favorite project is also one that I can’t talk much about except to say that it’s a combination of our technology with another to leverage the strengths of both platforms. It will help people by providing medicine in a convenient, fast and a precise manner.
Another one that’s a bit more public is our work with the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which we believe is the new frontier in medicine. The endocannabinoid pathway is an important regulator of other physiological systems for maintaining their homeostasis. When you can regulate the body, you unlock the potential to treat a host of medical conditions, such as cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis and many other conditions.
Our CUREformTM platform can improve how well our body absorbs medications and supplement so that they work better with less side effects. So, right now, we’re working on adapting this to more precise dosing with different mulecules like terpens and high dose vitamin D3.. We also have a pharmaceutical product that is in the works leveraging the CUREfilm technology as a treatment for erectile dysfunction
Are you currently satisfied with the status quo regarding women in STEM? What specific changes do you think are needed to change the status quo?
In general, one can never be satisfied with the status-quo as then you will become complacent. I think we still have a long way to go for women in STEM and it must start in early childhood education and at home.
Children and girls specifically are brought up with a notion that STEM is hard. My six years old came home one day and told me: “Mom, math is hard.” He is doing addition at school. I quickly told him math is not hard; math is fun because you get a chance to solve a problem like a detective and the more you do it, the better you get at it. For girls it’s worse because these subjects are predominately taught by male teachers and industry-leading positions are held by males, which are factors that subconsciously make us think that STEM is more suited for men. We need more female STEM teachers at all levels and especially in colleges as role models. We also need our male colleagues to actively pursue female candidates for industry and hire them based on merit and not just to meet a diversity quota. The latter without the former usually backfires and worsens the problem in the long run.
Moreover, in today’s society, instead of leveraging social media to overcome this hurdle it only propagates it. Girls who are beautiful and dressed nicely are getting all the “likes” and attention. I would love to see the same happening for a girl who builds a homemade rocketship or a YouTube demonstration by a girl on how to make an electrical circuit, rather than another make-up tutorial. Let’s harness celebrities and youth influencers to break the stigma not just by showing up in ad campaigns but rather as social impact programs that are long term.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Be yourself, treat your team with respect and create a safe space for them to express their thoughts. Leverage the strengths that you have and mentor your team to grow and be leaders. Leading by example is the best approach to accomplish that.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
The bigger the team, the bigger the challenge. I would probably divide the big team to small teams with unique initiatives and goals. For each team, assign a leader, and delegate the responsibilities to them. If you gathered good talent, you need to give them space to operate, don’t micro-manage them. Let them learn and make their own mistakes doing non-critical assignments, followed by constructive feedback. Then, when you need them to step up you are confident they will be successful on their own.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I can’t attribute one single person or one individual story that helped me along the way; I believe it is the sum of experiences you go through life and what you do with them that propels you.
Sometimes it’s even a stranger that you observed in a situation that helps you grow. I would also like to emphasize that “help” might not necessarily come from a friend or a supporter and its important to acknowledge it so you can learn from it as well. I have one specific example from the STEM world. In Israel at high school there are different levels in math that you can be tested on to graduate. I was at the highest level for math, and my male teacher told me that there is no way I would pass the exam and that I should go down a level. Needless to say I felt insulted and was annoyed, and thus determined to prove him wrong. I switched teachers (to another male math teacher, as it would be) and graduated with a perfect score. My lesson from this was if you believe in yourself don’t let others define your abilities, but instead use it as a motivator to grow.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I believe our company has been successful at bringing goodness to the world by enabling people to experience supplements, and soon medicine, in a much more effective and pleasant way, which I’m proud to have a part in. This way they will adhere to their treatment and have a better quality of life. I think that alone brings goodness to the world.
Personally, I try to pay forward what I have learned from my successes as well as failures so others can hopefully learn from it and become better people and better at their craft.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience as a Woman in STEM” and why learned (Please share a story or example for each.)
That’s a very big question, and I will try to touch on one aspect at least with each of the below lessons:
Present sound and logical ideas.
I found that this approach builds respect with your team and your managers. No-one can fault you for a good, structured idea even if they disagree.
2. Strive for objectivity in hard decision-making, yet leverage your empathy in delivering them.
Growing in the STEM world, objectivity is inert to our mode of operation. Being a woman, we have a greater innate capacity for empathy than men. Hence, we should combine the two as we manage. The majority of the time, it’s not the actual decision that aggravates people but rather the delivery. As a result, we should harness the ability to relate to the person and situation to get the message across in a constructive fashion.
3. Uphold your team members and colleagues to the same standards, irrespective of their gender.
The “working mom” status is a good example. Don’t task your “working mom” employee with easier, smaller tasks because you think she might not meet deadlines due to other commitments (such as her children and home obligations). This approach will create both resentments in the team for unfair assignments of responsibilities and will be demotivating for the “working mom” as it may send the message that she is not capable of performing her duties. It’s a lose-lose situation.
4. Be comfortable with the unknown.
Unfortunately, a lot of women in STEM think that knowing all the answers gives them credibility and proves their worth. During my training as a scientist I learned that the unknown is greater than the known and this equation actually breeds creativity and collaboration. Being able to admit to a certain amount of uncertainty and reach out for help are strengths that lead to better answers.
5. Manage each team member individually according to their style.
In academia, because students are coming from all over the world, you are exposed to such diversity in cultures and thoughts that it magnifies how humans are different. In the leadership/management world, I translated this into how two people, for example, cannot be managed the same. As a leader you will do better in mentoring and growing your team if you adapt your style to their style and not vice versa even if the latter seems easier. You need to find what makes them tick and what form of feedback is constructive.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I want to be more involved in movements against human trafficking, specifically children and teenagers. No child should be robbed of their childhood and innocence. I have tried several times to reach out to the Polaris group for bigger involvement than donations, but with no success. I’m working to figure out a different approach to get through or a similar organization to contribute my time and skills to advance the mission. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I keep a long list of quotes that speak to me; I gather them with time. It’s very hard to choose only one, but I think in our context this one by Theodore Roosevelt encompasses my creed: “Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”
I think my time during my Ph.D. and at CURE reflects this perfectly and I see myself as very fortunate. The beauty of this quote is that you don’t feel you are working or “just doing your job” because you are contributing to something bigger and better. I find myself spending some of my free time reading and educating myself on topics that are “work-related” while in actuality it’s my passion and I know that it will culminate in something worthwhile. It’s relevancy to me is in the perseverance that comes with work worth doing — it allows you to prevail and keep going when there are failures.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Yes, I would like to meet PepsiCo former CEO Indra Nooyi. I think she was a true outlier in her time, successfully leading a fortune 500 company in a man’s world both in her executive team and the board room. I’d love to pick her brain on how she got to that position, navigated the water and to hear her best lessons learned; I think it would be of great value.
The Future is Now: “Now we can increase mining efficiency, to eventually shift our reliance off oil and gas” with Thor Kallestad of DataCloud
A more data-driven efficiency in mining is the only way the industry will be able to keep up with the demand in switching society’s reliance off oil and gas.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Thor Kallestad. Thor is a former Schlumberger Anadrill Field Engineer turned founder and CEO of DataCloud; a company that improves mining productivity with high-resolution, real-time rock mass characterization services. Upon leaving Schlumberger, Thor worked as a drill site manager and led corporate development and commercial efforts for an E&P startup. He has a Petroleum Engineering Diploma from Heriot-Watt University and an MBA from the University of California, Berkeley.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Like many of the the DataCloud team members I started my career in the oil and gas industry. I saw seismic technology being used there with great success to increase production and improve ultimate recoveries. When we realized that no one was providing this level of high-resolution, real-time information in mining, we saw the opportunity to use our experience and knowledge to create and introduce something truly game-changing for the field. The timing was also perfect; it was becoming financially and technologically feasible to modify the technology and make it work for a cost and at a speed that the mining industry would require.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I believe that luck and networking are a big part of getting ahead in life. The mining industry is quite large, yet somehow small at the same time, you tend to run into big players more often than you’d think. Recently, I was telling a good friend of mine from grad school that we were doing some work for a certain company and turns out he knows the owners from childhood. When those big connections happen from simply talking to someone you already know about something you truly believe in, it makes things more than interesting; it makes them feel as if you were destined to be doing what you’re doing.
Can you tell us about the “Bleeding edge” technological breakthroughs that you are working on? How do you think that will help people?
Plenty of companies help mines measure geology down blast holes. What’s different about DataCloud is that we are the first to develop a technology to provide direct measurements for rock mass evaluation at such a high-resolution and within a time frame that enables mining operations to improve productivity at great strides. We do this by requiring no extra steps of our clients; no wireline logging trucks or surface seismic efforts are required. During their drill and blast operations we deliver a superior orebody understanding for efficient mine planning, and an increase in throughput and recovery. Utilizing seismic while drilling sensors and cloud-based geostatistic data processing, we have been able to equip mines with real-time, high-resolution rock insights to unlock Industry 4.0 for mining clients.
How do you think this might change the world?
The rock mass characterization that the DataCloud Platform provides mine planners and geologists the tools to move past tedious excel-based math, and low resolution geomodels, to supervising the autonomous generation of high-resolution orebody models. They will have more time to focus on the bigger picture. We are also providing the infrastructure for additional advancements in measurements to be easily implemented. A more data-driven efficiency in mining is the only way the industry will be able to keep up with the demand in switching society’s reliance off oil and gas.
Keeping “Black Mirror” in mind can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?
I could see a future in which the optimization of data collection and processing has become so automated we’ve forgotten all the handwritten, time consuming, inefficient analysis of data, of trying to understand the rock. It could get a bit science fiction-y if the artificial intelligence and machine learning we’ve implemented slowly became sentient and started strategically hiding resources to control where we conduct mining operations for what ‘it’ believed was best for Earth. Don’t’ worry, we did not name our technology HAL.
Was there a “tipping point” that led you to this breakthrough? Can you tell us that story?
When we started to develop a technology that looked similar to what we knew in oil and gas; one that involved geophones, arrays, and measuring arrivals, waveforms and transit times. We faced the music quickly as there was no pragmatic way to deploy geophones in a drill and blast setting. This is what led us to instead develop our own proprietary IoT seismic while drilling hardware and software that gets much of the same acoustic information, but it does so from interpreting vibrations in the drill steel, rather than by relying on geophones. In both cases, the drill bit remains the sound source, but with a sensor on the drill, they can measure lithology changes while drilling blast holes, a major part of their operations already taking place; adding no steps to workflow.
What do you need to lead this technology to widespread adoption?
The industry is very cautious about implementing new technology, and frankly, does not have a rich history of innovation. But that is changing. Proof of measurement accuracy, operational efficiency, and safe service delivery goes a long way. At the same time, quickly adopting new technologies can advance a company to surpass their goals and open up new opportunities for efficiencies, so they need to take that leap with confidence and allow us to show them what our technology is capable of doing.
What have you been doing to publicize this idea? Have you been using any innovative marketing strategies?
One of the core messages we try to communicate is that we are not about “disrupting the industry”. The majority of new services in mining talk about “disrupting” this and that. We don’t need to disrupt anything to revolutionize operations. DataCloud technology simply gives companies the high-quality, accurate, and reliable information they need to optimize drill and blast operations without adding extra steps to their workflow. We typically deliver this information right into client block models, whereafter they decide when and how to act on the improved, new orebody information.
We attend and present our case studies at major conferences. They are great places to speak face to face with decision makers and learn from the community.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Ricus Grimbeek. Ricus is a true visionary in the industry. He’s the President and CEO of Trevali and has strong views that adopting and quickly implementing proven, new technology is a competitive advantage. He’s also been a great advisor for us. Another “Black Mirror” thought would be to clone him so more mining companies could be led by such a great example for what the future of mining could look like.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
In short, transparency in knowledge and bringing world-class talent together. Everyday we learn how we can progress our technology to be easier to adopt for miners and deliver even more useful insights to geoscience and drill and blast professionals. We have experts all over the world working together to solve some of the mining industry’s key challenges, and the best part is they all feed off each other’s progress. We are very good about sharing our learnings internally and moving quickly to make technology advances available to the market. We get smarter with every solution provided, and that only makes our services more useful to all clients.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
The sales cycle in mining is brutally long. We were expecting a sales cycle that looked more like what we knew in oil and gas, and in Silicon Valley. We didn’t know new technology takes about 18+ month to sell to large mining companies
Don’t let anything stop your momentum. Lulls are a part of the cycle, but you don’t want to contribute to them by taking your foot off the gas in evolving in anyway. Keep learning, keep moving, keep networking, keep going.
Start-ups can’t afford a big ego. Even if someone personally attacks you or your team, let it go to focus your energy on helping to improve the team and your product.
Celebrate even small successes, fully. It feels amazing to see big projects come together. But those big projects only came together one small success after another.
Surround yourself with positive, helpful, creative teammates. They are your company and your product is only as good as the team that puts it together.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
A contagious way to spread healthy, satisfying, and sustainable eating habits.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” — Ben Franklin. And keeping momentum and building a company, I’d have to also acknowledge Craig Finn and the Hold Steady, when they sing, “stay positive.”
Some very well known VCs read this column. If you had 60 seconds to make a pitch to a VC, what would you say? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Building a scalable, real-time, rock mass evaluation technology that becomes commonplace during drill and blast operations, can have transformative effects on the productivity, environmental profile, and social license to operate for the entire mining industry. This development would have far reaching positive impacts on the planet, and the speed and efficiency at which society transitions to renewable sources of energy. Helping make this happen would be a far more enlightened use of capital (the returns will be great too!) than chasing internet related technology fads. Contact me to hear more about how you can help support a big bet that will leave the world a much better place for your grandchildren.
Lessons From Inspirational Women in STEM: “Everywhere there are men, there should be an equitable amount of women; Until that happens, nothing will be the best that it can be” with Ashlee Ammons & Candice Georgiadis
Everywhere there are men, there should be an equitable amount of women. Until that happens, nothing will be the best that it can be. We need more diverse teams (and by diverse I mean diversity in gender, race, sexual orientation, political party, etc.) in order to continue to drive projects and industries forward and continue to make things better. We need to allow diverse people to have a seat at the table to challenge, rather than to uphold the status quo when needed.
As a part of my series featuring accomplished women in STEM, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ashlee Ammons, Co-founder and President of Mixtroz. Mixtroz was founded in 2015 by Ashlee and her mom, Kerry Schrader. Mixtroz is a software company that creates a community anywhere that 50 or more people are gathered using the power of technology coupled with face-to-face engagement. Following remarkable progress in 2017, Team Mixtroz kicked off 2018 by joining Alabama’s prestigious Velocity Accelerator. In May 2018, the duo was selected to pitch to AOL Co-Founder Steve Case during the Rise of the Rest® tour stop in Birmingham, AL and secured a $100,000 investment from Cases’ Revolution Fund. The team went on to close a $1M round of funding, making them the 37th and 38th black females to ever close a million-dollar round of funding.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
In 2014, I went to a conference to network and I had a firsthand experience with how awkward it is to make real connections with people in the digital age we’re living in. At the time, I was working in the hospitality industry and wanted to meet people within the beauty and fashion industries. I felt super awkward and uncomfortable while trying to make personal connections with people based on them having the same color dot as me on their name tag as suggested by the event host. I started talking to my mom, Kerry, about this and together we decided there has to be a better way to meet people authentically in this day and age, so, we came up with Mixtroz over the course of one night.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began at your company?
Something really interesting that happened to Kerry and I since we started Mixtroz was at Collision (a tech conference) back in 2017. At Collision, we met Beth McKeon who would later head up the Velocity Accelerator in Birmingham. We were at a point with Mixtroz where we had tapped out many of our funding channels and were almost ready to give up and go back to our “normal” jobs. However, because we literally collided with Beth at Collision, we were able to reconnect with her and ultimately land a spot in the accelerator. Through Velocity and the networks we penetrated in Birmingham we received the funding we needed in order to keep Mixtroz moving forward. There is so much power in networking; we believe that anyone can be 1 degree of separation away from someone who can change the course of their life personally or professionally and that is exactly what happened with Mixtroz.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
In the tech industry and dealing with an app, especially one like Mixtroz where we have the ability to interact with the people using the app, you definitely run into some interesting situations. People often come us to us, regardless of how tech savvy they are, and ask us questions about features of the app or how to fully leverage different functionality within the app. Sometimes they will even just toss their phones to us without any thought and ask us to help them with something. One funny situation I ran into was a time where a person tossed me their phone without giving it a second thought and they had some personal items opened on their phone. I was really embarrassed for them and myself and tried to close out of it without them knowing. From that moment forward, I learned not to just take peoples phones and help them but to offer them support verbally while walking them through whatever their question is. However, the app is super simple to use and you definitely don’t need a Mixtroz representative at your event. If there is a Mixtroz rep there, attendees or organizers tend to lean on them as a crutch rather than trying to troubleshoot or work through things on their own.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Mixtroz is unique because we are not a technology company for technology’s sake, but we are a technology company built for humans’ sake. My mom and I come from HR and event production backgrounds respectively and with these experiences we thought through the development of our app through a different lens. We were able to build a technology for humans with humans in mind FIRST instead of making something for the sake of being cool. At its core, Mixtroz is a technology that makes human connections better. Its purpose is to improve how humans collide and connect within a digital age.
A great example of this is from a recent mix. Within a group, there was a woman who was in law school and was mentioning to her group how there was a judge in New Orleans she really wanted to connect with because she had an interest in clerking for them. A man in the same group knew that this particular judge was in the same room and knew him personally, so he went ahead and made the connection between the woman and the judge in real time at the event. We have countless examples of this and this story is an illustration of our core beliefs. People need connection and Mixtroz is the tool that easily and efficiently facilitates it.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
There is always something exciting happening with Mixtroz. We recently released a new iteration of the app which was directly based on the feedback that we’d received from customers across events, enterprise, and education over time. My mom and I attended over 200+ Mixtroz events which helped us to learn exactly what customers and their attendees want to see within our platform. It’s a page from the Airbnb startup manual, learn from your customers and build for what they want and are willing to pay for opposed to what you think they want, this is critical.
Are you currently satisfied with the status quo regarding women in STEM? What specific changes do you think are needed to change the status quo?
NO! Honestly, as it stands today, if Kerry or I hear a story about an African American female tech duo in the south, it’s probably about us. This shouldn’t be the case! Everywhere there are men, there should be an equitable amount of women. Until that happens, nothing will be the best that it can be. We need more diverse teams (and by diverse I mean diversity in gender, race, sexual orientation, political party, etc.) in order to continue to drive projects and industries forward and continue to make things better. We need to allow diverse people to have a seat at the table to challenge, rather than to uphold the status quo when needed.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
My advice to boss ladies is always allow people to shine where they are at today. While building our Mixtroz team we have needed to be scrappy and smart about who we’ve hired in order to save runway while remaining as efficient as we possibly can be. We come across people all the time who have interest in Mixtroz. Even if they don’t have a Silicon Valley startup background, if they are hungry, competent and use their street smarts as well as passionate about our product and our mission we believe they can learn the rest if they’re willing. I’m a fan of taking a chance on people who may not have the sexiest background because they are talented in their own way and deserve to be given that chance to shine. On the other side, if it’s not working, with this approach you have to be willing to fail fast and pivot.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Hands down, I’d like to give credit to the city of Birmingham, personified. We started Mixtroz in Nashville where it felt like they were just scratching the surface with diversity and inclusion. In Nashville, before we were able to have a conversation with people, we always felt like we had to answer a pop quiz of sorts to determine if we were worthy of having a seat at the table. Once we got to Birmingham it felt so much more inclusive and we were welcomed and supported from the start and they were more interested in what the business could do and could bring to the city. Birmingham was all about supporting Mixtroz if it made business sense and the rest is history.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Every day, we strive to use our success to bring goodness to the world. In the beginning of Mixtroz, we were just trying to solve a problem. We didn’t think about the implications of a “millennial plus” and millennial working together or what the impact of sharing the story of our startup could or would do. Now, we’ve realized that we can be a beacon to people who want to take a risk but are on the fence. We strive to share our story of the highs and lows that we’ve been through in order to inspire others to take the leap of starting their own business. We found it was helpful to see someone we identified with when deciding to take the risk for ourselves. We find that for many women, people of color or people who don’t match the entrepreneurial status quo our story is relatable and that allows more people to take the risk and to be successful in doing so.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience as a Woman in STEM” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Always Be Respectful — It should go without saying but respect of others is key, especially in STEM where everyone has an opinion. I’ve learned to keep it simple — when I disagree with someone on something I defer to whoever has the greater expertise in the relevant area, keep calm and carry on.
Set Boundaries — I love to box and for me, boxing is non-negotiable me time. Unless I have a customer meeting I make sure I dress for the gym, so I never have an excuse for work to get in the way of my me time. Once I take the time to get the workout I need, I come home and get back to work.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Get the Best of You — Entrepreneurs hate to show weakness to themselves or to others. Being able to celebrate successes and overcome failures and have frank conversations without getting overly emotional is key. Every moment is an opportunity to focus and make the best of whatever situation comes your way.
Family Comes First — When you’re building a business it can be all-consuming. Be sure to make time to create memories. My mom and I recently took a trip with the family to Disney World. We don’t want to miss out on the important moments with our family or have them feel like our work is more important than them. Full disclosure, we bring our laptops just in case but it’s totally worth it to not miss out on the moments with family because if you miss them, you’ll never have the chance to relive that very moment exactly how it was again.
Health is Everything — Struggles with breast cancer and depression respectively taught my mom and I this lesson. It is not easy to prioritize being and staying healthy when you are in a frenzy to get your startup off the ground, but life has a way of reigning you in. Health truly is everything — make self-care a priority and never skip your medical check-ups, it could save your life. If the process to building your business is making you miserable, something is wrong. Evaluate and seek help if needed.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
The movement I would facilitate would be the ability to talk to everyone. We are living in a time where a lot of people are scared of the unknown. People need to have more empathy for people who are not like themselves and this comes from talking to people who are not like us. Today, I don’t feel like people take enough time to understand others in a true and authentic way. We’re missing out on connection which is really a basic human need. Mixtroz is helping with this in its own way. This technology allows us to get back to the basics, removing unconscious bias to talk to others as they are, humans. Mixtroz allows people to see you how you see yourself. We are able to find commonalities with people who may be really different from us and have a conversation in a super authentic way.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“You can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed. “ — Misty Copeland
This quote embodies everything about my mom and I and how we started Mixtroz. My mom is a boomer (she calls this millennial plus), we’re African American females, we were uncertain at the start and today we’ve found success. This is something that I repeat day in and day out, in stride with both the highs and lows.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I would love to chat with Sarah Blakely, founder of Spanx. Before she started Spanx, she was a door-to-door fax machine salesperson. However, she found a fashion problem and she decided that even though she didn’t know the most about fashion she did care the most to solve the problem. This is just like Kerry and I and how we started Mixtroz. We didn’t know the most about technology, but we did care the most to solve the problem.
I’d love to talk about entrepreneurship, women empowerment and the first degree connections that we have in common with her 😉
Not to mention how Mixtroz can work for Spanx #alwaysbeselling
As a part of my interview series with prominent medical professionals about “How To Grow Your Private Practice,” I had the pleasure of interviewingJulia Getzelman, M.D. Julia founded GetzWell Personalized Pediatrics in 2008 with a passionate commitment to bring pediatric functional medicine to San Francisco. She is board certified in pediatrics and is a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics. In 2007 she completed the core curriculum of the Institute for Functional Medicine and has additional training in applied nutritional biochemistry/food as medicine as well as in using genetic polymorphisms as a foundation for treating a variety of chronic health problems like ADHD, anxiety, behavior issues, and autoimmunity.
Thank you so much for joining us, Julia! Can you tell our readers a bit about your ‘backstory”?
Over the dozen years since I established GetzWell Personalized Pediatrics in San Francisco, we have developed a highly successful and fundamentally different kind of medical approach, empowering parents with the information necessary to prevent disease — and even cure illness — largely by raising their awareness of food’s powerful impact on their children and its potential to both harm and to heal. But it really all started with a garden in the middle of Los Angeles in the 1970s.
There are so many things my parents said and did during my childhood that I look back at as life-long gifts that have taught me more than I could have ever imagined: insisting on piano lessons starting at age five, teaching me to navigate the LA public transportation system (such as it was), and “strongly suggesting” I spend a fair bit of my precious summer break learning to sew with my great aunt — just to name a few.
I’m immensely grateful for those opportunities. But, in the end, the warp and woof of me were most influenced by my father’s garden and the chickens we raised in the foothills of Los Angeles, in full view of the crowded 134 freeway. I was fortunate to grow up in a family with a fundamental belief in food’s ability to make you sick or keep you well. “You are what you eat,” was the family mantra.
I can still see the coffee tin that sat near the kitchen sink, slightly the worse for wear, overflowing with food scraps and eggshells. At the end of each day, its contents were added to the compost pile — which Dad rigorously tended for use as fertilizer for the vegetable garden and fruit trees — or was offered to our lucky, egg-producing chickens. Most evenings, Mom would ask one of us to go out and pick a head of lettuce — our modest contribution to the night’s fresh, nutritious salad — a dinner staple.
Granted, I just wanted to eat warmed-up Swanson TV-dinners like “normal” families — how I longed for those shiny trays with individual compartments neatly dividing the steaming peas from the breaded chicken pucks and perfectly sculpted mashed potatoes. But, when a teen from our neighborhood was diagnosed with cancer, my mother was convinced it was due to all the preservatives in the processed food and soda the young girl had lived, in particular. Forevermore, we read labels, avoided Red Dye #2 and all other additives that Mom intuited were unnatural and harmful. We shopped mostly at the local “health food” store. This was just how our family did things and, at the time, I had no idea what an indelible mark this would leave on me.
Today, I’m a pediatrician with a unique practice focused on applied nutritional science — aka functional medicine. When I first learned from credible sources that food is more than just calories and that it delivers information able to impact us at the level of our DNA, I just about did cartwheels. The science supported what Mom and Dad had said all along — that the most powerful medicine we had access to was already on our dinner plates!
Take Daniel, a morbidly obese and volatile 3-year-old, who could barely bend over far enough to reach his feet in order to put his shoes on. His former pediatrician had referred him to a hospital dietician with a six-month wait-list who recommended little more than merely counting calories. This yielded no improvement in Daniel’s weight, nor did it reduce his severe tantrums.
Desperate for help, Daniel’s mother and grandmother sought me out for advice. We discussed, among other things, why the number of calories Daniel consumed was only one part of the equation; the carbohydrates and juices (provided with the best of healthful intentions) in his diet, not the fat, were the likely culprits.
When Daniel returned three months later, I was ecstatic to see incredible improvements in his weight and mood. He was lighter and moved with greater ease. And his mother was convinced that he liked his new way of eating. “He feels better because his moods are more stable. He’s happy now,” she told me. Daniel’s life will now likely unfold in a profoundly different way, both physically and social-emotionally.
I’ve enjoyed so many similarly fulfilling experiences with children who have benefited from this “food-as-medicine” approach to their care. Sean was two years old when I met him, the son of a very bright and successful couple. He could only speak three words, a severe delay in speech development. Sean also suffered from chronic nasal congestion, and his worried parents explained, “It just seems like the lights are always on dim.”
Sean’s parents were resistant to the idea that something as simple as food could be both the problem and the solution. It took some time to convince them to commit to significant changes in their way of eating. But, once they did, in the matter of a few short weeks, Sean was speaking in full sentences. “For the first time in his life, his nose isn’t running!” his mother rejoiced. Fast forward three years to one of Sean’s wellness visits, with me trying hard to re-establish a rapport as we now only have annual visits. Sean, now an articulate and funny five-year-old, quipped, “Is this a check-up or a chat-up?” I was barely able to stifle a burst of laughter.
Our national medical model is still two generations behind the science. So many chronic illnesses that fundamentally impact the quality of life of millions go unaided — in fact, are exacerbated — by our “one-ill-one-pill” construct of care, dictated largely by pharmaceutical and insurance companies. Fatigue, joint pains, headaches/migraines, ADHD, anxiety and skin rashes — these are all examples of ailments that most people (and their doctors) would never imagine have anything to do with what they put in their mouths.
What made you want to start your own practice?
After getting my medical degree from Yale and training at one of the highest-ranking clinical residency programs in the West, I was an idealistic pediatrician determined to help children and their families achieve optimal health. However, what I encountered after finishing my training was a fractured system necessitating “15-minute-medicine” and an approach that was so rote it seemed like it could have been carried out by an intelligent primate.
Before opening GetzWell Personalized Pediatrics, I worked in several poorly managed outpatient settings where I had no say in how things were run. In most of the group practices I encountered, the doctors worked under one roof but there was no cohesion, little communication, and sometimes the physicians didn’t even like each other. During medical school I’d decided on a career in pediatrics, in part, because I felt a synergy with pediatricians. But in the “real world” that didn’t necessarily bear out. Ultimately, I felt like I was a cog in a system that needing major fixing. I was authentically invested in helping families achieve true wellness, but there was little support or reward for my investment–it felt like it didn’t really matter if it was me or another warm body putting in the hours.
Furthermore, I became bored and deeply disappointed by the kind of medicine I was practicing. The one-ill-one-pill paradigm and poor insurance reimbursement in pediatrics — -the lowest among the medical specialties — -left little room for critical thinking, adequate time, or treating each patient as a unique human being with unique health needs. I became determined to create a practice where I could deliver the kind of care I wanted for myself and my family. Founding GetzWell was the best decision I ever made.
Managing being a provider and a business owner can often be exhausting. Can you elaborate on how you manage(d) both roles?
This is a tough one — -I enjoy both roles equally. It’s a constant balancing act between managing the practice and caring for patients. It’s as though I gave birth to GetzWell 12 years ago — -the practice, like a child, requires a significant amount of time, patience, and energy to nurture, but the rewards make it all worthwhile.
I also continue to expand my knowledge of the latest studies in functional medicine — which is shifting the paradigm of what we understand about health — -allowing me to get to the root causes of illness instead of focusing solely on symptom suppression with pharmaceuticals, which is typical in mainstream medicine. I’m personally seeing fewer primary care patients now–-the rest of my amazing team does that — -and instead I am focusing on patients with complex health challenges whom I have a set of unique skills to help.
For example, I’m now seeing kids and adults with ADHD, anxiety, autoimmunity, etc. who want to address the underlying causes of these health issues in order to fundamentally heal. My clinical toolbox has grown by leaps and bounds in the last decade, and I’m using resources like 23andMe which provides individual genetic data enabling me to personalize treatment plans like never before.
As a business owner, how do you know when to stop working IN your business (maybe see a full patient load) and shift to working ON your business?
Successful business owners need to be hands-on and able to respond quickly to what’s happening. One impetus for founding GetzWell was the dysfunctional settings I’d worked in prior. I will never forget the time front office staff of a practice where I was filling in yelled at the owner — -the whole scene was so wrong. This experience, as well as the pervasive lack of respect and tension in other offices in which I’d been employed, made me determined to foster a positive environment for the GetzWell team. As GetzWell’s CEO I’m present and observant, have an open-door policy with my staff, and nurture a culture of teamwork and respect that I know translates to the care of our patients.
From completing your degree to opening a clinic and becoming a business owner, the path was obviously full of many hurdles. How did you build up resilience to rebound from failures? Is there a specific hurdle that sticks out to you?
There are always hurdles, and frankly, it’s the challenges along the way that have made me stronger and more resilient. I think opening one’s own medical practice in the current managed care dominant environment requires a lot of grit and commitment. Hanging out your shingle just doesn’t happen that often anymore, particularly in primary care, because of the insurance reimbursement structure and other factors. So rebounding is kind of already in the DNA of those who actually take the leap.
What are your “5 Things You Need to Know To Grow Your Private Practice” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Keep overhead low.
This sounds obvious, but many make the mistake of aiming too high with fancy office space, large staffs, and expensive electronic health records systems. It’s essential to see how the practice evolves, how quickly it grows. Start small and expand from there. I had a friend who tried to get a practice off the ground in another city and failed because of having made too significant an investment upfront.
2. Be humble and nimble.
Like I’ve said, you need to respond quickly to demands, make changes and be in an almost constant evolution mode. As the owner, I am always prepared to wear many hats and am never too proud to wipe down dirty doorknobs or pick up a phone that’s ringing.
3. Hire well, but when you make a mistake, cut your losses quickly.
I’ve had to learn this the hard way and on occasion have made the error of keeping employees around too long. This in one case led to a drag on morale that resulted significant staffing issues in the practice. This was a stressful time and I learned a lot about myself and what’s important to me and GetzWell.
4. Have a strong website.
In today’s world this seems obvious, but there are a lot of terrible websites out there. I have actually had people tell me they joined the practice because they loved GetzWell’s website!
5. Don’t take insurance.
Being out of network has allowed me to realize my dream and to practice medicine utilizing the latest science in real time. I don’t have bean counters from the for-profit insurance world telling me how much or little time I can spend with patients, which procedures I can or can’t do, or whether house calls for newborns are cost-effective. Additionally, I don’t have a team of people dealing with insurance claims submissions, denials, and all the attendant hassles of being in network. To quote Chris Hayes from MSNBC, “Every last thing about medical billing absolutely sucks even if you have good insurance. My god.”
Many healthcare providers struggle with the idea of “monetization.” How did you overcome that mental block?
My father was a medical professional and small business owner, and he influenced me more than I could have known at the time. As a result, I’m fortunate to be able to say that I rarely experience that kind of a block. I agree, however, that it isn’t something that comes naturally to most physicians.
What do you do when you feel unfocused or overwhelmed?
Physical exercise has always been one of my best forms of therapy. I used to be a runner, but not any longer — -I’m a walker! A brisk walk usually helps tremendously. Sometimes at the end of a particularly challenging day, I’ll take 15 minutes and lie on one of the exam tables and meditate. That also allows me to reset, focus, and increase my productivity.
I’m a huge fan of mentorship throughout one’s career — None of us is able to achieve success without some help along the way. Who has been your biggest mentor? What was the most valuable lesson you learned from them?
I’ve had the opportunity to learn from several outstanding individuals who supported me through many of the ups and downs associated with running a growing pediatrics practice.
One in particular: a man with whom I’ve developed a lifelong bond, is a successful OB/GYN and entrepreneur himself. Time constraints aside, he is always available to share experiences, voice concerns, and help negotiate resolutions in a transparent and encouraging manner. Integrity, sensitivity, and clear communication — -these describe this exceptional individual and qualities I strive to possess in my role as CEO of GetzWell Personalized Pediatrics.
What resources did you use (Blogs, webinars, conferences, coaching, etc.) that helped jumpstart you in the beginning of your business?
The Institute for Functional Medicine
Center for Mind-Body Medicine
DrHyman.com
What’s the worst piece of advice or recommendation you’ve ever received? Can you share a story about that?
I was a one-woman show. I started my practice from scratch and was motivated to try new — and sometimes unorthodox — ways of doing things. I was inspired by the appealing promises of the new “share economy.” I had this grand idea that I could be environmentally conscious and save some money by using City Car Share for everything from getting office supplies to doing house calls. So, I sold my car.
At the same time, I had committed that every newborn entering my practice would have their first visit at home. What started as a great idea ended up with me schlepping a baby scale and other necessities for newborn house calls to the nearest City Car. But it turned out that cars which seemed so close on my phone’s tiny screen weren’t that close after all (especially with all the stuff I had to carry).
Sweaty and harried, I would finally arrive at the often-dirty car, running late and needing to race off to the next appointment. I suffered through this self-inflicted hellscape for a couple of months until it became clear that, in addition to the severe inconvenience, it would have cost me far less to lease my own luxury auto! I drive my own car now and take a Lyft in a pinch.
Please recommend one book that’s made the biggest impact on you?
InGod’s Hotel, Dr. Victoria Sweet discusses her experiences at Laguna Honda Hospital in San Francisco back when it functioned much like an almshouse for those who had fallen on hard times. She describes practicing a kind of “slow medicine” that has basically vanished in today’s version of medical care.
Slow medicine. That’s what I decided I wanted to be able to provide for families and especially for kids. I tell people GetzWell Pediatrics is like your old-fashioned neighborhood doctor armed with all the best modern tools. We provide newborn house calls, support for breastfeeding, and hour-long wellness visits. In short, we really get to know our families. The national average for a pediatric visit is twelve minutes — this results in a lot of doctor burn-out and even more unhappy patients. Sharing critical and often complex information takes time. At GetzWell, nobody is rushed.
The Future Is Now: “Now we can use AI and 3D printing to quickly make new hardware components” with Jeremy Herrman and Fotis Georgiadis
It is common for large companies to push code updates dozens or even hundreds of times a day. This speed of iteration is akin to corporate metabolism and varies greatly depending on the industry. Manufacturing time is a huge part of why hardware companies have iteration cycles on the order of weeks to months. Our mission at Plethora is to accelerate the pace of high-quality CNC machining, reducing the iteration time and increasing corporate metabolism for hardware companies. Ultimately, this means that new products like self-driving cars or life-saving surgical robots are delivered faster.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Jeremy Herrman, co-founder of Plethora. As a leading company in the emerging field of Manufacturing as a Service, Plethora utilizes cutting edge algorithms and AI to automate manufacturing processes, starting with CNC machining. Jeremy co-founded Plethora in 2013 and has since raised over $40M to make advanced manufacturing faster and more accessible to all.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Jeremy! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
One fortuitous night in the summer of 2008, a new friend popped open the trunk of his car and handed me three strange objects, setting off a chain of events that eventually led to a cross-country career change and the birth of a company.
The first object my future Plethora co-founder, Nick Pinkston, handed me was a complex plastic lattice structure about the size of an apple, whose fragile thin connectors were broken in some places. Nick told me that this part was produced through a type of 3D printing called Fused Deposition Modeling (FDM), where plastic filament is melted and precisely deposited, layer by layer, until a finished part emerges, sort of like a computer-controlled glue gun.
The second object was a two-link chain made of strong, translucent plastic links. Although each link was a separate piece, they both were created simultaneously in a single 3D print job thanks to the oldest version of 3D printing called Stereolithography (SLA), where a vat of photosensitive liquid resin is cured to hardness with precision light sources.
The final object was the most impressive — a hollow metal sphere with a hexagonal lattice surface that acted as a cage for a small metal ball within. I noticed there was no hole large enough for anything to get inside of the sphere, so I asked him how that metal ball got in there. His answer was, of course, 3D printing! This time in the form of Selective Laser Sintering (SLS), where a laser fuses small particles of metal powder one layer at a time until the desired shape emerges.
All three of those objects represented designs that are extremely difficult or impossible to produce with traditional manufacturing processes, and that fascinated me. After that encounter, I threw myself into the world of 3D printing, scanning and modeling, which ultimately led me to a career in digital manufacturing.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
When we were first starting Plethora, less than a week after I quit my previous job and before any investment had been raised, my co-founder and I were scheduled to present at a conference and introduce our company to the world and industry leaders. I really wanted to show them the latest capabilities of the alpha version of our software for instant manufacturability feedback, so I stayed up late several nights leading up to the live demonstration programming it. The alpha version wasn’t perfect, but it was able to show our vision in a real way.
During the presentation, about three-quarters of the way through our CAD integration demo, something bad happened: we encountered a glitch and crashed Autodesk Inventor — right in front of Autodesk’s CEO!
Luckily, we had already shown off most of our demo, which was impressive enough to spur a follow-up meeting with Autodesk and which eventually led to a $250K investment in our seed round. We used that money to hire a great team and I’m proud to say that we now have the best instant manufacturability analysis in the industry.
That experience taught me some important lessons. The first is that live demos are usually a bad idea. The second and more important lesson is that waiting until things are perfect can result in missing great opportunities.
Can you tell us about the “Bleeding edge” technological breakthroughs that you are working on? How do you think that will help people?
Plethora is an industry leader in the automation of CNC machining, a subtractive process where the final part is cut away one chip at a time from a block of metal or plastic, like a computer-controlled sculptor.
Despite many decades of progress in machine and software automation, CNC machining has a dirty secret: creating the machine instructions requires hours to days of manual work from highly-skilled machine programmers. In addition to programming the machines, most parts require custom designed and fabricated support structures known as workholding. The immense amount of effort that goes into producing the first part means most CNC shops have large minimum order quantities, making it difficult for customers who only want to order one or two pieces. At Plethora, we have spent years tackling the toughest problems in subtractive manufacturing with advanced algorithms and AI.
Placing an order for custom machined parts is another big challenge for customers, usually involving emailing files back and forth for days, several phone calls and rejected orders. In order to simplify this process, we’ve created software that can provide instant design feedback and pricing, so clients can upload a 3D model and place an order within seconds. Our goal is to help companies innovate and get to market faster. By designing smarter software and tools to manufacture their parts, we’re enabling them to stay ahead of their competition.
How do you think this might change the world?
My background is in Software Engineering, and in that industry, it is common for large companies to push code updates dozens or even hundreds of times a day. This speed of iteration is akin to corporate metabolism and varies greatly depending on the industry. Manufacturing time is a huge part of why hardware companies have iteration cycles on the order of weeks to months. Our mission at Plethora is to accelerate the pace of high-quality CNC machining, reducing the iteration time and increasing corporate metabolism for hardware companies. Ultimately, this means that new products like self-driving cars or life-saving surgical robots are delivered faster.
Keeping “Black Mirror” in mind can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?
“Black Mirror” does a great job of following existing technologies to their dystopic extreme. These technologies typically have many uses, with the classic dual-use example of nuclear technology for both civilian (nuclear power) and military (nuclear bombs). Artificial Intelligence has been dubbed an “omni-use” technology since it has applications in civilian, military and commercial areas, and there’s no shortage of fear, uncertainty and doubt about the future of AI, some of which “Black Mirror” has already covered. The tools of invention and manufacturing are also omni-use technologies, and the controversial example of 3D printed guns has shown us a glimpse of what’s possible when anyone can make anything easily.
While I think it’s essential to consider the downsides of omni-use technology and discourage misuse through certain regulations, we can’t accept the status quo with our current generation of manufacturing technology. In a way, we’re living our own episode of “Black Mirror” now where the powers to invent are limited to the rich and educated, and even those who have that ability are presented with persistent roadblocks on the path to a final product. I want that to change!
Was there a “tipping point” that led you to this breakthrough? Can you tell us that story?
My entry point into the world of traditional manufacturing was a bit backward compared to most people: I got my start with 3D printing then learned about how older subtractive processes like CNC machining work. When I was taking my first CNC machining course at TechShop, I expected it to be a similar workflow to 3D printing because both use 3D models as input and machine instruction code as the output.
As our class came to the point of converting the 3D model to machine instructions, I realized that we weren’t in for a push-button experience like in 3D printing. It turned out that it takes many hours using expensive CAM software to program those machine instructions by hand. Additionally, the program’s success is not guaranteed — it’s common to need several iterations that result in hours of wasted time and costly material. It was obvious that this process could be vastly improved with new software, which led to the ideas that helped form Plethora.
What do you think will lead this technology to widespread adoption?
The pace of innovation is unending. Our customers are always looking for ways to stay ahead of the competition. One way is to decrease the cycle time for product iterations so that they can either introduce the product faster than others can or create a better product in the same amount of time. Since manufacturing time significantly impacts product iteration time, I expect any technology reducing that time is destined for widespread adoption.
What have you been doing to publicize this idea? Have you been using any innovative marketing strategies?
Many of our customers are in highly-skilled fields like product design and mechanical engineering. Any outreach to these expert groups must be on point, useful and not tone deaf. As such, we strive to create content that’s educational, informative and ties into our manufacturing service. These posts and how-to articles can come through a variety of channels including blog posts, email newsletters, and paid advertisements. Topics range from different material characteristics to part design for manufacturability guides and more.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
The path to success is never a straight line, and there’s no better way to see all of the ups and downs than to start a company. I’ve been blessed with a fantastic support group over the years including an unflappable co-founder, astute investors, and a tremendous team at Plethora. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my soon-to-be wife, Amanda, who has been my rock and inspiration over the past two years.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
At Plethora, we sponsor various community events and groups that align with our desire to help everyone invent. We supplied tools for Science Hack Day to help kids and adults make the future in one non-stop weekend and sponsor local high school robotics teams for the FIRST Robotics Competition.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why? (Please share a story or example for each.)
Don’t expect customers to change their workflow, even if yours is better.
When we first opened our manufacturing service to the public, we didn’t accept 2D dimension drawings that typically accompany 3D models. In our minds, customers should embed that dimension data directly on the 3D models — a more modern convention that is at the heart of Industry 4.0’s “digital twins” concept. Since digital twins is still a nascent technology, requiring customers to add that data to the 3D model is a step too far out of their standard workflow. We now accept standard 2D drawings and are working to make it easier for customers to call out critical dimensions in 3D as well.
Embrace specialization, especially if you’re a generalist.
Startup founders have to wear so many hats: fundraiser, leader, programmer, mentor, supervisor and janitor, just to name a few. Being a generalist is an asset when a company is just getting started, but it doesn’t scale for long. By the time a generalist realizes he or she needs a specialist to take over one of their roles, it’s usually late enough that some damage has already been done. Pay attention to where generalization is slowing your business down and hire a specialist to help you scale to the next level.
Buy good libraries; build great products.
Scrappiness is key to surviving the early days of starting a company. We originally relied on several free and open source libraries for geometry processing, which seemed like a great alternative to paying expensive licensing fees for industry standard libraries. We encountered bugs and issues with the free alternatives, which wouldn’t be a problem except for the lack of official support from the project maintainers — support that we were willing to pay for but wasn’t available. We quickly moved to industry standard libraries with fantastic support teams, and the additional speed gained from not hunting down bugs has more than paid for the licensing fees incurred.
For better or worse, what you allow will continue.
Company culture thrives or dives based on the actions that are encouraged or discouraged. When bad behavior is tolerated, it sends an unspoken message to the entire team that this behavior is acceptable and part of the culture. It’s never easy to give negative feedback to a teammate, but it is essential maintenance for a positive, inclusive culture.
Companies are like Soylent Green: They’re made of people!
Even with the best technology, investors, and advisors, a company can face huge problems without a fierce dedication to individuals and everything that goes into supporting them. Hiring a People Ops leader early on can help retain key talent and save many headaches later on.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I am passionate about making the tools of invention more accessible. Technology is making its way to “the next billion users”, presenting a huge opportunity to help people around the world create their own inventions that make an impact in their communities. Inventors in Nigeria use locally sourced components to create power inverters that connect to car batteries for automatic backup power during the frequent outages. Women in India encourages better health practices by inventing a sanitary pad dispenser that can be built using 3D printers.
To reach more of this emerging demographic, software tools of invention must be cheap or free, something unheard of among the multi-thousand dollar price tags typically found in the CAD and manufacturing software industry. These high prices are due to the complexity of the programs, as well as the licensing costs of the software frameworks that act as building blocks.
I would love to see high-quality, open source alternatives to these industry frameworks in the areas of geometry kernels, constraint solvers, and multiphysics simulation kernels. By making these building blocks open source and free, a new generation of tools can reach the next billion inventors.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. You can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.
Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.” — Steve Jobs
I think the heart of what Jobs was saying is that the main barriers of invention are vision and perseverance — not intelligence. If you have an idea, you can manifest it into reality and even help others through it. Make no mistake: vision and perseverance are neither given nor easy. When tools of invention are more accessible, people can focus more on the vision and less on the barriers.
Some very well known VCs read this column. If you had 60 seconds to make a pitch to a VC, what would you say? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Think beyond 3D printing. Digital manufacturing is a large and diverse ecosystem of many different manufacturing processes and machines. Each process has specialized advantages, as well as varying levels of automation in both instruction preparation (e.g. programming) and operation (e.g. robotic machine tending). Currently, 3D printing leads the pack with fully automated instruction preparation, and many older processes like sheet metal bending require hours or days of programming. There is a huge opportunity to help usher in the next era of digital manufacturing and make older processes as easy as 3D printing, like what Plethora is doing for CNC machining.
The Future Is Now: “Soon will be able to bioengineer fully functioning human organs for transplantation” with Dr. Jeff Ross of Miromatrix
It’s estimated every 10 minutes in the U.S., someone is added to the national transplant waiting list. Unfortunately, 22 people die every day while waiting for an organ to become available, and that doesn’t include the thousands of patients who can’t even get on the list…Our scientists are developing fully functioning livers, kidneys and hearts with the ultimate goal of developing patient-specific human organs. Basically, our unique perfusion decellularization process essentially washes out the cells from a discarded pig organ, leaving all of the blood vessels and microstructures (matrix) that define that organ intact. Our groundbreaking technology then introduces human cells into the organ matrix, recellularizing it, thus bioengineering a new organ.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Jeff Ross, CEO of Miromatrix, a Minnesota-based biotechnology company on a mission to save and drastically improve patients’ lives by eliminating the organ transplant waiting list. Dr. Ross brings more than 20 years of biomedical research, management and regulatory experience in regenerative medicine, biologics and medical devices to Miromatrix including concept development, preclinical, clinical, manufacturing and commercialization. He has spearheaded development, global patent strategy, and fundraising for the revolutionary whole organ transplant program and its key decellularization technology, and he has over 30 patents along with scientific publications in Nature and other peer-reviewed journals.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I’ve always been driven by the desire to help people, and because of that passion, I was drawn to medicine and research. Growing up, I was intrigued by how things were built and worked, often taking them apart to see the inner workings then rebuilding them. I was convinced I wanted to be a doctor. At college, I pursued the path towards medical school but also took an early interest in undergraduate research starting my first year. In my third year, one of my research professors, who was also a medical school professor, pulled me aside and said, “I usually don’t get involved in things like this, but you’re very talented in research and should consider it instead of medical school.” His advice and encouragement inspired me to hold off on medical school and explore research in greater depth at the University of Minnesota’s Developmental Biology Department and at a Howard Hughes Medical Institute-funded lab. That phenomenal experience ultimately shaped my future. I was able to work with and learn from amazing people, as well as get my first co-authored study published in Nature. It was there that I began to understand my true desire to go into medicine and the revelation of how I could help people in a different way. As a physician, you can help patients one-on-one. As a scientist/researcher/entrepreneur, I discovered I could create new tools and therapies that could help thousands, even millions, of people. Even though I won’t get a chance to meet them face-to-face, the potential impact is tremendous. That experience and revelation led me to pursue a master’s degree in biomedical engineering and a Ph.D. in molecular, cellular and developmental biology.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
You never know where or when amazing opportunities will happen! When I was studying to get my master’s degree, a career fair was taking place in one of the halls on campus. I wasn’t looking for a job at the time and only walked through it to get a free soda. I stopped at one of the tables — which happened to be for Guidant — and they quickly became intrigued by my background. They encouraged me to interview with their company, even though I wasn’t going to be finished with my studies for another year. Eight interviews later, they offered me a job, a year before my graduation date. That shortcut to get a soda ultimately led me into regenerative medicine and was a springboard for where I am today.
Fast forward to 2018: I was in Japan for a conference talking about the lifesaving biotechnology my company, Miromatrix, is developing. After I spoke, a woman came up to me nearly in tears. She announced she’s a recent liver transplant recipient and told me about the fear and frustration she had to endure while waiting two years to receive her organ. She was so moved by the work we’re doing to create fully implantable human organs that she had to share her story with me. That moment was so intense and really emphasized that while we may not see breakthroughs every day, it’s always important to remember the larger picture and what we are doing can change patients’ lives.
Can you tell us about the “Bleeding edge” technological breakthroughs that you are working on? How do you think that will help people?
It’s estimated every 10 minutes in the U.S., someone is added to the national transplant waiting list. Unfortunately, 22 people die every day while waiting for an organ to become available, and that doesn’t include the thousands of patients who can’t even get on the list. That’s why our team at Miromatrix Medical is on a mission to save and drastically improve patients’ lives by eliminating the organ transplant waiting list. Founded in 2009 from a breakthrough process of perfusion decellularization and recellularization developed at the University of Minnesota, our scientists are developing fully functioning livers, kidneys and hearts with the ultimate goal of developing patient-specific human organs. Basically, our unique perfusion decellularization process essentially washes out the cells from a discarded pig organ, leaving all of the blood vessels and microstructures (matrix) that define that organ intact. Our groundbreaking technology then introduces human cells into the organ matrix, recellularizing it, thus bioengineering a new organ.
How do you think this might change the world?
Take patients living with kidney diseases, for example: 850 million people worldwide are currently affected, and more than 40 million are Americans. Of those, more than 700,000 are living with kidney failure that requires dialysis or transplantation. Unfortunately, less than half of the patients who start dialysis will survive five years, while those fortunate to receive a kidney transplant have a more than 90% survival rate. Our mission is to dramatically reduce the number of patients on dialysis, as well as save millions of lives around the world by eliminating the kidney transplant waiting list with a new source of transplantable kidneys. But there’s also a dire need for alternative therapies and solutions for those dealing with heart, liver and lung failure. Our ultimate goal is to develop fully functional transplantable organs so they can be life-saving game-changers for those in need worldwide.
Keeping “Black Mirror” in mind can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?
I’ve often been asked, “This is all good — but if you extend people’s lives by 20 or 30 years with new organs, what kind of strain will that put on our healthcare system?” Our goal is that our bioengineered organs not only extend people’s lives, they’ll also improve their quality of life. Studies show more than 90% of those receiving dialysis are also classified as disabled. By giving them readily available, life-saving organs, we can drastically reduce the yearly costs of dialysis and help those patients get back into society.
Was there a “tipping point” that led you to this breakthrough? Can you tell us that story?
Our company was born out of research from the University of Minnesota. Scientists Harald Ott and Doris Taylor were able to strip the cells (decellularize) from the heart of an adult rat while keeping its overall structure (matrix) intact. They then introduced new heart cells back into it, and after just 8 days, the heart started beating again. Overnight, this transformed the potential of tissue engineering from thin simple tissues, into complex tissues and organs with intact vasculature.
We’re taking that groundbreaking process a step further by showing both how clinically relevant this type of tissue engineering can be, as well as how it can be used to create a truly transformative therapy in the form of fully transplantable biologic organs.
For example, we developed and commercialized the only liver-derived biological products called MIROMESH® (soft tissue reinforcement) and MIRODERM® (advanced wound care). We have positive data for thousands of patients who have been implanted with these products, and we have recently finished two prospective clinical trials on them. Most importantly, there have been no reported immune-related issues with the implantation of either. Those products and their respective studies have allowed us to de-risk our approach and demonstrate the ability to utilize a pig source as the starting organ matrix, which was something that was already being discarded, and seed them with human cells.
We are preparing to publish the results that show we can revascularize an organ, place it back into a large animal, and get sustained perfusion. Following this publication, we are also preparing to publish our results demonstrating the initial functionality of our bioengineered organs. This will be our next big tipping point and the step toward human trials.
What do you need to lead this technology to widespread adoption?
We’re not just creating a new, better device. There simply aren’t enough life-saving livers, not enough kidneys, not enough hearts and lungs available for those who need them. We believe adoption is going to be rapid because there are no other alternatives. We’re providing a new therapy for those who don’t have access to a therapy today.
What have you been doing to publicize this idea? Have you been using any innovative marketing strategies?
When potential investors and collaborators see how we can decellularize then recellularize an organ, in conjunction with our solid preclinical data, they’re incredibly interested and excited!We’ve been honored recently to receive two big recognitions. We were named the 2019 Buzz of BIO’s Pipelines of Promise winner, which earned us an opportunity to present our groundbreaking technology to investors and companies during the BIO International Convention in Philadelphia.
Miromatrix was also among a select group this year to be awarded the KidneyX Redesign Dialysis Phase I award. KidneyX is a partnership between the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the American Society of Nephrology, and it aims to accelerate the development of innovative solutions that can prevent, diagnose, and/or treat kidney diseases. By working together with these wonderful organizations, we hope we can reach that goal faster. That, along with the recent Executive Order on Advancing American Kidney Health and HHS’s plans to increase the availability of transplantable organs and invest in bioartificial organs, further enhance our plan to eliminate the organ transplant waiting list.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I come from a long-standing blue-collar background, and my grandpa was an electrician. He was of the generation and mindset that you didn’t need to go to college; instead, you should go straight to work and into a trade. When I was in high school, I vividly recall overhearing my grandpa talking to a couple of his friends, and he was very passionate about how college wasn’t important and why trades were. He then paused and said, “Except for Jeff. He needs to go to college.” He said he believed he saw something special in me and that I had tremendous potential I needed to explore. It was so moving to see that level of faith in me, and I’ve never forgotten it.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
In addition to Miromatrix’s goal of giving people longer lives and more time with their spouses, children and grandchildren, I personally believe it’s vital to give back to society in other ways. I was a volunteer firefighter for eight years and currently am an elected school board member. One of my passions outside of science is public education — both my wife and I are products of the public school system. I believe strongly that our public schools should be of the quality where all children get a phenomenal education, and by being on the board, I can help contribute to that mission.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why? (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Someone will always tell you the 10 reasons it will not work.
No matter what idea you come up with, there is always going to be someone who will be quick to dismiss it and is quick to tell you all the reasons why it won’t work. That’s why so many great ideas don’t go anywhere. Your job is to find the one reason it will work and get them to admit it!
2. Words matter.
Be mindful of what you say, because words matter and impact what you believe. This is something I tell my daughters all the time. Optimists are successful because they say positive things that reinforce their beliefs. If you say something negative enough times, it becomes your position, and you start to believe it. If you say things can’t be done or don’t work too many times, they won’t. Words are powerful.
3. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
When we’re doing something very difficult or something that hasn’t been done before, it’s easy at times to dig in too deeply and make the situation or problem more complicated than it really is. We need to be careful to not let our past failures or the issues that tripped up other people bias the way we tackle the challenge. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss, especially when we’re able to approach a difficult situation and aren’t biased by the size of the obstacle.
4. Know thyself.
Many people, especially CEOs, have a tendency to try to be great at everything. It’s important, however, that we become aware of what we’re good at and which areas need improvement. Being honest with ourselves allows us to be better managers and be more effective. It also gives us the opportunity to be self-aware and surround ourselves with those who are strong in areas that we are not. Put your ego aside and know thyself.
5. Follow your passion.
No matter what you do in life, you’re going to be more successful if you’re passionate about it. If you’re doing it to fill a void or a time, you’re not going to be. Whatever career path you take, you’re going to spend a lot of time doing it, so make sure you’re passionate about what you do. It will drive you to be successful.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love to inspire a movement where every person feels the need to serve society and give back, whether it’s a day, a week or longer term. It allows you to truly put yourself in other’s shoes and gain additional perspectives while serving others. I believe our society would be much better off if we helped each other in both big and small ways.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
One of my favorite quotes comes from Dr. C. Walton Lillehei, the “father of open-heart surgery” and a pioneer of using the first small, external, portable battery-powered pacemaker. Dr. Lillehei said, “What mankind can dream, research and technology can achieve.” For me, this quote has been a driving force. I believe those of us who are working in transformational fields and are creating new and exciting therapies have the ability to affect millions of lives. We’re trying to do the impossible each and every day, but if we don’t believe in our dream, we won’t be able to achieve it. The belief that it’s possible will drive us to turn the impossible into the possible.
Some very well known VCs read this column. If you had 60 seconds to make a pitch to a VC, what would you say? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Miromatrix is driving the race to develop the first bioengineered organ. Through our groundbreaking, proprietary perfusion decellularization and recellularization technology, we’re revolutionizing regenerative medicine by creating fully implantable human organs including livers, kidneys, lungs and hearts. Our mission is to save and drastically improve millions of lives by eliminating the organ transplant waiting list. Our solid preclinical data is fueling our path to success and has attracted the attention of policymakers, investors and collaborators worldwide. We see the potential to alleviate one of the major healthcare issues in the world — not having enough transplantable organs.
Surround yourself with dissenting views. This prepares your brain and your emotions to handle tougher problems and deal with them in a resilient way. The idea for my very first patent emerged out of a dissenting view, where a colleague disagreed with me on my idea to help operators of agricultural equipment stay fully attentive in self-steering vehicles. Embracing that dissenting view led to us patenting several methods to detect whether they were paying attention.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Julian Sanchez, Ph.D. Julian is director of precision agriculture and business development at John Deere’s Intelligent Solutions Group. In his role, Julian is responsible for leading strategy, business development and portfolio management. Julian started his career at John Deere in 2004 as a summer intern at the Moline Technology Center and re-joined Deere in 2011 as manager of Enterprise User Experience, where he laid the foundation for UX capabilities at Deere and pioneered a design philosophy. Throughout his career at Deere he made significant technical and business contributions in the areas of digital innovation, including building capabilities in mobile software development. Prior to John Deere, he spent time at the MITRE Corporation, where he worked on the Next Generation Air Transportation System, and Medtronic, where he led efforts to develop telematic systems for heart failure devices. Julian holds both bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Industrial Engineering from Florida International University and a Ph.D. in Human Factors Psychology from Georgia Tech. He holds over 20 patents, 35 publications and is a John Deere Fellow in Technology Innovation.
Thank you so much for joining us, Julian! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I was born and raised in Cali, Colombia, which is known as the salsa dancing capital of the world. Oddly enough, I’m a terrible salsa dancer. I moved to the U.S. when I was 11 years old, to Ft. Lauderdale, FL, where my parents started a business: They would order computer parts from Silicon Valley to our house, then we would assemble and ship them to my aunt in Colombia, who would sell them. It was around this age that I learned to be curious about technology, as my house chores mostly consisted of assembling computers and trouble-shooting malfunctioning components. Later, while getting my engineering degree, I became aware of a field known as Human Factors, which deals with understanding human capabilities and limitations and applying that to good design. I went on to get a Ph.D. in that field.
While getting my Ph.D., I was given an opportunity to be an intern at John Deere. I didn’t know anything about agriculture, but I immediately felt a passion for the space. First, it is something that “matters.” Second, I found the problems fascinating. Here is an industry that doesn’t get much attention for being a tech-heavy domain, and yet, there is cutting-edge technology everywhere you look. At the time, summer 2004, Deere was evaluating touchscreen display technology and redefining the experience in the cab of these sophisticated vehicles. At the same time, self-steering technologies were starting to become mainstream in agriculture vehicles. Here I was at the intersection of technology innovation and human behavior, in an industry where its end users were demanding it.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
Deere was in the process of redesigning the controls of a very important vehicle, and there was a team that had been working for some time to define a concept. Even though the team had done a nice job of considering the requirements, I knew it could be better. Another colleague and I decided to take a shot at redesigning it from scratch, and we came up with a completely alternate concept. We showed it to stakeholders, collected some feedback from end users, and it ended up being the concept that went into production. It felt like big deal, getting our ideas into a major product.
The key lesson that has stayed with me the rest of my career is if you think you have a good idea, don’t wait around and ask for permission or alignment to dive into it. Don’t worry too much about who is going to get upset, just start working on it. Many people wait around to be inspired, so they can get motivated, so they can begin to act. I think they have it backwards. When you start by acting, oftentimes you become inspired by something you didn’t expect, and that is what leads to motivation.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
The name John Deere carries something special with it. It creates a special bond between any two people who are connected to it in any way. I still can’t fully explain it, but it became apparent to me when I first started with the company. I didn’t have a background in agriculture, yet the first time I visited a farmer who used John Deere equipment, it felt like I was visiting family. Visiting farmers is an important part of my job as it keeps me connected to the emerging needs in the domain.
I thought I would only feel that way that first time on a farm, but it happened again, with the very next visit to another farm. And it happens every time I visit a farmer that has a connection with Deere. Even when customers are giving you feedback on what Deere could improve, you are treated like a member of their family when you arrive at their farm.
It goes deeper than that, though. Sometimes I happen to be wearing a John Deere t-shirt, and strangers will walk up to me and convey that they have a relative that owns John Deere equipment. I also have acquaintances who will send me pictures of John Deere equipment they encounter across the world. I mean, I’m assuming if you work for a car company or a software company or a restaurant that people aren’t sending you pictures of those products. I can’t fully explain the connection the brand inspires, but I like it.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I’ve had numerous mentors, bosses and colleagues who have helped me and believed in me. But when I think about someone helping me achieve success, I think also about the people who haven’t necessarily been on my side all the time, or in some cases, never! I’ve come to believe those individuals, the ones we perceive as “difficult” are the ones who help you grow most.
Some years back I had an employee who challenged everything I said, and often did so in a manner that was really annoying. For a while, it would rattle me, to the point that I started trying to figure out how to move him out of my group. But eventually I realized he would make me think deeper and harder about the problems we were trying to solve.
Working with him taught me a couple of things that have been pivotal to my career: 1) don’t let anything rattle you at work, because at the end of the day, it’s just work; 2) things that annoy you sometimes annoy you because they challenge your opinions or beliefs. Since this lightbulb went on, I have always sought conversations and individuals that annoy me. In fact, I have an opening in my group right now for someone to fill that role.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
It’s always risky to ask a psychologist to define a term like resilience. For me it’s the ability to see beyond complexity and be comfortable moving toward a goal, even when it seems like the odds are against you.
Resilient people have the ability to see through complex problems. They know that if you apply yourself and work the problem, then you have a good chance of coming out on the other side. Resilient people are willing to take on difficult problems and see them through.
When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?
My dad exemplifies the traits I described above. His favorite subject was physics, and when I was growing up (in high school and college) I would seek his help with difficult physics problems.
There was never a problem that overwhelmed my dad. I would observe his demeanor as he absorbed the problem, walked away from it for a little while and then started to work it. This was something that struck me at a young age. I realized that his success wasn’t that he knew everything — it was in having a calm and confident demeanor in the face of a tough problem.
This same approach was prevalent in other aspects of his life — and after many years of watching him, I began working to apply it to all aspects of my life. Don’t panic, absorb the problem and start working it.
Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?
There is always someone who tells you “it’s impossible,” no matter what you are about to try. I’ve learned that when you set out to prove that person wrong, you are unlikely to succeed, and even if you do succeed, it’s not very satisfying.
I’ve learned to instead take the feedback that something is “impossible” as data to better work the problem. If you assume good intentions, someone telling you something is impossible is actually pointing to a challenge you will likely have to deal with. Don’t let it discourage you or make it emotional — use it as information. People on the “this is impossible” camp are actually helping you identify challenges and achieve the impossible!
Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?
In the first semester of my master’s degree, I was taking a programming course where we were learning a new software package to develop websites. While I enjoy programming, I admit it has never been one of my strengths. The final exam, which made up more than half the grade, was to build a website using this program. I managed to do it, it compiled, and then I decided I had a little more time to make a few cosmetic changes to my code. To date, not sure what I screwed up, but when the professor came around to check it, nothing was working.
I failed the course, which put my scholarship at risk. I ended up retaking the course and was able to retain my scholarship, but the lesson I learned was more important. I spent my holiday break becoming proficient in this program, as I told myself I never wanted to let that happen again. In learning the program, I became interested in other applications, which at the time were very popular in the web development world. This eventually gave me the idea for my master’s thesis. My thesis connected me to a professor who suggested I get a Ph.D. and put me in contact with the person who would eventually became my Ph.D. advisor.
So, this terrible moment, which I still dread thinking about, actually opened doors for me. But it happened because I decided I wasn’t going to let it happen again, and I ran toward it, rather than away from it.
Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?
When I was 11 years old, my parents, my brother and I moved from Colombia to the U.S. I didn’t speak English. On the first day of school, my parents dropped me off, and for several weeks I didn’t understand much or anything being said around me. I remember every morning a lady used to come to the classroom and she would say words and different kids would raise their hand at different things she said. By the second week I recognized the word “nuggets,” and I realized she was the lunch lady coming to get a count of what kids wanted for lunch that day. I raised my hands at “nuggets” for a while until I learned other names of food.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
Rather than five steps, I have three:
1) Become comfortable with failure. Failure is not fun, so we shy away from it, even in our personal lives. We stick to what we know and seldom try new things because it reduces the probability of failure. So, practice “safe failure.” This could be simple things like, try to take a new route to work, or try to learn to play an instrument, or try to learn a new language. The key is don’t go into everything you try with the ultimate expectation that you are going to “succeed.” Give it a fair effort, but be willing to fail, which sometimes means giving up on something. I guarantee you will still grow, and you will become a little more comfortable with failure. For example, I purchased a unicycle about two years ago. I tried to learn, but after about a month of falling, I decided it was ok to fail at it. Again, it’s about trying things that stretch you, but being comfortable walking away from them.
2) Surround yourself with dissenting views. This prepares your brain and your emotions to handle tougher problems and deal with them in a resilient way. The idea for my very first patent emerged out of a dissenting view, where a colleague disagreed with me on my idea to help operators of agricultural equipment stay fully attentive in self-steering vehicles. Embracing that dissenting view led to us patenting several methods to detect whether they were paying attention.
3) Find those around you who will support you when you do fail. Part of being resilient is being able to bounce back, and that is a team sport. You can’t always carry the weight of tough failures on your own, so find those around you who are willing to help you through those moments and place added value on those relationships. My first boss at Deere, nearly 15 years ago, showed me what it’s like to provide support for those who take risks. As we were building up our research tools I saw the need for an eye-tracker to allow us to better understand how our technologies were impacting operator behavior. It meant asking for an unbudgeted sum toward the end of a fiscal year. After being told no numerous times, I decided I would just wait a while. He pressed me on it and asked if I truly believed it was something we needed, and if so, told me not to stop pushing for it. He made clear he would keep supporting me. So I did keep at it, and soon after, succeeded in getting the purchase approved.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I would try to get everyone in the world to spend 15 minutes per day learning a new language. Our ability to find common ground amongst each other is a matter of communication. There is something tremendously powerful about being able to talk another language that immediately builds a bond between people. I recently spent some time living in Germany, and even when a German person spoke English, the ability to communicate even at a basic level in German built trust and appreciation for each other. If this feeling could be propagated at scale, I think the human race could elevate its conversation about real problems.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
Women Leading the AI Industry: “One of the first things that stands out is how much data we have at our fingertips”, with Caitlin Kontgis and Fotis Georgiadis
We’re in the midst of an AI revolution. One of the first things that stands out is how much data we have at our fingertips. For an AI engine to produce any meaningful results, there needs to be enough fuel. In this case, the fuel is data. From private and public satellites, to crowdsourcing and in situ sensors, the data is seemingly endless.
As part of my series about the women leading the Artificial Intelligence industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Caitlin Kontgis. Caitlin is an applied scientist lead for Descartes Labs. In her role, Caitlin leads a team of data scientists who are leveraging AI to process satellite images and sensor data to create a digital twin of the earth. Caitlin joined Descartes Labs after completing her dissertation at the University of Wisconsin, which focused on remote sensing of urban and agricultural changes in southern Vietnam. Her work at Descartes applies the background in agronomy, remote sensing, and landscape change that she has been building since her undergraduate years at University of California, Santa Barbara. She is also an enthusiastic traveler, reader, and hiker.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Caitlin! Can you share with us the ‘backstory” of how you decided to pursue this career path?
I first got interested in remote sensing as an undergraduate at UC Santa Barbara. Remember, this was before Google Earth, so looking at satellite imagery was really novel. My passion solidified when I traveled in my early 20’s after graduating. I went to Vietnam and was fascinated by its rice paddies and land cover change after economic reform.
As soon as I got home, I wrote a fellowship proposal to use machine learning and remote sensing to quantify urban growth and changes to rice paddy management. My thesis utilized satellite imagery, machine learning, and field-collected data to map and analyze trends in Vietnamese landscape change. While I was pursuing my PhD, I thought I would stay in academia post-grad, but stumbled upon Descartes Labs and was really impressed by the scale of what the company was doing.
Now, I lead the Applied Science team at Descartes Labs which leverages our geospatial analysis platform to create maps and models of the Earth using NASA, ESA, and commercial satellite data. We use machine-learning and computer vision to extract usable information to create actionable insights and images — basically, we’re creating a digital twin of the earth via cutting-edge technology
What lessons can others learn from your story?
I think the biggest takeaway is that inspiration can come from unexpected places. When I left for my trip in Vietnam, I certainly didn’t think it would evolve into a dissertation. But that trip was formative for my career.
In the same vein — be open to taking risks. I never imagined I’d be living in New Mexico (where Descartes Labs is headquartered). I never imagined I’d be working for a company with less than 15 people. But now New Mexico is home and our company has 115 people. The risks were well worth the pay off.
Lastly, continue to learn. You should always be challenged by your job!
Can you tell our readers about the most interesting projects you are working on now?
These days, I lead a team of about ten people, so I’m not in the weeds with as much technical work as I’d like to be. Not all of the projects I oversee leverage AI directly, but they’re all fascinating.
One project uses GOES-16 satellite imagery to detect wildfires. GOES-16 is a satellite that collects weather information, and we’ve engineered a way to detect wildfires and inform local agencies of any outbreaks. The information is collected and processed every five minutes, so we’re able to get near real-time responses.
Another project is focused on the density and spread of greenhouse gases. We’ve leveraged new data from Sentinel 5P, a satellite that monitors the atmosphere, to detect levels of methane across the globe. This could have a major impact on our understanding of climate change.
Recently, I was able to revisit my PhD work and traveled back to South East Asian to speak with farmers and gather data so I can map changes over the last 20 years. One of the best things about the technology that I’m working with is that there are so many different applications in countless fields.
What are the 5 things that most excite you about the AI industry? Why?
We’re in the midst of an AI revolution, so it’s hard to choose five. One of the first things that stands out is how much data we have at our fingertips. For an AI engine to produce any meaningful results, there needs to be enough fuel. In this case, the fuel is data. From private and public satellites, to crowdsourcing and in situ sensors, the data is seemingly endless.
Furthermore, we have more computing resources than we have historically so the opportunity to mine all these data is huge. In fact, our company just created the first-ever cloud-based supercomputer to make the TOP500’s fastest supercomputer list, a major breakthrough for democratizing access to supercomputers broadly.
I’m excited to see how AI will continue to evolve our understanding of the world around us. AI-based methods of analysis are new to so many different fields, like ecology, astronomy and meteorology, just to name a few. And we’re still in the early stages. New methods, data sources and computing power may unlock new insights that wouldn’t have been possible even ten years ago.
Specifically, there are several use cases I’m most excited about, like cancer detection, self-driving cars, monitoring crop health, mitigating climate change and helping environmental watchdog organizations by alerting when things like deforestation occur. My team is directly working on several of these use cases, so it’s thrilling to see the innovation as it occurs.
What are the 5 things that concern you about the AI industry? Why?
Whenever there’s uncharted territory, there’s cause for pause. The first concern I have is around defining and understanding what AI is. Because AI has become such a hot topic, many companies are doing what we call AI-washing — saying their tools leverage AI when in reality they don’t. It’s important that we all understand what AI is and what it does so we can effectively use it to solve the world’s problems.
Furthermore, AI often isn’t the right tool for a problem. But because it’s such a hot topic, many are trying to apply it to everything, instead of appropriate use cases. This could cause AI fatigue, or create negative perceptions about its efficacy.
Thirdly, AI is almost too easy to use today. An AI professional still needs a strong foundation in statistics to interpret results, understand inference and design a study. Without following the proper methodology for building and interpreting results, we risk working off of faulty insights which could have major consequences.
Right now AI is a black box for most. We know the data we use and we can see the results, but the mechanisms to get those results are often obscured. This can lead to inaccurate data or bias in algorithms that cause problems down the line.
Lastly, I’m concerned about the lack of diversity in the field. Women and people of color make up an exceptionally small percentage of the field. Without addressing these problems head on, we stand to build the same structural inequities that we’ve seen play out over history in our AI.
Can you advise what is needed to engage more women into the AI industry?
The first thing we need to do is encourage girls to pursue math and science starting at an early age. My parents encouraged me to pursue math and science classes and worked tirelessly to make sure I was set up for success. There are several programs and organizations tackling the issue, but it needs to be top of mind for everyone, especially parents and teachers.
Beyond encouraging women to join the field, there needs to be more role models for women. Ultimately, it’s our job to show women the path to success so they can fulfill their potential.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I’m grateful to my parents, who have supported me throughout my life, and, in particular, encouraged me to stick with my math and sciences classes after seeing I had a talent for it. When I was in elementary school, my dad would check over my math homework after I went to bed, then wake me up in the morning to go over any problems I got wrong with me. An earlier wake up call meant I did particularly poorly on that assignment, and a later wake up call meant I’d done pretty well. He’d sit with me, often while it was still dark out, and help me work through each problem until I understood it at a foundational level and could solve it myself. Obviously I’m biased, but I’m not sure most parents would have such a commitment to their kid’s education in math.
As you know, there are not that many women in your industry. Can you share 3 things that you would you advise to other women in the AI space to thrive?
This isn’t necessarily limited to women, nor to AI space, but I think to thrive anywhere, you need perseverance, humility, and a good sense of humor. Time and again, I have battled imposter syndrome or thought about dropping out of this field, but a stubbornness and perseverance has kept me on course. And though humility might not often be a trait associated with tech or the AI industry, I think it’s necessary to be open about what you don’t know if you’re going to keep learning and evolving in this space. Finally, AI is like weird science fiction come to life in some instances; it’s the stuff of Hollywood storylines, including C-3P0 and the Terminator. I think it’s good to have some fun with it.
Women in Wellness: “Finding the proper balance of fear and courage is the key to taking the necessary action to implement your new idea”, with Theresa Armour and Fotis Georgiadis
Finding the proper balance of fear and courage is the key to taking the necessary action to implement your new idea. I encourage risk. Risk propels action and action translates dreams into reality. Although action does not eliminate the fear associated with risk, it can build courage.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Theresa Armour. Dedicated to the concept and action of serving, Theresa Armour built her life’s work on the physical and emotional well-being of others. A graduate of the University of California, Berkley, she traveled internationally as part of a television production team before opening the first Burke Williams Day Spa in 1984 with her husband, Bill. Together they created a new landscape for health and wellness, introducing the original “urban day spa” and pioneering a new market in the United States. Visionaries in their industry, Theresa and Bill opened the first Burke Williams in Brentwood, California after visiting spas abroad. Over the last three decades they’ve built a trusted and respected brand comprised of 10 day spas across California, the exclusive H2V skincare line, the new in-and-out Simply Massage, and two Burke Williams Academies of Massage Therapy. A haven for renewal, elegance, and beauty, Theresa created a sanctuary where transformation and balance are priorities. A creative director since the company’s inception, Theresa helped launch the concept and design of each Burke Williams. Focused on creating a unique aesthetic for every location, she drew inspiration from around the world to create a visual and emotional response the moment a guest walks through the door. From a beach house in the Hamptons to a Parisian getaway, each Burke Williams was artfully crafted to communicate a distinct feel and extraordinary experience. Theresa is invested in the development of services, staying attune to trend-forward innovations while honoring classic and effective methods used across the globe. She works closely with Bill and core team members to create a positive and encouraging company culture, implementing her personal and professional philosophy “we exist to transform your day.” The philosophy begins with staff and extends to guests, working as brand wide mantra and motivator to achieve the ultimate guest experience and inspire the highest level of service. A Southern California native and mother of three, Theresa is proud to be the founder of a family owned and operated company. She initiated the Hands For Hope internal program helping employees in need, is an Associate of the Sisters of Saint Louis, and contributes annually to charitable causes. She’s been featured as one of Angeleno Magazine’s Dynamic Women, and appeared in the Los Angeles Business Journal and Find Bliss Magazine alongside Bill.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Theresa! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
The inspiration behind Burke Williams was as a mother of three young children I often felt overbooked and overlooked. I had neither the time nor finances to take a much-needed vacation. Having been to destination spas, I searched for something similar in the city. Not finding it, the idea of creating a luxury spa experience accessible to busy, overstressed people who didn’t have the time for a traditional escape, was both intriguing and exciting. Bringing that experience to the city, so that people like me could escape for an hour or two and feel rejuvenated and appreciated, turned out to be even more needed than I had imagined. The concept was immediately well received and the “Day Spa” industry was born.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
At one point we had several top-level employees who were having conflicts with one another, and we decided to address it head-on. We brought in a consultant who not only worked with those employees but with all of our upper management. The results were and are profound. We gained insight into our motivations and our fears, and we learned to speak and act with greater awareness and clarity. Accountability became our discipline, trust became our culture, and business efficiency was the result.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
We’ve held fast to the practice of disconnecting to reconnect. When you enter Burke Williams, you disconnect from busyness, disconnect from devices, and disconnect from noise. This enables us to reconnect with people in a more authentic, human way, to reconnect with touch, to reconnect with quiet and most importantly, to reconnect with self.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Always! From researching and designing the newest in skin care products and techniques to reaching back to ancient, time-tested massage and healing methods, we find it fascinating to combine the classic, sometimes forgotten methods and practices with the most advanced and cutting edge discoveries in health, wellness and beauty. We’ve recently introduced new technologies in skin care, such as the nano technology that we launched with Regenerate, our new Anti-Aging Facial, and will continue to invest in the latest innovations in skin care to help guests achieve maximum results. We also have exciting new initiatives that engage all five senses for a unique, customized, and immersive experience that’s exclusive to Burke Williams. We can’t wait to share more soon!
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
I would say that the most important first step is to define your culture and know what is important to you because even the smartest people in the world won’t accomplish your goals if you aren’t all on the same page. At Burke Williams we’ve worked hard to create a culture of trust and openness, and it’s amazing how much work gets done when no games are being played. We communicate honestly, by honing our listening skills and speaking with transparency. We give feedback to each other at every level, and we do not tolerate triangulation or gossip. We value open, transparent dialogue and expect accountable behavior from our competent and capable team. We all expect each other to do what we have agreed to do by when we’ve agreed to do it. So it’s imperative to hire the right people, place them in the right positions, at the right time.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Do not arrive at any situation with an already formed plan. Rather engage and inspire your teams to develop their own plan. If they feel it is theirs, their commitment and passion to execute a successful outcome are tenfold.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
That is so true. I think that it’s all of our experiences, the good and the challenging that shapes us and it’s the people which played those parts who are our teachers. I have many important influences on my life. I was blessed to have a mentor. She lived her life with passion and power and taught me the importance of choice. She didn’t wait for things to happen; she knew the importance of taking action with intention, boldness and courage. And my husband, he is my rock, my love and my heart. He is the finest human I know and watching how he lives his life teaches me more than any words could.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Everything we have is to be used in the service of others. The more we give, the more we get, so, repeat the cycle then give that too.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
First and foremost, I focus on building a culture of trust. Business efficiencies are magnified exponentially when the trust dominates every interaction. Trust is the by-product of open, transparent communication and shared accountable behavior.
I encourage risk. Risk propels action and action translates dreams into reality. Although action does not eliminate the fear associated with risk, it can build courage. Finding the proper balance of fear and courage is the key to taking the necessary action to implement your new idea.
I am continually developing, clarifying and communicating my vision to our team and our company. A well-constructed vision clarifies both one’s purpose and destination. A company without a unified vision is like boarding a ship without a rudder; who knows where you’ll end up.
It takes an individual to imagine, to set the target and to inspire a vision. It takes a team to achieve it. I surround myself with competency and people with shared values. An aligned and competent team has unlimited potential.
At Burke Williams we celebrate both victories and setbacks. If you are taking action, there will be plenty of both. Victories confirm and inspire our vision and setbacks are intense learning opportunities that forge courage and build wisdom.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
When I was in college I read this quote from Goethe and it has inspired me ever since. He says, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”
We all have dreams and it is crucial to be bold in our pursuit of them if we want to lead extraordinary lives. My experience has taught me that taking that first step in pursuit of a dream leads to another step. Paths open up, like-minded people come alongside and opportunities arise. Sometimes that path leads to the hoped for dream and other times it leads to some exciting new adventure that wasn’t even on my radar but so much better. Boldness absolutely has power and magic! Often I’m astonished!
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Oprah! She has tapped into all of the important issues of life and she understands and cares about humanity. She has access to the greatest thinkers, the funniest minds and the most powerful influencers. She moves from diets to the Dali Lama, from shoes to the spiritual. She lives her life upon this earth with love and zest and questions it with wonder and awe. She understands the connection between the body, mind and spirit and tackles these subjects with passion. She understands her God-given potential and goes for it. She’s amazing.
There are a lot of smart people out there called customers: listen to them. Listen to them because you will get some things wrong. Anything new and different will have vocal fans and haters too. What’s valuable is hearing what you can do to make it better fast.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Andrew Hodge, CEO & Founder of Owlcam. Prior to starting Owlcam in his Palo Alto garage in 2016, Andy helped drive the first generation iPhone and 20+ generations of iPod as a product development leader at Apple. He then led development of the augmented reality headset as GM of HoloLens at Microsoft and was the VP of Hardware Engineering & Strategy at Dropcam until its acquisition by Nest/Google.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Andrew! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I always loved design; meaning what does it take to build something so good it really matters. My dad was an architect and you could see how some buildings really affect people — for good and bad. As a kid, I wanted to be part of building something really good. And no escaping that when the Apple Mac came out in 1984 so many of the things I loved about software and hardware came together in one really amazing product.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I was on the secret team that built the iPod. We never expected to sell more than 10 or 20 thousand; but we were an ambitious group. Everyone wanted to build something illogically great; and of course, there was Steve Jobs. The team juggled, argued and figured out everything from the big stuff to small things like exactly how light reflected on aluminum versus stainless steel or how we could squeeze in more milliwatts to extend battery life.
The cool thing about Apple then was that both those kinds of things matter to SJ and all of us…both the aesthetic and the technical too. There was no guarantee of big success. There was just a chance to make something we and Steve could be proud of. All the care, craft, and sweat was just about building something really well. There was never any talk about the financial side really. Looking back all that work was huge especially since it made iPhone possible a few years later.
Can you tell us about the “Bleeding edge” technological breakthroughs that you are working on? How do you think that will help people?
We built a ridiculously powerful Edge AI dashcam and a 4G LTE data plan to power it. We wanted to help people in crashes and break-ins, which sadly happen too frequently. These events hurt emotionally, financially and physically. We knew that video and data could help. Owlcam and its 4G LTE service is the only dashcam that can deliver three big things we all need: 1) automatic record of accidents, 2) 911 assist call to see if you are OK, 3) automatic video clip of break-ins. Every week Owlcam drivers are saving money, time and even lives … all because we built a first of its kind and a truly smart dashcam.
How do you think this might change the world?
Everyone deserves to have a self-protecting car. Way too many people are hurt around cars, pay for things that aren’t their fault, or find their car was broken into or dented while they’re away from the car. We’re here to give people tools to be more aware, encourage better driving, save lives & money, stop fraud, make insurance claims faster and, along the way, help people catch and share the fun moments that happens in or around their cars.
Keeping “Black Mirror” in mind can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?
Yes, that’s why we put the driver/owner/user of the camera in charge — period. We knew if we got this right more people would adopt it and be helped sooner. We’ve focused hard on privacy from the beginning, building privacy into the architecture of the Owlcam and the data service. We are committed to privacy and very proud of our user agreement. Only the Owlcam driver/owner control the videos and all the video is their property — not Owlcam.
Was there a “tipping point” that led you to this breakthrough? Can you tell us that story?
We had two “tipping points” — one with our founders, and one with our very first customers. The first came just after we’d thought of the original big idea of networked AI cameras. We knew it could be great technically but what really pushed us to start with cars and trucks was realizing that each of the founders had been affected by crashes, dents, traffic stops and break-ins. Nathan Ackerman (CTO & Founder of Owlcam) had been hit by all four things in just the last year. This really brought the statistics to life.
The second happened on the first day we shipped cameras last March. One of our Owlcam users, James, an EMT from NJ, called and said “Owlcam paid for itself in the first day.” He’d gotten one of the first 100 Owlcams that morning and installed it in his truck before going for a drive with his dogs in the snow. He then stopped to help someone who had gotten stuck and before he got back into his truck — BOOM another truck hit his. Because James had the video of the accident right away — the other guy’s insurance company accepted blame the next day saving James thousands of dollars. Helping a Good Samaritan on the very first day one was huge validation.
What do you need to lead this technology to widespread adoption?
Just for more people to learn that now there is a video security solution for cars and trucks. The same type of video security we take for granted in our homes can now protect our vehicles. People get excited once they find out that there is finally a solution to this problem, and the appeal is broad since nearly everyone that driver gets hit by crashes, dent, traffic stops and break-ins sooner or later. Every year 1 in 5 US families experiences these events. We launched last March and already Owlcams are widespread. They are currently in every state and major city in the U.S., across all income brackets and in all types of cars and trucks. So far over 150 million miles have been driven with an Owlcam.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Wow there are so many, at so many places: Purdue, IDEO, Apple, Microsoft, Dropcam and now at Owlcam too. When I think back, I really can’t pick just one name without feeling like I’m leaving out too many. Thinking about who helps you along the way reminds me how little I knew when I started.
One person who stands out would be my grandfather, Bert. When he retired, he took up woodworking and I can still remember him getting a single mahogany log. He would chip away at that thing bit by bit until he turned it into a beautiful grandfather clock. It was impressive as a kid to see someone, day after day, put that much effort and time into building something their garage. My mother still has that clock.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I love how design brings new, better things to people, lets businesses grow and can create great places to work. We founded Owlcam to do those good things and also because we believe that people and video working together will make our cars, roads and neighborhoods safer.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Before you commit to a startup make sure it’s exciting enough to attract really great people. Guaranteed it will turn out to be harder than you expect. The team you build will be what pulls you through.
2. There are a lot of smart people out there called customers: listen to them. Listen to them because you will get some things wrong. Anything new and different will have vocal fans and haters too. What’s valuable is hearing what you can do to make it better fast.
3. Remember just about everyone on the team has a family that helps make their hard work possible. So look for ways at events or with policies to acknowledge the partners and kids along with the team.
4. Most of us are good drivers. Mostly we are careful and just want to get home in one piece with peace of mind. Reckless drivers drive like no one is watching. But they can change; and seeing, near missing and crashes can help a lot.
5. It’s far better to pack the team together in a smaller office space than split them up. It is almost impossible to always have the right amount of office space as you grow but so much more gets done with everyone close enough to snack and get coffee together.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Cameras and people working together have the power to make the world a safer and more civil place. Video is an amazing tool to see things literally from someone else’s point of view. Journalists and artists use photography and video to help us see. Owlcam is a part of the larger history of cameras to help us literally see things from another perspective. Our Owlcam users, amazing people like James in NY, Jennifer in NJ, Scott in CA and Esteban in TX, inspire us. People who use video for themselves but are also eager to help others, get thieves and robbers off streets, or remind everyone to just plain old slow down take it easy so we all get home safe. It is easy to get fired up when you see the cool things people use Owlcams for like sharing a laugh or pushing back against bad drivers and thieves. Then we get back to work making Owlcam software and cameras better.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I’d stick with the classic Gretzky quote “Skate to where the puck is going to be.” Some say it’s overused, but it works. Over and over again an opportunity comes up to take a shortcut in either hardware or software, but once we think harder about where we want to be in a year, we know it’s the wrong thing to do.
Some very well-known VCs read this column. If you had 60 seconds to make a pitch to a VC, what would you say? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Everyday drivers, business owners, and insurers need help because while you might be a good driver…not everybody else is. This year alone there will be $836B in damage to 270M vehicles, and the car is the leading cause of death and injury for Americans under 45. Video and data are the solution.
Owlcam uses video and data to make cars, drivers, businesses safer. Our Edge AI has enabled for the first time ever, practically in power and price, to protect cars and trucks with video. So, in a crash, you can instantly get 911 assistance and the video proof right to your phone in minutes. In a break-in, you get video alerts when something out of the ordinary is detected and you can live view to see and hear what’s happening in real-time from anywhere. Only Owlcam’s Edge AI dashcam and 4G LTE data plan can do this.
Most importantly — we’re saving real Americans’ money, time, and lives every day. Drive safe!
Women Of The C-Suite: “Find sponsors, not just mentors, and then become both for others” with LaVerne H. Council and Fotis Georgiadis
Find sponsors, not just mentors, and then become both for others. There is a difference between the two, and you need both. Mentors provide a sounding board based on similar or relatable experiences, and sponsors provide opportunity for you to grow and take an active role in pushing your career forward. I have had many male sponsors over the years — starting with my husband. It is possible to have women sponsors, but in my experience men still had most of the senior roles and access, and you need the opportunity for them to know you well enough and see what you are capable of, to put you forward. My first boss believed in me, and really saw me, which helped me see myself. In creating an opening for me and trusting that I could do it, he propelled my career and inspired me to do the same for others.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing LaVerne H. Council. Laverne is the national managing principal for Enterprise Technology Strategy and Innovation at Grant Thornton LLP, where she leads the practice responsible for helping CIOs solve their most challenging issues through the firm’s innovative enterprise technology offerings. She has more than 30 years of experience in both the public and private sector, implementing global technology solutions and supply chain strategies that drive growth and innovation in industries, including healthcare, consumer products and telecommunications. Council previously served as Assistant Secretary for the Office of Information and Technology and chief information officer (CIO) at the Department of Veterans Affairs; Corporate Vice President and first global CIO for Johnson & Johnson; Global Vice President for information technology, global business solutions, and development services at Dell Inc; and, as the global partner for supply chain at Ernst & Young LLP. Council was twice named one of the Top 50 Women in Information Technology by FedScoop, which also gave her the Golden Gov: Federal Executive of the Year Award. She is listed among Healthcare Data Management’s Most Powerful Women in Healthcare Information Technology. Business Trends Quarterly named her one of the top four CIOs in America. The New Jersey Technology Council inducted her into its CIO Hall of Fame, and the Global CIO Executive Summit awarded her the Top 10 Leaders & Change Agents Award and the Top 10 Leaders & Innovators Award.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, LaVerne! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I always enjoyed solving difficult problems and dealing with complexity to figure out how to make things better. The way big ideas come to life is through the creation of the vision and strategy and the ability to execute against it. I have seen it throughout my career. From the beginning of my career as a programmer analyst, through my time as a consultant, and during my corporate executive roles at Dell and Johnson & Johnson, as well as my tenure as a member of President Obama’s cabinet, I have enjoyed working with teams to create strategic visions and execute against them to improve the way things are done. I leveraged my intellectual curiosity and willingness to take on difficult and complex issues, and paired it with the enjoyment I get when a team comes together to enable an organization to thrive and grow. In turn, this has created new capabilities to drive my career path over the years.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
One of the most interesting things I found in creating the Enterprise Technology Strategy and Innovation practice at Grant Thornton is that what is required to really enable technology can be boiled down to a number of tradeoffs that have to be made. Organizations have similar problems, with varying levels of complexity based on size. In talking with CIOs, we are finding that the number one problem they are facing is the need for a vision and strategy. They also need their strategies to be much more deployable and aspirational. Now more than ever, people have technology at their fingertips and it is driving the need for shared environments in which business and IT can live harmoniously, in a way that does not compromise the safety and security of the organization or the stability of their operations. There is a growing need for advanced digital technology and analytics — not just AI or migration to the cloud, but understanding the operational strengths and tradeoffs you make to arrive at the best decision for your organization. Many organizations are returning to dev ops and development capabilities needed to drive the next level of technology enablement, and moving away from IT as a back office function. Ultimately, every organization has a need for better communications. This is not just about change management, but providing a roadmap of understanding of where the organization is headed so that people understand their role and are able to make aligned decisions in real time. It is not just a story; it is a key component to every organization’s success when facing digital disruption.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
It is funny now, but it was not funny at the time. It was embarrassing and scary, but I learned a lot. When I started out working as a programmer analyst, I had made changes to some code, tested it, and the code went into production. I got a call at 2:30 in the morning that the code was not working properly and I needed to come in. I immediately got up, got dressed, and got to work to find my supervisor and everyone else there because we need to get a critical part of the business back up and running. I was panicking because I thought I did everything I was supposed to do, but I realized I must have missed something. I was devastated, but I immediately fixed it, tested it, and got it back in to fix the problem. While I was licking my wounds, one of the supervisors came over and said “kid, it happens to everyone. The key is, what did you learn?” I told him, “You know, I learned that even though I thought I had it all covered, it is beneficial to have others on the team look at your work and ask them to make sure you have not missed anything.” I had done a peer review on the initial code, but I did not want to bother someone to look at the last step — though in hindsight, I definitely should have. It was not the end of the world, nor the end of my career, but I learned a valuable lesson. There is a benefit to including other’s viewpoints and insights, and I have always felt that you get better outcomes and solutions through collaboration.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I can talk about Grant Thornton and our culture, and I do think that helps us stand out, but I also think the Enterprise Technology Strategy and Innovation practice stands out because of the diversity of our people. Not only do we have a high representation of women and minorities, but also we have a diversity of thought that comes together to create a truly innovative way of addressing problems and needs of technology executives. It is one of the few times in my career that I have been able to mount a leadership team of some of the most amazing and capable women who present the full suite of technology capabilities to deliver true change. I am proud to stand with these leaders, and with the great men on this team, to challenge the status quo and present a new idea about what a great consulting team looks like.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
We recently released a first of its kind CIO survey within the firm, driven by the need to understand what is driving the CIO, and not just what is driving technology. We wanted to understand the areas in which technology leaders are struggling, their areas of focus over the next several years, and how they see their role evolving. One of the most interesting findings was that CIOs want to be measured by successful execution against strategy and plans and improved ability to innovate, but feel that the business measures them on the ability to deliver more projects and services at a lower cost. Once this disconnect is recognized, CIOs are able to take control of the narrative and develop strategies to take their IT organization from a cost center to a trust center by focusing on those areas that will provide the most value to their organization. In shifting their perception to one of a true business partner, CIOs gain a seat at the table to drive innovation and growth through technology.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Whether you are male or female, the needs of the team are the same. I believe great teams have four core characteristics, and I have always focused on these to help my teams become the best they can be: transparency, teamwork, accountability and innovation. As a leader, you must communicate the direction you envision for the team, what it means for them, and how they contribute to the team’s success in an individual capacity. This transparency provides people with the insights they need to excel in their role, so they are not guessing at what success looks like. Teamwork means that leaders demonstrate that they are part of the team and value the ability to work as part of the team. Individual success is wonderful, but it is even greater to see a team grow and all members benefit from learning and working in the environment the team has created. Accountability means doing what needs to be done because you see the need, not simply because it is your job. When leaders create an environment of accountability to the team and the organization, the team begins to thrive and people are more willing to help each other and engage beyond what is immediately beneficial to them. Innovation is often overused, but creating innovation in a team means that as a leader you foster an environment of critical thinking and thinking differently about problems. You have an end goal in mind, but you are open to different ways of achieving it, and you nurture and support your team to learn throughout the process — whether or not they ultimately achieve the goal. Often, you learn more when things do not work out the first time. Thomas Edison famously said when he was creating the light bulb, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that do not work.” As a leader, you can instill that innovative spirit that drives your team to consistently aim for improvement and higher goals.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
I believe that as a leader, you lead the team; you do not manage the team. It is important that you empower the people around you to manage the team, and create a series of leaders within your organization that drive efficiency and effectiveness in your organization. I think the core characteristics of great leadership include empathy, the ability to drive toward a strong vision, focus, integrity, and accountability. If you can demonstrate these characteristics, you have the best chance of managing a team — large or small — because you show people what is valued and they will emulate these characteristics.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
It is very important that people understand that we all need each other. We need people to believe in us and support our dreams. We need people to motivate us through difficult times when we are tired or disillusioned. I have been very blessed to have a wonderful sponsor in my husband. People do not always mention their spouses, significant others or family members, but those people have to be your number one supporters to allow you to muster the energy you need to be an effective leader as you navigate the road to success and career growth. It is very lonely and difficult if you try to do it on your own. I have been fortunate to always have strong family support, and also to start my career with a boss who championed me. He was my first real sponsor, and the first person outside my family and friends who really saw me. He told me I was bigger and better than what I was doing at my first job, and he saw potential in me and gave me an opportunity. That was a propelling force for me and gave me a sense that I could do better. He created an opportunity, pushed me into a new sphere of capabilities and leadership at a young age, and taught me that I am only limited by the limits I place on myself. The rest of my career has been shaped by what I learned from taking the opportunity he gave me. I learned to understand people better as I became a manager — to look at them and see them the way he saw me.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I try to bring a little goodness to the world every day by giving back and caring about other people. I leverage what I have learned in working for many wonderful organizations guide me to drive change in the world. One of the organizations I am proud to support is March of Dimes, a nonprofit organization that leads the fight for the health of mothers and babies. I was on the board for 10 years, and served as chair for another four years. I brought what I learned in corporate America to drive real change and created a set of transdisciplinary centers around the country to help solve the issue of prematurity and help the organization thrive as a non-profit. It is difficult when there are so many wonderful organizations that serve so many great needs, and so few dollars to go around. One of the best things I can do is support organizations I believe in to enable great thinking and research, and provide grants that allow people to come up with new and innovative ways to save lives.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Prepare for the future by staying open to new leadership opportunities. The best role I ever had was the one I never wanted. I was asked to take over a group of teams that were struggling. The teams were not in my area of focus but the work they performed was critical to the organization’s operations. It required me to leverage all the key leadership qualities that I mentioned earlier to turn them into a strong team, and I learned what I needed to do to be credible in the trenches. I still leverage what I learned in that role every day.
2. Find sponsors, not just mentors, and then become both for others. There is a difference between the two, and you need both. Mentors provide a sounding board based on similar or relatable experiences, and sponsors provide opportunity for you to grow and take an active role in pushing your career forward. I have had many male sponsors over the years — starting with my husband. It is possible to have women sponsors, but in my experience men still had most of the senior roles and access, and you need the opportunity for them to know you well enough and see what you are capable of, to put you forward. My first boss believed in me, and really saw me, which helped me see myself. In creating an opening for me and trusting that I could do it, he propelled my career and inspired me to do the same for others.
3. What got you here will not get you there. Subject matter expertise and knowledge is foundational, but leadership skills are aspirational. It is not enough to have an opinion; you need the ability to change the moment. Acting with empathy, vision, focus, integrity and accountability will set you apart. I had the technical skills and expertise to serve as CIO for US Department of Veterans Affairs , but if I continued to operate as if I was still part of corporate America I would not have been able to build a strong, mission-focused team who achieved in 18 months what it takes most organizations 3 years to achieve.
4. Believe in yourself and create the change you want to see. No one is going to believe in you more than you are. It is critical to focus on what you do better than anyone else, execute with excellence and strive for continuous improvement. Early in my career, I became the first African American female partner at Ernst and Young outside of the Tax and Audit practice. I got there because I believed in myself, found my niche, and stayed the course to create the change I wanted to see.
5. Lead with heart, listen to your gut, and decide with your head. Change is hard. This was most clear to me when I centralized the CIO function at Johnson & Johnson to reduce complexity in the organization. People did not want to change, but I learned that if you show them the light at the end of the tunnel, they will ultimately let you lead them if you do it authentically. My team knew I cared, they trusted my instincts and they knew they could have open, rational discussions with me and they would be heard. This led to world-class performance and successful change.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
All children ages 2–5 would qualify for early education programs that instill a love for life-long learning, a foundation for creative thinking, and a respect for difference. In order for children to qualify, their parents would need to attend courses that focus on parenting skills needed to raise positive, engaged and innovative people.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I try to treat people how I would like to be treated, not how I have been treated. I have not always been treated with respect, or embraced by cultures that saw me as different. This could have made me bitter, resentful and isolated, but that would have stalled my spiritual and emotional growth and could easily have made me believe that I could not be successful without being a certain “type.” Instead, I knew the only thing I truly controlled was myself and my reactions, and I determined that I would not allow outside forces the opportunity to destroy my potential to live a full and joyful life. I prioritized the creation of a supportive and meritorious environment that I always wanted when I reached leadership roles, and strive to give what I seldom received.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Marian Wright Edelman, President of the Children’s Defense Fund. She has always held steadfast to those things that mattered to those that did not have a vote.
Commit and follow through. No matter what business someone is in there will be challenges. The grass is not greener on the other side, and get-rich-quick schemes do not exist. Success takes work and if someone commits and follows through, they will no doubt be successful. The reason for not committing is normally due to fear and doubt. Commit and you will find a way for it to work.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Kimmie Wong. Kimmie is a Success Coach and Business Strategist for online entrepreneurs. Her focus and passion is helping women create success, wealth and impact through online business. Kimmie is the creator of The Wealth Academy. Besides coaching, she is a devoted wife and mum to a growing young family and still finds the time to work on authoring her first book. Kimmie’s upbringing in the suburbs of Sydney was not without struggles and challenges, particularly regarding money and success. These challenges gave her the incentive and drive to achieve her success. After several unfulfilling years as a corporate employee, Kimmie took her heart in her hands and launched out with her very own coaching business.
Thank you so much for doing this with us, Kimmie! Can you tell us a story about what events have drawn you to this specific career path?
I was raised by a single mum as an only child in one of the poorest suburbs in Sydney, Australia. My mum was my main influencer, she had a good heart but had negative beliefs around money and success, telling me the traditional path of going to school and getting a job was the right path. Being a child, I didn’t know any better and therefore adopted these beliefs which led me down a path of struggle.
After completing my schooling, I worked for 7 years in corporate and during that time went through multiple business failures
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I came across a Facebook ad one day for an online mentorship program that caught my attention, which I signed up for and learned a lot over the course. That was the first time I invested in myself and where I grew to appreciate and love coaching.
As fate may have it, I was made redundant while on maternity leave from my job and that was when I decided to take the plunge down a new path, going all in to coaching as my passion business.
Can you share your story of Grit and Success? First, can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your journey?
I must admit — the first couple of months in business were difficult and challenging. There was a lot of doubt and fear, coupled with a lot of mistakes made.
There were times when I felt like giving up and wondered if entrepreneurship was for me, after seeing slow to little results.
I didn’t have a lot of support from close family and friends either, they just didn’t understand why I was choosing, what was to them an ‘unconventional’ path.
Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were so hard?
One of the things which gave me the drive to make my coaching business work was thinking about the experiences I’ve had working for someone else in the corporate world. I’ve learned that I never want to go back to being caged to a desk, working with people I didn’t particularly enjoy, and working hard with little to show for at retirement.
But more than that, I was propelled to do work that is fulfilling and impactful. Whilst be location independent, I wanted to help and inspire people globally from all walks of life to create their own successes through an online business, and not be stuck or struggle.
Closer to home, I am driven to create a better world by being a great mother and role model for my children, who are the next generation. I do this by teaching them about wealth, success, and leadership, things I wish someone had taught me earlier in my life. I want my children to realise they are in control on their own destiny, they can work hard towards something that is fulfilling for them and creates the income that they want and not to be bound by what society says they should be doing.
So how did Grit lead to your eventual success? How did Grit turn things around?
Grit for me encompasses clarity, commitment, and confidence. I realized that my past business failures were due to my lack in one or more of these 3 areas.
Clarity meant finding my passion and knowing what I want to pursue. I love coaching and the transformation it can bring about in people’s lives. I want to be part of my client’s journeys, seeing them create something for themselves that would also serve their family and the lifestyle they wanted.
Commitment came in when I invested heavily in personal development, coaching and learning business. Every time I learned something, I implemented it. This is how I have been able to grow both personally and my business so quick. Whenever I felt stuck, I would figure things out and kept persisting until I got results.
Confidence grew with every success. I also realized that success is not a secret, it’s a system. So I looked around me at successful people and emulated them. I allowed myself to be inspired and encouraged to succeed, rather than comparing myself to them.
Grit helped me to find the clarity in what was my purpose in life, commitment to keep going despite the challenges and setbacks, and confidence which led to the success and lifestyle that I have today. I get to choose who I work with, when I work, and where I work. I’m very grateful for what I have today.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 pieces of advice about how one can develop Grit? (Please share a story or example for each)
1. Commit and follow through. No matter what business someone is in there will be challenges. The grass is not greener on the other side, and get-rich-quick schemes do not exist. Success takes work and if someone commits and follows through, they will no doubt be successful. The reason for not committing is normally due to fear and doubt. Commit and you will find a way for it to work.
2. Say no. It’s easy to feel guilty when we decline an invitation because we don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings. I used to feel this way before I started my business, but now I feel guilty saying ‘yes’ to things that are not in line with serving the outcomes I want to achieve. Do what serves you and your purpose, you can say sorry later.
3. Let go of negativity. There will be people that want to hold you back. That’s not to say they don’t care — they just might not know any better. I’ve left a friendship that spanned over 20 years recently because our paths no longer aligned and it was draining to keep up. Take a look at the people in your life and honestly assess whether it’s a healthy relationship. If not, is it worth addressing or better to let go?
4. Lead by example. As the CEO of my business, I need to practice what I preach. To lead others, I must lead myself first. In a way, I am holding myself accountable to my students and that helps me lead by example knowing they are watching and learning from what I teach them.
5. Share your own story. Growing up as an introverted shy girl, this did not come naturally to me. But being in business and an online brand, I knew I needed to connect with my ideal clients. Being vulnerable and open about my past failures and experiences has made me stronger as a person because I am getting out of my comfort shell and owning my story and mistakes. This has helped me grow into the person I am today. Sharing your story can be scary but is an essential part of personal growth. There is a direct correlation between the success you achieve and your personal growth.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped you when things were tough? Can you share a story about that?
I grew up largely on my own without any strong role models who are in the entrepreneurial space. I can’t name a particular person, but a lot of influential role models came into my life around the time I was made redundant in my last corporate role. This was when I heavily invested in coaching and personal development. So, I would say various coaches and mentors — Bob Proctor being a key influence on changing my mindset and strengthening it to where it is today.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I try to implement service in every aspect of my life, both personally and professionally. My coaching helps online entrepreneurs strengthen their mindset and the relationship they have with themselves and money so they can attract more of it into their lives. I also help them learn good business strategies, so they know what to do and not feel stuck. That makes me feel good as I am helping others experience more abundance, inside and outside. I truly believe everyone deserves this!
I am also looking to partner with the children’s charity. When my youngest daughter was less than a year old, she had a very bad fever and had to be hospitalized for a week. While in hospital I saw a lot of sick children and as a parent that broke my heart. Helping the charity I believe will bring goodness to these children and their parents so they can have better quality care. No child deserves to suffer. I believe health is so important in our lives — even if we have the money, we won’t be able to enjoy it without good health.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My largest project right now is finalizing and releasing my book — Not All That Shimmers Is Gold. It is a metaphorical story about the nature of change and human resilience.
My aim is to educate people about adapting to change and motivating them to take action when things are not working for them. A lot of people feel stuck and want more but don’t know how to get it while others simply don’t know what they want out of life. I hope my book inspires readers to take action because everyone deserves more and can have more. I am truly passionate about opening up people’s minds and revealing their potential.
What advice would you give to other executives or founders to help their employees to thrive?
Lead, don’t manage. It’s about allowing employees to see greatness in themselves, not watching over them and telling them what to do every millisecond — they are not babies! Learn to trust your employees. Build that relationship so they will learn to love and trust you as a leader and they will be so much more productive.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
My coaching on an individual and business level has a degree of impact, but if I was to inspire a movement, it would be to build a community of people who leave their day jobs to find and follow their passions through mindset change, which is why I am starting with my book. I am looking to expand on that to develop further programs so anyone can access support no matter where they are around the world and improve their lives.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Focus and follow through” — I learned this from my mentor who shared with me the Acres of Diamonds story by Earl Nightingale. I had multiple business failures in the past because I gave up when I didn’t see quick results or it got too ‘tough’. When I saw someone else succeeding, I jumped at the opportunity but the momentum soon fizzled and then I failed once again. It’s not about the business. No matter what business you are in, if you focus and follow through it will work for you and you can become successful. Once I committed to my business path of coaching and did what I needed to do, I saw results and success. Riches grow where you focus and follow through.
Support your team. Let the buck stop with you. Good leaders trust their team and let them fail. And be authentic. Nothing is worse than having employees wondering what you are thinking. It’s demotivating and it stalls productivity. And now, the hard one: solicit feedback on your performance. Everybody wants praise, and nobody likes criticism. But criticism will lead to praise if you take it to heart.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Denise Leaser. Denise is President of GreatBizTools, one of the world’s leading assessment companies. With products like WebAssess and MyInnerGenius, GreatBizTools is an assessment company that has a mission to help change people’s lives.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Thank you for having me! I’m excited to be here. I didn’t have a straight line from my education to my career path. After college, I started out in management and executive positions. Then my daughter was diagnosed with autism and I reevaluated a lot of things in my life, including my career. I worked with a lot of people who were unhappy. They were in the wrong jobs. I thought to myself, “This is an area where I can make a difference.” I went back to school and changed to a career in HR. My work in management gave me the practical experience to develop HR products that people will actually use and provide real results.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
Well, it’s actually a sad story, but one that everyone can relate to. I am friends with a former CHRO of a major IT company and he was telling me about a star employee they had hired. The employee was so excited to work there, came in early and left late. He was totally devoted to his job as a sales rep and was highly motivated and engaged. But he was terrible at sales. So, they fired him. Can you imagine? They had no way to properly assess his value for other roles in the company. That story stuck with me and led me to focus on a solution. That resulted in MyInnerGenius.
MyInnerGenius helps people identify careers they will love, then creates roadmaps to get them there. Too many people are in the wrong careers and don’t realize they are within reach of a better job. Most just need a few skills. Others don’t even know where to begin. We created MyInnerGenius by reverse-engineering our job fit tests to create a single assessment that will help people identify dream career roles that match their innate skills and personalities. How great is that?
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I have two daughters, so I work from home as much as I can. We had gotten my daughter a young parrot for her birthday. A few months ago, I was on a web conference and was not on mute. In the background, Rudy started talking to me, saying “Whatcha doin’?” followed by “I love you” and whistles. I was dying on the call, but since no one said anything, I was just hoping it was okay. At the end of the call, someone paused and asked, “Is that a bird?” We ended up laughing about it, but it was pretty embarrassing. So, no talking parrots in the office.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
There are a lot of assessment companies out there and there are a lot of assessments. We focus on science-based, unbiased assessments that are developed with a team consisting of business, HR, industrial psychology and psychometrics experts. Our tools can help an organization truly build a diverse, inclusive workforce because we focus on skills, abilities and personalities, not on the historical data shown in a resume.
And we conduct validation studies to measure the benefits. That means that our tools really work, provide real bottom line results and are easy to use and address real business problems.
We also want to focus on helping people, not only businesses. We are working on an initiative with IBM right now to help people get started in a new career in IT. People can use MyInnerGenius free and align their career recommendations to IBM training. This allows people to get meaningful, actionable results so they can get started in a new career and hit the ground running.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
One project I’m really excited about is a project with TinSmartSocial in the UK. They have been commissioned by the UK government to provide training for the chronically unemployed. MyInnerGenius will be used to make sure we are aligning people to the roles that are the best fit for their cognitive abilities and personality traits, regardless of their backgrounds and circumstances. I’m really excited about helping the chronically unemployed find a way to a better life.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Support your team. Let the buck stop with you. Good leaders trust their team and let them fail. And be authentic. Nothing is worse than having employees wondering what you are thinking. It’s demotivating and it stalls productivity. And now, the hard one: solicit feedback on your performance. Everybody wants praise, and nobody likes criticism. But criticism will lead to praise if you take it to heart.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
First, learn how to delegate or you will burn out fast. When you empower your managers and teams to make decisions, they will be much more highly motivated. Second, learn how to communicate. Poor communication creates churn and anxiety in an organization. Over-communication is better than silent whispers in the hall.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Early on, after I made a change of careers, I started working on joint projects with another consultant, Barry Farrell. We worked on many projects together and eventually joined our companies so we were able to grow it to what it is today. Barry is a genius when it comes to assessments and he very kindly taught me everything he knows about assessment. I think everyone needs a mentor, especially someone who is willing to help you go beyond the books to real world application.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I have committed my life to creating tools and programs, like WebAssess and MyInnerGenius, that make life better. I have a passion working with young people leaving high school or college who are not sure where to start, military veterans re-entering the civilian workforce, the chronically unemployed, or helping people that have lost jobs due to a technology disruption. Helping people upskill or reskill themselves for the future is about a rewarding as it gets.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Under promise and over deliver. The inverse creates pain for everyone.
2. Give feedback and credit continually. Always make sure you elevate your team by recognizing their accomplishments publicly.
3. Listen.
4. Think before talking or acting. Take a breath and don’t be impulsive.
5. Focus on one task and nail it. Don’t get distracted by the next idea. It will wait until you complete the task at hand.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
To democratize the hiring process. A truly unbiased process ensures you have the most diverse workforce. Technology can help us focus so we are only looking at job-related criteria, nothing else. That way you can make sure you are looking at how natural cognitive abilities and personality traits contribute to job success. Imagine how that will create opportunities for people who have been disenfranchised from great opportunities?
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I think, Richard Branson’s, “Employees come first. IF you take care of your employees, they will take care of the clients.” That pretty much says it all for me.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast? or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Other than the aforementioned Richard Branson, I am ready to meet with anyone who wants to help people find their ways to a better life. And I’ll buy breakfast.
Women of the C-suite: “Being humble is the most important quality for a leader” with Liisa Andersson of Urban Sharing
I would not categorize myself as a “female” leader, necessarily, but that may come from being Norwegian. We don’t really have many issues with equality in the workplace here. So for me, being humble is the most important. Being open and transparent about the mistakes I make, being open about being human, is much better than building a shell. This applies to both men and women.
I had the pleasure of Liisa Andersson. Liisa is the Chief Operating Officer at Urban Sharing, the Norwegian startup behind a technology platform which powers shared mobility concepts, including one of the world’s most efficient bike sharing schemes, Oslo City Bike.
Thank you for all of these great insights! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I don’t think I had a specific career path in mind growing up. I still don’t know what the next five, ten years will look like. When I was younger, my vision wasn’t really, “I’m going to be a veterinarian,” or “doctor,” or anything like that. I think what led me to engineering was that I always liked building stuff, and I always knew that I wanted to make your life and my life better. I wanted to push boundaries, and always focus on something that makes the world a little better than the one I found. I love to learn new things and I’m always open to challenge my views. I suppose that means I don’t know what I’ll be doing when I get older than I am now, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
I think quite early, when I started high school, I was the only girl in my physics class. When I was younger, girls were involved in projects to put female techies on the map. I was sent an invitation to Andøya Space Center for a rocket science project to promote an IT line. At that point, I felt that it was kind of awkward. Why would you just choose me because I’m a girl? I wasn’t the best in the class. I wasn’t doing anything that stood out. I kind of hated it. I think it was the wrong approach, actually. And a lot of my school education has been centered around me being a girl rather than my actual skills.
To put this into perspective: I remember one time we had this session where we had to rewrite all these physics books to be less man-centric. So in cases where we’d read lines like, “Tom is building a new car,” for example, we’d switch the gender to female, to make the books more balanced. I felt that it was really important to neutralize the books, and I thought this was a wonderful thing. I still don’t think I deserved the invitation to Andøya. I ended up declining it, though it perhaps helps that I was already committed to a Norwegian horseback riding championship.
It turns out I was a really bad programmer in school. I wrote code that was way too complicated. I knew that if I wanted to stay in this path, it would have to become my passion. But I also knew that I would never be the best coder in the world.
Here is where I found that passion: I love building projects. I love the connection between humans and innovation, IT and technology, and how they all change the way we look at the world. Often, new technology — self driving cars, for example — aren’t integrated at a large scale, not because we don’t have the ability, but because we as humans have yet to navigate the ethical implications of the new technology.
So, while I still don’t know where I’ll be long-term, I do know that where I am now at Urban Sharing allows me to embrace that passion. It’s a pretty wonderful thing.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
It would have to be from the first week after we launched Oslo City Bike. When you work behind the scenes, you have no idea if it’s going to be a success or not. We had the bikes out in Oslo before we launched it, and did some secret marketing and private discussions. When we sneak launched, we really spread virally, very quickly.
I think an interesting story that came from that time involves the naming of our bikes. It was in 2017, in the winter, and there was something missing in the line of communication in the service that we had. We were struggling as we were all over the place with serial numbers, frame numbers and all of these batches. So I came up with the idea of baptising the bikes with the 3000 most common names of residents in Oslo.
The response I got internally was not the most encouraging, at least at first. Many thought that it was too difficult to integrate so late in the process when we had so many other things to get right before we launched later that year. But I pushed, and I lobbied, because I thought this was such a key part of really engaging with our users. Our company identity prides itself on being open, communicative, down to earth, and really being a part of the city. We needed something on the bikes to reflect that.
I remember the week after we launched the bikes, with the names written on them, we received a tremendous amount of positive feedback, and I think it really helped build a connection with our users. It’s something that’s become a part of every one of our launches since.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When we took on the Oslo City Bike contract, part of our agreement was to incorporate physical RFID cards into the scheme in parallel with the new app we were about to introduce. Now, RFID cards aren’t the most modern way to check out bikes, and in fact most schemes don’t incorporate them at all. But there were a number of users joining our scheme who used RFID cards with the previous scheme that might not have been so eager to switch to our app.
A few of us were responsible for calculating the percentage of users who we thought might use the cards. Based on an analysis of the rate at which users of a product switch to newer technologies, we calculated that between seven and ten percent of our users would use an RFID card. So we ordered thousands of them. We sold seventy. Our users overwhelmingly preferred the app.
What I learned from this was that data and numbers don’t always present the full picture. Our app was relatively easy to integrate, and Oslo as a city generally tends to adapt to new technology quickly. That said, numbers are absolutely important and data is a key part of our product. But ever since then, I always try to look beyond the numbers to see if there’s anything we’re missing.
That said, I still get picked on by my colleagues for the RFID cards mistake.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
What makes us a different company is our ability to adapt and change. To be an organization that is able to adapt so quickly in the micro-mobilty market is incredibly important, as it’s still new, and we’re all still trying to find our way.
As a company, we’re super curious We can be very academic in our approach. It’s always good to have a commercial hat on and look for where the money is, but since we are focused on a more sustainable, data-centric approach, we seek valuation for any decision we make. Will this really help a city? Is this new trend a long-term change or another 18-month bubble?
We’re kind of geeky. We really, really care about our product. We were born digital, so we’re really data-driven in our decisions. And we try to be humble about that.
There are a lot of talented folks in the industry, many of whom can probably do things better than we can in some ways. But we try to open ourselves up to reflection. We look for ways to learn from each decision. We invite others to learn from our successes and mistakes, and we don’t see them as a threat.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Last year we successfully launched schemes using our unique hybrid lock solution in Bergen, Trondheim, and Edinburgh. This year, what’s really cool is the work we’re doing on the next phase of our technology. We’re taking a lot of time to close the loop on new integrations, but also finding a better, more sustainable way to handle e-scooters and other small, electrical vehicles in the micro-mobility space. It’s really exciting.
We’re looking at ways to make these vehicles not just recreational, but have a real effect on the mobility ecosystem. For the project we’re working on, we’re connecting all the dots, between smartphones, GPS, satellite information and closing the information loop for our bikes. Our vision for this project is to create technology that works with every device and vehicle and removes as many hurdles as possible in any city.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
First and foremost, I would not categorize myself as a “female” leader, necessarily, but that may come from being Norwegian. We don’t really have many issues with equality in the workplace here. So for me, being humble is the most important. Being open and transparent about the mistakes I make, being open about being human, is much better than building a shell. This applies to both men and women.
For those working in tech, people around you will have all sorts of specialized knowledge that you won’t have. If you’re open and listening, and if you adapt to new knowledge, you’ll be able to collaborate and build something unique together.
I don’t know if this advice would apply outside of the Nordics. We have more of a culture of equality here, and an extensive social-welfare system. However, I think, even if you’re working in an area which isn’t quite so progressive, it’s still important to be humble and show that you’re human. You should aim to be transparent about what you know and don’t know.
That said, don’t be afraid to have an opinion. You’re a leader, you’re in charge, and sometimes you need to make decisions based on limited information. So be aware of the information you don’t have, try to fill in the gaps, but also know when to make a decision even when gaps remain.
One more piece of advice: Do your best to help your colleagues reach their potential. Accept that people have different skills which may not be the best fit for their position or even for the company. Try to help those that are stuck get unstuck, and don’t always assume the solution involves keeping them in the same task or role.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Personally, I love to have things organized. But I also think in a creative organization with a flat hierarchy, it’s difficult to be as organized and detail-oriented as one might like. I don’t have time to be in everyone’s business, nor do I want to be. I have a lot of trust in the people around me, and that they’d ask for help if they need it.
I’ve found our cross-functionality to be an asset. We organize ourselves around a problem and seek a solution, and we enable each other to contribute as best we can. If you have the same people in the same room with the same background, you may not be able to find the solution, or at least not the best one. It’s surprising to find out how a different person would approach the same issue, and it’s this part of my job that I love.
Sometimes we have new recruits who are unfamiliar with this sort of hierarchy. I try to spot them early and, instead of telling them where they are doing wrong, I try to help find a place where they would be a good fit in a project, or see if there’s anything I can do to help them meet their goals. It may just be the project they are working on isn’t a good fit for them, and that’s ok. There are other projects that may be more suited to their skillset.
One more piece of advice: Learn mistakes as a team. Run retros to understand how both you and your team could do better. Be honest with yourselves and be forgiving, but in all cases you should treat every mistake as an opportunity for improvement.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Our former CEO Axel Bentsen has to be the person who has pushed me way beyond my comfort zone and always has my back. In the summer of 2015, Axel called me and asked me to lunch to talk about this new bike-sharing project he got involved with. He had put in for a tender in Oslo, and wanted me to come in and help get things running. I told him I was quite happy where I am. No thanks.
We met for a second lunch a little while later and he made a similar pitch, and I again told him that I wasn’t interested. During a third lunch, Axel asked me, “Come on. What is holding you back? What is blocking you from making this decision?” I told him I wasn’t really sure if I could engage myself in bike sharing. And then he looked at me and said, “Liisa, come on, you can engage yourself in anything. I know you too well. You can find a way to get engaged in this, too.”
And he was right. I am engaged. More than that, I am truly passionate about what I do at Urban Sharing. The micro-mobility industry is fascinating. I love what I work with, what I do. And I could always go back to my old job if I really wanted to. So far I have yet to find a reason to.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
A lot of cities have soaring population rates, a trend which isn’t going away anytime soon. People in those cities need a way to move. But there’s not a lot of space, and not everyone can access a city’s existing assets. With new technology, we can improve the ways people interact with their own city, and with each other.
So finding more efficient, optimized ways to fill in those small gaps with reachable and sustainable options is very important to me. We bring in elements from the future, and we help cities find sustainable solutions for that same future. We’re already seeing some of these changes in Oslo. It’s pretty great to see.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1) Accept who you are as a company instead of where you think you will be, and hire accordingly. When we first got off the ground, we hired someone who I envisioned would be a great fit for the direction we were going. And if we were to hire him now, he would be perfect for a lot of the tasks we need to get done. We weren’t ready to use him yet, however, and we as an organization were not yet a perfect fit for him. He left not long into his contract.
2) Take time to breathe. You need people around you to remind you to stop, think about it. Leave for twenty-four hours and come back to it. If you make decisions that will impact people’s work life, you should always take a breather, even if it’s just thirty minutes. You manage people.
3) Don’t promote someone to a leadership position based on time, but on ability. Knowing a lot about a product or having a lot of skill in an area does not mean someone will be the perfect team lead. Find other ways to enable people to show off where they’re talented, or where they have the framework in which they can do a good job. Otherwise, you’ll just be disappointed and they’ll just be frustrated.
4) Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know something. Do say you’ll take time to research and return with the information needed. It’s not a bad thing to say, “we’ll figure it out and get back to you.”
5) Enable people to do great things. Don’t shy away from talking about the job or accomplishments of your team members. Stop saying “I”, say “we”. Don’t be afraid to tackle conflicts or make sure the group is moving forward. Sometimes you need to accept there will always be some level of disagreement, then move on. And sometimes that means moving on to a different path, if that’s what’s needed.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I think a movement I would love to be a part of would involve bringing meaningful technology to the people who need it. We have amazing technology in the world. It’s just humans that are standing in the way, and they shouldn’t. Don’t be afraid of technology. Don’t think that robots are going to take over everything. Accept that we’re going to change, and as a world society, we need to help each other accept that change.
I think positive examples of technology can help do that. Open and transparent sharing of macro-data analysis. Micro-mobility solutions that integrate the most underserved segments of a city’s population. Thoughtful, sustainable technology that makes a city a better place to live in. If people can see the positive changes technology can bring, they’ll be more willing to embrace it, and less willing to run from it.
Creative applications of technology could help create a more positive outlook on the future. We should find ways to improve infrastructure and technology that already exists rather than replacing it all the time. This is the exact sort of mindset I love about Urban Sharing, and I would be very happy to be part of a larger movement around thoughtful innovation.
Leaders grow leaders. It’s important to provide opportunities and experiences to others. In my experience, most leaders are not consciously aware of this, but when they do help grow others’ leadership skills, it’s a differentiator. Often times it comes with experience and wisdom, and people get better later in life at growing the next generation of leaders.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Terry Barclay, the President and CEO of Inforum. Terry oversees the only professional organization in Michigan — and one of only a few in the country — that combines strategic connections, proven professional development programs, a respected forum for new ideas, and original research to accelerate careers for women and boost talent initiatives for companies. Under Terry’s leadership, Inforum has become a trusted ally and sought-after resource in helping companies advance gender diversity to build inclusive work environments. Inforum’s research-based leadership development programs have been widely used by automotive companies for current and future women leaders, and Inforum also publishes the biennial Michigan Women’s Leadership Report, which tracks women’s leadership in the state’s publicly traded companies. Terry serves on the boards of Cranbrook Institute of Science; The Nature Conservancy of Michigan; and Rebel Nell LLC.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was brought to Inforum by seeing the impact of inequity early in life. I saw how transformative it is for families, individuals and companies when women are full participants in the economy. In my family, women were on occasion the bread winners, which was rare in the time period and culture. Early in my career, I witnessed the impact women can have when they are fully present in teams, in critical mass when their voices are heard. Seeing the value diverse leadership brings made Inforum a standout place for me to focus my efforts.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your organization?
One of the most memorable was securing Sherron Watkins, the Enron vice president who warned CEO Ken Lay about the accounting irregularities that brought down the company, as a speaker. We thought it’d be amazing to hear her story. I looked her up in the phone book, called her at home, and she answered! She was inundated with speaking requests, but Inforum became the first place she spoke after testifying before Congress. We had 1,300 people in the room, and you could’ve heard a pin drop. It was an amazing experience! She is one of the most values-driven people I’ve ever known.
It is also remarkable to me that a former Inforum board member became the CEO of one of the largest companies of the world, General Motors. It has been amazing to see Mary Barra’s leadership at GM and the balanced representation on GM’s board as a result of her efforts. Mary has had a very unusual path to the top at GM, and her many relationships with strong women have helped lead her to where she is today. Mary makes the extra effort to make GM’s workplace inclusive.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Mistakes I made when first starting were centered around failing to speak up with a good idea. At the time, I didn’t think I had the standing to successfully express the ideas I had. I’ve recognized later in my career that the only standing needed to share a good idea is to simply have one. There were many times I didn’t speak up, but the exact thing I was thinking became the transformative idea executed within the company. This mistake may not be funny in the traditional sense, but it is funny looking back to think that I couldn’t share what was on my mind.
What do you think makes your organization stand out? Can you share a story?
Inforum stands out because of the unique, powerful, strategic networks that allow for things happen for people in organizations. An example of the magic of Inforum was displayed at a recent meeting of our TechnologyNEXT industry group. One of our board members who owns a large technology-focused company attended and brought with her six young women of color who are learning to code through a Detroit-based organization. The host of the event, who is the CIO of a large financial institution in the Detroit area, hired all six women on the spot. This executive is part of Inforum’s Men as Allies group and has made it a national goal for his company’s technology division to be comprised of 50 percent women — a bold goal in a field where there is often a struggle trying to find qualified professionals. The magic of the Inforum network brought everyone together and provided a wonderful opportunity for these young women. All parties involved made the effort to engage and participate. Inforum provides a platform where real actions and results can be achieved for women.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How will they help people?
An exciting project that has been in the works for quite some time is Inforum’s Men as Allies roundtable. This was a group that was operating behind the scenes, but we are now able to share the concept and execution of that concept more publicly. Men as Allies includes male leaders from some of Michigan’s largest companies who are collaborating to identify how they can leverage their spheres of influences and inspire change in their organizations. The challenge is finding ways to push through the obstacles and work together to demonstrate how women’s continued progress is in the best interest of all. In this time of talent shortage, we need all the talent at the table, not half of it sitting on the sidelines. Male leaders want to be part of making that happen.
Men as Allies is solution-focused and a natural next step in the women’s movement. It provides information, inspiration, learning, and discovery of ideas that can be taken back to each individual company. These men lead by example, modeling what male allies represent in public spaces. These individuals are impactful because of the roles they hold within their companies, and are forthright about running equitable workplaces. Their discussions include developing diverse work places and growing talent pipelines that help overcome unconscious biases.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Define diversity broadly and hold yourself accountable for making it happen. Not just in gender and race, but in life stages. To hold yourself accountable, it’s not enough to have a policy; it needs to be ingrained in the day-to-day actions and behaviors of the company. You have to hold yourself accountable for doing the hard work to create a culture where every voice is heard.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Communicate often and in a transparent manner. Teams today may not be as traditional as in former years, where all employees worked under the same roof. The best ideas can come from anyone on a team. It’s important to spend the bulk of your time making sure people are engaged and know that they can make a difference.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
There have been many people along the way who have helped me. Early on in my career, I was the CEO at a small nonprofit. There was a board member who believed in me before I believed in myself. Without me being aware, this person was quietly positioning me for opportunities that ended up being transformative. The value of that in retrospect cannot be overstated. It helped me get further faster and develop meaningful relationships. There has been a lot of change at Inforum as the world has changed. There are board members at Inforum who truly embrace our vision, help remove barriers and support the vision in spite of the resistance along the way. These people have helped lead in significant ways to support the vision we have at Inforum.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Because of the success of Inforum and my visibility as a leader, I’ve been able to have really candid conversations with business leaders about what inclusion looks like. These conversations are often challenging leaders on their own values and view of the world to proactively create change. It’s rewarding to see how these transformative conversations exponentially impact corners of the corporate world.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned from My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Becoming a leader is a process and does not happen in one day. It’s really important to get comfortable with the fact that it’s a journey, and become adept at asking for and receiving feedback along the way. I’ve been with many CEOs who’ve turned to me after giving a speech or chairing a meeting to ask how they did. I’ve come to understand the power in asking that question and watched as the best leaders use that feedback to continually sharpen their game.
2. Leadership is a team sport and many times it’s about getting out of the way of talented people and allowing them to lead. One of our team members at Inforum is brilliant at speaking to companies about the benefits of gender balance in the workplace, and she loves doing it. Another is the best project manager and process designer with whom I’ve ever worked. We’ve seen our impact and outcomes grow through their leadership.
3. Leadership is not positional, but it is about influence and can — and does — come from any role within the organization. One of the most important innovations we made at Inforum came from one of our newest employees because she had “fresh eyes” and was closest to our customers.
4. There is always room for growth as a leader. You’re never done; it’s not like you arrive one day having mastered leadership skills. I think that the two most important components of that are self-awareness and resilience. I remember reading somewhere that leadership was a journey of self-discovery, and it’s a process of constantly working on your own awareness to understand your own internal motivations and blind spots, and how that impacts the rest of your team. With resilience, you’re going to get knocked down from time to time, but having the ability to get back up is critical.
5. Leaders grow leaders. It’s important to provide opportunities and experiences to others. In my experience, most leaders are not consciously aware of this, but when they do help grow others’ leadership skills, it’s a differentiator. Often times it comes with experience and wisdom, and people get better later in life at growing the next generation of leaders.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
The world, the country and the state has so much more work to do to see the value and potential that people bring instead of limiting them by their socioeconomic background, age, race, gender, etc. Seeing potential more broadly transforms workplaces and people’s lives.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite quote is from Ruth Bader Ginsberg: “Fight for the things you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” I think this captures my career journey and the power of our network here in Michigan to make strides for women in the business community.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why?
Dr. Marylou Jepsen, who has had an incredible career in artificial intelligence. She has worked for Facebook and Google, and she has founded an incredible startup, OpenWater, focused on high-resolution, low-cost imaging technologies. I heard her speak at our Auto Show breakfast and she is brilliant.
5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Founded My Company: “Talk to everyone; immerse yourself in your community” with Darby Jackson
Talk to everyone. Especially as a young entrepreneur, it’s important to immerse yourself in your community and build a tribe of mentors around you that have done this before. Right now, I say yes to almost every single networking event, I grab coffee with someone new almost every week and I’m constantly reaching out to expanders (people that I admire) via Instagram or LinkedIn.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Darby Jackson. Darby is the Co-Founder of Après, a protein-based replenishment beverage designed for the modern health and wellness consumer. Après is a first of its kind beverage designed with organic plant protein, MCTs from organic virgin coconut oil and electrolytes from organic coconut water. As a former health coach and personal trainer, Jackson struggled to find the perfect post-workout snack to recommend to her clients. All of the protein products on the market screamed ‘bulk and biceps’, had a terrifying ingredient list or were too inconvenient to consume on-the-go. The brand’s mission is to help consumers give back to their bodies with the right ingredients so that they can move forward and own whatever comes next.
Thank you so much for all of these great insights! What brought you to this specific career path?
Prior to Après, I had my own health and wellness coaching and personal training practice in San Francisco. It was very clear to me that there was a misalignment between true wellness and body image expectations. To that end, I made it my mission to help clients repair their relationship with food and their body in an effort to help them be truly healthy and happy. The practice expanded quickly as I became the go-to health coach on KTVU Channel 2 and began consulting for several fitness startups in Silicon Valley.
Soon thereafter, I met my Co-Founder Sonny McCracken. Sonny and I were very aligned on the fact that there was nothing post-workout for the modern consumer. Everything from a protein perspective was either geared towards men, bodybuilders or had an ingredient list I didn’t feel comfortable recommending to my clients. Despite rapid growth in wellness and boutique fitness, there wasn’t a post-workout protein drink that spoke to this consumer. There was a massive void in the post-workout protein category, so we decided to fill it!
Can you share your story of Grit and Success? First can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your company.
Après is the cleanest shelf stable protein product on the market, which is why it took us nearly two years to make. Our combination of ingredients, which include organic plant proteins, MCTs from virgin coconut oil, and electrolytes from coconut water, along with its shelf stability, make it the first of its kind. As pioneers in our category, we had an uphill battle from day one with our formulation. Our formulation team likes to say that we were working on the edges of food science! We went through 200+ iterations on the formula and then even had it turn to foam during our first major production run. This was all before we’d even launched! As former athletes, Sonny and I are not strangers to hard work and grit. So, after our first product run completely flopped, we regrouped and were off to the races yet again!
Sonny and I have also both sacrificed a lot personally to build Après. We both invested personally in the first round. For me, that meant selling my home and putting some of that cash into the company. For Sonny, that meant cashing out his 401k to help get the company off the ground. After that, we didn’t pay ourselves for our first two years and even now, barely take home a paycheck. Entrepreneurship definitely isn’t glamorous!
Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were hard?
I’ve always been highly motivated, sometimes even to a fault. As a young adult my goal was to make the US Women’s National Water Polo team and play in the Olympics, and I was willing to make major sacrifices for it. I missed prom, my high school graduation and multiple other major life events to get to practice and play in tournaments around the world. I’m no stranger to hard work and discipline. In fact, over the years I’ve had to learn to give myself time and space away from the grind. It’s easy for me to work myself in to the ground only to find myself exhausted and underperforming due to a lack of self-care.
To that end, since starting Après, I’ve had to learn to balance my drive with time to check out and live my life. Having grit and drive are paramount when building a company but self-care and giving back to your body are just as important!
How are things today?
Fantastic! It’s very clear that we are filling a need in the market. We have 600+ 4.9 star ratings on our site, our repeat purchase rates are best in class, we open almost one new boutique fitness studio per day and we are starting to expand our retail footprint quickly in Southern California. We were also recently featured in Forbes, Oprah Magazine and Vogue. 2019 is going to be a really big year for us!
Share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lessons you learned from that?
This certainly wasn’t funny at the time but I look back on it now as a huge learning experience and something I can laugh at. One of our very first pitches was in front of a very well renowned female VC in San Francisco. She was someone I’d looked up to for years and now we finally had the chance to pitch her! Instead of delivering the pitch of my dreams, I fell flat on my face. I stumbled over my words, had trouble articulating our vision and couldn’t answer more than half of her questions. Let’s just say, she never got back to us after that!
Despite the meeting being a total fail, it was actually a big win for me personally. I immediately went home and wrote down all of the questions that she’d asked me and then how I’d properly answer them. Over the next week, I practiced answering those questions with my husband so that I’d be crisp, clear and concise for my future pitches!
What do you think makes your company stand out?
In many ways, Après is creating a category. If you think about the protein category, for years it’s been dominated by old-school products for men that promise more bulk and bigger biceps. Demand for protein products is growing and actually expected to double from 2015 to 2022. That’s not because NFL players are drinking more protein. It’s because a new lifestyle athletes are beginning to incorporate protein in to their routine. This consumer needs something different from both an ingredient and positioning standpoint. We believe that we’ve set ourselves up to be the perfect solution for this new modern health and wellness consumer.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them thrive and not “burn out”
Your recovery time is just as important as the time you spend working. My blessing and my curse is that I’m an incredibly hard worker; I always have been able to work for hours on end and knock out my to-do lists. Over the years I’ve had to learn (the hard way) that working 16-hour days is not the answer and generally causes me to exhaust myself and lower performance in the days that follow. Prioritizing family time, getting in a workout and taking vacation time is critical for my success (sanity!) and the success of the business.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped you get to where you are? Can you share a story?
I follow quite a few “expanders” or people that I look up to that have served as major sources of inspiration for me over the years. The first is Brendan Burchard, an author and motivational speaker. I heard Brendon speak at The Bulletproof Conference in Pasadena almost 4 years ago and will never forget a message that he hit home with the audience that day. He said, “high performers don’t have energy, they create energy.” What he means by this is that you are the power plant for your own energy and are therefore responsible for making it. Don’t play victim to what you feel might be a lack of energy. Instead, do what it takes to generate as much energy as possible. This means focusing on a healthy diet, exercise and wellness routines that make you show us as the best version of yourself.
Another woman by the name of Lacy Phillips from To Be Magnetic has really helped me learn to find a voice in my work. As an introvert, I struggled early on to find the courage to speak up and follow my intuition, especially in an industry that is dominated by men. Through courses with Lacy, I’ve learned to be confident in my voice, articulate my thoughts and stand up for what I believe in.
It’s certainly a process but surrounding myself with expanders like the ones I mentioned above has helped me grow tremendously on this wild entrepreneurial ride!
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
It’s clear that as a society we still have a lot of work to do around body image and the expectations that are set for women, especially. My mission in my health coaching practice was to help clients heal their relationship with food and their bodies only to realize through Après, that this relationship is even more strained than I initially thought, particularly in the protein category.
For years, people — especially women — have been told to exercise more, eat less and drink liquid meal replacements to look their best. It’s created a culture of negativity and anxiety around food that makes us feel like we aren’t enough. Instead, at Après we practice our brand ethos which is to cultivate self-love and empower the individual to replenish and give back to their body. To that end, it’s been really beautiful to build a company with a mission that aligns so deeply with my personal one.
What are 5 things you wish someone had told you before you started your company.
Take breaks. It’s ok to leave the office early, plan vacations or take it easy one day. The first three years at Après were total insanity and it took toll on my body and brain. From day one I was going full force, with all of my energy, but it exhausted me to the core. For a while, I wasn’t showing up with my best foot forward. Instead, I was just focused on keeping my eyes open. Looking back, I wish I’d approached this more like a marathon instead of a sprint. Now, I know how important it is to prioritize my health.
Entrepreneurship is not sexy. Instagram is really great at glorifying everything, especially the lives of successful entrepreneurs that you look up to. What it doesn’t show is the gritty behind the scenes stuff that it took for them to get there. I sling 12-packs of Après out of my car every day, I stock grocery shelves overnight at our retailer locations, and I wake up at 6am on weekends to deliver product to studios. It’s not a glamorous life to start, but it’s definitely a fun, wild ride!
Talk to everyone. Especially as a young entrepreneur, it’s important to immerse yourself in your community and build a tribe of mentors around you that have done this before. Right now, I say yes to almost every single networking event, I grab coffee with someone new almost every week and I’m constantly reaching out to expanders (people that I admire) via Instagram or LinkedIn.
Build a solid foundation with your Co-Founder at the beginning. I have an incredible Co-Founder in Sonny and am grateful for the hard work we’ve put in to communicating with one another from day one. Communication and being on the same page with your business partner is critical for your businesses’ success. We have a set one-on-one meeting every week on Friday’s to check in on each other’s personal lives, get stuff off of our chests and get an overall pulse check on our sanity.
Think about your personal finances and talk to a financial advisor. Businesses always take longer to get off the ground than you think meaning, it will be much longer than you think before you get anywhere close to a decent paycheck. Talk to a financial advisor before you get started so that you understand what your personal needs are while building your business. The last thing you want is to be struggling personally while also sinking all of your time and energy into your business.
Thank you so much for all of these great insights!
Confidence is key in leadership. By giving my team autonomy and challenging them to leave their comfort zone, I find they are increasingly innovative, creative and passionate about Valani. Seeing them flourish, gives me immense joy.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Heena Shah of Valani Atelier. Heena’s evolution as a designer is a story of a modern woman striving for excellence in every aspect of her life. From her pursuits in the art of sculpture to her early career in industrial engineering in consulting and at Google, Heena has found herself alongside equally confident and ambitious women, bold but never anything less than themselves.Trained at the Gemological Institute of America (GIA), Heena became the youngest jewelry designer to win six prestigious AGTA Spectrum awards, including in the Platinum Guild (PGI) and Women’s Jewelry Association (WJA) categories. Valani’s legacy of deeply rooted connections to families in the gem world gave her a first-hand education in gemstones. Meeting mine operators in Brazil, gold experts in Italy, and master gem polishers in Thailand, she discovered a love for precious gemstones.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost” J. R. R. Tolkien
Not all paths are planned, I was mesmerized by the specialty of stones my (Valani) family had developed an expertise in, on a trip to Brazil visiting mines situated in the countryside of Mina Gerais. Seeing them take rough gemstone from the miners hands, study it, then work with artisans to cut and polish it to perfection was remarkable. What started as a passion for design and an interest in creating pieces that brought gemstones to forefront, became a career, and snowballed into the role of creative director of Valani.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Every colored gemstone is unique. Unlike diamonds with their GIA grading, there are no generalized classifications that exist in emeralds, rubies, and sapphires. Valani’s passion for gemstones sets us apart from the masses, it makes designing for each individual piece much more technically challenging and so much more intriguing. Today’s woman showcases her individuality through color gemstones she can buy for herself.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I always dreamed of using contemporary design to elevate artisans in developing countries. Collaborating with people around the world to create incredibly rich pieces in a sustainable way that is equitable and uses materials responsibly has been the most exciting project we have recently embarked on.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Confidence is key in leadership. By giving my team autonomy and challenging them to leave their comfort zone, I find they are increasingly innovative, creative and passionate about Valani. Seeing them flourish, gives me immense joy.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1) Stop over-preparing — no product, website, or team will be perfect in the beginning. Be willing to listen, learn and grow along the way.
2) Give your team a sense of purpose, by showing them why they matter and how they contribute to the whole.
3) Focus on a few things that really matter and where you can make a difference.
4) Be Genuine and Authentic about what you believe in
5) Learning is a competitive advantage, and the most effective leaders dedicate time to learn.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Success is 10%inspiration and 90% perspiration.” Thomas Edison
You are in charge of your wellbeing — This covers all manner of wellbeing, including your health and family. I can’t stress how important it is to make time for those things, and not excuses. On the career side, money and trajectory, while you may be able to trust a handful (and I mean maybe 3–5 people) to go to the mattresses for you — the truth is that most people, when real money is involved, get very selfish very quickly. This is the time to remember sensibility — know your worth, fight for it, do not settle. You are needed and valued and your stake in the future of your company should reflect that.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kerrin Mitchell. Kerrin is a technology entrepreneur working to change the way the world gives by connecting the entire philanthropic ecosystem through a single network. Her vision to democratize philanthropy ensures every giver has access to the world’s causes, and every doer has access to the world’s funds. Co-founded by Kerrin in 2010, Fluxx serves nearly 300 world-class foundations, including Ford Foundation, Knight Foundation and MacArthur Foundation who want to intelligently automate their workflows and elevate operations. She’s been named San Francisco Business Journal’s 40 Under 40, is a native of Silicon Valley and spent her early career in Finance and Operations at Cisco Systems.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Looking back at my career, I can now see the thread that connected me to where I am today — however that is really only in retrospect. Graduating in 2001 from Duke, amidst the recession, I quickly learned the lesson that sometimes you take a job because life dictates that path — whether it’s timing, location, a tough market, or another person’s influence on your decision. Whatever it was, I didn’t put much stock in casing the job, but found that if I put my head down, I could find something really compelling (sometimes in the cracks of the boundary), and I encoded it for the sake of new learning.
While my early days were spent in finance and accounting at a large corporation (Cisco Systems), I knew this wasn’t a “lifer” play for me. Cisco taught me a lot about working hard no matter what, it taught me the value of organizational structure and measurement, it definitely taught me humility — and low and behold, I even learned accounting. It was also during this time that I got more involved with nonprofits in my spare time, working pro bono for a philanthropic organization. Philanthropy, was always a common denominator in the chapters of life, but it was just that — a side thing that I enjoyed.
Eight years later, Fluxx was born was an opportunity to see if a hobby could be a career — and it honestly feels like a bit of the culmination of all the best (and hardest) parts of my previous jobs combined. That revenue and accounting skillset paid off in spades at Fluxx — not having to pay a CFO in the early days was a massive budget saver. I became a jack of all trades and a master of none.
As Fluxx went through its various chapters over the last nine years, my role evolved to take on a nebulous of new things. It was my job to figure those jigsaw puzzles out, and then hire someone smarter than me in that topic to manage and scale it. There’s a lot of passion and ego that can come along with starting a company and knowing when to give over reigns to someone else is likely one of the most important lessons I’ve learned.
Looking back at it all, it makes me giggle a bit when I speak with younger ambitious folks about their dreams — and their 5- and 10-year plans, and the blind determination to enact them immediately. It is inspirational to see that directive, though I can’t say I was (or am) that way.
All said and done, I can’t say that I would highly recommend my path, thought there is upside in the path of honoring the journey, being happy where you are, picking up things along the way, and finding a way to harmonize those. I found that I tend to trust the universe and that it will lead me places where the sum of the parts will amass into something good. Each job or chapter has given me something and it is up to me to honor that.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
The story of Fluxx in the early days was that of the underdog. We were new to the vendor ecosystem, we were confident by unknown, we were motivated more than any company or team I had ever worked with or for. There was something so raw and almost family-like in the early days, where in each win or loss was personal.
I remember showing up in Wellington, Auckland, as a company of 12 people to demo our platform capabilities for three 8-hour demos — and in a head-to-head-to-head battle between Microsoft and Oracle — and Fluxx… and we won the deal. It was incredible. Fluxx, at that time, was an unknown company from America, boasting an innovative cloud software and a vision for what collaboration could look like across the private and public sector.
When I asked them why they chose us, they said “Fluxx believes in the sector and you are building software to fit the exact needs our nonprofits and community — everyone else is just trying to rebrand themselves to fit. But you get it.”
It made me realize we were onto something special, spending our time and our lives, working in a sector that cares. It makes me very happy and proud to know what we came from and what we’ve grown into.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Upon graduating from Duke with an economics degree, the norm was to head to New York City and take up with investment banks and consulting firm — none of which I even applied for, knowing there was a minimum GPA that I didn’t even come close to hitting. I also graduated in 2001, so I understood that any job amidst a crashing global market was a great job. Accounting, it became. And in this field, I learned that, while I was a hardworking, resilient, go-getter personality, skills matter not if you lack an eye for tying out assets and liabilities, and you are in a field that requires it.
Clearly, and as was communicated to me by my VP, finance was not going to be my future — BUT there was consensus that I did have unanticipated raw talent on the sales and business development side of the house (I guess I learned other things in college?)
In that light, choosing the wrong career would have been the “funny mistake” — the painstaking acknowledgment that there some are things I’m incredible at, and other things I truly suck at… sort of funny? In retrospect, sure. The thought of me as an accountant would definitely make anyone that knows me snort their drink and laugh.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Philanthropy is a very fascinating industry in that all the entities therein — private and public — are noncompeting cooperative organizations that have the unified goal of bettering the services going into the community. In that light, we try hard to match the collaborative culture of the industry we serve. Fluxx structures its technology, R&D, metrics, values, employees — everything — to reflect back the mutually shared values. It drives our decisions, our speech, our desire to grow and where to evolve.
One example of this collective thinking around philanthropy took place in New Zealand. From the first engagement Fluxx had with the Community Operations arm of the government, we heard voices — at all levels of management — reiterate how important the end services and nonprofits were to the wellbeing of their country. They valued those relationships and communications and we have built a system around that conversation, for both the grantmakers and grantseekers. This is why we developed Fluxx’s Grantmaker and Grantseeker platforms — to create technology to help make philanthropy flow.
These cloud-based solutions help givers and doers connect, by intuitively automating the daily tasks of both, giving each person the ability to be more efficient and gain visibility into important data. Ultimately, the Fluxx Grantmaker and Grantseeker platforms include solutions for foundations, other grant givers and nonprofits seeking funding. As a result, the Fluxx community is more collaborative and focused on surfacing real-time needs and taking meaningful actions.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I love our company’s commitment to serving the nonprofits community. Our Grantseekers platform helps them use technology to start seeing the benefit and “story” behind their services and social investments. If Fluxx can make the grantmaking ecosystem a smarter and more efficient space, I honestly feel that the world will be a healthier and brighter place. This essential commitment to doing good informs all that I do as an entrepreneur and leader.
I believe that Fluxx has created a framework and common denominator on which foundations and nonprofits interact, changing the conversation to enhance the capacity, open collaboration, and increase transparency across the philanthropic industry. That’s why we recently launched the Fluxx Grantseeker solution, which gives nonprofits an easy-to-use tool to simplify the process of managing grants in one place. With this platform, Grantseekers can foster long-term relationships with foundations by enabling them to spend less time worrying about day-to-day operations and more time furthering their mission.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
My advice: By respecting your lens and your journey, you will find more meaning, joy and gravity in each step. In turn, this authenticity will be the thing that people gravitate towards naturally — and you will be a better manager, leader, and person as a result.
By this, I mean be authentic to who you are — and Know Your Superpower. Don’t read the “Lean In” books and see that as YOUR roadmap. Yes, they have value and yes, they can be empowering to some. Realistically, Sheryl Sandberg might have a different superpower than you, so why would you take her recipe and try to replicate that?
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
When you are managing a large team, realizing that you need to reflect your company’s (and industry’s) values is likely the most important thing. Match culture to strategy to execution. From my experience, co-founding and leading Fluxx from inception to enterprise, I had to assess (and reassess) my leadership approach through the ever-changing lens of what is needed at that exact phase of where we were at.
From bootstrapped infancy, through awkward teen years, and straight to the healthy (both financial and cultural) company it is today, Fluxx had a LOT of chapters. Based on my experience with Fluxx, here is my advice based on those chapters:
· Under 20 employees: Focus on setting culture, otherwise it will set itself (and not in a good way)
· From 20–40 employees: Process, Process, Process. Both internal and external.
· From 60–80 employees: Find and pay for the best mid management (Sr Mgr / Director level) you can find, as it is worth its weight in gold to remove you from daily operations and let you evolve into the leader you need to be!
· From 80–100 employees: Communication is key — on every level. What you say, how you say it, when you say it, doing what you’re going to do…say it again. And again.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Kristy Gannon, our Fluxx COO — Over the last eight years working side-by-side with Kristy, we’ve led the company from early startup to established enterprise. She is incredible in her talents, brilliance, and patience. What I find most captivating about her is that she is an introvert by nature, so she takes all the greatest habits of an introvert and uses that skillset artfully. Her listening, deep thinking “look before leaping” personality matches that of the philanthropic community she serves. She values connections, takes the time to appreciate things, fosters a great team environment, and forms deep and meaningful relationships. This makes her an authentic leader and one that people gravitate towards naturally. She is directly responsible for executing the vision of our company. In a land where the loudest voice always wins in social media and the narcissists rise, she is a true leader and a respected figure in philanthropy (and life). The truth is that I don’t know what my world, life, career, character would look like without her. She is a NorthStar for me, in many ways.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
At our core, Fluxx is about helping others to reach their goals. We’ve developed technology that has been impactful to thousands of nonprofits and foundations, as we’ve eliminated day-to-day operations burdens which has allowed new champions who may not be as well-known but are doing some of the most impactful things for our society to bring their voice forward and make it heard. I believe that Fluxx has played a small part in allowing these new voices to be heard.
Fluxx also walks-the-walk when it comes to making change. We do this through our involvement in Pledge 1% — a movement, a commitment, and a promise — that allows us to expand on our company DNA by donating our time, our equity and our product.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Choose your partners, investors, and co-founders wisely — In life, we spend a lot of time choosing our partners in love and in friendship. In business, we tend to be a bit more opportunistic, but we shouldn’t be. The truth is that you often spend MORE of your waking hours at work with these other people in your life — who, if you rushed into the decision to partner with, may not share your ideals or values or even communication style. Having a business partner or investor that has constant conflict will wear on you over time and it just isn’t worth it. Use your judgment early and wisely before venturing into something new. Just like in your personal life, getting married after knowing someone for a week is a bad idea. Get to know them, how they act when things are good — and even more important, how they deal with adversity and challenge.
2. Don’t underestimate the importance of documentation and details — In the early days of Fluxx, I found that we glossed over a lot of VERY important decisions that would have caused “so much” friction that we just avoided them all together. This was important stuff, like equity in pay, stock allocation percentages, valuations, and leadership, even process administration and accountability. And as the years go on grit and tenacity and a mentality of “I’m sure they’ll do the right thing when push comes to shove” seemed to work. Until it didn’t…and then I wished we had taken the time to put all of those details in writing.
3. You are in charge of your wellbeing — This covers all manner of wellbeing, including your health and family. I can’t stress how important it is to make time for those things, and not excuses. On the career side, money and trajectory, while you may be able to trust a handful (and I mean maybe 3–5 people) to go to the mattresses for you — the truth is that most people, when real money is involved, get very selfish very quickly. This is the time to remember sensibility — know your worth, fight for it, do not settle. You are needed and valued and your stake in the future of your company should reflect that.
4. Embrace Adversity — There is role for adversity in every good lessons-learned story. I like to think it’s in these times when your biggest strengths arise. Birthing out of horrible chaos comes self-preservation and THEN a resiliency. These are big character-building moments that evolve from the worst kind of pain. For me, there was a time where my integrity and character were tested — and broke. At this time, I was my harshest critic, judging myself for not being stronger. The truth is, I just had to get out of that situation and found that everything restored itself. Since then, I am unwavering on my principles. I am proud of who I am today because I went through one hell of time in becoming that. That said, for me, while I have faced horrible adversity from external sources, my largest challenge will always be the internal “impostor” battles with myself. So, I guess it is good to note the obvious to be kind to yourself in all states.
5. An unknown future is ok — I’m glad I never had a crystal ball. If I knew all the crap I had to go through to get here, I might not have done it. In the end, it is a rewarding journey and one aided in an unwavering faith in Fluxx and Fluxx’s vision for what could be.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would likely stay on the previously noted “Know your Superpower” theme — as it is both the correct way to empower people AND it could have some amazing memes and marketing around it. Let me know if any of you want to talk more about it, as I’d be DOWN to help drive that to be a new trend.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead
Play a big game. Why wouldn’t you? If you’re going to work, and work hard, put your time and heart into something that supports your ideals and the community you want to see created in the world. It kills me to see talented and motivated individuals doing ad-bots and other nonsensical money-forward jobs that wreck the fabric of what makes us human.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I am a massive fan of Jonathan Van Ness (@jvn), who I recently saw crush it at Radio City (front row!). I pulled a day-of last-second trigger on a sold out ticket, for a night I won’t ever forget. Jonathan is a voice for strength of character as the definition of beauty, in every single capacity it exists. It would be very cool to talk to him on his podcast called “Getting Curious” (@CuriouswithJVN)
In that same vein, I would love to meet Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) as she and I share many of the same ideals for what women can stand for, in and among any industry, when they channel their own unique power.
Announce your goals — One of my goals is to own a private plane by 2025. Back in 2018, I ran a Facebook ad promoting my goal to 10,000 people, and had a fun dialog with all the strangers that wanted to fly in my plane. But I had pilots messaging me wanting jobs, and entrepreneurs messaging me that they would race me. It really motivated me and made the goal seem real.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Chris Ronzio. Chris built a nationwide video production company that sold over $3 million in youth sporting event videos before he was 25 years old. In 2013, he sold that business and founded an Operations Consulting firm that helps other entrepreneurs create scalable systems and processes. Over the last 5 years, the firm, Organize Chaos, has worked with hundreds of companies in dozens of industries and invested in building 6 of those businesses to over $30 million in annual revenue. Now, Chris’ third business, Trainual, is an online platform for business owners and employees to document what they do in simple step-by-step processes. Chris and his team are on a mission to systematize 25,000 small businesses through their technology.
Thank you for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
When I started my first company, a video production company, I was doing every role in the business. I was the camera operator, the sales rep, the editor, the fulfilment manager, customer support — all of it. I was in high school at the time, and loved getting to learn every new job. I was growing a lot. When I went to college, I couldn’t miss class to go out on every shoot, so I had to start building a network of crew. I would take the train into the city to meet with students at the film school, and I’d scour Craigslist to find freelancers. Each time, I was training people over several hours of hands on experience, and when that got too burdensome, I started writing a manual for the basics that each crew member needed to know.
As my company grew, we eventually trained over 300 videographers and built a nationwide network of camera operators to shoot events around the US. Training, systems and processes have always been important to my success, and now with Trainual, I get to help thousands of companies experience the same benefit that I did.
Can you share your story of Grit and Success? First can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your journey?
Starting Trainual was a huge risk. I had two kids, a mortgage, 6 employees, overhead, and hardest of all, a profitable business. But I knew I couldn’t start split my focus and still make Trainual succeed. So, we shut down all of the consulting, turned away new clients, and went from having a 7 figure consulting business to having over $300k in personal debt, trying to fund our growth. But I believed in the product and the mission, and I knew that if I kept focusing on that, the money would catch up.
Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were so hard?
I was sourcing my drive from everywhere. I actually keep a little Evernote note called “motivation”, and every time someone doubts me, they go onto my little motivation list, because I want to prove them wrong. Every time someone believes in me, they go on my motivation list, because I want to prove them right.
I started running last year, and went from not being in shape at all to running a half marathon, and then competing in a Triathlon. With your body, it’s easy to see a finish line and push yourself toward it, so I think doing that helped me build my mental readiness for the effort it takes to build a Saas company.
So, how are things going today? How did Grit lead to your eventual success?
Today, we have over 1200 companies using Trainual in 70+ countries around the world, and we’re approaching $2M ARR after only 14 months. It’s been a wild ride, but we are pushing every month to tackle new projects and ideas and not get comfortable.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
We built a whole marketing campaign around sheep, because we liked the idea of “cloning yourself” in business. We printed up sheep themed T Shirts, sponsored and event and handed out Sheep postcards, and in the end it was not the image that made people think about successful training. Another time, we broke the whole app on mobile and didn’t realize it, and sales stopped for almost a week and we couldn’t figure out why.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
We stand out because we’re entrepreneurs. We have run businesses ourselves, and we consulted for over 150 companies while building Trainual, so we know firsthand the problems that growing companies are facing. In fact, we ARE our customer because we’re growing and trying to document our systems too. So, its cliche, but we built this for us.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?
Invest hard in your personal life. Most days, I spend the first 5–6 hours of the day focused on me. I work out, I meditate, I read books and listen to podcasts, I journal, I take my son to school, I cook breakfast for my wife. It’s like filling my tank with fuel each day so that when I get to work, I have the energy to crush whatever I’m working on.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
Too many to mention! My best friend is the owner of Design Pickle, a very successful graphic design Saas company. I helped him grow his business in the early days and marveled at his success. In 2017, I offered to sell him Trainual, because “he was the marketer”. He pushed me to become a Saas CEO, and stop consulting, and it’s changed my life.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
My story is just getting started, but one thing I did along the way was starting a project for children entrepreneurs called “One Small Business”. We taught a class of 3rd graders about entrepreneurship over a semester, and it culminated with launching lemonade stands at a big school event. I want to foster more entrepreneurs like this.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 pieces of advice about how one can develop Grit? (Please share a story or example for each)
Launch something in 24 hours — I once started a business with a friend overnight. We booked a hotel room and committed to launching the business and getting a sale before we left the hotel. It really shows you how to stop wasting time and just get it done.
Announce your goals — One of my goals is to own a private plane by 2025. Back in 2018, I ran a Facebook ad promoting my goal to 10,000 people, and had a fun dialog with all the strangers that wanted to fly in my plane. But I had pilots messaging me wanting jobs, and entrepreneurs messaging me that they would race me. It really motivated me and made the goal seem real.
Go into debt — If you believe in your idea, put your money where your mouth is. Don’t hedge your bet with investor money. I went $300k in debt to push off raising money until I was covering my costs, and I saved giving away a major percentage of the business.
Compete in physical events — I registered for a spartan race, then a half marathon, then a triathlon, and now I’m signed up for a half Ironman, and a marathon in Antarctica. If you have something on the calendar, and you know you’d be in physical danger if you don’t train, you tend to stick to the training plan. Same goes for business. Set revenue targets and don’t allow yourself the chance to miss them.
Help other people with their problems — I did this for years consulting, and it was like I was shouldering the burden of so many other people’s problems, I thought focusing just on mine would be a relief.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Write down what you do. It’s not just for your employer, it’s for you. It helps you recognize where you stand and where you want to get to. You’ll see things you want to delegate, and internalize those goals. You’ll be free to take on other opportunities, and not be stuck in your job because you don’t want to let down your boss or your friend.
Maintain an open-door policy — your team is looking to you for advice and leadership. When they know your door is open, they will feel comfortable reaching out to you when issues arise. You will have earlier insight into opportunities and challenges, and see qualities in your team members that will allow you to identify future leaders or potential performance concerns. To accommodate larger teams or aggressive travel schedules, you may need to schedule these meetings as a weekly one-on-one to keep these conversations a priority.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stephanie Shreve. Stephanie was named Vice President of Customer Success at PowerChord in 2019. A 20-year industry veteran with a history of demonstrated success in marketing and brand messaging, Shreve provides a seamless on-boarding program for new PowerChord clients in order to expedite each company’s time to launch. In her role as Vice President of Customer Success, Shreve collaborates with potential and existing clients to identify their business goals and opportunities, and bring them to life through their digital presence. She provides ongoing education and training for existing clients to encourage continued growth. She does this through webinars, presentations, emails, videos, case studies and testimonials. Away from PowerChord, Shreve serves the profession through providing thought leadership to the Forbes Agency Council. Her education includes a Master’s degree in Communication from the University of Missouri, St. Louis, and a Bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication from Southeast Missouri State University.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I began my career as a graphic designer, where I was fortunate to gain a wide range of experience in web design, printing, event planning, and advertising basics like co-op fund management. Then moving to an advertising agency, I grew in my career as an account manager and was later promoted to the Director role for our largest client. I worked with our clients as they moved from offline advertising to place their first digital marketing campaigns, launch an email series and build a mobile-optimized website. These exciting transitions to stay ahead of MarCom technology eventually led me to my current role as Vice President of Customer Success at PowerChord. I truly enjoy building an exceptional customer experience where our clients understand and see value in the strength of their online presence.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
PowerChord hosts a biennial Digital Summit for our clients to introduce thought- provoking topics in the digital space. At our most recent event, held in Austin, TX, I had the pleasure to host an on-stage interview of John Ellis, the former Global Technologist and Head of the Ford Developer Program. We discussed the future of connected devices, driverless cars, data privacy, and the need for manufacturers to think like software developers. A dynamic and engaging conversation developed between our clients’ questions and ours. I was delighted to be part of this event that was designed to help our clients shape the future of their businesses.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I once shipped a box of DVDs (I know, I’m aging myself) to a client. I proudly marked that to-do item off my checklist and didn’t think of it again. I later was asked by the client about that box and realized that it had not made it to the client. The owner of the agency advised me that if I planned to grow in my position, I would have to learn how to follow through on tasks and button up the details. I eventually learned that while I may not be perfect, I should always aim to be conscientious of the details of any work I do. This piece of advice has served me well over the years.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
PowerChord is focused on building and expanding the local online presence for brands through their network of individual locations. This gives us the unique opportunity to work with worldwide brands, as well as thousands of small businesses. We strive to be an extension of their marketing teams — a true partner in their business to attract and engage potential customers to achieve business growth. It is truly rewarding when a small business owner sees growth and sales as a result of their local marketing campaign.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
One of my goals for this year is to advance our training programs to include gamification and personalization and to make them available on-demand. Many of our small business customers are busy running their company, and have not taken the time or had the training to fully understand the impact that hyper-local targeted digital marketing can have on their business. Through engaging and educational training, we plan to provide these customers with the tools they need to fully leverage the wide range of digital marketing channels available to achieve their business goals.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
I have been fortunate to work with many strong female colleagues and clients who have provided counsel and advice to guide the evolution of my career. Female leaders have an opportunity to seek out talent from their team and encourage them to grow. That may include providing training opportunities, or pushing teammates outside their comfort zone, but always being there to support and provide advice as necessary.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
When managing a large team, look for leaders within the group. These leaders can help you provide guidance to the less experienced teammates — this will help ensure that each team member receives the direction they need to excel at their work. The leaders will also receive valuable management experience to advance their own career. And although it may seem time-consuming, weekly one-on-one meetings with each direct report will allow you to stay close to their projects, and provide advice and mentorship. If appropriate, document your one-on-one meeting notes, which will be very valuable during annual performance reviews.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful toward who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
While an undergraduate, I had the fortune of having Dr. Susan Gonders as a professor in the mass communication department, as well as my guidance counselor. Before teaching, she had a successful career in public relations. She had a wealth of knowledge about how to convey ideas through communication, and pushed her students to write with the reader in mind. In addition to the many valuable lessons that I received from her, she was also instrumental in getting my career started. Knowing my goals and my skill set, she introduced me to a colleague to interview for an internship. That internship led to my first job, where I met the woman who would introduce me to my next job. The successful career that I enjoy today was set in motion with the help of Dr. Gonders, to whom I will always be grateful.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
As a proud mom of two daughters and a son, it is important to me to teach them kindness, generosity and empathy. As they get older and have more access to social media and technology, those lessons become even more important. We have an obligation as parents and adults to educate our young people that their choice of words matter — both in person and online. As a parent, I regularly monitor my children’s online activity to ensure that they are making not only safe choices, but also kind choices.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Maintain an open-door policy — your team is looking to you for advice and leadership. When they know your door is open, they will feel comfortable reaching out to you when issues arise. You will have earlier insight into opportunities and challenges, and see qualities in your team members that will allow you to identify future leaders or potential performance concerns. To accommodate larger teams or aggressive travel schedules, you may need to schedule these meetings as a weekly one-on-one to keep these conversations a priority.
Continuous learning — new technology is introduced daily, and you must continue learning to keep your business and your customers ahead of the competition. Even as an expert in your field, look for opportunities to expand your knowledge to educate your team and clients.
Leverage relationships — your business partners and colleagues have a wealth of information that you can leverage to grow your company. Include vendors and partners in customer discussions when they can provide additional insight and information. Your customers will appreciate that you are willing to apply creative methods to solve their problems.
Be of service — as a leader, an attitude of service will spread quickly among your team. When I find myself overwhelmed by tasks, I remember it’s my job to be of service for both my team and my clients. It allows me to step back and look at my tasks not as simply projects to be done, but as a way to help another person accomplish their work. Projects become more meaningful and productive — this mindset also prioritizes work toward those with the highest value.
Take time for yourself — it can be very easy to allow work to overtake personal time, and sometimes urgent deadlines require it. Make it a point to make this an exception, however, not the rule. I have spent many nights working into the late hours. But when I made a conscious decision to stop, I actually received a client compliment that I sounded more “chipper.” Working late into the night, which I thought was done to serve our customers better, actually became a detriment.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
As the mom of three school-age children, I see distinct gaps in the knowledge that children and parents have in the tools needed to keep them safe online. More education is needed for parents to monitor their children’s activities, and more education is needed for children to protect their privacy. Children need to be educated in a way that is relatable, and that they will take seriously, without instilling unnecessary fear. There are resources available, and a movement to bring this information to parents and children would be extremely valuable to protect their safety, while letting them enjoy the many benefits available to them online.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I am inspired by Mother Teresa’s quote, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” I think of this often both in my personal and professional life. Ideally my interactions with others will make their day better, whether that is a simple smile, a laugh or a word of advice. From holding a door open for another person, to letting a car in front of me, to working with a colleague to solve a problem — these actions all have the ability to make another person’s day better, and hopefully they pay it forward to another. Small acts of kindness can build a happier world.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Several years ago, I read Basic Black, by Cathie Black, former president and chairman of Hearst Magazines. Her book gave real-life, relatable stories from her career, with actionable advice for those looking to advance their careers. While her experience was largely in print media, not digital as mine has been, her ability to identify opportunities and her willingness to take calculated risks was very inspiring.
Allow your passion to be on display for everyone to see and feel. Passion is contagious, and there is nothing better than a leader who displays their passion and commitment every day. When done effectively, the organization feels more like a community than a group of employees. When leading the turnaround of a company, I demonstrated my passion around developing a trusting relationship with the customer. We did this by focusing on their experience with our products and our employees, making sure they knew we were listening. I even called or wrote to customers personally to let them know I cared, and the company cared. Whenever there was a product issue or concern, the decision of what to do was easy because we did the right thing. In one situation, we changed the design of a particular product after receiving a request from a customer regarding safety and comfort. It was wonderful feedback and it showed we listened made changes. Love what you do, and it will show.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Carol Bramson, the CEO and Co-Founder of Side by Side Pet Nutrition, a company that focuses on a complete wellness program for pets. Previously, Carol has served as a CEO and Director of private and public companies, including Summer Infant, where she led a financial turnaround. Carol is a former Partner at First Chicago Equity Capital and the Founder of TBG Capital. Carol is deeply passionate about helping people, their families and their pets live better lives, demonstrated by her philanthropic activities and active support for business strategies that improve nutrition, wellness and lifestyle factors.
Thank you for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Early in my career I worked for a healthcare focused venture capital firm by the name of Essex Venture Partner, where we helped the startup of innovative device, pharmaceutical and service companies in the healthcare sector. The opportunity to support businesses that touched peoples lives in a positive way was a great start to a career and a goal I have always strived for throughout my career. We helped to support the launch of ARCH, an innovative venture investor aligned with the University of Chicago.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
The mission of Side by Side is to help pets live longer through whole food nutrition and the principles of eastern food therapy for healing. When I was spending time at our Learning Center in Chicago, we had a visit from Jessie, the founder of Real Dog Moms of Chicago and Puppy Mama to Ragnar, an Australian shepherd/poodle mix. Jessie and her husband had just rescued Ragnar’s littermate from a shelter in Florida, and they drove straight to our store to get help for their new dog. We noticed immediately that their new family member, Fozzie, was terribly inflamed and suffered from excessive heat in his system. We recommended a cooling diet for Fozzie, our Harvest diet, filled with cooling ingredients such as pork, rabbit, celery and spinach. Within a few weeks, Fozzie was demonstrating greater balance and enjoying his new family. It’s so rewarding to bring health and happiness to pets and their families and, in this case, to see brothers come together again as family.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I think it’s very healthy to find humor wherever possible, even when making mistakes. However, it has only been in recent years that I’ve been able to share this perspective in real life. And as a long time perfectionist, I still struggle to find humor in mistakes. The lesson I’ve learned is to be more present, to accept the little twists and turns faced along life’s path, and to know it’s ok.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
The fact that we’re focused on pet wellness and well-being makes us stand out. There are a large and confusing number of pet food companies in the marketplace, but Side by Side is different because we seek to connect with the pet and pet owner on a much more in-depth level to nourish and heal. We’re not transaction focused; we care about learning about pets to help them enjoy better lives. One of our employees took in a foster dog from a puppy mill. This beautiful Samoyed dog, Roma, had spent seven years in a puppy mill, in a cage with limited exposure to sunlight with no playtime. She developed Type 2 Diabetes. Jessie took the time to understand and treat her health issues. Through vet support and nutrition guidance with Side by Side, Roma’s skin and coat, energy and blood sugar levels began to improve. We are available in our locations in Chicago and Telluride or more easily on the phone or through our online chat system. We have staff trained in eastern food therapy and have partnered with vets to support the wellness needs of pets. While this story involves a serious health issue, we meet a variety of pets. Whole food nutrition helps with everything from improving eye clarity, skin and temperament, to the more demanding health issues as those seen with beautiful Roma.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
At Side by Side we’re working on an exciting expansion to our supplements line to include nutraceuticals. We’re planning to launch soon an expanded line of pet nutraceuticals that provide enhanced nutrient profile through a controlled growing environment for the key all-natural, whole food, functional ingredients that will provide the basis for our healing formulations. We’ve demonstrated success in the early testing of these unique ingredients, and we’re excited about the potential. A key element of the Side by Side philosophy is the recognition of the body’s ability to truly absorb the nutritional elements found in food products. When the ingredients are allowed to maintain their natural structure, the body is best prepared to absorb the nutrients. Leafy greens are perfect example, the body is designed to best absorb the fiber, vitamin A and vitamin E in the natural structure and combination, not through a pill or powder supplement.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Whether working in a large corporation or a start-up, the first area of focus in building and supporting a team is to hire individuals who understand and share in the vision and cultural style desired for the company. Whenever possible, bring in individuals who have ‘been there, done that’ in leadership areas, allowing the team to move quickly and hopefully avoid many common set-backs. The leadership role can be lonely if you allow it to be. Enlist others in your journey, such as advisors, investors and ambassadors. Their support can take you to places you would otherwise not go. Be very clear on your mission and translate this into measurable goals for your team. The clarity that comes with a very clear roadmap makes for true transformation and improved execution. Then empower your key employees to make the dreams a reality. With these principles in place, team members will be in a position to best reach their goals and feel the personal reward that comes along with success.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a larger team?
In my experience, the key to managing a larger team is:
As the CEO of a publicly traded company with employees around the world, the key to success was surrounding myself with talented leadership in the key functional areas and allowing them to do what they do. I was fortunate to have been able to bring five direct reports onto the leadership team who had demonstrated experience doing what we needed to get done. This included new hires in the areas of Sales, Marketing, Finance, Product Development and HR. As this was a turnaround situation, the company required a transformation in culture and processes; in order to get change you need to be willing to make change. This proved to be a very successful strategy. Through performance and change in management, the company saw a 3x improvement in stock price in just eight months.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I’ve been very fortunate throughout my career to have been exposed to professionals who have been tremendously supportive of my vision and projects. One individual I met 25 years ago has invested in every company I’ve built since then. The first deal we did together had many challenges, from personnel to industry change. The stress of repeatedly dealing with these situations really helps you to get to know someone. In this case, we worked through each one openly and with great communication and teamwork. We dealt with adversity, learned from it, implemented change strategies, sought outside assistance and didn’t give up. While things didn’t end the way we hoped, we moved through that difficult first situation and onto some exciting and rewarding company building that followed over the ensuing 25 years. There is great truth in the statement, “You learn more from your mistakes than you do from your successes.” I’m grateful for that early experience, but even more thankful to have found such a talented partner to work with in the future.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I’m hopeful that my life’s path has resulted in many examples of goodness well beyond those which I am aware of. Whether it’s been in business or personal encounters, I try to connect and touch the lives of others through kindness and sincerity. Sometimes this is through every day encounters; sometimes through my philanthropic support of causes like the American Heart Association and the tremendous good this organization has done around the world. And today, goodness is seen in every pet life that we have the chance to touch through Side by Side. It is so rewarding to hear the testimonials we’ve received from pet owners regarding the positive transformation in health and wellbeing they’ve seen since transitioning their pets to our food. We call this our Side by Side family. In addition, through our new Side by Side Giving Fund we are sponsoring service dogs with food and wellness counsel. These special animals have a very important role in their families, and we want to make sure they’re at their best every day.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1) Clearly define your mission & culture. When I first stepped in as CEO of a public company that required turnaround, I was quickly faced with some product quality issues. I realized later that my quick and decisive response was a culture-defining moment for the worldwide team. I called customers directly when they had a concern about our products so I might understand first hand what was wrong and give them the reassurance that the highest level of the company truly cared. When you do the right thing, life is easy.
2) Hire experienced individuals and empower them to lead. As a leader, it’s so very important to surround yourself with experienced individuals and to empower them to lead others. It’s tempting as a CEO to get involved in everything because you care so much, but that could limit a company’s success and ability to grow. My most rewarding leadership experience to-date has been with a company where I had the chance to promote or bring in the five individuals that made up my senior leadership team. Each of them had experience in that same role and beyond. Each of them built teams that supported their individual functional areas. While the overarching strategy and culture needs to be consistent throughout the organization, bringing on board key leaders will make the tactical execution of that strategy attainable. It’s important to give them the empowerment they need to do so as they see fit.
3) Communicate clearly and commit to key priorities. You can never over communicate, particularly as it relates to key priorities. Every member of the team will feel like they have an endless list of things to get done, but it’s of critical importance to make sure to identify the key priorities and that these tasks obtain a higher level of focus and execution. Every week, I hold a team meeting which includes three key priorities for each individual. We share where things stand and support each other in getting things done. It’s only after going through all of these priorities that we open up the meeting to discussions of other topics. The meeting is never longer than one hour, and we work together in a collaborative way to execute the key tasks.
4) Set objectives that are measurable. There is a commonly used phrase in leadership that you get what you measure. This is often a key focus when designing incentive compensation plans so the results that are desired are aligned with the measurements used to determine whether an individual has attained the goal. If the objectives and goals are overly theoretical, the performance many be too open to interpretation and a miss on goals. During my experience working with a number of large and small companies, both private and public, I’ve found the management teams and their staffs find it most comforting and clear when there are clear metrics, like sales, gross market, dates for new product launch or specific targets for new innovation. It gives comfort to the employee and the overall team to be able to understand and see their progress in objective terms.
5) Allow your passion to be on display for everyone to see and feel. Passion is contagious, and there is nothing better than a leader who displays their passion and commitment every day. When done effectively, the organization feels more like a community than a group of employees. When leading the turnaround of a company, I demonstrated my passion around developing a trusting relationship with the customer. We did this by focusing on their experience with our products and our employees, making sure they knew we were listening. I even called or wrote to customers personally to let them know I cared, and the company cared. Whenever there was a product issue or concern, the decision of what to do was easy because we did the right thing. In one situation, we changed the design of a particular product after receiving a request from a customer regarding safety and comfort. It was wonderful feedback and it showed we listened made changes. Love what you do, and it will show.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger)
I would hope to inspire a movement around environmental awareness and opportunities to make changes that help to stop and reverse the many ways we’re destroying our environment and to save future generations from harm. I’ve had the pleasure of traveling to many different parts of the world, including some of the most impoverished areas, and the effects of climate change often start with those who are least able to fight back. I trekked across parts of Nepal, an absolutely beautiful part of the world that is suffering from debris and lack of clean water. When I look at the debris, all I see is packaging from the industrialized world in a place where they focus on simple needs and farming to sustain their lives and bring happiness to their families. I think a movement in this area would bring improved quality of life to many around the world and also improve the quality of life for generations to come.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them ?
I would be so honored to spend time with Oprah Winfrey, to learn from her experience and to share my passion for touching lives in a positive way. Oprah has often talked about having a calling or purpose in life, and that it’s important for each of us to be aware and awakened to our calling. Many friends have pointed out to me how this latest venture with Side by Side, and the thoughtful way in which we’re changing lives in a positive way, is a culmination of my professional career up to this point. The path I’ve taken in food, healthcare, manufacturing, brands, mission and entrepreneurship all came together when I adopted my puppy, Wrigley. Bringing him into my life highlighted the deficiencies in the Pet Food sector. I was moved to do what’s right by these wonderful companions, and Side by Side was born.
Thank you so much for all of these great insights!
Women Of The C-Suite: “Be willing to define and redefine success for yourself” With Allison Braun & Fotis Georgiadis
Be willing to define and redefine success for yourself. Growing up I was somewhat of a chameleon. I learned quickly to adapt to my surroundings and molded my personality around who I was with. As I got older, this made it very easy for me to soak up other people’s definitions of success as my own. Whenever I felt stressed or unsatisfied, it was, at least in part, because I needed to connect back to MY definition of what success would look and feel like in that situation (and redefine it if necessary). Doing this consistently over the years has allowed me to feel a lot more fulfillment along this journey of growth.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Allison Braun. Allison known as the Queen of Ease, uses her 10+ years of experience in communication, relationships, personal development, and business to help successful women business owners around the world tap into deeper levels of business prosperity and life fulfillment with more ease & joy, without sacrificing what’s most important to them. Through The Business Pleasure Map™, Clarity To Clients™, and the Living Richly™ framework, Allison takes financially successful women business owners from stressed out, lonely, and out of alignment to empowered, connected, and passionate powerhouses. When she’s not helping her gifted clients shed the overwhelm that’s been capping their success and fulfillment, you’ll find her splashing in water, drinking espresso & writing, or making potions with crystals and essential oils.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Living Richly was born out of a culmination of many moments and experiences from:
– backpacking around the world at 18, waking up in an open air house in the jungle with the view of lush greenery, sunbeams and tea steaming at the foot of my bed
– to snorting with laughter with a group of women from around the world after facilitating life changing activations
– to waking up with my husband’s arm around my waist and my puppy coming to snuggle between us
– to painting with my 2 year old niece.
There were so many pieces that created this special career path and it’s evolved over time.
Things really clicked into place when I was at a business event with a group of entrepreneurs, and I realized that despite absolute brilliance and huge business success, so many people around me were dissatisfied and unfulfilled – missing out on so much of the richness of life, despite having reached some of their biggest business goals.
I looked back at my life and realized I have a gift for:
– helping women who are success driven and stuck, striving for more
– unlocking the full potential within these women to create the life of their dreams and live richly—a deeply fulfilling, satisfying life where the journey is savoured and enjoyed as much as possible, even in the challenging moments (IF they are willing to choose it).
I knew then that Living Richly™ was begging to come to life, which has been so needed in this world of hustle, busyness and striving.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
I was driving into Marrakech, after a retreat I hosted for my Living Richly Mastermind, with the owner of our private villa. He was saying that years ago, he was so confused because he couldn’t figure out why he was guided to take all these different studies in completely different areas.
We laughed because now looking back, he can see how each of those studies and career paths led him to this moment where he’s running 3 huge businesses throughout Morocco where he gets to use all these skills and passions, but where he wouldn’t be able to do what he’s doing without all of them either.
I think the most interesting thing is looking back to see how all the experiences I’ve had in my career have all led up to the creation of Living Richly. Each piece of the puzzle didn’t feel complete on its own. Whether it was getting my degree in Holistic Health, practicing energy work, ending up with a very successful Sexual Expression & relationship coaching business, to focusing on business mentorship, it was the culmination of those experiences that made me the powerful leader for this company and cause.
For the last several years I’ve been blessed to integrate all of my passions (that didn’t seem quite right on their own) and skills into the powerful work I’m now able to do with these brilliant business women.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Without fail, whenever I’ve claimed an area of expertise in my business, I’m “blessed” with a challenge in that area that I’ve never experienced before. This challenge is usually big enough that it causes me to question everything ::insert imposter syndrome worry face here::. Keep in mind this is typically after really mastering & rocking that area of expertise for YEARS.
Every single time, I realize this is an opportunity to deepen the practices that I teach and have a greater understanding and empathy for what my clients are and will be experiencing. As soon as I realize that, the feeling of “challenge” disappears, and sweet curiosity and fast growth happens.
The funniest mistake I made when I was first claiming Living Richly was FORGETTING this pattern I experience Every. Single. Time!
It actually took me a few months of tumbling in the doubts and challenges—things that made everything in my life feel so uncertain, when my whole life, I’ve felt so grounded. After a lifetime of feeling SO rich, I questioned my ability to survive.
In the moment it didn’t feel very funny, but it makes me giggle to myself now because it’s SO clear what was happening—I was preparing myself, once again, to have that empathy and understanding for people who truly don’t feel rich right now and who question if living a rich life is even possible for them.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
In a world that still celebrates white knuckling it and sacrifice, we are a company that views AND models success differently. We’ve been on the leading edge of showing woman/humans how to live and work in a way that honours and supports them in experiencing their greatest desires while being all of themselves, fully expressed, without the old belief systems that say they aren’t worthy of success unless they sacrifice something else important (themselves, their values, their relationships, their happiness, creative expression…).
We don’t just preach Living Richly, we live and breathe it – expression, enjoyment, growth, connection (to self, Source and others).
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Currently we are offering a new experience focused solely on RICH Expression & Visibility. It’s geared towards supporting women that have a history of receiving the message that they need to be seen & not heard, please others, not ruffle feathers and not take up too much space.
Together, in this nurturing container, they are finding what their next iteration of unique, RICH Expression looks and feels like, as well as how to share it visibly with their community and the world to create change (and ultimately so they can feel free and fulfilled within themselves!).
We believe that sacrificing your expression and joy are actually the demise of your success, and by cultivating that rich, self expression and feeling more enjoyment in that process, you become even MORE successful.
Plus, it gives everyone around you the permission to be free, fulfilled and successful too.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Do your best to consistently model and embody the values you and your company stand for. Then, even if your team’s personal core values don’t match yours, you’re setting the example of integrity and leadership.
Take care of yourself, and encourage and support your team in taking good care of themselves too! To run a healthy, thriving team, you need healthy, thriving people.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Full disclosure—I don’t run a large team, nor do I desire too. I love simplicity and efficiency, and with my company and vision, a large team is not necessary. That being said, something powerful that I’ve learned from Adrienne Dorison, is giving ownership over delegation. In order to take things off your plate and run things as efficiently as possible, your core team members really need to have ownership of their area of expertise and responsibility. From that foundation, you teach those core team members to lead and delegate in the same way with the team members they manage.
Look at where you may be asking others to do things, giving them jobs, but where you (or other leaders on your team) are still holding onto the heavy weight of being in charge of it.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I’ve received invaluable support all along my journey, without which, I’m not sure where I’d be. There’s one person in particular though who I feel really opened the doors to the reality I wanted to be living.
She came into my life when I was surrounded by wonderful people, but who had so many limitations to how much richness they would allow into their lives. I was begging for permission to experience more, to charge more, travel more, own my gifts more, to maintain an amazing partnership through it all—to live and work on my own terms.
Kris Ward was that woman for me. She was the first coach I ever hired and she gave me all the permission slips and guidance I needed to go all in, to experience everything I desired. That relationship and the lessons I learned through it set me up for success by my own definition and doing it my way, and for that I’ll forever be grateful.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
So many of the women I support have grown up with a bad taste in their mouth about success and people who are successful, because of what the media, their families, their communities, etc. told them about what it means to be successful.
This led to subconsciously avoiding success, because there’s a fear that success would make them a bad person or that other people would perceive them to be a bad person if they were successful. When women who CARE and genuinely want to contribute to the world being a better, safer, happier, healthier place experience success, the more nourished they can be in the process of doing their big work in the world.
I hope that by modeling self care, self expression, contribution and authentic success, that I’m empowering more women to know they can do the same. A huge part of the work I do with clients is to support them in being even more financially prosperous so they can spend and give their money to other businesses and causes they believe in, because bringing goodness to the world is a core value of my business.
I love contributing to women’s education and the future of their businesses through donating scholarships to programs and gifting a portion of our proceeds to The Adventure Project, Because I’m A Girl, and local bursary programs.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Be willing to define and redefine success for yourself.
Growing up I was somewhat of a chameleon. I learned quickly to adapt to my surroundings and molded my personality around who I was with. As I got older, this made it very easy for me to soak up other people’s definitions of success as my own. Whenever I felt stressed or unsatisfied, it was, at least in part, because I needed to connect back to MY definition of what success would look and feel like in that situation (and redefine it if necessary). Doing this consistently over the years has allowed me to feel a lot more fulfillment along this journey of growth.
2. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being fulfilled.
This lesson keeps coming back in new layers, thank goodness. I was talking with a wonderful woman yesterday, and a new layer struck — I recognized there was still a bit of fear that if I really owned and shared my success that others would project that I’m perfect. Of course I’m not, which means there’s a huge opportunity for judgement and disappointment from others.
Then she said something that simultaneously blew my mind and landed so sweetly in my heart — I’m not about being perfect, and I’ll never claim to be perfect, BUT I am about fulfillment and THAT I can own for myself and my ability to support others with, without a shadow of a doubt. This also shows another lesson that’s been profound for me — speaking fears out loud. When I do, it allows them to dissipate, hold less power and for solutions to arise.
3. Enjoy the journey as much as possible.
Enjoyment is one of my core values. In a society that says you can’t enjoy your accomplishments until you reach the BIG goal, I really struggled. It was nearly impossible to reach any goal without enjoying the journey.
During a launch of one of my signature programs, Clarity To Clients™, and in attempts to have this be the most “successful” launch yet, I forgot my enjoyment value.
So there I was, working for this superficial success (that I had not defined for myself) and sacrificing enjoyment along the way. Although the results were slightly better than I’d had in the past, they weren’t even close to my goal, and more importantly it FELT like the worst launch I’d ever had because I was stressed the whole time and didn’t enjoy a bit of it.
If you define success only by reaching the goal, then you’re ignoring the greatest reason you set the goal in the first place — to feel good in the achieving of it.
If you want to relish success, enjoying the journey is a non-negotiable.
Ultimately, all we have is this journey, so if you aren’t enjoying it, what’s the point?
4. Self expression is the key to true freedom.
Have you ever had that feeling of wanting to say something but it was trapped in your throat? Or feeling inspired to dance to an amazing song, but the thought that you shouldn’t bust a move in the middle of the grocery store kept those twists and shouts trapped inside of you? I have.
I held my thoughts in so many times that I started to question what I had to say, and if my thoughts were even valid. At that point in my life, all I wanted was to feel free. I thought the answer was to travel — to be free of someone else’s rules and schedule.
While those were pieces, the most impactful part of my journey to feeling free was giving myself permission to express my thoughts, my voice, my movement, how I dressed — letting the things that were important to me out instead of keeping them trapped within me.
If you’re feeling trapped or tight, chances are there’s something that wants to be said or moved through you.
5. Trust your inner guidance and the way you feel called to do things.
Aligned action leads to exponential results. A couple years ago, I was opening enrollment for what’s now known as my Living Richly Mastermind. I knew I wanted to enjoy the process, I knew I had big goals, and I knew that it had to be done differently than the standard launch process — but I didn’t know what the process was going to look like. So I sat and I listened.
I received unconventional guidance that I could have easily ignored or dismissed, and instead I trusted it. I was being asked to take bold and edgy actions by most of society’s perception, but for me they were natural, easy, and enjoyable.
Because I was willing to slow down enough to listen, I was able to receive my own unique guidance on how to move forward, and take fast action. I ended up making $225,000 in the span of 2 weeks with more ease than I’d ever experienced before… all while doing the work that I MOST loved, with women who were total Soulmate Clients.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
My mission is for Living Richly™ to be a movement — for people all around the world to define what Living Richly™ looks and feels like for them, without holding back their greatest desires, and then to start living it. Living Richly™ is about knowing that you are worthy, that you are enough, so you can start experiencing your desires NOW, not when you’ve reached some artificial goal post. You don’t have to sacrifice love for success or success for love, or passion for financial nourishment, or anything else. You don’t need to give up one thing that’s important to you to have another important thing.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Pleasure is productive.” I was shamed for years for working the way I do — with pleasure, enjoyment and flow at the forefront. The rumors going around (especially in the business world) were that pleasure was indulgent, lazy, hedonistic. You have to work HARD to get where you want to go.
The truth is, overworking is not efficient and it’s not sustainable. True pleasure IS productive. It leads to million dollar ideas, inspired flow, courageous action, and healthy self care that allows you to be the best in your industry and receive results for the rest of your life.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Hands down, Suzy Batiz, the founder of Poo Pourri. From what I know about her and her company, she’s got a blend of humour, soul, and business brilliance that really gets me going. I have so many things I’d love to have a conversation with her about. Plus, as someone with a digestive care background, anyone I can joke about poo with tends to be an instant friend.
Women Of The C-Suite: “Get out of the office; Don’t just sit at your desk” with Lauren Levy & Fotis Georgiadis
Get out of the office. Don’t just sit at your desk. We travel to many different new mom events around the country. We listen to what moms want in terms of fabrics and designs so that we are offering them the very best.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lauren Levy. Lauren is the co-founder of Magnetic Me, the magnetic-fastening layette company that sells to major retailers such as Nordstrom, Buy Buy Baby, Amazon, Von Mauer and over 3,000 local boutiques. After struggling to put a Velcro bib on her nephew and then seeing him cry from the Velcro ripping out his fine baby hair, Lauren thought, “why not a magnet which would be more gentle and fasten itself?” Two years later in 2010, after vigorous research and development, Magnetic Me came to market with a full line of infant’s wear to critical acclaim. Lauren lives outside of NYC with her husband and 3 children.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
After struggling to put a Velcro bib on my nephew and then seeing him cry from the Velcro ripping out his fine baby hair, I thought, “why not a magnet which would be more gentle and fasten itself?” I left the corporate world with my college friend Lawrence on a mission to make parents’ lives easier. Two years later in 2010, after vigorous research and development, Magnetic Me came to market with a full line of infant’s wear to critical acclaim.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
We have been so fortunate that celebrities love not only the functionality of our designs but also the prints. They post the most adorable photos of their babies wearing our products! Bravo’s Andy Cohen just shared a photo of his new baby son wearing our hotdog print, and Behati Prinsloo posted a photo of her and Adam Levine’s daughter on Christmas Day in our Aspen print. Hilary Duff, Carrie Underwood and Anna Kournikova are also fans of the brand.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When we launched, my partner Lawrence and I both were single with no children. We brought our analytical backgrounds to our company and researched and tested so thoroughly and completely on so many of our friends’ kids (and strangers too!). The biggest gratification came when I had my son and realized I wouldn’t change a single thing about how our clothing works or fits. Getting to use my own creations on my own children is like opening a gift every single day because I see all my hard work in action. At 2 am when I am on double diaper duty with one eye open, I am proud that our gowns and footies can close themselves so that I can go back to bed! It’s a double assist! I am so proud of our line and that we are able to help so many parents, too!
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Other than the distinct feature our company was founded upon — the magnetic-fasteners — Magnetic Me is smart, soft and stylish. We take the essentials of a baby wardrobe and make them better with the softest, most luxe fabrics paired with whimsical and stylish designs and prints. Our signature magnetic closures make changing a baby, day or night, a breeze.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
We just launched “An Heir is Born” collection to honor the arrival of Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex first royal baby. The newly launched collection pays homage to the future royal’s American and British heritages with whimsical designs. Available at Nordstrom.com or MagneticMe.com, the collection includes a gown, footie, bib, lovey and blanket so that parents on both sides of the pond can commemorate the occasion of their heir being born.
We created our first sold out royal baby collection for the birth of Prince George in 2013. I am a huge fan of the Royal Family and had the idea for the collections while visiting the UK during the year of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. I loved that I could buy a souvenir to take home with me to commemorate the event. I was pregnant with my first child around the same time Kate was pregnant with George and I thought how cool it would be to have something to commemorate the birth of the first royal baby as well as the birth of my first. When we released the collection, we called it “An Heir is Born” to celebrate everyone’s little heir. We honestly didn’t think that anything could come close to as big of a worldwide royal phenomenon as Prince George until Prince Harry married an American. We knew from Day 1 that when the time came, we had to roll out a special “An Heir is Born” collection again, but this time include the baby’s American heritage.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Communication, patience, and apps! Apps are great and definitely make your workday more efficient. These are a few of my favorites:
Xero — This app has a much better user experience than Quickbooks and it allows you to track your company’s finances from anywhere.
Adobe Fill & Sign — This app has been lifechanging for me. Not only does this let me scan important contracts from my phone but I can also sign and send. I love that this app turns photos into PDFs.
Paypal and Venmo — These are a must-have. They help get the money in faster and allow me to pay vendors with ease, as well.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I’m grateful for my partner Larry, in taking a leap of faith with me to create this award-winning company and watch it grow for almost 10 years now. My mom was also a huge supporter of me in launching the business and I’m grateful to her as well.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Our infant clothing makes parents’ lives easier due to the sew-safe magnetic closures that close quickly and easily so parents can spend less time fussing with diaper changes and more time cuddling their little ones. Our clothes are also safer for babies and made with high-quality fabrics that don’t irritate baby’s skin.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. You can never have enough mentors.
I have been fortunate to have many over the course of my career. I have met some wonderful mentors.
2. Find a work/life balance.
I love lazy Sundays with my family where we choose our own adventure. These days to unwind are so important.
3. Be authentic.
People know when you are not being real.
4. Get out of the office. Don’t just sit at your desk.
We travel to many different new mom events around the country. We listen to what moms want in terms of fabrics and designs so that we are offering them the very best.
5. Never stop improving.
We’ve introduced a magical, silky-soft fabric that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer called Modal to our lines. It’s certified as 100% BioBased by the US Department of Agriculture, and is responsibly farmed from Beechwood trees and manufactured in an environmentally friendly way.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Our mission is to make parents’ lives easier. Our magnetic-fastening clothing helps parents and we wanted everything our brand stands for to further this mission. Everything from our tags and labels to how we laid out our website are geared towards making it super easy to help new parents during this sleep-deprived, wild. Moms today are the most socially forward and most cognizant about the importance of raising good and decent humans. I’m glad I get to help them and parent alongside them in this day and age.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it but by working for it,” Estee Lauder
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I would love to meet with Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, and be a part of her new mom journey. She is a phenomenon in her own right. She’s smart, fashionable, and an incredible role model.
Women Of The C-Suite: “Always, always be transparent about your expectations” with Michelle Tipton and Fotis Georgiadis
Always, always be clear and transparent about your expectations. Be present, listen and be open to everyone’s ideas; don’t confuse leadership with dictatorship. Hire people with diverse competencies that complement and complete yours. Coach up and delegate so that you are planning your current role’s successor and showing your team that their future matters to you.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Michelle Tipton. Tipton was named Vice President of Finance for PowerChord in 2019. In her role, Tipton oversees all financial-related matters for the company. Tipton has more than a decade of experience in the industry, serving as Financial Controller, Accountant, or HR Manager for the past 7 years at PowerChord prior to her promotion. She drives financial leadership through her passion and dedication to growth. Tipton directs financial strategies, analysis, forecasting, and budget management for PowerChord while also running all aspects of accounting and finance operations.As the Vice President of Finance, she must analyze financial reports with respect to profits, trends, cost, and compliance with budgets while also developing relationships with senior management, Board of Directors, and financial institutions to support global expansion. Tipton’s education includes a bachelor’s degree in accounting from the University of South Florida.
Thank you for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
My path to becoming one of the first female Vice Presidents at a tech company is not at all traditional.. But I am thankful for every opportunity, journey, and experience I have had thus far. Being the first in my family to graduate from college, that experience was the cornerstone of building my career. I had a few really great professors in Accounting early on that persuaded me to go into business. I love what I do and how I can mold my future into what I want it to look like; that makes work not feel like “work” and that’s important.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
Taking our Company from a current state to an ideal, future state — scaling up. When our Company began a new phase of growth, we experienced organizational changes, welcomed new leadership and developed new equity partnerships; we had to take initiative beyond the confines of what our previous roles meant, address our weaknesses head-on, and learn to grow in a new way that still kept true to our values, culture and mission. We had to refine processes without making it difficult to get things done. I was stretched outside my comfort zone on many occasions, but I had to leave self-doubt at the door if I wanted to get results that would drive our continued success. We took what we were doing well, and made it better. Our accounting and corporate structure changed, we increased reporting and transparency, and we expanded our leadership team. The most enjoyable thing has been seeing all the changes and recognizing how an individual, a team, and our Company responds and rises to the challenges.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
The words just do it the “quick and easy” way stick with me, because years ago I didn’t know the quick and easy way. Things took me longer, I needed to understand before moving on, I didn’t have the ability to see the big picture and at times that meant extra reading, additional problem solving, and many late nights before I found my “quick and easy”. I laugh at it now because I’m more comfortable in what I don’t know, what I’ve learned along the way and what awaits in the horizon has now become exciting because I know with time, I can achieve it.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Our commitment to people. At PowerChord we foster an environment that trusts people to do their absolute best. I think it’s driven from accountability in leadership, seeing our management in the present, and recognizing and respecting that people have family and personal commitments, and that those are important. When you show as an employer that you operate a trusting, respectful work environment, your employees will give you in return loyalty, passion and enthusiasm.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I’ve had amazing opportunities to build and then transform our Accounting and Finance department. Even though we are a smaller team, we strive to be best in class. We are excited to expand technologies to continue our transformation.
We are driving the implementation of an enterprise level sales and business management platform system to be utilized across the organization. This initiative further supports our Company’s mission of building and maintaining strong customer relationships. Our employees will also benefit from enhanced transparency and quicker decision making. My team is excited and up for the use of smarter, expanded technologies. They’ll get to contribute to the Company in ways they haven’t been able to before, allowing everyone to grow and move up and become higher quality contributors.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Always, always be clear and transparent about your expectations. Be present, listen and be open to everyone’s ideas; don’t confuse leadership with dictatorship. Hire people with diverse competencies that complement and complete yours. Coach up and delegate so that you are planning your current role’s successor and showing your team that their future matters to you.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
As we expanded we moved team projects into project management software. At all times we can see what each other are working on, where the data is if someone is out and what is up next for completion. This also has given us insight on where we can pick up speed, move projects around or identify bottlenecks that we need to work on.
We also hold annual strategy sessions where everyone participates in what our department is committing to for the upcoming year by quarter. We relate these goals to the Company’s objectives and this demonstrates how every role is important to the Company’s success.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
First, my family. They showed tremendous support very early on and I’m thankful.
My start at PowerChord was championed by Cindy Gage. She was my first interview with the Company and saw in me what passion and dedication I could bring. Over the years she kept in touch and always showed interest and encouragement.
When I got into my career and was really green, Lori Hornby was a go-to on technical aspects. She was a sounding board and a sanity check, and then she became a champion of mine. She understood where I was at, and what I needed to hear to keep motivated and build self-confidence.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Giving back where and how I can, and making sure this remains and evolves as my opportunity to do so expands. I was able to bring the Angel Giving Tree to PowerChord in 2014, and we’ve participated in the holiday giving event every year since. It’s become a big deal in my house too. Our entire family and grandparents get involved, and I use it to teach the power of giving to my daughters. I’ve been on the other side, and I know how much relief a hand up can provide and show a path forward. I’m excited about the upcoming opportunities with PowerChord’s engagement with charities as the Humane Society of Pinellas and the Boys and Girls Clubs of Suncoast.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Hire talented people and build a great team. Each person has a level of contribution. Recognize their strengths, their weaknesses, and help them grow. Setbacks happen, for many reasons, including yourself. Move on quickly while learning what went wrong and why. You will never become your future self without a balanced approach to this.
Plan and evaluate your team’s current and future needs and yours. Don’t wait for commitments to slide by before taking action.
Leadership is more than just your direct reports. Have meaningful conversations with everyone in your Company. It’s insightful and can lead to unplanned opportunities and partnerships.
You are ultimately responsible for your team’s work product, don’t lose touch, be willing to roll up your sleeves when needed. If your team is making mistakes, ask yourself if the right guidance, direction, and parameters were in place to allow for their success and let that determine your response.
Communication is the foundation of trust. Don’t hold back truth but know your audience; be conscious of and practice emotional intelligence.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I believe in making higher education more affordable, if not free, and reaching out to those most unlikely to participate. Education is what changed my life. I’m lucky enough or went into a field, that has allowed me to afford the cost.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I’ve always lived by “If you don’t like it, change it!”.This quote enabled me to invest in my own educational development, my career, and find happiness in my personal life. Always asking myself, what can I do better and what can I make better.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Meredith Kopit Levien, I admire the openness she expresses about her defeats, achievements and how to win at work while winning at home. On how she got to where she is, “I outworked everyone around me for a very long time.’’ The more effort you put in, the closer you will be in reaching your goals.
Women Of The C-Suite: “Personal behaviors drive our personal outcomes” with Stephynie Malik and Fotis Georgiadis
I have always believed that your personal behaviors drive your personal outcomes. In addition to focusing on the behaviors we just discussed, I would say that one-on-one time with each member of your talent is invaluable. Always be prepared and always have a set agenda for these sessions to maximize their effectiveness. Focusing on the purpose and clearly communicating why it’s the focus is how you get on the same page with your team, individually and collectively. Arrogance, ego, and relying solely on the authority derived from your position may serve a purpose to some but it’s incredibly destructive when it comes building your brand as a leader. One area we have had amazing success in is creating an assessment about YOU and make it anonymous. We build it and have another company perform it. This begins a foundation of truth for your entire team. You can then summarize the feedback assessments and begin to make changes in your leadership style while addressing concerns your team may have in the next offsite or team meeting. They will feel heard and validated, most importantly, they will feel safe. YOU created that environment and trust will ensue. A culture based on the shared values of trust, mutual respect, and continuous improvement will truly make your team indestructible.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stephynie Malik. In Stephynie’s 25+ year career, she has gone from one of the youngest Directors in the Silicon Valley, to an award-winning CEO of her own software consulting firm, to Executive and Transformational Coach. In her years of experience she has developed proven methodologies and success strategies, been involved in 11 startups worldwide and spearheaded multi-million dollar acquisitions. Her results-driven approach has helped executives and entrepreneurs alike achieve new levels of growth and connection in not only their business, but also their lives. Stephynie is also a member of the Forbes Coaches Council and focuses on sharing her expertise with others looking to gain insight into the world of business.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Thank you so much for asking me! The move from “Consultant to Coach” was simply a natural step within my professional evolution. I left the corporate world to start MalikCo in 2002 because I was confident I had the business skills and acumen to excel. I knew that a true customer centric approach in the consulting industry was sorely needed at that time. I am also passionate about helping high performers excel, to help them see and become the most amazing version of themselves. This attitude is in response to the turbulence I encountered in my childhood and validated by the actions of those who helped, coached, encouraged, or mentored me along the way. My 17 years of experience as Founder and CEO of MalikCo give me the leadership and operational experience that my clients demand, and people skills needed to help them change their personal and professional behaviors to achieve better results that were actually measurable. It’s what the they expect and what I deliver.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
Ha, I’m not sure how interesting it is, but it is surely a topic of discussion in so many of my initial entrepreneur sessions. My exit plan was a simple one, leave MalikCo as CEO, remain as Chairman and show up and serve my relationships that I had established and fostered through MalikCo to start SMAIK Enterprises. My intent was to leverage the built-in engagements and a ready and willing clientele base I had worked so hard to establish, grow and nurture to start my new services company. Then one day I received a non-compete that changed everything. They say disruption can be a marvelous thing and I can say from experience it makes you think more, hustle more, and learn more in a relatively short period of time. The jury is still out on it being a marvelous thing but it’s undoubtedly a challenging call to action that tests your knowledge, stamina, skills as well as your ability to pivot gracefully.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I have learned that the best business and personal solutions are a result of always doing the right thing, for the right reasons and always doing it the right way. Doing the right thing is developing an approach or strategy to solution a problem. Doing it the right way is all about execution. My ability to create a customized solution is all about leveraging my expertise. Knowledge + Experience = Expertise and it’s a huge differentiator. I love the Brian Tracy quote “Every experience in your life is orchestrated to teach you something you need to know to move forward”. I have worked and led at all levels, in many countries, companies, and in many industries. I’m not a PhD or a PsyD. Everything in my toolbox is based on real life, in depth, and vast experience. I have carried a bag, cold called, had quotas to meet, managed frontline and global teams, and had deals go badly. I have “been there and done that” in several places, in many industries, and have partnered with people and companies maximize their personal and professional results. I agree 1000 percent with Mr. Tracy’s observation.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
We are, thank you for asking. My team and I have been working on several online courses that will begin a step series for different aspects of leadership. The barriers people face in continuing their personal and professional education are many and we are eliminating some of them as we design and grow our development portfolio. We are working on these specific online courses for millennials and mid-level leaders who want more in their lives and careers but may lack the flexibility in their schedules and budgets to attend a training class or coaching session.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
One of the most significant challenges facing companies today is employee disengagement and the costs in terms of financial resources and brand reputation are incalculable! You wouldn’t believe how many of my meetings with Executives start out with almost a plea for help in this category. My advice is always to build and sustain a team culture based on trust, mutual respect, and continuous improvement. Credibility is every leader’s greatest capital and people judge you on what you do not what you say. Build personal partnerships with each team member. Listen fiercely and empathetically. Seek feedback aggressively and don’t limit it to gathering information on your own performance. I have heard it said that the four most important words in any organization are “What Do You Think” and your team members can be an invaluable resource in developing strategy and solutions as those four words can be the most impactful question you can ask. It’s the littlest things that make the biggest difference when it comes to engaging the minds and winning the hearts of your team. Remember, it’s not always what you ask, but truly how you ask it.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
I have always believed that your personal behaviors drive your personal outcomes. In addition to focusing on the behaviors we just discussed, I would say that one-on-one time with each member of your talent is invaluable. Always be prepared and always have a set agenda for these sessions to maximize their effectiveness. Focusing on the purpose and clearly communicating why it’s the focus is how you get on the same page with your team, individually and collectively. Arrogance, ego, and relying solely on the authority derived from your position may serve a purpose to some but it’s incredibly destructive when it comes building your brand as a leader. One area we have had amazing success in is creating an assessment about YOU and make it anonymous. We build it and have another company perform it. This begins a foundation of truth for your entire team. You can then summarize the feedback assessments and begin to make changes in your leadership style while addressing concerns your team may have in the next offsite or team meeting. They will feel heard and validated, most importantly, they will feel safe. YOU created that environment and trust will ensue. A culture based on the shared values of trust, mutual respect, and continuous improvement will truly make your team indestructible.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
My daughter. I was a baby, who had a baby. I was 22 when I had her and divorced at 23. I had no idea what this little person held for me in my future. She tells me now that she is 24 that I shaped her and gave her so many gifts. She has no idea that SHE was my teacher, my mentor and leader. She taught me unconditional love, preparation, kindness, giving without expectations of receiving anything back. She taught me to prioritize, to not sweat the small stuff, to slow down and smell the roses and she taught me how to laugh… Like really belly laugh. One of the hardest lessons she taught me was, not all bad days were solved with compassion, understanding and ice cream, and that I should really add more tools to my tool box. SHE was the leader, with patience and calm. She instilled my stillness and ability to pivot calmly and gracefully. She is the pillar and the foundation of my faith and humility.
Is there a quote that is meaningful to you, that you can share?
Quotes are a marvelous tool that can be used to illustrate a point, inspire personal change, or to understand and validate past experiences. “Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” Marvin Ashton’s words capture perfectly my personal mission and passion for helping people learn, grow, achieve, and excel. My success has increased my capacity and given me more resources to deploy that passion and make a difference in the lives of children, in education, and helping those who struggle with mental health issues. Service to others, to use the words of Marie Kondo, “sparks joy” in me and gives me purpose. I am sure that you are familiar with the concept of servant leadership and I often take the service part of that approach literally. If there are dishes in the office that need to be done, I do them. If I have team members working on a huge project or deal and haven’t had a chance to wash their car, I’ll do it for them. It’s the littlest things that make the biggest difference. It only takes a few seconds and a few words to make a person feel better about themselves.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Always be the last to speak in a room — Connect, empathize, and listen for the sole purpose understanding not responding. Listening is an intransitive verb and one of its meanings is to “hear something with thoughtful understanding: give consideration”. This is a great tactic for building trust and mutual respect.
Always use the same definition/dictionary, especially with absolute statements — “Never, always, more than”. This creates safety and you can always count on the comfort of understanding your client or team.
I recently read Daniel Coyle’s exceptional book “The Culture Code”. One the key elements of building a great team culture is creating a safe environment that eliminates fear and where people are comfortable, feel free to be creative and expressing their ideas and feel valued. Culture is leader driven and communication is key. It’s the little things that matter most.
Start every single day with gratitude. In its simplest terms, gratitude is about being thankful and acknowledging the good we experience. It’s also about recognizing the good we experience is often derived from sources outside of ourselves. Any person can be the good that others are grateful for. It’s not about what can you do for me? It’s more about what can we do for each other.
Relationships are not just key, they are EVERYTHING. Treat them well, ALWAYS add more then you take.
Pretty simple conceptually however execution is everything. Each one is unique and must be grown and nurtured accordingly.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Children were being left behind decades before the “No Child Left Behind” Act was implemented in 2001. Education in general and schools in particular as a means to deliver it need to be completely “re-imagined” to meet the socio-economic realities of the today’s workplace. I would encourage everyone to visit a school and spend 15 minutes talking to a teacher or school level administrator and you will learn about the real challenges’ educators face. Billions get spent on education and virtually zero dollars make to each school’s instructional budget. The fact that most schools are used as daycare or feeding centers in each communities’ social services network speaks volumes about impact that single or two working parents can have on their children’s education. Parents want to be partners in their children’s education but lack the basic resources of knowledge and time to do so. The list continues. The good news, however, is that new approaches and strategies are being developed and deployed to improve the education system. Organizations like the Kahn Academy and Acton Academy are pioneering new ways to identify and close skill gaps, tailor customized learning solutions for their students, or change curriculums and delivery methods to focus on critical thinking and analytical skills. I would love to be a leader in this much needed revolution.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
The source of these words is often debated so it is more concept than quote. It is found in the belief that “we are all broken, that is how the light shines through”. My childhood broke me on so many levels. My mother was mentally ill, my father died tragically in a boating accident, I was homeless as a teenager, had issues in high school, had to drop out of college, lost friends to cancer and dealt with many other things. I always knew, however, that as difficult as those days were that many others were dealing with situations much worse than mine. Our cracks don’t define us. They teach us. In Japan, there is a saying that our cracks are filled with gold so that we remember where we came from, and we are worth saving. This belief has shaped my perspective on life and drives my behaviors daily. It is a blessing and lesson I am very grateful to have learned.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Wait, what? Tony Robbins. 10,000%! To me, he optimizes Marvin Ashton’s words ““Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” We have commonality in our childhood challenges and our passion to help and serve others. His perspective on truth and ability to deliver powerful unpopular messages is a divine talent. I don’t have a bucket list but if I did, having the opportunity to meet and learn from THE Tony Robbins would be the one and only item on it. #dreamcometrue
Women of the C-Suite: “Listening skills are the best skills a leader can have” with Laurie Powell and Fotis Georgiadis
You have two ears and one mouth — Use them in the same portion or as Burr says in the Broadway show, Hamilton “talk less, smile more.” Listening skills are the best skills a leader can have. By listening to my clients over 30+ years, I have been able to bring in hundreds of thousands of incremental dollars…too many examples to give.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Laurie Powell, Vice President of Business Development at Miller Freeman. Laurie has over 30 years of sales and management experience in both events and publishing. Laurie started her career at Miller Freeman, which at the time, was the largest business-to-business publisher and trade show producer in the world. At Miller Freeman, Laurie was Publisher for various trade magazines and the Director of Sales for its events. In 2001, Laurie joined Access Intelligence, another publisher and trade show producer, where she served as a Group Publisher of several magazines, websites and events. In 2010, she joined eventPower as Vice President of Business Development where she handles over 50 clients per year that have exhibit and sponsorship components. Laurie manages a sales team and customer support managers. Her team has managed clients with exhibit halls as large as 1,000 booths, 740 exhibiting companies and hundreds of sponsorships.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I started my career in Business to Business publishing and trade shows in 1987. I worked for Miller Freeman, which at the time was the largest b2b publisher of magazines and trade shows in the world. I started as an account executive and then moved up to be the first woman publisher of the commercial real estate magazine group, Commercial Property News. It was the 2nd largest property at Miller Freeman. I worked there for 13 years. After that, I followed the former CEO of Miller Freeman to Access Intelligence. I worked there for 8 years. I met my husband on vacation while working at Access Intelligence. It turns out he owned a company that produced conferences and events for the government and military. Being that there is a parallel with b2b magazines and b2b conferences it only made sense that eventually I would work for him. Fast forward 2 years, we got married and I was brought on to lead Business Development. Since then the company has evolved and now not only do we still produce conferences, we also offer software as a service for meeting planners.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
When I started with eventPower we were exclusively third-party meeting planners for the government and military. In 2010, events in the government and military took a huge hit. There were travel restrictions which hurt conferences due to the fact that attendees could not travel. There was sequestration and a story aired on CNN about how one government meeting spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a boondoggle. This perfect storm affected our event business with the government/military and it declined by 85%. We went from 25 events to 5 events in about 5 months. We knew we had to act fast and come up with a new value proposition to stay in business. We had already started creating meeting planning technology for our existing clients and thought…why can’t we market it to other meeting planners who needed technology to create efficiencies. Within 2 months, we rebranded to eventPower (formally Technology Forums) and signed up to exhibit at a meeting planning conference (Meeting Planners International — WEC). By doing so, it saved the company and we evolved from being a meeting planning company to a technology company that offers solutions for meeting planners.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I am not sure this is a funny story but it certainly is a true story — when I accepted the job with Access Intelligence, the CEO hired me based on my reputation at Miller Freeman and my ability to grow revenue exponentially. He put me in charge of three publications that were declining and hoped that I could turn them around. Not only did I not turn them around, but they ended up being the least successful magazines at Access Intelligence. God bless the CEO, Don Pazour, he never held it against me and still saw something in me. To this day, he still sees me as that woman who drives revenue.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
We are the people behind the technology. Most developers of meeting planner software and technology are programmers and gear heads. We are meeting planners who by “accident” created technology for meeting planners. If it wasn’t for a bad situation with the government doing dramatic cutbacks, we would’ve never marketed our software.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
The number one initiative for this year is to revamp our exhibitor/sponsor contracting tool. In the meeting planning technology space, there are very few companies that offer this type of tool. We are hoping that by focusing on this tool and what the industry wants we’ll be able to get ahead of any potential competition.
In addition, we are always enhancing our tools. We are unlike most software companies that roll out different versions. As we add enhancements, all of our clients benefit from those enhancements and if a client asks for a customization, we rarely charge for the customization. We approach most customizations as looking to the future and figuring out how these customizations can enhance the product and bring in more clients. We truly listen to our existing customers to make our technology even better.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Honestly, I really don’t think of it as advice for other female leaders. I think it is for all leaders. You are only as good as the people who work for you. If their successful, it will bring you success. Listen to others. Just because you are a leader does not mean you have all of the solutions and all of the answers.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Listen, give your team the power, let them make mistakes and let them learn. And most importantly, make sure there is a work — life balance. You need to be happy in life to be successful and happy with work.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I started my first job at Miller Freeman at 23 years old. I was green and was learning. My first boss/mentor is a man named Adam Japko. Adam currently is the CEO of Esteem Media and has led many extremely successful companies like PennWell Corp and DigitalSherpa. Adam always believed in me. Fast forward, 30 years later, Adam found out about eventPower through a mutual friend. He has now hired our company to help him with his two conferences.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
My greatest joy are my children. My eldest son, Harrison was adopted at birth. As a result of his adoption and the joy it has brought to my husband and I, I decided to help others who are less fortunate and do not have the ability to afford adoption. I sit on the board of Gift of Adoption which does grants for people who are looking to adopt. I have taken my business development and sales skills and have helped convince others to support the organization.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
You have two ears and one mouth — Use them in the same portion or as Burr says in the Broadway show, Hamilton “talk less, smile more.” Listening skills are the best skills a leader can have. By listening to my clients over 30+ years, I have been able to bring in hundreds of thousands of incremental dollars…too many examples to give.
Be persistent — If you truly believe your company and its products really can create value to a potential prospect, don’t give up. I remember calling on a client, Stephen Roth the CEO of The Related Companies. At the time I had no idea how big he was in real estate and how much he was worth. I just knew that his company should support my product. I was so persistent that I got a meeting with him. What was unexpected was not only did he buy from me, but he also offered me a job (which I did not take).
Learn to walk away- Sometimes your product is just not the right product for your prospect. Learn to accept that. I think every good sales person and leader has too many examples to share. You should always know when to walk away.
Listen to your employees — Take the time to listen to your employees and if you see the value, go above and beyond for them. I recently made a mistake and did not listen enough. Ultimately, I lost an employee because I was afraid that if I acted on her behalf, I might hurt the feelings of another employee. Not only did I lose her, the other employee found out that I did not act or talk to her and it ended up damaging the relationship in the short term.
Give feedback — The greatest thing you can do is give feedback. Sometimes positive feedback means more to an employee than a financial bonus. Our company recently started an employee of the month award. There is a minor financial incentive (a $100-dollar gift card) but I have noticed that the employees that have won are more about the feedback and less about the financial incentive.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I truly believe that everyone matters and can make an impact. I think of climate change. So many people say “I am one person how can I make an impact?” We are stronger as a whole but each individual makes that whole. If everyone was more conscious about how their actions affect the world we live in, the world would be a better place.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“No one ever said on their deathbed I wish I worked more.” I am not sure if this is an actual quote but my Dad, at 69, said this in his hospital bed the day before he passed. He had only retired 8 months earlier. I try to remember what he said, especially when I am working morning, noon and night. In an instant, your life can change.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Michelle Obama. I just read her book. She is a person of drive, integrity and compassion. She was not handed her life path; she created it. I truly believe that so much in life IS in your control. Like Michelle, I have always taken a can-do attitude which has paid off in the long run.
Rising Through Resilience: “Be persistent and determined, but also know when to pivot” with Steve Schnall CEO and Chairman of Quontic Bank
Be persistent and determined, but also know when to pivot. Your original plan may, in fact, not have been viable, so don’t be afraid to tweak, reinvent and reposition.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Steve Schnall. Steve is a serial entrepreneur and a seasoned leader of a myriad of successful ventures across a variety of industries. He currently serves as CEO and Chairman of Quontic Bank, the adaptive digital bank, which is federally chartered and community-focused, headquartered in New York City and does business in all 50 states. Quontic’s adaptive banking approach embraces the diversity of circumstances that exists in its customers lives, while providing innovative, adaptive banking services to elevate their customers’ financial strength. Schnall also serves as CEO/owner of Realmor Capital, a real estate investment and development firm focused on emerging NYC sub-markets. Prior to launching these ventures, Schnall was founder, CEO, President and Chairman of New York Mortgage Trust, Inc., which he grew from a startup to a publicly traded (NYSE) mortgage REIT and national mortgage banking company. Schnall also co-founded Restaurant.com during the early days of the dotcom boom and grew it to nearly $100 million in annual revenue at its peak. In 2018, Steven and Patrick Sells launched Nicabis Mining, a crytomining company, which mines Ethereum with customized rigs designed and assembled from global sources. Nicabis also provides consulting services to other enterprises interested in cryptomining. Schnall is a founding director of Urban Angels, a non-profit, which nourishes the homeless and serves more than 100,000 meals per year. His other philanthropic efforts include serving as a director of The Arthur Project, a non-profit which addresses, through youth mentoring, a chronic lack of opportunity, guidance, and feelings of self-worth needed to optimize their potential during the formative middle school years. Other volunteer activities include his membership in the Young President’s Organization, World President’s Organization and the New York League of Independent Bankers. Schnall grew up in Clearwater, Florida and received a bachelor’s degree in Accounting, cum laude, from the University of Florida in 1989. He currently resides in Tribeca, Manhattan with his wife and two sons.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I was raised by a single mom in Clearwater, FL who worked hard at an entry level corporate job and struggled to provide for her two sons. From an early age, I came to realize that beyond the bare necessities that my mom could provide, I’d have to fend for myself to get ahead no matter the obstacles in front of me. I worked two jobs to pay my way through college and graduated with a degree in Accounting from the University of Florida. Wanting to break away from my hometown childhood friends who all seemed to have a general lack of ambition or direction, I decided move to NYC directly after graduation. With a borrowed car pulling a U-Haul filled with all of my possessions, I drove to NY and got a job with Price Waterhouse. Bored and barely able to stay awake at work, being a career Accountant didn’t seem like a tolerable path for me (no offense to Accountants). I quit my job after 10 months to bootstrap a startup mortgage business with some new “friends” who recruited me to join them. I was about to experience the American dream in the big apple. Life was great and full of possibilities.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
It was only after I quit my safe job to join my new partners in this startup that I was informed that I’d need to come up with my share of the startup capital. I proceeded to take maximum cash advances against all of my credit cards for this purpose (the cards that I so carefully managed to fill my budget gaps for food and other essentials). Handing over $15,000 in cash to my new partners (plus a promissory note for another $35,000), I was granted my equity stake in our new business. After one short year working tirelessly to build that new business, we were experiencing good success; so much so that my partners (my new best friends and only network in NYC) decided that one less partner equaled a larger piece of the pie for them — and so they unceremoniously threw me out, stealing my equity, my cash contribution, my share of the cash in the bank– and my dream. Given my blind trust in these dear friends, combined with a bit of naivete, my equity ownership remained undocumented and thus unprovable. I found myself broke with maxed out credit cards, student loans I couldn’t pay, and no job or source of income. I also had to face the reality that I was played and that my friends were in fact con artists who took advantage of me. At the ripe age of 24, I faced bankruptcy and no way to pay my rent or buy food — a circumstance hard to fathom, particularly for someone in the mortgage finance business who clearly understood the value of good credit. I was in a bad place.
Once I finished wallowing in my misfortune and my head cleared, I decided to start over. If I could build a viable company once in such a short time, I could do it again. I began to search for funding and soon found a generous soul who agreed to lend me $15,000 to pay some bills, buy food, and start my business over again. (I later discovered that he was a heroin dealer, but that’s a story for another chapter.) Without a budget for a lawyer, I typed up my incorporation documents and acquired the necessary state license. Within six months The New York Mortgage Company was born, and I was back in business — this time working from a tiny cramped NYC apartment in 1992 when I was 25.
Over the course of the next 12 years, my company grew. By 2004, having never raised any additional outside capital, my startup was now 1,000 employees strong, had 65 branch offices in 25 states and was funding $4 billion in home loans annually. I saw an opportunity to innovate by vertically integrating the mortgage banking operation with a new mortgage REIT (real estate investment trust) I would form. This integration of mortgage lender with leveraged investment vehicle would serve to disintermediate the many middlemen between the lender and ultimate MBS (mortgage backed security) investor and would ultimately result in higher returns on equity, thus creating a compelling investment opportunity. Armed with this strategy, I was able to take my company public. I was now in my mid 30’s and was Chairman and CEO of a NYSE listed company. Ringing the opening bell was a lifetime highlight and felt light-years from where I grew up.
There were many lessons learned along the way. The low-hanging fruits are that I needed to be more discerning in who I trusted and always document important deals in writing. Also, trust is one thing, but I behaved impetuously. That said, my most important takeaway was that in this truly dog-eat-dog world, success cannot occur without absolute determination and unfading persistence. Absent any safety net, the only way to advance was to have a truly internalized confidence and belief that success was possible if I never quit or let anything stand in my way. A good business strategy helps, but you can always tell those who possess these traits from those who don’t.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
With an eye on the state of the markets, a front row seat to the increasingly reckless lending practices industry-wide, and a simple view of the brewing housing bubble (the guy who cut my hair owned 6 houses all highly leveraged), I saw the writing on the wall. I knew early-on that this would end badly and so I made a difficult and contrarian decision to exit the market and sell the company in 2007, just ahead of the impending global credit crisis. From my vantage point, there were countless executives earning ungodly bonuses who had only upside to reap from perpetuating the unsafe conditions that have now been so well documented after the fact. For me, as the largest shareholder in this public company of my own creation, I had a vested interest in protecting myself and my shareholders, even if it was at the expense of missing some of the party or being wrong in my views of what was to come. While I thought I saved the day, the credit markets became worse than I ever fathomed and I suffered my second massive financial setback. But unlike the last one, I was largely unfazed and saw nothing but opportunity ahead.
Armed with lessons learned along the way, I identified a new opportunity in 2009 to step back into the credit markets — but this time as a bank (versus a mortgage finance company) whose goal was to fill some of the voids or underserved niches in the lending markets created in the wake of the global blow-up. I found that a small player in a massive market can succeed by carving out opportunities to serve the underbanked, the underdog, fellow entrepreneurs, immigrants, seniors and others neglected by the behemoth banks. With this philosophy now part of our DNA, my new bank, Quontic, has flourished by evolving into a truly adaptive digital bank which focuses on creating and deploying innovative mortgage and deposit products designed to empower our customers by adapting to their unique circumstances. We are one of fewer than 2% of all banks in the U.S. which is designated a CDFI (Community Development Financial Institution) by the U.S. Treasury due to our mission and success in lending to low-income consumers and in low-income neighborhoods.
For example, we have designed mortgage products which help immigrants and small business owners who lack traditional income documentation to obtain home loans when other banks refuse them. Also, given that we are a digital bank without an expensive branch network, we can pay our depositors interest rates which are amongst the highest in the nation and which are many times what the big banks pay.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I regret that I never found a mentor to guide me. As a result, much of what I’ve accomplished was via gut and trial and error. Nonetheless, I would say resoundingly that my mom, despite her lack of financial resources, instilled in me, by her example, the values and work ethic that became the cornerstone of my success. I’m sure I was one of only a few 10 year olds in our apartment complex who cooked, sewed, cleaned the apartment, hustled part-time work washing cars, selling cinnamon toothpicks and homemade slingshots in school, etc. — and, yes, also played football, rode BMX, etc.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
To me, resilience is an innate desire to run enthusiastically towards problems, to truly enjoy the art of solving those problems and overcoming obstacles, and to understand that when things may blow up, breakthroughs occur. For example, when a customer has a complaint, some employees avoid that call or procrastinate in responding to that email, while others eagerly say, “I’ve got this. I’ll handle it.” Or when there is a major setback, instead of seeing disaster, the resilient intuitively know that when they solve the problem or overcome the obstacle, they’ll usually find themselves in a better place. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve looked back on something that went disastrously wrong and actually said, “I’m glad that happened because look what we accomplished in fixing it.”
When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?
Though my father has been absent from this story, much like he was during my childhood, he epitomizes resilience, and I think I might have actually inherited that genetic trait from him. My dad was a serial entrepreneur who often had spectacular ideas, but who never achieved meaningful business or financial success. He was the king of the big idea (viable ones too) but for one reason or another he failed repeatedly. What was remarkable was that every time he came up with a new idea, he went for it so enthusiastically like he’d never failed before. He habitually swung for the bleachers, struck out, and got back up to bat without any sign of having ever been defeated. To me, that was his success — and the lesson he taught.
Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?
As a serial entrepreneur myself, my two most significant ventures were both spawned at a time when those around me told me it was a bad idea or not possible. When I set out to start my own mortgage finance business at 25, after already having been knocked down hard once, and with virtually no money, everyone said that I was undercapitalized, lacked the necessary experience and network and that I should be responsible and go back to school or get a job. I knew in my bones that I could build something great and set out to do just that. Those same naysayers were the voices I heard in my head as I was ringing the opening bell at the NYSE.
And then again in in 2009, when I set out to purchase a rescue a tiny failed bank which had only $24 million in assets (and having never even worked at a bank), I met the CEO of Valley National Bank, a $26 billion bank, who told me resoundingly that it was impossible to survive in this market and that I’d never make any money. Instead of retreating, I was more motivated than ever. I had a plan and I knew that with determination and persistence, I could build a successful bank which served segments of the market neglected by his and other banks.
Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?
As described above, I lost everything at an early age, restarted from scratch and built several successful businesses thereafter.
Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?
When I was a kid, my mom worked full time to provide for me and my brother. This left me largely unsupervised during the day. I made a lot of bad decisions as a child, skipped a lot of school, had a handful of juvenile legal scuffles and was headed in the wrong direction. My parents didn’t go to college, but my mom beat into our heads that we had to get good grades and go to college. She knew that this would open doors that weren’t open to her and there seemed to be nothing more important to her. She was relentless in delivering this message — and it stuck. Despite a handful of juvenile delinquencies, I managed to keep up my good grades and get myself into a decent college, UF, where both my bad decisions and my good grades persisted. My senior year DWI arrest was the ultimate wake-up call. Given my prior juvenile missteps, I feared that the judge might not be sympathetic. If this DWI resulted in any time in jail at all, I’d miss exams and not graduate. I was scared to death that was self-sabotaging any chance I had of building a life for myself.
A decision was made. Be deliberate in my behavior, make better and more thoughtful decisions, exploit my own competencies and be relentless in pushing myself towards my goals whatever they may be. Basically, I had to find the discipline and resilience to overcome my own bad habits and move forward despite my having no idea what the future held.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
1. Have goals. Work to understand what drives or motivates you.
2. Own and embrace your weaknesses, your circumstances and your insecurities and understand that none of this defines what is possible for you. Every human has challenges, to varying degrees, but most great successes were achieved despite challenges and long odds.
3. Internalize success and failures the same. Don’t let setbacks set your mood or impact your enthusiasm. My wife once criticized me in saying, “Nothing ever bothers you!” — like that made me unhuman. It was hard for me to explain that I EXPECT problems. I EXPECT unforeseen obstacles and I EXPECT setbacks. I know that they are part of the process, part of life and part of what I will always need to deal with to grow. I explained that it takes great resilience and discipline to push through problems without breaking down or quitting and that I am proud that I’ve built this core capability. Now, when problems arise, as they always will, dealing with them is routine for me.
4. Learn to identify the upside in bad situations. The most resilient business people and leaders, in my experience, innately handle challenges and setbacks as opportunities. Innovation occurs when there are setbacks. Problems force new processes. Key resignations create openings to find great new talent. Product defects force better quality control. Bad customer reviews force better training and culture building. Financial losses force cost control and efficiency.
5. Be persistent and determined, but also know when to pivot. Your original plan may, in fact, not have been viable, so don’t be afraid to tweak, reinvent and reposition.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I have always gone out of my way to help people whenever asked. I enjoy giving advice or providing internships or jobs to young kids who show promise; and I never hesitate to tap my network to hook young people up with opportunities. While this is nice and productive and rewarding, it doesn’t cut to the heart of the income and opportunity disparities that plague this country. The people in my network likely need the least help demographically speaking. On the other hand, it is the most underprivileged kids who are being left behind and have the least opportunity. My eyes were opened to this when I met a fascinating young woman named Liz Murray. Liz was homeless as a teenager but found her way to Harvard largely as the result of a caring mentor who guided her and helped her see her own value and recognize her own potential. I now sit on the board of the non-profit co-founded by Liz called The Arthur Project (Arthur being Liz’s former childhood mentor). The Arthur Project’s mission is to provide the most at-risk middle school students with an unprecedented type of intervention through intensive mentoring.
In short, you or I may not cure cancer, save the whales, stop global warming, cure world hunger, etc, but our kids just might! The problem is that nearly one in five American kids live in poverty and will likely never break out of their current circumstances or get a chance to be part of the solution, so to speak. My prediction is that the kids we’re mentoring in The Arthur Project will, like Liz, be the most inclined to pay it forward and help other similarly situated underprivileged kids. This can help break the cycle. So as business leaders, let’s look in the least likely places lend a hand. Let’s be more deliberate in finding opportunities to mentor, assist, employ and provide opportunities to the most at-risk young people. It will make a difference.
Don’t step into solutions too swiftly. It’s important to always listen more than you speak. Each of us will never have all the answers, and therefore it’s important to hear others out and gain all the facts before making firm decisions.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Nikki Vegenski, VP Marketing & Strategy of PowerChord. Nikki Vegenski has spent the last decade helping her client’s brand-to-local digital marketing strategies come to life. As PowerChord’s VP of Marketing and Strategy, she understands her client’s long-term vision, her firm’s ambitions, and helps to ensure both sides are in sync. She strives for success in providing thought leadership and strategic guidance across current and future customer adoptions of PowerChord’s SaaS and digital advertising solutions. She is an agent for change within the organization as it relates to product evolution, digital advertising, and cross — department leadership and employee mentorship. Nikki’s greatest strengths are her integrity, drive and leadership. She thrives on challenges, particularly those that expand both her company’s and clients’ reach. As the VP, she will continue focusing on sales growth, client retention and the formulation and nurturing of ambitious digital solutions that help her customers conquer the online ecosystem. She has been responsible for the maturity and health of PowerChord’s customer portfolio — driving more than 20% y/y growth across multi-million dollar national and international brand accounts. Nikki completed her undergraduate work at Florida State University (2006), followed by her Master of Science (M.S.) degree in Internet Marketing from Full Sail University (2015) where she earned the Advanced Achievement Course Director’s Award.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
My passion for marketing and advertising are what drove me to PowerChord. I was laid off from Valpak (first “real” job out of Florida State University) back in December of 2008 and it was then that my adventure at PowerChord began. I took what was a professional heartbreak and turned it into an opportunity.
After meeting with Pat Schunk (founder) and learning of his mission to solve multi-location marketing and website experience needs I knew this was a perfect fit to get my feet wet within the digital advertising world. I knew I desired to follow a fearless leader and that was what Pat offered. I saw opportunity in PowerChord, that’s what initially sparked my interest in the company.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
I’ve had a fascinating 10 years at PowerChord. I began as a Junior Account Manager (2009), working on PowerChord’s single largest client and now I direct a team of strategic account leads across all of PowerChord’s 25+ customers. I also play a critical role across PowerChord’s various business units including our digital marketing, sales, and engineering business units.
It’s not often in today’s technology world that employees stay at a company for more than a few years, PowerChord has made me an exception to that rule. For me to have grown from an Account Manager to the Director of Digital Marketing to the Director of Strategic Accounts and now to VP of Marketing & Strategy is pretty remarkable. I’ve found rich success in my ability to understand various roles and responsibilities within PowerChord’s different business divisions and strongly feel this has played a firm role in my professional accomplishments.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
One of my most embarrassing moments was during one of my first scheduled group client webinars. I had about 25 people on the line for an overview and unveiling of a new product launch and not once, not twice, but three times I accidentally ended the call and had to require everyone to hold while dialing back in. Not to mention I was nervously speaking gibberish after the third hang up. During the call, one of the clients called me out mid-discussion telling me to take a breath and that I was doing great.
It was a true professional lesson! While our clients were more than patient, I knew this meant that I needed to be more prepared for future client conference calls. It was a simple, yet very important lesson, that still sticks with me today. It wasn’t just about the phone call; it was the fact that you can never fully prepared for anything. Life will through you strikes but also curveballs, and the reason is that you have to swing and miss a few times so you can really appreciate and sit in awe of the home runs.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Hands down, the people of PowerChord are what makes the company stand out. In the last ten years, I’ve seen many people of PowerChord both come and go. What makes PowerChord special is the talent behind their glass walls and MacBook Air computers. PowerChord inspires employees to be themselves and encourages and values strategic thinking across all teams and roles. Male, female, younger, older, seasoned or a new professional PowerChord really empowers its people to take pride and ownership in what they do.
Examples include all the recent promotions, in particular when it comes to PowerChord’s female leadership. Look at Stephanie Shreve and Michelle Tipton as examples. Not to mention Kim Williams and Danielle Beckman, both who recently advanced their careers within the digital marketing team. These ladies all worked diligently to earn their seat at the table. The reason they shine is that at PowerChord their voice is heard.
In all my years at PowerChord I have proudly watched many fellow colleagues advance their careers in the direction and determination of their choice while also benefiting the prosperity of PowerChord. It’s the perfect backdrop for a winning formula.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Always! My team is currently working across our clients to introduce Joint Partnership Plans. These two-way communication tools will enable PowerChord to ensure each of our client relationships remains thriving. It also allows us to make sure each client keeps their primary business goals and areas of focus intact. Day in and day out, my team works hard to make sure each client truly values PowerChord as a partner and an extension to their management/business teams; we never seek to just be a “vendor”. These plans will enable PowerChord to formulate paths to success for each of their respective clients.
Another new project is our reinvention of the PowerChord Digital Advisory Council. This one is top secret, and you will need to follow PowerChord to find out more in the near future! Be prepared to be inspired by all the digital and technology advancements coming in the next 365 days and beyond.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
First and foremost, surround yourself with people who inspire you yet challenge you. Never let fear paralyze you and instead let it push you to be better, smarter and hungrier every day. Let others teach you by always listening more than you speak and by embracing others’ viewpoints which in turn will always help add clarity to your own.
Learn from failures but never dwell on them. When challenges get in your way, simply build yourself a new and brighter path.
Lastly, you must be your own biggest fan, and you have to believe in yourself. Don’t question your abilities and instead get inspired by your limits.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Always be an active and present listener. As a leader, it’s important for your team to genuinely know you have their back. While team members are often seeking advice, they are more often looking for a listening ear and someone to talk through their challenges or ideas with. Be bold, be assertive but in a calming and relaxing way. I’m not one to lead by fear I prefer to lead by opportunity.
I like to focus on building relationships with my team members. Keeping the discussions conversational helps avoid the feeling of micromanagement and instead instills open and encouraging dialogue. This helps everyone stay in tune with everything that is going on.
Lastly, delegate. To be effective you cannot do everything, and you must depend on and trust your team members to carry their weight. It not only affords you an opportunity as a leader, but it also empowers and strengthens your team to grow as well.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
While I’ve had many wonderful leaders in my life, one that I’m quickly reminded of is Mark Regan. Mark was previously the Chief Digital Officer at PowerChord. During Mark’s 5+ years at PowerChord, he helped drive me towards my goals of becoming a Director (and now VP). He supported me in achieving my master’s degree while working full time in 2015, he pushed me towards more challenging client conversations and projects, and he routinely worked with me to re-establish my next professional goals.
Mark would both encourage and acknowledge my self-development. What was interesting about Mark’s leadership style too is that is was the opposite of mine. Mark was more of the micro-manager, high octane type — while I wasn’t built that way. It was the balance that enabled me to learn from Mark while paving my own style when it came to both client management and team leadership.
Sometimes it just takes people believing in you to bring forth your best self. Mark did that for me.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I aim to bring positivity to the world each day. It is real in both my personal and professional life. I devote myself towards giving my employees a place to work that is safe, fun and challenging. Being a key leader, I appreciate the value of being a player/coach. I firmly believe this is what brings such dedication and commitment amongst my team.
It’s no secret that life is short; I strive to bring happiness each day into the workplace as it’s my goal to make sure each of my team members is thriving and happy at PowerChord.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Empower and trust your team. Work with them. The most successful leaders are highly collaborative. You must depend on and believe in your team members. It doesn’t matter the role, title or length of tenure; each of your team members working together is what generates success. If you have a weak link, teach them. If you have a weak link that doesn’t want to be taught, let them go.
2. Don’t step into solutions too swiftly. It’s important to always listen more than you speak. Each of us will never have all the answers, and therefore it’s important to hear others out and gain all the facts before making firm decisions.
3. Be authentic, passionate and even emotional about what you believe in. It’s okay to care. I hate the words, “it’s just a job”. It’s not just a job. It’s where you spend 40+ hours a week.It’s where we spend 1/3 of our lives. You should be passionate about what you do. Good days should make you smile and bad days should make you frustrated. Own your role and don’t be afraid to show that you care. If you don’t care or if you stop caring, it’s time to get a new job.
4. Keep trying. Always learn and reflect on the more challenging times but don’t dwell on them. Each lesson is just that, a lesson. Learn from your stumble and apply those learnings to your next endeavor. Embrace failure and celebrate your wins — wins wouldn’t exist without the losses.
5. Act with integrity always. Your team is always watching you. They will learn from you and grow with you. Every decision and action counts as a leader.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would want to inspire a movement that reminds people that life is short, and no moment should be missed. My movement would be the “work/life” balance movement. People need both to survive, and balancing them is a true requirement for success. 4-day work weeks would be the real deal, and PTO wouldn’t exist. Employees would be amped up to contribute in their workplace and then equally as excited to have a mimosa at the beach on Saturday. This movement would give ownership to respective individuals understanding that their work commitments would be met without question and the reward would be the freedom to manage their time accordingly.
Secondarily, I would love to start the “no email” and “2 meetings per day” movement, but I haven’t yet tackled how to do so successfully. I don’t believe anyone would disagree that taming the inbox needs to be solved and pre-defined 30- and 60-minute meetings are often filled with wasted time. The way we’ve learned to communicate is lazy and defensive if we got rid of those two notions everyone would have far more productive collaboration and communication.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
If I could sit down with anyone from a business perspective it would absolutely be Richard Branson. He is inspirational in many ways, and I love his zest for this world and the people in it. He works hard but more than anything else he gives back and loves fiercely.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I have two favorite quotes by the admirable Richard Branson. “Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress”. Followed by, “train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don’t want to.”
I’m all about people! Whether it’s a colleague, clients or family and friends for me that’s what life is all about. I take real pride in my passion for work although it doesn’t always come easy. It’s the people by my side that inspire me to keep going and to keep challenging myself. Pushing myself allows me to play a key role in both my clients and the company’s success. By challenging my team and giving them the means to thrive it affords me the best reward of all and that is their success.
Media Mogul Jacqueline Hernández: “Brands need to have PURPOSE more than they need to have image campaigns”
I believe purpose is the fifth “P” of marketing. In every role that I have had, marketing has been a big part of what I oversee and one of my strengths, particularly in building brands. Brands need to have PURPOSE as much or more so than they need to have image campaigns. I always look to develop platforms where we can give back to the consumer and connect in a meaningful way.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Jacqueline Hernández. Jacqueline is the Co-Founder and CEO of New Majority Ready™, a Marketing and Content company with the mission to help businesses and brands rethink ‘Multicultural’ and get New Majority Ready. She is the former President of Hispanic Sports & Entertainment Media Company, Combate Americas, where she was able to put the brand on the map delivering record-breaking ratings and global distribution partnerships. Prior to that, Hernåndez was the former Chief Operating Officer of NBCU Telemundo Enterprises for over six years, and the CMO of NBCU Hispanic Enterprises for 3 years working across all of the divisions across the NBC Universal portfolio of brands. For ten years she worked for Time Warner (now Warner Media) where she was Publisher of People En Español /Teen People as well as serving various leadership roles at Time, Fortune, and Turner Broadcasting/CNN International. Jacqueline has received recognition within the media, entertainment and marketing industries for her leadership and expertise related to the understanding of Hispanic consumer behavior in the United States.
Thank you so much for joining us Jacqueline! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
After working for two major media companies, most recently NBCUniversal for nearly a decade, I began to see a great deal of change in the traditional media world. I began to see more and more “disruption” and the traditional media model was constantly being challenged by new entrants that were attracting what I called, the “change agents,” today’s multicultural, millennial and generation Z audiences, which are my expertise.
This led me to start my own company MtoZ which focused on advising and helping disruptor companies reach, grow and build brands that spoke to this powerful consumer segment.
Upon announcing this initiative, the very first call I got was from Campbell McLaren, founder and CEO of Combate Americas, who I had met 3 years prior when I was COO of Telemundo. We partnered on launching his reality show on NBCU’s Hispanic cable network, mun2.
Everything about Combate lived up to my company’s new mission. It was a disruptor, it reached young millennials and it super-served the Latino audience it was created to reach. Although I ended up taking on several other clients and growing my business, my passion for Combate and the business we were building became insatiable and the rest is history. I joined as President last April to lead the business side of the company and help build a global mega brand. We have had enormous success and have had an impressive year of audience growth.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
The most interesting story happened to me on the very first night that I went to a live event. It was before I was “officially” on board as President.
I had been working with leading Hispanic and multicultural brands for nearly two decades and had never seen such a passionate, young and engaging live consumer event experience. The venue was packed, there was an almost electrifying energy, and in addition to SuperFans, there were couples on dates, families with their kids and abuelas in the audience. It was then that I realized that this was not your traditional MMA Sporting event. I saw the power of the Latino market and the Hispanic consumer. And as the night went on, I continued to see that every athlete was Latino from distinct and Latin countries, and very proud of it. This was our secret sauce, our true passion points of differentiation, celebrating Hispanic culture, heritage and national pride.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Well, it is no secret that I did not come from an MMA or Combat Sports background. So at first it took me a while to get used to the terminology: grappling, KOs, etc. I remember in one meeting I was blanking on grappling and said something to the effect of when they are “rolling around” and the team just looked at me and started laughing. I was so embarrassed. The lesson to me is yes, you should always lean in and learn whatever business, industry or sector you are going into, but it’s also okay to be your authentic self. No one on the team expected me to be a Mixed Martial Arts expert. They knew I was coming in as business leader and brand builder to help them grow the revenue side of the business.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
I believe all leaders regardless of gender need to set a vision, provide their teams with a path to get there and ensure they have the tools for success. Guide fairly, but strongly and always have your team’s backs.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Always manage with integrity and trust and be clear and thoughtful in your communication.
It is also extremely important to have trusted deputies and to delegate. Taking it all on, micromanaging in a manic way and being unable to trust others to perform is not managing a team.
When you need to make a change, make it swiftly and elegantly.
There is no need to do things in an ugly or unnecessary manner.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
There are MANY people who have helped me along the way. The one who I most credit though, is my father Diego. He taught me to be fearless; not foolishly or arrogantly, but fairly.
A great story about him and a lesson he taught me was when I was very little and learning how to swim at the beach. The waves would come, and I would run away. He would stop me and say “You know how to do this. Don’t run from the waves. Dive in and ride them out. If you run, they will just knock you over.”
Years later, I was faced with a challenge in business as we all have with the changing business world.
And he said, “remember what I told you about the waves when you were learning how to swim? Don’t run. Dive in. You’ll end up on top.” That very lesson played very big role in my career in television and overall. Therefore, I am and always will be a disruptor. You need to embrace change and ride the wave out.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I have and I always will. I believe purpose is the fifth “P”of marketing and in every role that I have had, marketing has been a big part of what I oversee and one of my strengths, particularly in building brands. In doing so, I believe that brands need to have PURPOSE as much or more so than they need to have image campaigns. I always look to develop platforms where we can give back to the consumer and connect in a meaningful way.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1- Early wins. In each new role that I have taken on, I have tried to put an early win on the board. I feel it is a great way to make a “first impression” and truly sets the tone for who you are as a leader.
2- Walk the Talk. It’s very important to be consistent and to be credible. I always say you are not a leader if people do not follow and they will definitely not do so if you do not walk the walk.
3- Follow your passion. I always say that we spend a great deal of time at work, so it is critical that we don’t just like what we do, but that we LOVE what we do.
4- Lead by example. By setting an example you will create and drive a culture.
5- Continuous Wins. What have you done lately? Early wins are great, but continuous wins are necessary for a culture of success.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
There are so many opportunities to do good in the world. One that we are working on for later this year is to promote health and wellness through proper nutrition and exercise. This initiative will be especially important to the 1 billion Hispanics globally who the program would be dedicated to and developed for.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
The “tiny voice” in you always knows which way to go. Follow your gut. We usually know when something is right or wrong for us. Sometimes we put off or silence this tiny voice, but it’s usually right and when you finally act, you realize that very quickly.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I’d love to have a conversation with Jeff Bezos. I find the businesses he has launched to be brilliant, disruptive and consumer-centric. I have also read a lot about his leadership style and his focus on driving scale with a business motto of “Get Big Fast”.
Chelle Neff: “When you grow up being an “artist”, you are conditioned to go with the wind and let whatever happens happen; It took me a while to accept that you can’t run a business that way”
Structure and systems work. When you grow up being an “artist”, you are conditioned to go with the wind and let whatever happens happen. It took me a while to accept that you can’t run a business that way. You have to implement a system in place and stick to it. In 2014, I hired a salon consultant group and a business coach. They taught me how to place structure in my company where it was lacking, and then followed up with quarterly visits to track my growth. Without structure for myself and my team, we never would have experienced the success that we have today.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Chelle Neff. Chelle has been a leader in the U.S. salon industry since she founded Urban Betty Salon in 2005. Neff started her salon company with just one employee and a strong vision. Over the years, she grew her business to what it is today, a $3.4 million grossing company with two locations and over 50 employees. Neff continues to innovate in the salon industry; Neff designed and developed her own app, FyleStyle, for hairstylists to track client information and color formulas and in 2017, she launched Betty Bootcamp, a series of educational hair classes for the public. In 2018, Urban Betty was named as one of the fastest growing privately held companies in the country by Inc. 5000.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was led to this career path from my sheer motivation to do better in my life than what I had grown up with. My parents had me when they were teenagers and we lived meagerly while I was young. I knew that if I wanted to go to college, I would need to find a way to pay for it myself along with my cost of living. I naturally had a knack for doing hair and art, so when I was 16, I had the chance to enroll in cosmetology school while in high school, and by 18, I was fully licensed. This was much more affordable for me than the traditional college route, so that’s what led me to pursue it. Ten years later, I opened Urban Betty.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
The most interesting story that has happened to me is the day I learned to ask for help. For years, I struggled with trying to figure out how to make a profit on my own. I started out with a contractor-based model, and then slowly switched to a commission-based (employee) model. I kept trying to change things up thinking “this will be the thing that will turn my P&L around and make me money”. After 11 years of being in that hamster wheel, I decided to turn to professionals in my industry and ask for help, which by the way, is extremely hard for me! I hired a consulting group that changed my life forever. They had 30+ years of industry knowledge and showed me how to restructure my entire business. Within three months of implementing their methods, we had more money in our bank accounts than ever before. And two years later, I was able to retire from doing hair and focus solely on managing and scaling my company.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
The first thing I did when I started my company was launch a website with a terrible logo. This was around 2002. I mistakenly thought that I could just do updo.com. Which is hilarious because I had no idea that such a basic domain name would already be taken. Also, can you imagine how hard it would be to actually find my salon if anyone did a search? Back then, no one knew about SEO and the importance of a domain name. It then required me to think outside of the box and come up with something that would be original and catch people’s attention. So from that, I came up with Urban Betty, which comes from my given name Betty Michelle. At the time, I thought my logo looked good. It was a lady with a city background and she looked very cartoonish. Think of Sex and the City if it was a children’s book. Not good. We reworked it after a couple of years. Recently, I found an old scrap book with my first brochure and the original logo. I showed it to my employees and they couldn’t believe how bad it was. We all had a good laugh!
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I think what makes my company stand out is our Betty Bootcamp classes. The common problem many of our guests face is not knowing how to re-create their own hair at home once they leave the salon. I would consistently hear that complaint and wanted to find a way to solve that problem.
I had a stylist that would book out an extra 30 minutes to give that guest a lesson on how to style their hair. One day, our manager noticed this and asked the stylist if she would want to teach a blowout class to several people at once. It caught on like wildfire and after a few years we launched our Betty Bootcamp classes. The general public can come in and learn how to blow out, curl, or braid their own hair, do their children’s hair, and learn how to apply makeup. This is a radical new idea that puts the power back into the guests’ hands when it comes to their hair.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes! I am working on creating an Urban Betty product line. So many of the products that we use out in the world today are filled with toxic chemicals. One of my stylists created a completely clean and safe conditioner and included me in that project. Before experiencing the creation of that, I wasn’t that interested in doing my own product line. But, once I saw that you can change people’s lives with just one product, I decided that I wanted to be a part of that initiative. So many people are looking for chemical-free, organic products that are safe to use. I would love to help create something that changes the beauty industry for the better.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
The best advice I can give other female leaders is to stay connected with your team. Know every person you can that works for you and listen to them. You need to meet with your employees and ask them how they are doing. I schedule coffee dates with my employees quarterly. We sit down for 30 minutes and it’s their time to talk about life and ask me any questions (no agenda). Business or personal, dealer’s choice. I feel like if you can cry and laugh with your team, you will forge a bond like no other. Being strong is great, but being vulnerable is even more powerful. And, at the end of the day, vulnerability and our desire to show our human side will connect us all.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
The importance of structure within a large team is extremely important. You need to have systems in place that allow every employee to start out in the same place and end up wherever they can take themselves. We have a level system for our stylists and every person starts at the same level. They have five goals to hit within each level and we meet with them once a month to go over their numbers. If they hit their goals three months in a row, they’re promoted to the next level. So, the stylists’ ability to make more money lies within their own hands, which takes the pressure off of management to make that choice for them.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
About 10 years ago, I was doing hair and had a new guest come in. When I asked her what she did for a living she said that she meets with people to help them heal trauma in their life. I thought, “What the heck, I’ll schedule a visit.” When I first met with her, I admitted things out loud about my life that I had never told another person. It was an awakening and I realized that I needed a lot of help in my personal life. What I thought would be one visit turned into weekly visits that changed my life. She helped me gain the perspective I needed to leave a dysfunctional marriage, know my worth, and most recently, she helped me let go of the fears I had surrounding scaling my business. I suggest that every person in business have a life coach, guru, therapist or whatever you feel comfortable calling them, in your life. Meet with them at least twice a month and make sure they aren’t afraid to call you out on your BS.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I had the realization one day that I have a great platform to help other people and support organizations in the world. This year, we had our 11th annual clothing swap that benefited Austin Safe Place, a shelter for battered women and children. Over 200 women showed up to drop off their gently used clothing and took home with them whatever clothing they liked. The leftover items were donated. We usually donate around 20–30 large bags of clothing, shoes, and accessories. Every year our attendance to this event increases and all the staff participates by sorting the clothing. We draw new people into our salon because guests invite their friends and families to this event. This introduction is a great way to gain new guests and help our community!
The salon is also a permanent drop off location for Project Princess, a nonprofit organization that provides teenage girls in the Austin area a chance to attend their high school prom without having to stress over spending money on fashion. We have a special closet for donated formal dresses to give to this organization. Over the past five years we have collected well over one hundred formal dresses to donate. Along with this, we donate our services for updos to the teenage girls attending prom that cannot afford those services.
Twice a year, we team up with our local gym and do haircuts for the homeless. We have done three of these so far, and the sense of purpose and internal reward are immeasurable. Five to seven of our staff members cut hair for 2–3 hours at the gym in one of the large workout rooms. Homeless people arrive, shower, are given a fresh set of clothes, a haircut and job counseling.
The month of September is Leukemia awareness month and anyone willing to donate their hair during this month receives a free haircut from us. Any other month of the year we offer 50% off of your haircut for every guest that is willing to cut at least eight inches of his or her hair and donate it to this great cause! In the past, we donated the hair to Pantene Great Lengths, which provided the funds to turn this hair into free, real-hair wigs for women with cancer. Pantene has donated over 30,000 free real-hair wigs to the American Cancer Society wig banks and we couldn’t be happier to have been a part of this. Now, we’ve partnered with Wigs For Kids which is an organization that uses donated hair to create wigs for children with cancer.
All of these events promote teamwork in our salon. The staff is involved with helping plan, set up, work, and clean up. We have seen a tremendous amount of comradery develop between staff when they get to be involved in philanthropy and events held in our salon. It creates a much stronger bond when people get to “give back” together and see the results.
We encourage our team and guests to participate through social media announcements and email blasts about the events or charities. Most guests that attend bring friends that have never been to our salon. This give us a chance to show off our salon, our staff, and gain new guests while giving back.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Don’t be afraid to be a boss. When I first opened my company, I didn’t want to have any employees. I was only 28 and didn’t feel that confident. I had contractor-based business model. After several years of struggling to break even, we had a broken culture. Everyone worked for themselves and really didn’t care about the business as much as I did. They wanted to get in and out and do their own thing. When I realized that I wanted to create a more positive, cohesive culture, I knew that I would have to switch my business model. I decided to only hire employees and it forever changed my business for the better.
Structure and systems work. When you grow up being an “artist”, you are conditioned to go with the wind and let whatever happens happen. It took me a while to accept that you can’t run a business that way. You have to implement a system in place and stick to it. In 2014, I hired a salon consultant group and a business coach. They taught me how to place structure in my company where it was lacking, and then followed up with quarterly visits to track my growth. Without structure for myself and my team, we never would have experienced the success that we have today.
Give yourself the permission to say I don’t know. I once had an employee ask me a question that I didn’t know the answer to. When I said “I don’t know,” she said, “You’re supposed to know, you’re the owner.” That rocked my world. And you know what, owners don’t always know the answer and that’s OKAY! I still have to stop and remember to say “I don’t know,” instead of coming up with a solution in the moment. The best tactic that I have found is saying, “Let me get back to you in 24 hours.” That way, you can ask for help and find out the best answer. And, guess what? Most of the time they will actually figure the problem out on their own.
Delegate, delegate, and then delegate. Hello, my name is Chelle and I am a recovering perfectionist. I like to take on way too many tasks and I feel like no one can do it as well as me. I had to let that go and let other people make mistakes. I hired two amazing managers and taught them how to do my job, but I had to give them time to learn it. And, you know what? They actually do a better job at everything that I’ve showed them. It just took time and patience.
Take time off. Being at my salon 30 days in a row gave me the illusion that I was making it a better place. While at first, that might have been true, it finally caught up to me. I was having constant dizzy spells. When your body talks to you, you need to listen. If you are tired, sick, or grumpy, take some time off. You will be a much better leader when you feel rested and mentally prepared.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love to inspire a movement of knowing your worth. Too often we feel bad if we are successful or abundant. Money and abundance are a good thing! You can do so much good in the world if you have the means and the drive to do it. I would love for every person in the world to step into their own power and own their worth. We are all worthy of success and abundance. The only thing that holds you back are your beliefs about it.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite quote is “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” I heard this quote right after opening my salon company and I was completely overwhelmed with all of the things that I needed to do. I believe that all movement is forward movement. Even the smallest thing like having coffee with another business owner and asking them one question will help get you to where you are going.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I would love to meet J.K. Rowling. I am a huge Harry Potter fan and I love her success story. She literally wrote an idea down on a napkin and turned it into an empire. I have a burning secret desire to write a book and I feel like she could really give me a few pointers.
“We don’t serve the world by trying to be like everyone else” with Emily Wright and Fotis Georgiadis
I have since discovered that my femininity, expression of emotion and ability to connect with humanity is my greatest strength. Rising up to my full authentic potential gives those around me permission to do the same. My favorite quote is “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Today I am living the beauty of my dream and, by doing so, I get to light the same spark in others. Each of us has individual and divinely given gifts, and it’s up to us to recognize them and use them as a force for good in this world. We don’t serve the world by trying to be like everyone else. We must stand out and shine our powerful, unique light.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Emily Wright. Almost two decades ago, Emily came into the essential oil business without even really knowing what essential oils were. She explains, “I was actually a little embarrassed that I ended up working for a network marketing company, and on top of that it was a company that sold ‘voodoo’ oils.” However, over time her perspective shifted. She had two powerful experiences with the oils that empowered her as a mother to take care of her children in a natural manner. These experiences also made her very passionate about empowering other moms. As for network marketing, Emily says, “I had only had negative experiences in the past, but I have since realized that, done right and with integrity, the person-to-person model of network marketing actually works really well when you lead with a quality product. I have found it to be the most powerful business model in the world.” Emily never expected to be where she is at now, but she says, “Life has a way of molding you and providing experiences that prepare you for the person you are to become. Being part of doTERRA® has caused me to grow beyond what I thought was possible, and I love nothing more than to help others grow and find their purpose.”
Thank you for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was introduced to essential oils in the late 90s. A friend of mine insisted that I work for a little essential oil start-up company. I was resistant at first because I thought the idea of using essential oils as medicine was strange, and I didn’t want to set myself on a career path that wasn’t well respected. I was a young mother doing my best to raise two young children. When my daughter, who was just a year old at the time, had an emergency health challenge, I recalled the research I had read about peppermint essential oil. I decided to put it to the test. I was amazed at how quickly it worked. After a few more experiences like this one, I became obsessed with learning everything I could about essential oils and how they worked and have been enthusiastically teaching about their powerful benefits ever since. I want every mother and individual to be empowered with nature’s most powerful gifts to care for themselves and their families.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
That’s a hard one. I have so many. As we source essential oils from over 40 different countries around the world, as Founding Executives, we have the opportunity to meet with the people who are sowing the seeds, caring for and harvesting the plants and skillfully distilling the aromatic compounds. I met a woman named Veronica a few months ago as I was visiting with our sourcing partners and farms in Kenya. Veronica’s husband was killed in an automobile accident when she was pregnant with their fifth child. Overnight, her whole world changed. She had been a homemaker who enjoyed a comfortable life and was immediately put in a position of having to provide for her family. She could no longer afford to pay her children’s school fees. She began making ropes from the fibers of plants. When the shopkeepers stopped buying her ropes, she was put in a position to sell something much more precious. She sold her dignity and purity in order to feed her hungry children. I can’t even imagine what this did to her soul.
Veronica recently began harvesting pink pepper for doTERRA. She was paid more for her first peppercorn harvest than she had made in the three months prior. Today her children are all enrolled in school with her oldest son attending university. She is able to feed them nutritious food, has moved into a comfortable home and is now a leader of her people. She teaches other women to be self-sufficient by harvesting pink pepper. I love providing the most pure and potent essential oils to empower families around the world and affecting social change in doing so. This is my passion.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I have made more mistakes than I can count. The biggest overarching mistake I made when starting doTERRA was thinking I needed to look and behave like my male counterparts in order to “be enough.” As the only female Founding Executive of doTERRA and the only female executive in my role prior to founding the company, I didn’t recognize my unique gifts and strengths. I was confident in my ability to get things done, but I wasn’t operating from my zone of genius. I wore pantsuits and hid behind a masculine facade because I thought that’s what was required in order to be successful in business.
I completely missed the mark. I have since discovered that my femininity, expression of emotion and ability to connect with humanity is my greatest strength. Rising up to my full authentic potential gives those around me permission to do the same. My favorite quote is “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Today I am living the beauty of my dream and, by doing so, I get to light the same spark in others. Each of us has individual and divinely given gifts, and it’s up to us to recognize them and use them as a force for good in this world. We don’t serve the world by trying to be like everyone else. We must stand out and shine our powerful, unique light.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I think doTERRA stands out because we are able to provide the most tested and trusted essential oils in the industry while affecting social change. After founding the company in 2008, we sourced our oils from trusted vendors, but demand soon surpassed supply and we began looking for alternatives. The more involved we became in the sourcing process, the more we realized that the global supply chain was rife with corruption. Rather than contributing to the problem, we determined that doTERRA would be the solution. Today, ninety-six percent of our essential oils are proprietary, which means we have developed personal and exclusive relationships with the growers, harvesters, and distillers in over 40 countries who produce our essential oils. We work hand-in-hand with them from the ground up. Known as Co-Impact Sourcing, this initiative develops long-term, mutually beneficial supplier partnerships, which allows doTERRA to produce the purest essential oils in regions where they grow best while also providing jobs for rural farmers who might otherwise experience unfair wages or poor working conditions. In 2018, doTERRA helped provide 122,095 jobs and impacted 541,349 lives through our global sourcing efforts. It warms my heart to know that the majority of these jobs are held by women, including management positions.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My dreams for doTERRA have grown over the years. In the beginning, our main goal was to offer the most pure and potent essential oils the Earth had to offer. As the company has grown and evolved, our vision has expanded, specifically providing an opportunity for those living in developing countries to become self-reliant through our Co-Impact Sourcing Initiatives. We have big plans to continue working directly with growers all over the world to create more sustainable jobs and offer many families a better way of life. The potential that exists truly is limitless in terms of global impact. We currently have sourcing partners in more than 40 countries worldwide and continue to look to expand to areas that can benefit from our Co-Impact Sourcing initiative.
I am also excited about our new healthcare initiative. Imagine a world filled with physicians who have time to really understand the many factors that impact our health and partnering with you to not only prevent disease from occurring but also helping you choose more natural options. This initiative is in full swing as the first Prime Meridian clinics have opened their doors. It has been our vision for ten years, and it’s exciting to see it coming to fruition as we build a bridge between Western and Allopathic medicine and provide better choices for families throughout the United States and eventually around the globe.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
I have learned that being a woman is my greatest strength because I am able to relate to countless other women and mothers. We are the caretakers, the nurturers, physicians of our homes, and we have the ability to empower others to do the same. My biggest piece of advice to other female leaders is to believe in yourself, and believe in your ability to lift those around you. Forge the path your way and sprinkle your special magic. If we lift as we climb, we all rise together.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
doTERRA empowers so many women to be their own boss and lead their teams through our Wellness Advocate program. I know what it feels like to be unappreciated and underpaid because of my gender. I know what it feels like to lose my sense of identity. In my career, I had to work incredibly hard to be where I am today. My best advice to other female leaders who manage large teams is to love yourself and lead by example. No one wants to be managed or dictated to. Empower your team members to be creative and operate from their zone of genius. Take the time to get to know them personally and make sure they know you care about their wellbeing and success more than your own. Give opportunity for them to discover their own gifts and strengths and celebrate each success, no matter how small, along the way. People simply need to be inspired to bring the best versions of themselves forward. Be that inspiration.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
David Stirling saw in me what I didn’t see in myself years before we founded doTERRA together. He recognized that I was managing half of the company we previously worked for myself but still held the title of executive assistant. When he was asked to lead the company as the new CEO, he accepted on one condition: that I join him as a member of the executive board. I will never forget how his confidence in me changed my perception of my own abilities. He treated me as an executive and an equal, which allowed me to see myself that way. His belief in me transformed how I saw myself, and I love inspiring the same in others. Today we are business partners and, through doTERRA, have witnessed millions of lives changed. He continues to be a mentor to me and inspires me to push myself to be better each and every day.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I think the best thing the success of doTERRA has led to is the doTERRA Healing Hands Foundation. We strive to improve communities around the world by facilitating development projects in doTERRA Co-Impact Sourcing communities, by supporting anti-human trafficking efforts, feminine hygiene education, disaster relief, and micro-loan programs. Last year alone, we were able to distribute over 50,000 Emergency Relief Hygiene Kits, give 245 loans in Nepal, donate a mobile crime lab to be stationed in Arizona, and fund the construction of an aftercare facility in Haiti that will house survivors rescued from sex trafficking. Being able to take part in Healing Hands Foundation projects is truly one of the greatest highlights of my job
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why.
Embrace fear and use it to your advantage. Where greatness awaits, there will always be fear. Step into it.
Surround yourself with believers and doers — attract your tribe.
Put forth the work. Be the hardest working person in the room. The bar is set with you.
Know your why. Have a clear vision for where you’re going and the purpose behind it and then go all in. Unleash your passion.
Be generous…always. Be giving of your time, talents and resources.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
If there’s one thing I wish everyone could know, it would be that each of us has something very special to offer the world and there is no mold for success. Imagine the change in the world we could create, if every person recognized their individual worth, lived with an abundance mindset, and wholeheartedly strived to lift one another to a higher place. We can accomplish anything we set our minds to. Imagine each person living an empowered life. Imagine a world filled with selfless service. That’s part of the vision of doTERRA and I’ve been so inspired to be part of the incredible work we are accomplishing throughout the world. What we have sparked is not just an essential oil company, but also a movement that is empowering lives for the better.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite life lesson quote is: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill
Too often we fear failure. We fear the unknown. We fear ridicule. We fear judgement. We fear shame. Through the course of my life, I have learned to embrace fear. I let it fuel me rather than paralyze me as it once did. I would rather fail over and over again while striving my best to accomplish the goal at hand than do nothing. There is no joy in not trying. There is no joy in complacency. There is no joy in settling.
I have made more mistakes than I can count, and I have learned more from my mistakes and trials than I ever have from my successes. I have learned humility. I have learned compassion. I have learned that it’s okay to ask for help. I have learned that it’s also okay to start again and again and again. And I have learned that it’s important to have a clear vision for where you’re going filled to the brim with purposeful intent. A life without purpose is a very sad life.
The power of belief is a force to be reckoned with. Others will boldly follow when we have clarity of what we seek to accomplish and why it’s important. People yearn for purpose. They yearn for vision. They yearn to be empowered. They yearn to inspire and be inspired. I have learned to courageously seek after those things that matter and not worry about what others might think. What they think is none of my business anyway.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
We had the great privilege of welcoming Hugh Jackman as a guest speaker at doTERRA’s 2018 Global Convention. We bonded over our mutual desire to change the world by providing opportunities to small farmers and growers a hand up and fight against extreme poverty. Throughout our interactions, Mr. Jackman also told me about the amazing things his wife, Deborra-Lee Furness, is accomplishing. I would love the opportunity to sit down with her to discuss her success in making her family the priority and keeping them so close knit. I also would be fascinated to know more about her balancing of professional and home, philanthropy work around the world, and vision for the future.
“Leaders needs to be able to let go of control and trust their team” with Francis Perdue & Fotis Georgiadis
Be able to let go of control and trust your team. When I trusted my intern at the time she doubled my business by adding Instagram posts to bring in new clients and going through her sphere of influence to reach out for new talent that needed representation. The business boomed.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Francis Perdue, Senior Publicist of PS Media Talent and current Communications Director for My Beverages. Ms. Perdue has over 8 years’ experience building brands from NGO’s from The United Nations to Celebrities and Sports players. Now she focuses on creating strategic branding for companies and product lines.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was always drawn into radio. I loved R&b and grew up on “old school” music and a blend of current music. Listening to Phats Domino with my father or James Brown was the norm. When I entered college I was a classic “over-achiever” so it was kismet that I landed a gig as a on-air personality. One night my best friend was visiting and we were listening to Soul on Sundays , the Black Music Day, and decided to call in and have fun picking music. We stayed on the phone with my now long friend Kevin “KC” Morris and he became interested in me as a DJ. We left my dorm room at Pentland Hills and went over this dirt road to the radio station. I got my interview later by the GM and had training with the Music Director and it was history from there. I spent four years on radio while making a lot of friends, community connections and artists colleagues like Bishop Lamont who would lead me to becoming a publicist. They called me the “Hub” of information because I figured things out for people to be connected and solutions to problems.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
Public Relations for me has many interesting stories yet one of the most interesting story that happened to me since I began leading my company is that I applied to become a “sponsor broker” for a film festival entitled, ARTIVIST. I met with a man virtually from Spain then I met the owners of the organization in Hollywood. They ended up being a NGO for The United Nations. The group started out with maybe 10–15 people working and dwindled down to about 3 plus the founders. I ended up doing PR, sponsorship brokering, talent wrangling for honorees to actual performances and more. There were many ups and downs but I ended up forging a lot of great relationships with the talent as well as companies.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I can say it is funny now yet it wasn’t funny at the time. I took on clients who had a show on Afterbuzz named, SiStars and I talent wrangled for them and got John Salley because I was working on a revitalize of Runyon Canyon Project with him and Robert Richard because I was pitching his movie to investors at the time to be interviewed. They also said they wanted photos and video of them within the suite. My photographer took pictures of them and the guests we brought on for them. We were inside of an off-site gifting suite for the MTV Movie Awards. John was running late and asked me to get products for him so he can just come in take pictures and go. Robert brought in like 4 other people and tried to get them gifts at the gifting suite. The mistakes were: I should have not let Robert bring guests. I should have let John get the gifts on his own and I never should have listened to the talent on the show they were not over the gifting suite. The people over the gifting suite went through my stuff while I was assisting with a interview of Robert Richard and took everything back saying that I stole the gifts. They said my photographer could not take photos of the inside of the suite because a major outlet had a contract to get the photos and video first. The girls on the show couldn’t get gifts so they became negative because the guests that I invited received gifts and said I took gifts too and shouldn’t have been taking pictures even through that’s why they hired me and my photographer. It was a total nightmare for me in the moment and after I was very upset. I went to Maria Menunous , who owned After Buzz TV at the time and explained what was going on and how I felt violated that they went through my belongings. I’ve never stole anything in my life so, thank God Eric Wade, my then photographer and friend was with me the whole time. They acted really ignorant until John arrived and wouldn’t speak to anyone but me. I told him what happened; he smiled and said, “Never listen to the client.” He dealt with only me. Then Maria and the suite organizer changed their tune and tried to be nice to me. Treatment changed especially from the people in the gifting suite.
So, I went to the booths that were the most understanding about his schedule and skipped the ones who lied on me. Meanwhile, after being interviewed the people apologized yet my feelings were hurt and I learned a valuable lesson, “Never listen to the client about your job, the rules unwritten or written for publicity. Always check with organizers or event publicists for clarification prior to taking directions from the client(s). You’re the expert “
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
My Company, PS Media Talent, stands out because we think outside the box and connect the dots where others do not know to look for connections to creative solutions for projects.
Story: During the last couple of years we have taken on Sponsorship and product placement. A former great producer of The Doctors TV Show, Alicia Clark, Emmy Award winning producer, was referred to me by a friend from college. They couldn’t get a trade-out for a family that was guests on the Doctor’s TV Show. The son was told that he’d never walk again after a horrific accident and he just got up and walked again suddenly. He loved Legos yet Legoland had not responded. I went through a great Facebook group called Czars and a journalist connected me to Legoland Florida and they fulfilled the trade-out for me plus a couple of other companies came through for us to fulfill the product placement and we accomplished that in three days.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I’m working on several projects right now.
Currently, I have purchased my first franchise through Burgerim that we will open in Birmingham, Alabama.
We are working on a film with Triwen Productions, entitled, Coffee Pot with my long term client, Charnele Brown.
One product line entitled, My Beverages. This is very exciting to be in the water line of products. They have two products, My Artisan Water/ My Hemp Water and an Electrolyte Water entitled My Sport Water.
These products will help people enhance their water selections and inevitably improve their health; athletes will improve their recovery as well as have quality alkaline water that’s affordable.
In my position I’ve been able to start an influencer team with artists, djs, producers, athletes and more that will be out of Beta testing soon.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Having young talent around gives you a perspective to stay with current trends and get rid of old ones or improve upon them. Thrive by always being willing to adapt and change to new things especially technology. Allow interns to have a say in things they think will improve the process you have in place to create solutions and give them a way to become apart of the team permanently once they complete the internship process. The best thing I did was to hire interns and one became a publicist under my company. Now, Regan Farley is a Senior Publicist with her own firm, (RFA) The Regan Farley Agency and is still striving for greatness.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Large teams come with various personalities and strategy approaches especially if you deal in entertainment. Place benchmarks for the team and open up the forum for suggestions so the team may have input on strategy. Allow people to be experts at what they do and allow them to fail and fix their failures to lead to a success. Create an environment that the people around you feel comfortable coming to you in crisis in order to make the team more productive. Give incentives for positive reinforcements.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are?
I am grateful for many people who have assisted me in my journey in Public Relations. A person who I am truly grateful for that assisted me along the way is a celebrity photographer by the name of Eric Wade. Prior to his passing, he pushed me to get in front of the camera and document what I do and stood up for me as a young under thirty entrepreneur to many people we were contracted with who thought they could get away with anything from not paying or showing me disrespect because of me being a woman, Black and young. He was a confidant, a friend and an exceptional photographer who caught images of many people in entertainment and sports. He assisted me in my first movie press run, official press release and most of all followed me in tow all around Hollywood to capture my clients and events for our firm.
Can you share a story about that?
A story about Eric Wade I remember is him standing up for me to a so-called manager or as we like to call them “middlemen” to The Norwood family. My partner and I prepared a red carpet for a Knockout Records event and contracted Eric Wade for photography/videography. The manager of the event did not pay. I emailed, I called. I spoke to the family and they did not assist saying they gave the money to the manager to pay.
Eric stepped right in and called the guy and spoke with him man to man. We held the footage until he paid and we let the family know what was going on because it wasn’t their fault. He then attempted to make time to pick up the footage from Eric directly when it was supposed to go through me and the company. Eric directed him to address me as Ms. Perdue and told him that he will give the money to me as he was directed to do in the first place. He did so stubbornly yet he never tried that passive aggressive dismissive behavior with me again.
It pays off to have a team around you.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I take the time to speak at schools to encourage students during career days and other opportunities. We have an annual Pre-ESPY event, FUSE, where we give to a charity through the proceeds while having a gifting suite and party for celebrities and athletes. Also, I give advice to up and coming professionals in the Public Relations field as well as other fields through free consults.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.
· Be able to let go of control and trust your team.
When I trusted my intern at the time she doubled my business by adding Instagram posts to bring in new clients and going through her sphere of influence to reach out for new talent that needed representation. The business boomed up $7500 per month.
· Be open to suggestion.
Just when I thought I knew everything about the internet a person much older than me showed me more. I was told by a lady who was in politics to read a book called, Jab Jab ,Jab Right Hook by Gary Vaynerchuk. It changed my view of effective social media postings.
· Bet on yourself.
Have a plan b.c.d etc. I always make a benchmark date earlier than my actual due date just in case my person falls through or something happens unexpectedly. I keep templates of press release types just in case someone on the team doesn’t follow up on writing one. One person became ill and didn’t send out a press release and I had to write and distribute it in time for the client.
· Be ready to think outside the box
I always think differently. Once on a project I had to talent wrangle a celebrity. No one got back to my calls and emails except to say to reach back next year and the event was next year. So, I remembered that celebrity’s wife was in music, so I reached out to a producer who thought that she would want to be involved and the wife pushed to the husband’s pr team to answer the nomination and award notice immediately.
· Be Assertive when you give instructions that are imminent that your team should follow.
I asked an associate to contact a company for sponsorship. She did and they said they would pass and she came to me asking what should she do. I told her to line them up for the next year since we had authority to do a multi-year deal. Instead the associate decided to contact the client to say that she should push forward even though they said not now. The client redirected them to me and said I knew what was best since my firm had secured sponsorship for them in the past. She was upset and humbly came back to me to admit she was wrong. She did not follow the rules and embarrassed herself.
· Be ok with letting people go.
Many associates have gone on to bigger and better positions elsewhere. When people leave if the respect was set they will come back or when the time is right they will be great colleagues. One of my interns went onto CNN and now is a producer for a major network. She now refers work to us. I have had interns come back after complaining while working to say it was the best experience they have had as an intern and worker in the entertainment industry and asked for a recommendation letter.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
If I would inspire a movement that would invoke change it would be focused on the way things are handled when someone is killed for no reason just because of the fact that somehow a person was intimidated or threatened by them being Black. This movement would take over where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. left off in his push for written law to change so we can be pushed into the “Jim Crow” Era of the unwritten rules being challenged. Legislation in the United States should be created to combat the attack of Civil Rights for people of color.
Melanin filled people not just in the US suffer from things that surpass a “haves and haves not situation.” The alarming rates of Black males being killed by police officers and others who are filled with stereotypes, racism, sexism, bigotry and the list goes on has to to stop. It really upsets me. There are no “anti-lynching” laws or laws that prevent the crimes that have been so rampant against people of color.
I would create a group of lawyers, lobbyists and other social change impact doers who would focus just on Civil Rights Law. The whole mission would be to create legislation that would impact at the state and federal levels to ensure that there are consequences and preventative measures in place to stop the needless killing of innocent people for doing things like walking from a store, being in their backyard or in their own home just relaxing watching ESPN.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
During my Amway days I heard someone from the stage say this quote and it spoke volumes to me during a convention.
“With, without, because of or despite of anyone you will make it.” Author Unknown
I have had many trials and the determination that I have makes me press in. Moving forward is all that I know to do no matter the circumstance. I’m determined to make it.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Business Instagram/Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn: @psmediatalent
Personal IG/Twitter: @frannubian Facebook/LinkedIn- Francis Perdue
It is important to keep learning. Things are changing faster today than ever before so staying current on business trends and always building on your skills and talent are critical. I’m an avid reader so reading is the way I stay current and continue to learn. I recently established a leadership book club at my organization, which is open to any employee who wants to participate. The group meets about every six weeks, and the group chooses the next book together. It’s been a great way for me to bond with people, read new and different books and model being a lifelong learner.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Nancy Batterman, Chief Executive Officer of Options For All. Nancy has served 34 years to the nonprofit organization and is a leader in the advocacy for disability awareness and support. Nancy is an alumnus of San Diego State University, where she earned both her Master of Business Administration and her Master’s in Education. She continues her support of SDSU by mentoring SDSU students in their final year of college. Nancy is also active in the Developmental Disability Provider Network in San Diego. Nancy is an active fundraiser for Options For All and for the Endowment Committee of her local church, St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church. Nancy has been active in the California Disability Services Association (CDSA), the trade association for agencies who serve individuals with developmental disabilities in California for more than 20 years. Nancy is active in local politics, where she has learned the value of grassroots efforts while working on campaigns and supporting disability advocacy issues. In conjunction with the CDSA, Nancy meets with local legislators on an annual basis and has a strong working relationship with Assembly Member Brian Maienschein’s office. Nancy is an active member of the San Diego Regional Chamber and participates on the Public Policy and Education & Workforce Committees of the Chamber. She has traveled to Sacramento and Washington D.C. with the Chamber to advocate for services and supports for people with disabilities. Founded in 1985, Options For All serves individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities, helping empower them to become fully participating members of their communities. The organization serves as many as 1,300 individuals who face the challenges of autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, hearing and vision impairments, learning and intellectual disabilities, and severe behavioral disorders. Options For All offers a wide range of programs and services throughout the state of California, including San Diego, San Bernardino, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz and Riverside counties.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
My brother was in the first special education class in the school district where I grew up in Wisconsin. I saw the positive impact that his services had on him and my family. This is why I chose to go into the Special Education field in college. That decision led me to a job when Options For All was just beginning. It was one of the most important and right decisions I have ever made! That decision led me to where I am at Options For All today.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
In 2006, we were the Community Options division of the Foundation for Educational Achievement (FEA). We had been a part of this larger organization since our founding in 1985. Since then each of the divisions had grown substantially. We were no longer seeing the economies of scale that we had in the past. My colleague, Pat Rickard (the President of the CASAS division of the Foundation for Educational Achievement) and I decided to approach the Board President about our divisions separating from the FEA. He was extremely supportive and within a year, we had made the transition to becoming a stand-alone nonprofit with the new name of Employment & Community Options.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
One of the values has always been innovation…being a trailblazer. This is what really distinguishes us from other nonprofits in our sector. When we started, we were one of the first nonprofits to focus solely on community-based services and integration of individuals with the most significant disabilities. We have continued that effort throughout our 34-year history. Other examples include our social enterprises where the folks we support operate businesses in the community. They include Feel Good Coffee, Poway Super Shredders and Vending Express.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
One of the most exciting new services we have implemented in my 34-year career at Options For All is our Film & Media Studios. This is a 4 semester (20 weeks/semester) film and media vocational program for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and focuses on individuals on the high end of the autism spectrum. This is a partnership with Joey Travolta and his company Inclusion Films. Joey brings his film and media experience, while we bring our expertise working with adults with disabilities.
Students learn all aspects of filmmaking including pitching a story, writing scripts, building sets and props, auditioning, acting, filming and postproduction. Students make two short films per semester. We are now providing this innovative service in all three of our geographic locations. We have also started our own production company, Options For All Productions to support our graduates in getting film gigs. This month at San Diego’s Film Week, we received our first film award for “Diversity in Film”.
This vocational program is helping highly skilled and talented young adults achieve success and pursue their dream job. We are also helping break the barriers of employment in the film industry.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
My advice is to build strong relationships with the key influences on the team. It is important to build and maintain relationships with employees at all levels of the organization.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Surround yourself with a strong team. Always hire “A” players, which means you must be confident about yourself and your skills. Your team should complement your skill set. Surround yourself with great people, successful people.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
My mentor was Garland Peed III, my boss and the CEO of the Foundation for Educational Achievement. He was the person who gave me the support and courage I needed to fulfill my passion at Options For All. I was young and naïve, but passionate about my work and expanding our services. I knew that when I said I wanted to expand to a new area or start a new program, I had better be sure because if I said I could do it, he said yes to do it! Garland gave me the freedom to take risks, fail and try again. He also encouraged me to continue to learn and grow. He taught me the business skills to make this nonprofit successful and he supported me to go back and get my MBA when we both realized I was running a small company.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I’m only successful because I have worked with great passionate people who care deeply about the success of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families. As an organization, we have helped thousands of individuals receive their first paycheck, or move into their first apartment and produce their first film. Our success allows us to serve more individuals and support more individuals to reach their full potential.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Lifelong learner — It is important to keep learning. Things are changing faster today than ever before so staying current on business trends and always building on your skills and talent are critical. I’m an avid reader so reading is the way I stay current and continue to learn. I recently established a leadership book club at my organization, which is open to any employee who wants to participate. The group meets about every six weeks, and the group chooses the next book together. It’s been a great way for me to bond with people, read new and different books and model being a lifelong learner.
2. Routine & Discipline — the Miracle Morning is an amazing daily process developed by Hal Elrod that includes meditation, affirmations, reading, journaling, visualization and exercise. If done daily, these six activities can elevate your success. I have completed 528 consecutive days of the Miracle Morning. The benefits are vast — being calmer, more at peace, accomplishing more at a slower pace, reaching financial and work goals and losing 30 pounds. I just wish I had found this 25 years ago!
3. Hope for the best, plan for the worst — As a leader, you want to project positivity and optimism, but at the same time, you have to consider what things can go wrong and plan for them. This way you are always prepared. In 2009, when the economy was struggling so was Options For All. We made the very difficult decision to make our first and only staff layoffs. Although we planned for these early on and hoped we wouldn’t have to lay staff off, we soon realized we were going to have to make this very tough decision. By planning and having back-up plans in place, we were able to weather the very difficult times in 2009. We came out of that situation leaner and stronger.
4. Don’t become complacent, don’t take anything for granted –No matter how long you have been successful I learned I had to keep learning and trying new ideas. I became complacent and was reluctant to try new things and take risks like I had in the past. Fortunately, I had a mentor who was willing to be honest with me and started asking me the hard questions. This made me reflect on where my success had come from and to return to those principles.
5. Work hard, play hard — To be successful, you have to put forth maximum effort all of the time. I believe in working hard and in playing hard, too. It’s important to find ways to release stress and have fun. For me this includes gardening, reading and kayaking.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would like to influence others to be more accepting of people with disabilities. I encourage others to see the abilities and capabilities of individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. This group of people can contribute to society when given the opportunity to do so.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Leadership success requires continual change, improvement and sacrifice.” John Maxwell
I see John Maxwell as one of the Gurus of leadership. He has written many books on leadership most of which I’ve read. This quotes stands out to me. It’s why I have kept reading his books and books of other successful business people and leaders. They all describe the importance of lifelong learning. Not only do I need to keep learning, I need to keep taking risks, trying new things and making sacrifices to stay successful. It takes continual effort. Effort and hard work do pay off!
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
John Maxwell. I have always liked to read and as my career started taking off, I really became interested in reading about leadership, John Maxwell has written many books on leadership and I have read almost all of his books and heard him speak on several occasions. I would be honored to meet him one day and talk with him about his most difficult leadership lesson.
Empower, empower, empower! It sounds obvious but I’ve found by managing women that you have to remind them that they are in charge. Don’t doubt yourself or second guess your decisions. Trust your gut. We almost always have the answer we’re looking for but don’t trust ourselves to execute. You wouldn’t be in leadership if someone didn’t trust your judgement.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Rose Previte, 2018 RAMMY nominee for Restaurateur of the Year. Rose is co-owner of DC’s award-winning restaurants Compass Rose and Maydan, comes from a food loving Sicilian-Lebanese family. Growing up, Rose spent years helping to run her mother’s catering business and later her restaurant. She later spent over a decade working in bars and restaurants, including Mike Schuster’s Pour House for over six years, while getting a master’s degree in Public Policy from George Mason University. Rose married David Greene, NPR journalist, and joined him when he was posted in Russia. In almost three years’ time the couple traveled to 30 countries, absorbing their street and market foods, and the energy of diverse cultures. These travels reinforced her strong commitment to community, and to offering people the chance to taste delicious foods and discover the meaning behind them, which inspired the opening of Compass Rose in 2014. Since Compass Rose’s opening, the 2017 RAMMY award-winner for best casual restaurant has been named on every best restaurant list in D.C. and has received national recognition from esteemed news outlets including The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, Food & Wine, Bon Appetit, etc. In November 2017, Rose opened her second award-winning restaurant, Maydan, which was conceived and designed over a three-week journey last summer through Morocco, Tunisia, Turkey, Georgia and Lebanon to discover those countries’ foodways. Since its opening just nine months ago, the restaurant, named a James Beard Semifinalist, has received critical acclaim from local, regional, and national press outlets, including being named a №2 Best New Restaurant in America” by Bon Appetit, a “Top 10 Best New Restaurant” by Food & Wine, a “Best New Restaurant in America” by G.Q Magazine, one of Eater’s “18 Best New Restaurants in America”, the 2018 “Best Restaurant Design” winner by Eater DC, and more.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I grew up in food loving-home helping my mother with her catering business. I knew I always wanted hospitality to be a permanent part of my life but wasn’t quite sure how to make it that way. I always worked in bars or restaurants after leaving home but felt like I didn’t want to do that forever. So instead went to graduate school and worked for non-profits and then got a local government job. Until my husband’s job lead us to live in Moscow, Russia for three years. I traveled the world with my husband during that time and I got a lot of time to contemplate my life. I wasn’t working then and knew I had to make a career change when we moved home. So on the Trans-Siberian Express somewhere in Siberia (no exaggeration) I decided that when I got back to the States I would start doing everything in my power to figure out how to open a restaurant.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
There really are so, so many. But an early experience that I’ll never forget was my fight to get a liquor license at my first restaurant, Compass Rose. The restaurant is in an old row house in a row of mixed-use buildings. But we were the first restaurant to move in. Because I was a female owner and on the young side when I started opening the business, a group of neighbors fought with the City to try and keep me from getting a very legal liquor license for the business. The fight cost us months of delays on construction, unexpected legal fees and hours of meetings with unreasonable people. It was one of the biggest learning experiences of my life and one of the hardest things I had ever gone through. We had a super tight budget and I thought all the extra expenses could cost us so much of our funding that we would have to back out of the project. I worried that if we didn’t get the license it wouldn’t matter anyway because there was no point to opening. In the end, the conflict management skills I learned as well as the fight to persevere were expensive but valuable lessons learned.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Of course I think a lot of things make us stand out. Our commitment to a crazy level of service based on a true love for hospitality. How we are dedicated to the details or how we do things just a little differently than anyone else does. But one of the nicest compliments we get is that we have a great “vibe”. When people come in to either one of my restaurants they always comment on this. It’s a mix of good energy, lighting, design and music. It’s something that only comes for a truly genuine core created by people who really care and love what they are doing. That makes us stand out.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I have a couple things in the works. Possibly opening other locations around the country. I think we have a good message that should be spread to other places. I have a a little dream of starting a textile-based company that creates linens for restaurants. I think there is a need in this area and I think I can find a really cool way of making it affordable but still empowers female entrepreneurs. I know that’s vague but details to follow!
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
Empower, empower, empower! It sounds obvious but I’ve found by managing women that you have to remind them that they are in charge. Don’t doubt yourself or second guess your decisions. Trust your gut. We almost always have the answer we’re looking for but don’t trust ourselves to execute. You wouldn’t be in leadership if someone didn’t trust your judgement.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
Act with a ton of confidence. It’s like I teach my servers on the floor, if you speak with confidence most people are going to listen. Even if it’s the first time you’re talking about a new wine or new dish, just say what you know to be true with confidence and people are more likely to listen. When you doubt yourself, they will doubt you too. We already have to overcome that people don’t naturally believe what we have to say because we are female, so talk the part! Confidence doesn’t have to be arrogance, there is a fine line….
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
My business partner took a chance on me when we opened Compass Rose. He already had businesses but hadn’t done a full restaurant. I used to work for him at a bar on Capitol Hill. He trusted that even though I had never done this before, that I would work hard and figure it out. He also trusted that I already knew a good bit about food, beverage and service even though I hadn’t proven that I could sell as much as would need to be sold to open Compass Rose. He trusted me and taught me parts of the business I didn’t know. He’s never made me feel less than for being a woman and I really appreciate that. He supports me trying out a ton of crazy ideas because he believes I can do what I say I can do.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I came from the non-profit sector before restaurants so I sort of had to remember I was now in the business of MAKING money. Now, making money pays the paychecks of a lot of employees so that is good and important. But now at least we have a little platform to bring attention to issues that need to be talked about. We are able to host a lot of cool fundraiser where we use food to connect people to issues and cultures they might not know about otherwise. The concept behind both of my restaurants is about not being afraid to try something new, go somewhere new and most of all to not be afraid of people who are different than you. We spread that word in all of our marketing and in the stories the guests hear in the restaurants.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. You are not weak if you ask for help. At the beginning I tried to do everything by myself and didn’t want to admit it was too much. I almost broke and that was silly when there were ways to get help, I just had to ask. No shame in that.
2. Like I mentioned, speak with confidence. I used to speak too quickly with lots of disclaimers on everything I said. I even mumbled when I wasn’t sure what I was saying was going to be received well. Now I speak clearly and with confidence and the reaction from people is entirely different. I figured out that if I didn’t believe in what I was saying, why would anyone else believe in me?
3. Do what’s in the best interest of the business. You have to do a lot of hard things daily, like fire people. I still hate it even when it is very deserved. But whenever I have to make a hard decision, I just ask myself, what’s best for these businesses and that’s your answer. Even if it feels terrible for a minute.
4. Don’t be afraid to talk about money. I waited too long to bring up some inequities in one of my partnership pay structures and it’s much harder to figure out after the fact than in the moment. It’s uncomfortable and we often don’t want to talk about money because at the end of the day, as women, we still question our worth. You are worthy so talk about it and you and your partners can usually come up with something that’s good for everyone (if you have the right partners).
5. Listen. Sometimes I talk too fast and too much and I forget to listen, really listen to what people, especially my staff, is saying. That’s a terrible habit I still work hard to break. Even if you’re crazy, rushed as an owner, take time to hear what people are saying, there is a great deal of value in that.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would host regular dinner parties in DC at my restaurants with prominent Republicans and Democrats around my table. I would feed them and make them see each other as humans for a minute. Not enough of that is happening in Washington right now and I really think the simple act of eating together (yes, breaking bread if you will), can get people to be open and vulnerable and kind. If our politicians start doing more of this, I think we would be farther ahead than we are and change actually could start to happen.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life? Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I would love to have lunch with Michelle Obama. I feel like we have a lot to talk about.
5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started: “There are a lot of highs and lows and not a lot in between.” with Amy Lacey and Fotis Georgiadis
Perseverance: When describing what it’s like to persevere as an entrepreneur and leader, I like to use the phrase, “There are a lot of highs and lows and not a lot in between.” It’s the best reminder to me to push through the lows because they are temporary! And you must lean on the highs to carry you through the difficult times.” One time that we really had to persevere was during a packaging misprint which is a major issue when dealing with food products. Our loyal customers were very quick to notice that our nutritional facts didn’t line up quite right and we had to move super fast to fix it. We worked so many hours on the issue itself but we also had to focus extra attention on our customers. We sent out a very authentic apology letter and the openness and honesty really helped mend our relationship with a lot of people. Honesty is always the way to go and I think they really appreciated that.
As part of my series about the leadership lesson of accomplished business leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Amy Lacey, the Owner & Founder of Cali’flour Foods. Amy believes that eating healthy should taste as good as it makes you feel. Most people are tired of sacrificing flavor for health, which is why she developed the first no-mess, no-stress cauliflower pizza crust that actually satisfies cravings and nourishes the body.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and wanted to find a way to still enjoy my favorite foods without getting sick. After a lot of testing in my own kitchen, fresh cauliflower proved to be a great substitute for flour, and I eventually landed on a winning recipe for pizza crusts that are not only gluten free and grain free, but taste great!
Can you share your story of Grit and Success? First can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your journey?
In order to be a successful entrepreneur, you must persevere through challenges and turn them into learning opportunities. I had a difficult time starting out, as I was working with a partner whose vision for the company didn’t align with mine. Ultimately, we parted ways and I learned the importance of working with people who are like-minded in values and understand/support my vision.
Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were so hard?
This was a very tough time, as we were just getting started and I didn’t want our momentum to slow down. My drive came from the amazing customers we had and the chance to change even more lives. I’m SO passionate about bringing healthy food to America’s dinner tables. There are millions out there that suffer from autoimmune diseases, diabetes or have critical dietary restrictions, and they are why I do what I do. I am one of them. I know what it’s like to need foods that don’t trigger your body to fight back in ways that run you down. I know what it’s like to want to participate in Friday pizza night with the family. The customer will always be my driving force. I live to serve them. When I am down or overwhelmed, I think of all of the people that are counting on this company. I love to read their encouraging words on social media posts and in my email. I often go back to old voicemails from customers thanking us for what we do. It’s incredibly inspiring!
So, how are things going today? How did Grit lead to your eventual success?
You have to get up every day and live out your mission. No matter how tired, worried or insecure you might be. There hasn’t been one day in the last 3 years where I’ve been stagnant. Every day I have made moves, and, yes, sometimes they have taken me backward. But most often, they have turned into giant leaps forward. I just keep on keeping on, as the saying goes.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When I first started out, I was serving samples at our local farmers market. And I mean thousands of samples. So, in an effort to make things move faster, I stopped measuring. I was moving full steam ahead, adding a pinch of this and a pinch of that. Well, in all of the madness, I accidentally swapped the amounts needed for cheese and eggs. The outcome was a quiche! It was horrible at the time but very funny to look back on now. My family ate a lot of quiche that week and the poor farmers market ended up with only cauliflower rice and zucchini noodles. So many lessons came from this. 1- Work smart, not hard. If I had just slowed down and taken a breath I would have easily caught the mistake before I made it, and I wouldn’t have wasted my time or materials. 2- Perspective is key. All of this happened because I was trying to crank out as much product as possible, and the outcome was NO product at all that week. So sad! I wish I had just taken the perspective that everything would be fine even if I didn’t make as many samples as I had set out to do that day.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Our company stands out for being authentic, real and transparent. We’ve had a lot of people with diabetes write in to us and say that their blood sugars would rise after eating our pizza. We always ask them to take a picture of the packaging of their pizza, even if it means digging it out of the garbage. It is NEVER our product. Marketing can be deceiving, and there are a lot of cauliflower products out there. It’s so important to read the ingredients! This is especially true for a company that’s claiming to be the “healthiest” version of something or that they “sell more than anyone else.” Look at the label. With many of our competitors you will see added sugar, high carbs and fillers, so of course, it will raise blood sugars. Our pizza is made with healthy, simple ingredients. We hate it when people have brand confusion, and so we try our best to educate them as well as we can!
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?
– Do not focus on the money! You should only produce a product that you believe in and that helps others. If you do it for the money, your drive will eventually fizzle. If you do it for the right reasons, however, the passion will carry you through the hard times. The money will eventually follow.
– Lean on your customers and their testimonials to guide you and keep you motivated.
– Never give up and keep pushing through, but allow yourself time to rest. You will burn out if you are exhausted. Make sleep a priority. Make working out a priority. Make eating right a priority. Make spending time with family and friends a priority. Take care of your physical and mental self so that you can keep grinding on!
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
Oh yes! I have advisors and attorneys that have worked tirelessly alongside me in the middle of the night and on weekends. I am so grateful to them. I also have a team that is full of passion, the desire to pay it forward, love for me, the products and their teammates. Having a like-minded team like this has been an amazing blessing and the company would not be so successful without them. With that said, the most important person who has been by my side since the beginning is Jimi, my COO and the soon to be Vice President of Retail Operations. Jimi is the one that prays with me, cries with me, has sacrificed family time, vacations and her own dreams to make this company successful. She is the first one I call at 6am every day with the exception of Sunday. She has traveled the world with me to make this product even better. She has lifted me up and literally been my angel for the last 3 years. Don’t get me wrong, we butt heads and it would not be a true, authentic relationship if we didn’t. But some of our best success has come from doing so and our learning from failures. She is my true partner in this company and I’m forever grateful to her!
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started leading my company” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
Our 5 P’s of success that we now use at Cali’flour Foods.
1- Paying it forward: It’s important to have a humble and giving heart; being other-centered, rather than self-centered. I truly believe that the more you give the more you receive, and I’ve built my business around that mantra. Even when the company was in the negative, we always made sure to find ways to pay it forward, and we continue to do so to this day. Whether it’s through contributing to an employee’s dream charity or a cause that we believe in like the Lupus Foundation, we’re happy to help. It doesn’t always have to be money or material items either. Your time and energy can be so valuable as well. Looking back over the years, the most cherished gift I’ve ever given was donating supplies and money to the Camp Fire evacuees and victims here in California. We spent countless hours cooking up fresh pizzas and welcoming them into our brick and mortar shop. The time spent with them was such a blessing and really quite healing for all of us. The relationships you build are everything. Always pay it forward!
2- Product: I’ve said it many times before that you have to be passionate about your product in order to find the grit it takes to be successful. Building a business isn’t easy, and it’s not always fun. But if you have the determination you’ll keep pushing through to the end. At Cali’flour Foods, we are so proud of the product we have made that we truly want it to be on every dinner table in America. It’s not for the money, but rather because it’s just plain good for you and we want to positively make an impact on lives! We use simple, fresh ingredients that satisfy those with autoimmune disorders, diabetes, dietary restrictions and those wanting to lose weight or simply eat healthier.
3- People: I believe that people and relationships are some of the most precious gifts we have in this life. Surround yourself with those that are like minded to you and build one another up! I love the phrase “stay in your lane.” As soon as you determine that you are not knowledgeable in a certain area, hire someone that excels in this space. Always surround yourself with people that know more than you do. I have done this in my business and it’s one of my favorite things about the group of people I have hired both internally and through external partnerships.
4- Perseverance: When describing what it’s like to persevere as an entrepreneur and leader, I like to use the phrase, “There are a lot of highs and lows and not a lot in between.” It’s the best reminder to me to push through the lows because they are temporary! And you must lean on the highs to carry you through the difficult times.” One time that we really had to persevere was during a packaging misprint which is a major issue when dealing with food products. Our loyal customers were very quick to notice that our nutritional facts didn’t line up quite right and we had to move super fast to fix it. We worked so many hours on the issue itself but we also had to focus extra attention on our customers. We sent out a very authentic apology letter and the openness and honesty really helped mend our relationship with a lot of people. Honesty is always the way to go and I think they really appreciated that.
5- Passion: If you are not 100% passionate about what you are doing, then move on. We are only here for a finite amount of time so there is no reason to waste your time and energy on something you don’t love. You have to believe in yourself and be willing to chase your dreams. I chose to make a message out of my mess and look where it has gotten me!
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’d definitely want to lobby for stricter laws regarding what is allowed in our food. For starters, I would ban the 20% rule that allows companies to be up to 20% off from the true ingredients they list on a label. This is just crazy! Additionally, I’d like to get some of the harmful fillers still used here in the U.S. banned. I believe it’s one of the reasons why we are among the unhealthiest countries in the world, and I also believe that our healthcare system is going to cause economic harm if we don’t act fast and get people eating better.
I would also rally for stricter marketing laws. People are so impressionable; especially these days living in such a digital world. A company shouldn’t be able to make the claim that they’re “the healthiest pizza in America” unless they truly are! That’s why at Cali’flour Foods we want to empower our customers. We encourage them to read labels and look closely at nutritional facts like sugar, carbs and sodium content. With our simple ingredient lists, we allow them to have great insight into exactly what they’re putting into their body. Educating the consumer is key!
How can our readers follow you on social media?
They can follow along with Cali’flour Foods on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter at @califlourfoods! They can also follow my journey at @heyamylacey on Instagram.
Women Of The C-Suite: “There are only two things you can control — your focus and your costs” with Fluxx CEO Madeline Duva
There are only 2 things you can control — your focus and your costs. I have learned this through many startups failures and successes. While I can’t guarantee you success if you do that, I can pretty much guarantee failure if you don’t! When I walked in at Fluxx, I saw that we didn’t have a great handle on costs, so that was one of my first tasks to really look at the budget and how we were spending. I made some changes that had immediate and direct impact on the bottom line and put us in a great position for moving forward.
As a part of my series about strong female leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Madeline Duva. Madeline is CEO of Fluxx, where she drives strategy and mission to elevate the company as a leader in the philanthropic ecosystem. She started her career at Fidelity Investments, and has held senior managerial posts Communication Intelligence Corp, PenOp, Dejima, Revere Data, China MobileSoft and PalmSource. After the successful acquisition by PalmSource of China MobileSoft, where Duva was CEO, she served as mentor, advisor, and/or board member of several startups.
Thank you so much for doing this with us Madeline! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
After grad school I worked at Fidelity Investment. Among other things, I was the project lead on our customer service solution for the phone reps. I approached it from the “customer development” point of view meaning I spent a lot of time with the phone reps to understand how they worked and what they needed to best support the customer.
This was well before I had heard of Steve Blank — who is recognized for developing the Customer Development method that launched the Lean Startup movement. It just made sense to me that the user should be helping me define the product, rather than me dictating the use of something that might not fit their needs. I’ve brought that approach to every job since then.
After successfully selling my previous start up, I set out to spend all of my time mentoring at various incubators here and abroad, as well as advising and investing in startups. Fluxx was one of those startups. I come from a civic-minded family — even with five children or maybe because of that, my mother was on several nonprofit boards and my father was vice mayor of our town. I have been volunteering at the same nonprofit for over eight years. Given what is going on globally and here at home, when the board and founders of Fluxx asked me to step in, I accepted.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
Coming into a company as a new CEO can be a difficult transition for the clients and the team. Luckily, the outgoing CEO at Fluxx was super helpful with that transition, hosting joint calls to some of the top clients and welcoming me into the Fluxx family. And then it was up to me to do the work in order to transform the company from a “product maverick company” to established enterprise. The support of the Fluxx leadership and whole team has been amazing, I certainly couldn’t have done it without them and it is a reminder that the team truly is the company. The product is secondary.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
One of our clients asked to see another clients contract as they have worked closely together over the years. I was shocked and my knee jerk reaction was “are you kidding me?!” I nearly had a heart attack, as that is not the norm in any other industry I have worked in — enterprise or consumer. In fact, in other industries, that would be a breach of confidentiality. I took a few deep breaths and made a life line call to one of the CIOs I had come to know at another foundation. He counseled me to agree, as many foundations work very closely. I learned very quickly how different this sector is from any other sector I have worked in. The level of collaboration is extremely high and should be lauded. And the lesson for me was just to embrace it and go with the flow. It really forced me to think in a new way about my clients and how best to serve them.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Fluxx is a company that cares, as individuals and as a collective. They care about their clients, their team and the world. When there is an issue with a client, the whole team pitches in. If someone is struggling with a tough support ticket or bug, others help. When the issues were escalating on the boarder, everyone pitched in to raise money to get the immigrants help with legal representation — while there was no requirement to give, there was near total participation and everyone was excited we could do something to help, in spite of being so far away.
Fluxx is also part of the Pledge 1%, a program where companies pledge to give 1% of their product, 1% of their time volunteering, 1% or equity and/or 1% of profits. Many of our employees come from foundations and nonprofits, or like me, have been volunteering for many years, so this isn’t a hard pledge to meet!
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
For Grantmaker, our flagship product, we are constantly working on new features and solutions for our Foundation clients. These foundations granted over $7.2B dollars through the Fluxx platform in 2018, and our “fall off a log” number for 2019 is $9B+. We are awed by the amount of giving our clients do.
What I am really excited about, beyond what we are doing for the foundations directly, is the work we’re starting to do for the grantseekers or nonprofits. We, of course, have always touched multiple tens of thousands of nonprofits annually, but we are now building out our Grantseeker platform out to help nonprofits manage the grants they receive. This in turn helps the foundations as we are helping the nonprofits manage that money more effectively and efficiently. On average nonprofits spend 13 percent of the grant money they receive just managing the grant. Our platform helps these nonprofits increase their efficiency so those dollars can go farther. We are also helping them tell the impact of their stories which will ultimately help to increase the money they raise from other sources.
What advice would you give to other female leaders to help their team to thrive?
You have to be focused on empowering your team. You’ve gotten where you are because you are good at what you do, but you must be clear about your north star and enable your team to do their jobs, even in those cases where you think you might be able to do it better. If you don’t give them the opportunity to step up, they often won’t, and the best will become frustrated with the lack of opportunity. But letting them step up means that sometimes they will make mistakes. We all make mistakes, and it’s your job to help them think things through, and if they do make a mistake help learn from it to become better leaders themselves. They only way you can scale is to delegate and help each member of your team be successful.
What advice would you give to other female leaders about the best way to manage a large team?
It all comes back to empowering people — don’t swoop in and criticize them but coach them. Ask questions and show them what to do, rather than telling them what and how to do it. To do these things you need to build relationships via one on ones with each team member, which helps to build trust. Be demanding and focused on the goals, but also give them room and check in often to ensure you are giving them the support they need.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
There wasn’t as much of a culture of mentorship when I was entering my career as there is today. I think that’s why I spend so much time mentoring and participating as a mentor at incubators like the Founder Institute. That being said, the help and mentorship I have had has been invaluable and there are too many to name. In that group are my parents, who were very civic minded — even with five children my mom was on several nonprofit boards and city initiatives, and my father was a councilman and vice mayor. They taught me that there is always time to help others and that we are all created equal.
The other shout out is to Walter Wattles, a prominent insurance executive. I was granted a yearlong fellowship to work at Lloyd’s of London out of college. I will never forget as I was heading to the plane, he looked me in the eye and said, “Your word is your bond. If you don’t know an answer to a question, just say that is a great question and you will get back to them, and then do. There is no gray area here.” It is a simple and obvious axiom, but it has been a great guiding light.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
That is a big question. I can only say that I hope that I bring goodness. I have been very fortunate, and though I have worked hard and had many tough times, I know that I am in a position of privilege. Not just because I am white, but also because of connections and opportunities that others, who are smarter and more accomplished, have not. So, I try to give back not only with money to many causes I care about, but also with my time as a volunteer — I have been volunteering weekly, though now as a CEO again it’s only monthly, at Project Open Hand here in San Francisco. I also have been mentoring at the Founder Institute, Highway One, and “Happy Farm” from Ukraine and now Kazakhstan. I am a connector and love helping those trying to realize their dreams.
What are your “5 Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Experience” and why. (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Your word is your bond — I shared that story earlier.
2. The only thing that can hold you back is fear and not believing in yourself. That came from my father, he always encouraged my sisters, brother and I to try new things and get out of our comfort zone. This helped me greatly when I left Fidelity and joined a small startup out of Stanford Research Institute. We were licensing software to major PC vendors like NCR, Fujitsu, Sony, etc., those cycles were slow so I took a chance and wrote and SDK and created a partner program which afforded us an additional revenue stream while we waded through the larger negotiations with major global players.
3. There are only 2 things you can control — your focus and your costs. I have learned this through many startups failures and successes. While I can’t guarantee you success if you do that, I can pretty much guarantee failure if you don’t! When I walked in at Fluxx, I saw that we didn’t have a great handle on costs, so that was one of my first tasks to really look at the budget and how we were spending. I made some changes that had immediate and direct impact on the bottom line and put us in a great position for moving forward.
4. Everyone has an agenda, and it is not yours. Again, through years of working at and with startups I’ve learned that you have to remember to actively listen. It’s also important to recognize the perspective of the speaker. We all view things through our own lens, so make sure what you are hearing really lands for you, rather than be swayed by a different perspective. But also remember if you hear the same thing repeatedly, pay attention. For example, years ago, a company I was advising was building a destination video site with interstitial ads but had no consumer folks. Everyone (from partners to investors) that we talked to loved the interstitial ads as it was new and no one was doing it. We pivoted to focus on the interstitial ads as the product and as a result were acquired by a major media advertising corporation.
5. Be helpful whenever you can, whether to your benefit or not. I am a connector by nature. I love putting people together and seeing the results. Over the years, these connections have come back to me in surprisingly wonderful ways. From getting help on a chipset issue from someone I helped get relocated to the US many years before; to getting a loan restructured by someone whom I had helped 10 years prior sell a company, thus recouping their investment which was all but lost.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I am not sure I would say I am a person of great influence, but if I could use the influence I have to make a positive change, I would like to create a movement where every individual really took to heart their consumption. I do feel we are making small steps in that direction, but we only have a two ways to vote — at the ballot box and with our dollars. If we could get everyone to pledge to make choices that create the greatest good and least harm, we truly could change the world. A simple way to start would be to focus on packaging — if corporations were responsible for their packaging — and in the future their products — from cradle to grave, we could minimize waste. Policy can help make this happen, but individuals also have power to band together and effect change by making small but important choices every day.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
If you don’t have time to do something right the first time, will you have time to do it over?
I don’t know where I got that, but people who know me well, hear me say it a lot. So often we rush out of fear of being too slow, but I have learned more than once that you have to do the upfront work before you start or you end up going slower in the end trying to fix things that were avoidable. I’ve experienced this at every company I’ve worked at. The fact is, it’s hard to not rush, as sometimes you have exigent demands forcing your hand, but you have to try to carve out the time to think things and products through.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Nancy Lublin. Time and again Nancy has showed what grit is, and as a result she’s has created nonprofit organizations that are not only tackling real issues but also doing so at scale. From Dress for Success, which helps empower women by literally dressing them for success is in over 1,200 cities, to Do Something which has mobilized millions of young people to take part in their communities. And now Crisis Text Line is a global organization that is saving lives every day all over the world via SMS. Her ability to see a problem and scale a solution is beyond so many that are more known or lauded than she is.
Being a former international fashion model and working in front of the camera most of my adult life, my “appearance” is what I depended on to survive financially as well as emotionally. As I age, it’s hard to accept the lines and wrinkles and the last 10 lbs. that never seem to come off! However, having said that, as a former model I also know how much retouching of photos is done for fashion, PR and marketing for clothing lines, cosmetic and advertising companies. It’s so unrealistic for us to be comparing ourselves to that which isn’t even real to begin with.
As a part of my series about “Learning To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Andrea Arlington. Andrea is a Life Coach specializing in Family Recovery from Addiction and Substance Use Disorder. She is a Certified ICF (International Coach Federation), Life Coach, a Certified BALM Family Recovery Coach, a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner. She is a Certified ASR Educator specializing in complementary communication techniques for enhancing intimacy in relationships, a Non-Denominational Minister, Mother, Grandmother and founder of Families United for Recovery, which teaches parents and family members science based, compassionate tools and strategies to become their addicted loved ones, best chance for choosing treatment and/or sustaining recovery. Her education and her company, Families United for Recovery and her LLC, (Love, Leverage and Connection) Method of Family Recovery, came about as a result of her own family experience with Substance Use Disorder which began when she lost her younger brother to IV drug use, had two daughters who were IV heroin users (now six and eight years in recovery) and has been in relationship with multiple men who suffered from Substance-use-disorder and other addictions. As her parents were with her brother Ben, Andrea did not understand what she was dealing with when Alexis and Tess were using, or how to get them to stop. Like so many parents, she thought it was bad behavior, poor choices and moral failure which follow the social stigma surrounding addiction. Her focus was on trying to control the behavior by punishing, withdrawing approval, shaming, blaming, yelling and screaming. Andrea tried to fix the consequences of their, “poor choices” so that things didn’t get worse. But they did get worse, much worse. Andrea felt lost, traumatized, and ashamed and like she was going crazy. Traditional methods of family recovery, letting them hit bottom and detaching felt wrong to her and didn’t work for them. This led her to find and work with several coaches, therapists and mentors. Andrea was hyper focused and determined to become educated, mentored and coached by the best of the best in the recovery and family recovery fields and she did. As a result, she mastered the tools, found compassion for herself, her struggling loved ones and others on the recovery journey and found her own recovery and joy for living after living in her own private, and sometimes not so private hell. Andrea turned the pain of her family’s past into a career focused on being of service to parents and families who want to become their loved ones’ best chance at choosing and sustaining recovery. One of the pivotal ideas in her family recovery coaching and education program comes from the research that shows a loved one has a much better chance at recovery when one or more family members get into recovery themselves. She firmly believes in and emphasizes the power and impact families can have on their loved ones when they first get educated, learn tools that are grounded in science, compassion and love, get the support of people who have walked the path successfully before them and find the support they need in community. Andrea offers free and open to the public weekly live group coaching and education in Malibu, Westlake Village and also a weekly online education and group coaching session on the Zoom platform. It is there that she assists other parents with her program LLC,(Love, Leverage and Connection) Method of Family Recovery, using her experience, education, insight, and passion to provide parents with the tools they need to navigate their own recovery and their loved ones struggle for recovery. Additionally, she offers educational workshops and private coaching for families, teaching them to to become aware, get out of denial, learn strategies and tools to help inspire and to become a catalyst for their loved one to choose treatment and sustain long-term recovery and to live with inner peace and to get calm, regardless of what is happening with their loved one. Andrea works closely with many professionals in the recovery field across the country to assist parents and family members in helping their loved ones recover.Much of the trauma and drama she experienced with her daughters is captured in the 2010 E! Reality show, “Pretty Wild” where her daughters are struggling with IV heroin use and one of her daughters Alexis Neiers was charged with being the lead ring leader of the “Bling Ring”, a group of teenagers who burglarized the homes of celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Orlando Bloom.
Thank you so much for joining us Andrea! Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?
Currently, I’m building my company, “Families United for Recovery” and on building my free and open to the public, Family Recovery group coaching and education program. This program helps family members who have a loved one struggling with Substance Use Disorder (SUD), become their best chance for choosing recovery and also helps the family members themselves, recover their own lives which, who have often been derailed by the trauma and heartache associated with loving someone who is suffering with SUD.
Today in our country, we are losing over 210 people a day to overdose and it simply doesn’t have to be that way. Substance Use Disorder and addiction is a call for connection, a call for help and we are their best chance for choosing it, when we are well educated on how to create an emotionally safe connection with them. My program is offered weekly on both the ZOOM platform and live in Malibu.
Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?
On July 3, 2012 my husband of 11 years, announced that he was done. Done with our marriage. The last four years had been the most trying four years of my life with two of my daughters being addicted to IV heroin, crystal meth, living on the street at times and my family‘s name on the front page of the LA Times in reference to my daughter, Alexis Neiers being arrested and charged with the home burglary of Orlando Bloom of the Bling Ring burglaries.
The constant daily fears of what the future held for Alexis at age 18, facing 6 years in prison, and Tess going from being a prima ballerina who danced with the New York City ballet, to becoming homeless and prostituting herself on the streets of downtown Los Angeles, and our reality show, “Pretty Wild” on E! Entertainment, having shown the dysfunction of our family worldwide on E!, was just too much! All of this made me feel like I couldn’t face life anymore.
I was devastated, felt helpless, hopeless and frightened beyond belief. This all was beyond anything I’d ever experienced in my entire life. I had no relationship with my 3 daughters, had lost contact with my friends and family over the four years that all of these crises were taking place, and I didn’t know if I even felt like life was worth living. It was isolating and agoraphobic.
At that time I reached out to a life coach friend of mine who I hadn’t spoken with for several years. Within a few moments of hearing his voice I was in tears, choking up, and filling him in on all of the details of what my life had felt like over the last several years. I told him I didn’t know if I had any purpose left to my life. It was at that moment that he told me to get out a piece of paper and a pencil and write the following at the top of page, “July 3rd 2018”(even though it was July 3rd 2013, and then, “I Andrea am so happy today, now that my life is…“ He told me to write several pages covering every area of my life, what it would look like five years from then and to write it in the present tense, as if I were living in 2018 at that moment in time. Although at that very second, it seemed like it was something that wouldn’t make much difference, I agreed to do it only because, I didn’t know what else to do.
That began my journey of self-recovery and self-love. Every day, I made a little bit of progress toward getting out of my fear and over time, I found mentors, and educators who helped me begin to see, how the patterns in my thinking and my belief systems had been operating unconsciously and creating unhealthy relationships and experiences with both myself and others. I began to understand the voices in my head weren’t really who I was, and they had kept me so unhappy and in such a place of fear for much of my life.
I begin to write in that future journal, describing the relationship I had with myself, with my imagined partner, the kind of vacations I was taking every year, the lifestyle I had and the vocation that I had, which would allow me to live anywhere in the world I wanted to, and also being able to make a living from my computer. I wrote several pages and then I took them with me to get my car washed and detailed, as I felt like it was the minimum effort I could make to at least clean up some small part of my life. As I sat there, I read and reread the pages. I began to feel hopeful that somehow what I’d written would become my experience in the future.
For the rest of 2013–2015 I buried myself in self-help books, worked with amazing mentors and hired a recovery and relationship coach. I learned about how my belief systems were sabotaging my relationships and happiness in life and how to be in healthier relationships. I learned amazing communication tools that allowed me to feel safe and have emotional intimacy with people. I felt so inspired that I went to school to become a life coach for people who struggled with relationships, got certified in Transactional Analysis which is a program to help people understand the dynamics of the different ego states that we all have and how they impact connection in relationships and impact our own psyche.
Over time I began to get interested in the patterns of addiction that I had experienced from a young age when I lost my brother Ben to IV drug use and then ended up marrying men who suffered from substance use disorder, struggled with it myself, and ended up with daughters who suffered from the same condition. I discovered several programs that helped me learn how to communicate and help my loved ones, who were still suffering from SUD.
My daughter Tess was still using and living on the street and when we applied some of these tools, for the first time in five years and after five different rehabs, she made the decision to kick heroin and crystal meth and got clean on her own. She has been sober almost 6.5 years now.
Making a decision to change, began with writing that five-year future journal. On July 3, 2018, it was five years from when I first wrote that journal entry. To my amazement my life had far exceeded what five years ago I had felt, was almost impossible to achieve.
According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?
Being a former international fashion model and working in front of the camera most of my adult life, my “appearance” is what I depended on to survive financially as well as emotionally. As I age, it’s hard to accept the lines and wrinkles and the last 10 lbs. that never seem to come off! However, having said that, as a former model I also know how much retouching of photos is done for fashion, PR and marketing for clothing lines, cosmetic and advertising companies. It’s so unrealistic for us to be comparing ourselves to that which isn’t even real to begin with.
People get depressed when they compare themselves to these unrealistic images. Additionally, having a lifestyle which allows one to be at the gym 6 days a week and afford all the upkeep it takes to look perfect, (nails, hair and cosmetic procedures) is also very difficult for most of us, when we have jobs, families and relationships to meet the time and financial needs of.
As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?
To truly understand how lovable you really are, one would need to fully grasp their true self. The Self that is behind their heartbeat, that Life energy which is breathing life into them. If you stop and reflect, you will likely be in awe of that Life. When you consider the Life that renews the cells in your body, the heart that pumps gallons of blood through our bodies every minute, the egg and sperm, which when considered further, are no more than a bunch of cells, atoms and molecules… and then they become us as the infant, the child, the adult.
How can we not love and revere that Life that lives in, as and through us? That is who we truly are! When we discover this, we are free to love, honor and cherish ourselves in an epic way. Through acts of self-love and contemplating the above, we fill ourselves up and the overflow pours forth and connects us with others in a healthy, holistic way. Self-love leads us to sharing the best of ourselves with the world in a way that leaves us feeling happy and fulfilled.
Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?
People stay in mediocre relationships for seemingly many reasons but underlying them all, the real reason is because we don’t know who we really are.
Most of us, are living in reaction to the beliefs, thoughts and experiences which we cultivated as young people, living in reaction to our environment, family of origin and society. These beliefs, thoughts and experiences have been handed down through multiple generations of our families and through the society that we grew up in.
They, (mostly unintentionally) programmed us to play roles in relationships and life, that are mostly fear based, and are driven by the projection of others, society and media onto us. These roles or self-identities are not real, they are not authentically who we are. I know this sounds a bit crazy at first, but they therefore, are not even real. The Self many of us identify ourselves to be, is not who we truly are. We continue to stay stuck in the roles and in these relationships, because we are experiencing an identity crisis.
When we don’t love ourselves, (because we don’t actually know the Self that we authentically are and without loving ourselves, we can’t really love anyone else. This is because without loving ourselves first, we don’t have a true understanding of what love is. We think we love others, but it is actually often need, and not love. Often there is a compulsive need for validation and feeling valued by the person we think we actually love, who may be unhealthy for us and we for them. This compulsive need or desire, could almost be considered an addiction, which occurs in unhealthy people and their relationships.
Interestingly, science has proven that there is actually a biochemical equivalent to the emotions we experience when our partner triggers unhealthy reactions in us. Over time, neural pathways form in the brain and the brain releases endorphins and hormones which, over time cause our bodies to literally become addicted to these bio-chemicals. This causes us to actually go through a bio-chemical with-drawl when we try to leave the relationship. This is very similar to someone who is going through with-drawl, from substances.
We would be free to leave unhealthy relationships, and be happy and powerful authentic individuals, living a thriving self-actualized life, if we realized we had been raised by adults, who were not evolved enough to nourish and nurture our individual nature and true being. Rather they expected and projected their beliefs and thoughts onto us as very malleable, little beings and as soon as we see that we can re-parent ourselves and find our authentic self and fall head over heels in love with who we truly are!
When you are in relationship with another person from this authentic self and your partner is living from theirs, there is a healthy connection. My advice? Learn to really know and love your True self whether you’re in a relationship or not. There are many great ways to do this. I encourage multiple approaches including creating a powerful vision for yourself of what you want your life and relationships to look and feel like. I believe one of the best ways to do that is by creating a vision board for yourself so that you can remind yourself of who you are, what you desire, where you are going. Every time you walk by it, it reminds you and acts as a roadmap to keep you focused on taking action to create the life you desire. I also highly recommend a daily meditation practice, communing with Spirit opens our heart, causes us to feel joy and connection to something that is deeply peaceful and sacred.
When we talk about self-love and understanding we don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?
How do the daily actions I take in relationship to each area of my life stand up against what I claim my values to be?
Is how I show up in every area of my life leading me in the direction I want to move toward?
How deeply do I listen to my-Self and my partner?
Am I grateful and thankful for the blessings in my life today?
When my daughter Alexis was sober for a year or so, she called me and said, “Mom if I can get off of Heroin and I’m not even on any antidepressants or any other medication, don’t you think you could quit smoking weed and get off of antidepressants? And I said, “Well I could probably get off of antidepressants”. I wasn’t ready to give up the weed. It wasn’t long after getting off of the antidepressants with the assistance of a doctor detoxing me from them, that I realized the marijuana was actually making me depressed and I quit.
Looking back I realized I had probably been on Anti-depressants for 13 years, simply in order for me to not feel depressed while smoking weed. Thankfully, I don’t use substances anymore to mask my feelings or medicate them away. I am so grateful for the inspiration that has come from Alexis’s recovery and the request she made of me that day.
So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?
Being alone? We are never actually alone! How can we be? We are so much more than our body, our thoughts, and our emotions. There is that within us that make our heart beat hundreds of times a minute, pumping gallon of blood through our veins. Our thoughts change all the time as do our emotions, so we are not them either. We are so much more. The way to be “alone” and be comfortable is to realize we aren’t alone ever. Learn to see and experience the Divine within our self and all of life. Live life in a state of constant wonder. Observe the beauty and the impeccable systems that operate in nature, our planetary system where the planets perfectly orbit around the sun, never crashing into each other. Contemplate these things and then you will know you are never alone. You are connected to everything you see, hear, touch and taste. You are One with the divine wisdom, life and love that has manifest Itself, and all of Its creation!
In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?
As far as individuals go I think I’ve covered that in answers to other questions. Society? That’s a great question. How do we influence the media and its sponsors to not be financially motivated and instead to be motivated by the impact their messages have on our society, our families and us as individuals?
What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?
1. I have a daily gratitude practice where I list at least 3 things I am grateful for and to feel my gratitude more deeply, I list 3 reasons I am grateful for each of them.
2. I’ve written a love letter to myself. To do it I’ve asked:
a. What are things that people admire and appreciate about me?
b. What are things I like and appreciate about myself?
c. What are my greatest achievements?
3. I meditate daily to commune with the Sacred within me, and take a minute several times a day to reconnect with this presence within me. I then often experience being aware of the sacred presence throughout my daily life, in all things and everywhere.
4. I’ve made epic vision boards for creating the life I want for myself.
5. I renew and update my 5-year future journal.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?
Books: “The Family” by Bradshaw — helps us understand the impact our families had on our self-esteem and self-love and how to overcome; “A Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson — teaches us how we are so much more than we have ever considered and how Love is truly guiding us on every area of our lives if we just start to understand how it is working which she teaches in this book; “Braving the Wilderness” by Brene’ Brown — Teaches us how to bond to ourselves and stand in our truth and relate to ourselves and each other; “The Secret of the Ages” by Robert Collier — This book is said to have been the inspiration for the movie, “The Secret”. Read it and you will know the keys to creating the life of your dreams!; “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggrichs teaches us how the masculine and feminine needs are quite different and how we can relate to each other honoring these needs and have healthier more connected relationships
Podcast: “Recovering from Reality” Alexis Haines my daughter hosts the raw and touching new podcast Recovering from Reality. Created to normalize the struggles many people face and provide a platform where guests get real about life’s struggles, these courageous stories of survival provide hope and optimism for those trying to live a more fulfilled life.
Stories of survival deserve to be told with pride. Recovering from Reality is for those who have gone through hell and emerged on the other side. By sharing our journeys like a badge of honor, we can begin to erase stigma, shift the status quo on addiction in our society, and open the door for others to do the same.
A mother, writer, doula, wife, and advocate for mental health, Alexis got sober at nineteen years old after facing up to six years in the correctional system due to addiction. As the former star of the E! reality series Pretty Wild who faced a burglary conviction as a member of the notorious “Bling Ring”, Alexis understands the power of storytelling and media firsthand. As a survivor of the entertainment industry, IV heroin use, eating disorders, rape, physical violence, and childhood sexual trauma, Alexis is continuing her life-long journey of personal recovery by connecting with others and sharing her experiences with the world. Join us on the path of self-reflection and personal growth as we explore the areas of our lives that many stigmatize. It’s time to recover from reality.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…
Commune with Spirit every day through meditation, walking, prayer. Through this you will develop a conscious connection with the God of your understanding. The power of this connection is the Secret to living a happy, healthy, thriving life. Once you’ve tapped in to this Spirit, you won’t want to miss connecting at least once, if not multiple times throughout the day. You will begin to feel connected to the same Spirit in others and in Nature. This is a life giving and Sacred feeling.
It is essentially the idea behind the ancient Sanskrit greeting, “Namaste’” which is still in everyday use in India. Translated roughly, it means “I bow to the God within you”, or “The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you” — a knowing that we are all made from the same One Divine Consciousness.
Acknowledge Its presence throughout the day. This is Spirit is the Divine Individualized as you and as All, expressing Itself individually in, as and through All of Its creation.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin.
It resonates with me because, in my experience, having lived a limited life, based in fear of not being lovable, not living up to others expectations, not speaking my truth for fear of rejection, self-medicating with substances so as to dull my fear and in order to feel safe, never being who I authentically was. This is what “to remain tight in a bud” represents to me.
When I finally reached the excruciating pain of my emotional bottom in 2013 and then began my journey of authentic self-discovery, taking a deep dive into spiritual practices, giving up my self-medicating, reaching out to others for support, mentorship and connection, I began to blossom and fell in love with myself, my life, and life as a whole.
Throughout our lives so many of us do what’s familiar even though it may no longer serve its original purpose in our lives. In doing so, we can get caught up in patterns and in experiences in life that don’t serve us, that don’t allow us to really blossom into the person we are capable of being, not just for ourselves, but for our families and our communities and the greater good of our world.
Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!
“I believe that ‘drive’ already exists within every entrepreneur” with Chris Roebuck and Fotis Georgiadis
Starting a company is never easy. As someone who’s found the courage to do so, I believe that ‘drive’ already exists within every entrepreneur. In business and life itself, you’re going to go through highs and lows. In order to go forth, I think back to some of the best advice I have ever received, which is “don’t be afraid to fail quick.” Failure is inevitable, you just need to turn failures into areas of opportunity for learning and growth.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Chris Roebuck, CEO of Detroit-based Clicktivated Inc. Chris has been a member of the business and technology communities for over a decade. After graduating from Michigan State University in 2006 with a BA in Advertising, Chris began his career working for BBDO’s media group, PhD. Chris spent several years creating and growing small business before he created Clicktivated’s interactive video solution, which is his largest venture to date. The company quickly set out to solve the growing challenge of monetizing video and creating a solution that allows viewers to gain instant information on products and access to purchase simply by clicking on items as they watch. Clicktivated’s “consumer first” mindset has played a pivotal role in every aspect of the company, and remains the primary reason why it is a leader in the interactive/shoppable video industry. Despite the exponential growth in demand for online video technologies, Clicktivated remains the one company in the industry that sets itself apart with its highly effective and user-friendly software and IP. As Clicktivated’s CEO, Chris remains the leader of the company, and the main driver behind the substantial growth the company has seen.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Graduating with a degree in Advertising from Michigan State University, my first job out of college was at an ad agency in Detroit. After a few years in the advertising world, I realized I could not stop thinking about all of the opportunities that were available to improve the marketing world. This is when I decided it was time to go off on my own entrepreneurial path. A couple of years in, and a number of ideas later, I identified what I still believe today is the most important tool in marketing: directly connecting consumers to products and information straight from video, AKA shoppable video. I personally have experienced so much frustration with never being able to find products that I had just seen in a video, so I knew video monetization opportunities were going to expand beyond just pre-roll and banner ads.
Can you share your story of Grit and Success? First can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your journey?
I wish being an entrepreneur was as glamorous as it is on TV: Come up with a concept, raise millions, hire hundreds of employees and sell for a $1b+ all within 1 or 2 years! Although I wish that were the case, being an entrepreneur is unbelievably tough and I think you need to be wired a certain way to handle all the ups and downs of the daily emotional roller coaster.
When I started the company, the challenge of landing on what the consumer facing product should look like was enormous. All entrepreneurs are perfectionists and meticulous about every little detail of their business; if you are not, you will most likely fail. Going through dozens of concepts and countless prototypes was difficult, since I was wary about making the wrong decision and sick to my stomach at the idea of launching something less than perfect. My head spun even more combining these anxieties with all different types of feedback from the outside world. Although at the same time, this experience was an eye opener, as it quickly taught me that if you are always tweaking your product you never end up making it to the market! It’s OK to make mistakes, but make them fast, quickly learn from them, improve and move forward!
Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were so hard?
Starting a company is never easy. As someone who’s found the courage to do so, I believe that ‘drive’ already exists within every entrepreneur. In business and life itself, you’re going to go through highs and lows. In order to go forth, I think back to some of the best advice I have ever received, which is “don’t be afraid to fail quick.” Failure is inevitable, you just need to turn failures into areas of opportunity for learning and growth.
So, how are things going today? How did Grit lead to your eventual success?
To me, everyone’s definition of success is different. Knowing I have a great team backing me, an amazing product and support system that has helped me along the way is truly something I could not be more grateful for. Today, I could not be more proud of how far Clicktivated has come and I’m excited to see where we’re heading for the future.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I would say the funniest mistake I made was thinking the journey wasn’t going to be that tough, because we had an amazing piece of technology that would sell itself! I quickly found out that wasn’t the case: even great products never just sell themselves. This required me to quickly adjust my original way of thinking and better understand what was really going on in the market. Although I wish things would just sell themselves, I’m glad this forced me to evolve and grow quickly.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
As today’s digital world is ever changing, being able to stand out is something we are constantly thinking about. We make sure to understand the benefits of what everyone else in our industry is offering, then tailor our product to see what we can do better. We are always looking at what our customers see as valuable, and facilitating the ability to easily access any product or information within video and provide a solution that is of interest to them is something we are passionate about.
I believe Clicktivated stands out not only because we have an amazing product/technology, but because we treat everyone equally and with respect. It’s a simple concept, but it’s hard to build into your core culture. It has helped us open doors we could have never imagined. I say this a lot, but just be nice and listen: if you don’t, you will never be able to sell anything.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?
I have learned so much during my time in this industry, and know that there is still so much more I am going to learn in the future. One of the best tips I can give to my colleagues in this industry is to rely on your team and make sure that trust is established between each other. It’s no surprise that within any industry you are going to go through ups and downs, but being able to go through everything with a strong team is the key to thriving.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
There are quite a few people along the way that have helped my company get to the point it is today. We have an amazing and diverse set of advisors who are always willing to do anything for us. Specifically, my dad has been an incredible help along the way. Being able to leverage his 40+ years as a successful entrepreneur has been invaluable and special to me personally.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
From our inception, we’ve always had a “customer first” mindset. Through this, we cater our offerings to their wants and needs. This allows for us to better understand them and make sure we’re always delivering a solution that will be useful and valuable to our audience.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 pieces of advice about how one can develop Grit? (Please share a story or example for each)
1. Never stop chasing “it”: The more you succeed, (whether that’s landing a deal, closing an investment or just a development milestone), the more you want it, which I find to be the best motivator.
2. Don’t be afraid to fail: Everyone will fail at some point, but it’s how you react after that counts. Use it as motivation to do better next time and make sure to learn from every experience.
3. Try to understand different types of individuals: The more personalities you learn how to deal with, the more you will be able to accomplish.
4. “Grind it out”: Times will get tough, but don’t dwell on the negative, stay positive and keep moving forward.
5. Stay the course: It’s easy to give up or give in when things aren’t going your way. But the only way to develop grit is to keep your head up, stay positive and keep going!
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Personally, I’ve always cared about how people treat each other both online and in person; it’s a value that expanded into the way I run my company as well. Especially as we operate in the online space, it’s easy to see how negativity can be spread so quickly over the internet and impact people’s lives. What would be most helpful is to start a movement to inspire positivity, kindness, and compassion instead of hate.
Alcoholism is considered to be a disease of loneliness, but I think it’s true for most kinds of addiction. Lack of meaningful connection can be very painful and hard to bear, and Western culture offers all kind of drugs that soothe this pain in the short term and make things a whole lot worse for individuals, families and society in the long term. It’s hard to overstate the negative health impacts of addiction. If we had less loneliness and more meaningful connection, we’d have less need for this kind of soothing, and healthier individuals and communities.
As a part of my interview series about the ‘5 Things We Can Each Do Help Solve The Loneliness Epidemic’ I had the pleasure to interview Rachel Davies. Rachel Davies is a communication coach and mindfulness-based hypnotherapist. With a broad training in the healing arts, including a few years at the innovative Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA, and a previous two decades winning awards as a writer and director in the New Zealand film industry, the depth, richness and diversity of Davies’ experience allows her to offer a wealth of grounded, practical support to her clients, along with a genuine kindness and sense of humour.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
I’d been working as a filmmaker and director for a couple of decades in New Zealand and was burnt out. Film is a high pressure environment, plus NZ wasn’t funding any female directors or writers at the time — there’d been a decade long drought in their funding of women, and I was feeling frustrated. I’d won a green card in the US Diversity Lottery, but didn’t know where in the US I’d want to live. At the time, I was doing Bioenergetic Psychotherapy and learned that Alexander Lowen, who invented Bioenergetics, had spent time at the Esalen Institute. On researching Esalen, I fell in love with the wild, forward-thinking, humanistic work that was happening there, applied to their work scholar program, packed my bags and said goodbye to my pals. My mother was scared that it was a weird cult, so we made a secret code word I could say on the phone if I was in trouble, and she insisted that I carry $200 cash in my wallet at all times in case I needed to go stand in the middle of State Highway 1 and wave down a taxi. Fortunately it was a very sane, grounded, extremely fun place where I learned a great deal. Jean Morrison was teaching non-violent communication there and what she taught me changed my life.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Everything that happens at Esalen is interesting. A day there is like a week in the normal world, it’s so jam packed with life. Like you might be sitting on the lawn out the front, with the jaw-dropping majesty of Big Sur and the Pacific Ocean stretching out before you. And perhaps you’re doing a check in before starting your shift in the kitchen, because hearing what’s up with everyone is part of the fabric of Esalen life and the connection that’s built into it. And all around you on the lawn, perhaps there are blindfolded people trying to walk, stumbling and laughing, because they’re doing a Joseph Campbell workshop and are removing one of their senses as an experiment. But instead of this, you’re focused on listening to this incredible woman who you’ve been working alongside in the kitchen this last week who has come to be a work scholar for the month after her husband’s suicide. And perhaps she’s sharing some revelation she had in class or while doing the dishes yesterday, and it’s the most beautiful, tender thing you ever heard. That’s three minutes of a typical day at the Esalen Institute.
Can you share a story about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting?
They say that you can’t make anybody do anything against their moral code while under hypnosis. When I was starting I wanted to test this out. I had my boyfriend hypnotised, deep down in trance. So I said to him, “And you’ll notice that you want to pick your socks up off the floor, it’s so easy for you to keep things tidy. And you love to vacuum…” He opened his eyes immediately and just looked at me shaking his head.
Can you tell us what lesson or takeaway you learned from that?
That vacuuming and picking up his socks are against my boyfriend’s moral code! And that’s its true, hypnotherapy is very protective — people won’t do things they don’t want to do in trance states.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Right now I’m working with high functioning, corporate teams operating at the top of their game to support them to make fine-tuning, ultra-success tweaks to fully maximise their teamwork, trust, connection and psychological safety. A great team can do pretty much anything. For me, the more that innovators and cutting-edge business understands and genuinely practices these collaborative communication tools, the more the tools will flow into everyday life. If there’s plenty of high-quality listening and mutual understanding in business, there’s more likely to be plenty of high-quality listening and mutual understanding in families, on the streets, in relationships, in classrooms etc.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
Human connection and connection to the life energy is at the heart of non-violent communication (NVC) as well as much of the healing arts. I’ve been studying and practicing NVC and the healing arts for a decade now, and have been using it and testing it out on all aspects of my life. It’s made a huge difference to everything, but most of all in changing my feelings of loneliness. I have great tools for genuinely connecting to other people now and it supports me so much. I wish I had been taught these tools at school, I would have had so much more happiness and the ability to navigate difficult situations better. My expertise comes from years of study, practice, and real, lived experience road testing all of this stuff.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
Alcoholism is considered to be a disease of loneliness, but I think it’s true for most kinds of addiction. Lack of meaningful connection can be very painful and hard to bear, and Western culture offers all kind of drugs that soothe this pain in the short term and make things a whole lot worse for individuals, families and society in the long term. It’s hard to overstate the negative health impacts of addiction. If we had less loneliness and more meaningful connection, we’d have less need for this kind of soothing, and healthier individuals and communities.
A second aspect is that being able to genuinely connect with others often gives us better ideas, more opportunities and more potential for growth. There’s a loss of human potential associated with loneliness. People and societies flourish when they collaborate, hear each other and value everyones contribution.
In addition, loneliness can lead to depression, stress, anxiety, negative thought patterns, unkindness to the self, feelings of lack of worth and much more. There’s a large body of scientific evidence that shows that stress and anxiety contribute to negative physical health outcomes, like lowering of immune function and various chronic conditions. I see this in my own work also, particularly while supporting clients to heal injuries. In this work we examine any self talk or beliefs that might be preventing their natural healing, and it’s often surprising what’s there.
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
There’s violence that comes from lack of understanding and connection to others; there’s the devastating, far-reaching impacts of addiction; and the harm that comes from minimizing our potential by not having everyone’s voice at the table.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this? Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
Social media can be connecting but not necessarily in a high-quality, meaningful or real way. And sometimes it can be very toxic. For me, there’s a particular hollow loneliness I feel scrolling down my Facebook feed that could use a word all of its own, and I hear my friends and clients describe a similar loneliness. My Facebook feed is like a luke warm bath — not cold enough to get out of just yet, but not hot enough to be actually good. And when I finally get out, I find that I’ve wasted hours, feel yukky, and can’t remember what I was doing in the first place.
We used to have to make friendships and connect with our neighbors because we needed their support in practical ways. Now it’s possible to be very self sufficient. A person can live alone, get everything they need delivered to their door, drive alone to work, or work alone at home, and there’s not much necessity for real life interaction or vulnerability. It’s easier to order a cup of sugar from Amazon that to knock on a neighbors door and ask. This is a very lonely place to be.
Further, in consumeristic cultures, people often want to appear successful, fashionable, popular and all of that, so we don’t get to see under the mask very much. If we did, we’d see that everyone is having a hard time with something most of the time. Life can be very difficult and painful for everyone. I don’t know why we insist on pretending that it’s not. But this pretending can be a catalyst for a lot of loneliness, because people feel pain, look to see if others feel it, and are met with perfect, icy cold exteriors.
Also, most people don’t know how to actually listen to another person. They make it about themselves, about trying to fix or distract or entertain the other person, even if their intention is to actually help and care. In the West, people just aren’t taught how to do this basic thing, to actually listen. And for me, this is also a catalyst for great loneliness.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
Listen to yourself. Slow down. What’s going on with you right now? As you notice what it is, please don’t change a thing, just make space for it to be ok for you to be feeling whatever you’re feeling. Let it be ok for you to be however you are. Right there is Step One, you’re connecting with yourself and not trying to make yourself any different from how you are. That’s self acceptance and self connection. When we’re self connected, we feel less lonely inside and we’re also in a much better position to have quality connection with others, because we already have it with ourselves. Like my teacher says, “You can’t give what you haven’t got“.
What’s important to you? Now take this self-understanding deeper. You’ve noticed what you’re feeling, but what are you needing? What’s important to you underneath that feeling? What matters to you? Is it a longing for more ease perhaps? Or acknowledgement? To be seen and heard? Safety? Adventure? Fun? Autonomy? Security? At the heart of NVC is the concept that everything someone does is an attempt to meet a human need. And on the level of human needs — which is our common ground, there is no conflict. We all love and want the same stuff, we just have different ways of trying to get it. Once you know what you need, you have a much better chance of communicating this need to yourself and others and connecting.
Listen to others, make it all about them. Next time someone is talking to you, just put your attention and presence on them, stay quiet and listen with your being. No fixing, helping, thinking about what you’re going to say next. Just stay with them. In a workshop once, we practiced this kind of listening in pairs for two minutes each. At the end a man said, “I’d read about this kind of listening in Marshall Rosenberg’s book (Rosenberg developed NVC) and I thought it would be good, but I didn’t know it would be this good” and his eyes started shining with tears. The whole room felt it, how precious this gift of actually listening to one another is. It’s the heart of connection and the ultimate cure for the loneliness epidemic.
Reflect the other person, let them know you hear them. When it comes time for you to say something, let them know you heard them. Slow it down, and tell them what you heard, especially what you heard matters to them. The need is the most important part to reflect back, because that’s at the heart of things. You could give them a reflection, like “I’m hearing you wanting a bit more space for yourself?” Is that it?” And stay curious. It doesn’t matter if you guess correct, it matters that you’re guessing at all, that you’re curious about what’s going on for them and wanting to help them deepen into more understanding about themselves and what’s important to them. There! You’re doing it! Real listening!
You can ask for a reflection too. When you are talking to someone about something important, you might like to ask for a reflection for yourself too, to receive this quality of connection in return. It’s like asking “Do you know what I mean?”, only a little more precisely and effectively. You might say (and this is a lot of words, but hopefully you’ll get the gist), “I really want to make sure we’re understanding each other. Would you be willing to tell me what you’re getting from what I’m saying, so I know if we’re on the same page?” You’re asking them to hear you, not in a mechanical this-is-the-information-you-imparted way, but to actually get you as a human. You’re wanting them to hear what’s important to you, the common ground that you both stand on. It’s always amazing to me when I ask for a reflection, what a person actually does get from what I’m saying. I might say, “I love having a clean house”, and my boyfriend might hear “I’m in trouble again because I left my socks on the floor.” It can be very useful to make sure you’re both understanding each other properly before trying to find solutions, then at least you’ll be talking about the same thing and will hence have more chance of success.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
It might be a Real Listening Movement. Gee, wouldn’t that be cool if we all actually heard each other all the time, rather than just thinking we do? It could change the world.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Don’t put your phone down, put it away. Multiple studies have shown that the sight of a phone or computer, even in our peripheral vision, is very distracting to the brain. One study demonstrated that people who talked to each other while a phone sat on the table near them, even if that phone didn’t ring or make noise, were more likely to think the other person was untrustworthy and unempathetic. The sight of your phone is having an impact on your mind, so put it out of sight.
As a part of my interview series about the ‘5 Things We Can Each Do Help Solve The Loneliness Epidemic’ I had the pleasure to interview Celeste Headlee. Celeste is an award-winning journalist, professional speaker and best-selling author of We Need To Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter and the upcoming Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving (March 2020, Harmony.) She is co-host of the new weekly series Retro Report on PBS and season three of the Scene on Radio podcast — MEN. Celeste serves as an advisory board member for Procon.org and The Listen First Project. Her TEDx Talk sharing 10 ways to have a better conversation has over 23 million total views to date.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice? I was a professional opera singer who started doing radio as a day job. 20 years later, I’ve hosted national talk shows for NPR and PRI, and been on the BBC, CNN, PBS, NBC and a number of other networks. After all those years of interviewing all kinds of people, I did a TEDx talk in 2015 about how to have better conversations. That talk now has more than 23 million views, which tells me that the need for better conversation is felt globally. I wrote a book on the subject and now deliver keynotes and lead workshops worldwide, for companies like Apple, Google, United Airlines, BASF, Chobani, and Oracle, along with universities and non-profits.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
That’s asking a lot. Journalism takes you to a lot of interesting places. One of the stories I like to tell is about covering a strike at General Motors in 2007. I arrived at the plant early in the morning and stood outside the gates waiting to talk to workers, but the police showed up and told me that if I stopped moving, they would ticket me for loitering and I had to carry my 35-pound equipment bag the whole time because otherwise it would be considered abandoned property. I did a number of updates for various NPR shows that day and as the day goes on, you hear my voice get more and more exhausted. By the time I was being interviewed for All Things Considered, I sound like I’m ready to pass out. It wasn’t fun at the time, but the memory makes me smile now.
Can you share a story about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson or takeaway you learned from that?
I was working on a story about goose-chasing dogs. Essentially, border collies were being trained to frighten Canada geese away from golf courses and parks, so that they didn’t leave a mess. (Canada geese are protected, but leave behind a whole lot of blackish-green poop.) I thought this would be a perfect radio story. I could get the sound of the geese honking and the dogs barking and lots of commotion that would make for great audio. When I finally set up a recording session and got to see the dog work, I was dismayed to find out that the collies didn’t bark at all. They frightened the birds with their intimidating stare and menacing (but silent) prowl. Frustrated, I traveled to a golf course that was also reportedly using the dogs, but arrived and discovered they were using plastic statues made to look like border collies. It was ridiculous. Not to mention that, when I hauled my equipment to a lake to get sound of Canada geese, I was chased and nearly attacked by an enormous swan. I got the story done, but it was not quite as I dreamed it would be.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My new book comes out in March of 2020. It’s called, “Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving.” It’s about our obsession with productivity and efficiency, how that obsession started in the workplace but has now infiltrated our homes and personal relationships, and how it has become toxic. I hope I can help people recognize the unhealthy habits they are pursuing and realize that those habits often make them unhappy, unhealthy, and less productive.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
My research on loneliness came out of my research on conversation. Even a short 5–10 minute chat with another person can help relieve the symptoms of loneliness, so I’ve been very interested to understand why so many people consciously avoid conversations.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
1. First, we have solid research showing that being part of a healthy social group strengthens your immune system. Women with strong social networks are four times more likely to survive breast cancer, for example, than those who are isolated. Tests even show that wounds heal faster if you’re part of a healthy relationship at home.
2. Second, loneliness may not directly cause death, but it can lead to a shortened lifespan. Neuroscientist John Cacioppo said that isolation “leaves a loneliness imprint” on every cell in your body.
3. Finally, belongingness is a primal need for human beings. It is essential for our health. The primatologist Frans de Waal told me that survival without a group is hard for any animal and especially humans. To our animal brains, social isolation equates to increased risk of death.
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
Loneliness can be self-perpetuating. When you are lonely, your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode; it takes emergency measures. If you feel lonely, you are more likely to be cautious in social settings and to be defensive, since you are trying to protect your system from further injury that might be caused by a bad interaction. Ironically, that increases the chances that social interactions will be negative and possibly hostile, and that makes you feel more lonely. Rinse and repeat. Because we are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness, our communities are replete with people who are feeling suspicious of others. They are avoiding contact with friends and neighbors and the fabric of our communities is unraveling.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this? Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
We avoid conversations for a few reasons. The first is fear. Researchers have discovered that, even if most of our exchanges with others are positive, we are still afraid that a conversation MIGHT go bad. One scientist spent a year analyzing conversations between strangers and friends and colleagues and she discovered something important: people like you more than you think. People enjoy your company more than you think. It’s very common for people to think they are awkward in social situations, but research shows most people laugh and smile and take turns and gesture naturally. Good communication is a human being’s evolutionary superpower. You may not realize it, but you know how to do this. No need to be afraid.
We also sometimes avoid these interactions because we think email is more efficient. That’s rarely true. Email is often a time waster and very prone to miscommunication. Research also shows we are more likely to escalate conflict in email than over the phone.
There are a few more reasons that we are reluctant to engage others socially, all of them backed up by solid research. One: conversations can seem shallow. While you have a rich inner dialogue going on, we are much more polite and careful about what we say to others, so conversations rarely reveal our true feelings. Also, engaging someone else in conversation raises fears of rejection. What if you show interest in someone else but they aren’t interested in you?
Finally, conversations are challenging to your brain. That’s one of the reasons they’re so beneficial, but also they can wear you out.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
Start small. I always recommend talking to the cashiers and baristas and ride share drivers you encounter every day, partly because those conversations will be short, so you don’t have to fear getting stuck in an awkward exchange. Also, most service people are trained to be nice in conversation. So, there’s very little risk of a hostile interaction. Those short chats can have a big impact on your brain and your sense of well-being. One study showed that after a 10-minute conversation, most people perform better on a variety of cognitive tests. Chats on the phone or in person can also boost your serotonin levels, which will lift your mood.
Also, stop cutting people out of your life because you disagree on politics or religion or something else. It’s not only possible but quite healthy to maintain relationships with people whose views diverge from your own. Limiting our social circles to only those people who agree with us is one cause of our loneliness.
Next, use your phone as a phone. Text is simply no replacement for the human voice. Hearing a human voice has a special effect on the brain and the sound of a voice conveys all kinds of meaning to the person listening. We are evolutionarily primed to respond to other people that we see and hear. If you’re walking down the street and someone makes eye contact and smiles, even that small gesture can increase your sense of belonging. Spending time with other humans is very good for you, as long as you’re not simply sitting there staring at your phone.
And that leads to the last suggestion I have: don’t put your phone down, put it away. Multiple studies have shown that the sight of a phone or computer, even in our peripheral vision, is very distracting to the brain. One study demonstrated that people who talked to each other while a phone sat on the table near them, even if that phone didn’t ring or make noise, were more likely to think the other person was untrustworthy and unempathetic. The sight of your phone is having an impact on your mind, so put it out of sight.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’d like to get people to start scheduling social time the way they schedule hot yoga or cross fit. You can survive without intense exercise (although you’ll be healthier if you do it), but you can’t survive without social interaction. Social media is not a replacement for a conversation; it simply doesn’t have the same benefits for your physical and emotional health. I’d love to set aside a corner in every coffee shop in the world just for people who want to sit and chat for a little while. Maybe have a circle of benches in every public park.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Probably Amy Poehler. Her memoir was the best I’ve ever read and I’ve read a LOT of memoirs. I admire the heck out of her.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
I have a blog at my website, celesteheadlee.com, and post often on Twitter (@CelesteHeadlee) and Instagram (@Celeste.Headlee)
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
I also believe that in our society we have a desire to achieve financial success and buy into the idea that one can achieve wealth as a path to happiness. We ascribe to the requirements of achievement through sacrifices of one’s personal time, showing ambitious dedication to one’s employer, and providing immediate responses of calls to action. As a result, we have less time and energy to dedicate to our personal relationships and are often unwittingly making choices between our personal relationships and our business success. As the years of duty pile up, so do the years we have not been able to be emotionally present to creating lasting and connected personal relationships.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dana McNeil. Dana is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and is the founder of a group practice called The Relationship Place located in San Diego, California. Dana’s practice specializes in couples’ therapy and utilizes an evidence-based type of couples’ therapy which is known as the Gottman Method. Dana’s practice works with all types of relationship issues from pre-marital counseling, dealing with the aftermath of extra marital affairs, partners working through addiction recovery, military deployed families, parents of special needs children, LGBTQ, and polyamorous clients. Dana has been featured in publications such as the Business Insider, Authority Magazine, Eat This-Not That, and Oprah Living.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
Two experiences compelled me to enter the therapy profession. The first was my former job as a property insurance adjuster helping people after natural disasters. The second was the amazingly helpful pre-marital relationship work I did with my husband before our marriage.
My early career consisted of working for a large insurance company as a property damage claims adjuster. Part of my job was to travel to affected areas of the country in the wake of catastrophes such as hurricanes, floods, and tornados to provide on-the-ground assistance to clients whose homes had experienced damage.
As you can imagine, these clients were traumatized by their experiences. They were often in shock, and some experienced guilt about having survived when so many in their community hadn’t.
Many of them also didn’t have access to mental health care.
I soon realized that before I could settle their insurance claims, I would need to provide my clients with support and empathy so they could process their shock and be able to participate in meaningful conversations with me about their property claims.
I found a great sense of purpose in listening to and validating my clients’ experiences as they shared how they had survived their trauma. I saw how helpful it was to them to debrief their feelings.
Before we were married, my husband and I had a long-distance relationship. Because of the challenges of being so far apart, we sought pre-marital counseling.
I knew that regardless of how much I loved my husband-to-be, we were going to face communication challenges, differing expectations, and conflict. I wanted to ensure our marriage got off to a strong start.
I researched the best evidence-based couples therapy methods and fell in love with the Gottman Method because it’s an easy-to-understand and structured method that teaches effective and simple communication skills that build upon one another.
I was also pleased that I could enhance my relationships with everyone in my life by using these skills.
I couldn’t find a local Gottman Method therapist who was taking clients, so we bought Gottman’s “The Seven Principles” book and Skyped with each other every Sunday as we worked through the couples exercises together.
We learned invaluable communication tools that helped us be better partners and we still use them in our relationship today.
I believe firmly in the Gottman relationship method and have found it to be highly valuable not only for myself but also for the clients I work with in my relationship and couples counseling practice.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I was recently seeing a couple who came in to seek counseling as the result of an unwanted pregnancy.
The partners had not been dating each other long and the male in the relationship did not believe his partner was actually pregnant. He seemed convinced she was fabricating her pregnancy to keep him in the relationship. The pregnant client produced a sonogram as evidence to her partner.
He somehow was able to determine that the sonogram was faked and been created on a website where doctored sonograms can be purchased from a foreign country. He produced the website information and copies of similar sonograms he been able to find on the internet from this sonogram-making company.
I don’t know if it is the most interesting story of my career, but it was certainly surprising to be involved in the session where he confronted her with his evidence about the doctored sonogram. It was extremely awkward for all of us, and I felt so bad for both of my clients because they were both in so much pain. It was also fascinating to me because I had no idea such a thing would have a market or that anyone would consider the need to research if it was real.
Can you share a story about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson or takeaway you learned from that?
Being human, I make at least one mistake a day, and the best gift is when I can find the humor in it.
One of the most humorous mistakes I made as a green therapist was freaking out when a cockroach ran across my shoe during a session. I was working as an intern at a non-profit organization that didn’t even have the funding for my clients and me to have office space to meet for sessions. My clients were in long-term residential care for substance abuse recovery, and many had lived very difficult lives being homeless and living on the street prior to coming to stay at the recovery home.
In the hopes of finding some privacy, my clients and I would meet in the breezeway outside of an elevator hallway that connected two buildings.
One day, as I was trying my best to convey to my client that I could relate to their difficult living conditions and portray myself as “worldly” in the ways of street life, a large cockroach crawled across my open-toed shoe.
It quickly became apparent to my client and myself that I am not a person who was accustomed to dealing with the creatures my client likely had to face on a nightly basis.
My lesson from that experience is that I don’t fake or embellish that my life experiences or imply that my privileges are not different than a client if that is the truth. I am myself with my clients, and I don’t apologize for having led a different life.
What I do hope to convey to my clients is that they are the experts of their life and I am a safe place to talk about what it was like for them to have survived it. I will provide my clients support and empathy and be free of judgment.
While my clients may be experts on their own lives, I learned to let them know that I as a therapist am an expert on coping skills and techniques to help them avoid relapse. I let them know that I didn’t need to have mirrored every aspect of what they had been through in life in order to help give them tools to make their lives better moving forward.
It was an important lesson to learn early in my career and one I have carried with me working with every client population.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I am currently part of a nationwide show for Cox Communications called “I Do”. It is a show being produced for newly engaged couples that aims to talk about more than just the dresses and flowers involved in the act of getting married.
I will be talking about and providing tips on some topics that I introduce in my pre-marital sessions with clients. We will be sharing with the audience how to have healthy couples communication, normalizing that conflict happens, and talking about issues such as money and children that many couples either don’t know how to or don’t want to talk about prior to their wedding.
I hope it will help new couples see that pre-marital counseling is preventative maintenance for the relationship. We all feel the glow when we are new in the relationship and everything feels fresh. Preparing for the inevitable hard times that will hit your relationship in the form of sickness, co-parenting, financial issues, or feeling disconnected emotionally from your partner is one of the goals that I have in working on the project.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
As a couples therapist it would seem that I wouldn’t see many clients who experience loneliness, and unfortunately it is just the opposite.
The average couple waits six years before they go therapy, and during those difficult times there is a great likelihood that the partners have become emotionally disconnected.
One of the hardest things to see in my practice is a couple who can be sitting in the same room together and still feel lonely.
I would also say that the time right after a couple breaks up can be an unbearable kind of loneliness. The world feels different like a light has been turned off, and the act of learning how to go from being a “we” to a “me” can be an excruciatingly lonely time.
Many people come to therapy because they are lonely and don’t have a strong support system to talk about their problems and worries with. Therapy can offer a safe place to process some of the disconnect and human connections we may be missing from our lives.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
The article in Forbes contained numbers that are shocking but also unfortunately represent what I see being represented in the client populations we work with.
One of the main reasons for concern is due to the links we are seeing between loneliness and increased symptoms of clinical depression. When someone is depressed, they tend to isolate themselves and perseverate on their problems over and over without relief or perspective. This pattern can lead to a mindset where a depressed person starts to doubt their value or purpose in the world, and it inevitably may lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
A second concern involves the likelihood of a person who is lonely or disconnected from others to turn to substances such as alcohol or drugs as an escape from the emotions of sadness. When used on a regular basis to manage uncomfortable emotions, a habit can quickly become an addiction or worse lead to overdose.
Lastly, a person who is ill or is experiencing side effects from an illness or medication reaction won’t have anyone in their daily life to notice slowly declining cognitive changes or react to sudden physical symptoms that require medical attention.
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
We are becoming an incredibly emotionally disconnected society and are losing our ability to be empathetic with others.
I see clients on a regular basis who text their married partners with criticism instead of speaking to them and asking for their needs. I see partners break up decade-long relationships by email so they can avoid having to deal with the partner’s tears or emotional reactions.
In my opinion, Western culture shapes a societal viewpoint that focuses on individual needs and in the process excludes or ignores the needs of the community leading to disconnect and emotional distance.
While the need exists to identify and express one’s individual desires and set healthy boundaries, these events don’t have to be mutually exclusive of acknowledging and validating that others have differing opinions or views on a topic.
Some of the ways in which we try and inoculate ourselves from dissenting thoughts or opinions may initially feel protective but in the long run create to further isolation and emotional fragility.
When we never have to challenge ourselves to manage distress or work at compromise, then we rob ourselves of the opportunity to create depth and build deeper commitment in our relationships.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this? Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
We all have an emotional responsibility to be kind and sensitive as to how our actions impact the people who make up our world. The inability that some of us have in accepting feeling distress seems to be leading some to avoidance of emotional feedback via the use of technology.
Many of us feel more power and less personal connection with others when we use technology. Some of us don’t hesitate to bully each other when we can do so from the comfort of a keyboard and an anonymous username. This dynamic creates a sense of freedom from being concerned with how the person on the receiving end reacts.
Social media also can create the façade that everyone has a better, more fulfilling, and generally happier existence then the person viewing the post. This sense of comparison and perception that our own life is lacking in some significant way also creates a sense of social failure and aloneness.
I also believe that in our society we have a desire to achieve financial success and buy into the idea that one can achieve wealth as a path to happiness. We ascribe to the requirements of achievement through sacrifices of one’s personal time, showing ambitious dedication to one’s employer, and providing immediate responses of calls to action. As a result, we have less time and energy to dedicate to our personal relationships and are often unwittingly making choices between our personal relationships and our business success. As the years of duty pile up, so do the years we have not been able to be emotionally present to creating lasting and connected personal relationships.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
Not all cultures are experiencing these increasing levels of loneliness, and I hope we can start to study and introduce more of the attitudes of collectivist societies. The hope is our society could embrace and replicate some of the ways in which countries who don’t experience such high levels of loneliness are successfully incorporating all members of a society into the fold.
1)Stop comparing yourself to others on social media.
If you must compare, compare yourself to where you were a year or five years ago. Notice how far you have come and all the growth you have achieved. Posts on social media are just a snapshot of one small piece of their life. It is NOT the whole picture.
2)Schedule lunches, movie dates, etc. with the people in your life.
Get things on the calendar instead of hoping things will just come together last minute. Most of us are busy and have lots of demands on our time. Getting those important and much needed visits planned out allows you to have something to look forward to. Regular visits with people who care about you create opportunities to for you to challenge those warped mental distortions about our value to others.
3)Pick up the phone!
Tell someone you are thinking of them. Check in and see how they are doing. Ask them to tell you how they are feeling about things happening in their life. There is a different energy created when you speak to someone and hear their voice, laughter, and tone. Texting and email are for exchanging quick bits of information-they are not relationship builders.
4)Volunteer.
One of the best ways to remind ourselves that we are not alone in the world and to remind us to put our fears and worries in perspective is to be of service to others. Helping others has been associated with raised levels of mood-boosting oxytocin, which is our bodies’ way of raising our emotional state.
5) Join Meetup. (www.meetup.com)
Meetup is a nationwide non-profit organization dedicated to facilitating people and activities of mutual interest to make friends and share experiences. Depending on the size of the town a person lives in, there can sometimes be hundreds of events such as book clubs, hiking groups, and wine tastings happening all at the same time. Many of my clients have made some good friends by attending these groups and have even organized some of their own.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
My great hope is to change the way we handle our responses when we are feeling defensive. It would greatly diffuse many a tense situation if we were able to find the ability to find even a small thing that we could take responsibility for in those moments versus our seemingly normal response to defend our position.
By finding something we can take responsibility for, we are not saying that we are wrong but offering to the other person that we are aware that we participated in the conversation and added to the missed opportunity for connection.
When I admit that I may have been distracted and not paying as much attention as the other person deserved or offer up the admission that I was multi-tasking and not fully present, or even that I skipped lunch and was snappy because I was hangry, then I am telling the other person I want to make a repair attempt.
The ability to accept my part in the disagreement says everything about my character and my ability to compromise because of the value I place on the relationship. It also says I hear that my partner, friend, or co-worker and want them to know that I acknowledge their sense of connection was impacted as well and that we both want things to move forward in a positive way.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Dr. John Gottman! I practice the theory of couples therapy that he developed over 40 years ago and I would love to sit down and pick his brain about some of the questions that sometimes arise for me in sessions. Nothing better than hearing it from the original master of the theory, although I would likely be so star struck that I might not be able to put together an articulate sentence.
5 Things We Can Each Do Help Solve The Loneliness Epidemic, with Dr. Mark B. Constantian and Fotis Georgiadis
Social media is not connection. First, it is inherently false. You see the selfie of a friend at a party, smiling and seeming to have a much better time than you are. How do you connect with that? You “heart” it. How does that help your isolation?
As a part of my interview series about the ‘5 Things We Can Each Do Help Solve The Loneliness Epidemic’ I had the pleasure to interview Mark B. Constantian, MD, FACS. Dr. Constantian, has practiced plastic surgery in Nashua, NH since 1978 and has faculty appointments at the University of Wisconsin and the University of Virginia. He is the author of more than 100 professional journal articles and book chapters and two previous textbooks, including Rhinoplasty: Craft and Magic. His most recent book: CHILDHOOD ABUSE, BODY SHAME, AND ADDICTIVE PLASTIC SURGERY: The Face of Trauma.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
When I was a third-year medical student at the University of Virginia, Dr. Milton Edgerton came from Johns Hopkins to start the Department of Plastic Surgery. He was a superb surgeon and a very charismatic man, always pushing the envelope in surgical technique — — immediate reconstruction after removal of large facial cancers, which was unheard of at the time, transgender surgery when no one was yet doing it, and so on. He was also interested in patients with body image disorders and in patients who had “minimal deformities” or “imaginary deformities” but were devastated by them. That interest stayed with me when I was in practice, particularly because I saw those patients as well and the medical literature didn’t have any definitive explanation for its cause. It still doesn’t. Now, all these years later, that is my primary focus of research interest — full circle — one that I discussed with Dr. Edgerton before he passed away last year. Gratifyingly, he agreed with my thesis completely.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Although I had taught instructional courses about body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) at national plastic surgery meetings for years, I didn’t have an underlying thesis. BDD, which fascinates the public, the media, and reality TV, is primarily defined as obsession with a “perceived” or “slight” imperfection — — in other words, something only the patient can see. Then I met a patient who told me that he once had body dysmorphic disorder about his nose but had been cured, which was true — by his own determination. He related a gripping story about emotional abuse by his stepfather, who, starting at age seven, forced him to submit to photographs only to show him that his nose was misshapen. Imagine doing that to a young child! The stepfather kept at him until, by his high school years, the young man was completely obsessed. This was my first crack in the wall: at least in one patient, child abuse and neglect had preceded the development of self-hatred and body dysmorphic disorder. Then I began seeing more and more patients who had undergone multiple rhinoplasties and other cosmetic surgeries for noses that they knew at the time were normal — — no bumps, no crookedness, no breathing problems — — but they had surgery anyway. Why? “Because my father told me I was the ugliest baby he ever saw.” “Because my mother wanted me to be as pretty as my sister.” “Because I wasn’t perfect enough.” “Because I wanted people to love me.” This was my second clue: for many patients who had undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries and were still dissatisfied, there had been no original medical indication, and the patients knew it. I thought I had defined “surgical body dysmorphic disorder” — surgery when you know you don’t need it, to be loved. But I hadn’t, quite yet.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I think I am getting much closer to the origins of body dysmorphic disorder. Through my research in more than 200 patients in my practice, I have shown that the prevalence of childhood abuse and neglect in patients with BDD is more than 80% — though it is 61% in my non-cosmetic reconstructive patients. Childhood trauma is surprisingly high, no matter one’s socioeconomic state.
But the defining characteristic of BDD is not, I believe, a perceived deformity. It is the presence of body shame, which childhood trauma can cause. Many of us, of course, have imperfect features but never have plastic surgery. If people have self-esteem and know that they have value that does not depend on physical appearance (or anything else external) they can’t have body shame.
Self-worth does not have to be earned and cannot be taken away. It’s when someone feels that his or her worth depends on “being perfect enough,” however that’s defined, that he or she gets get into trouble. Plastic surgery, no matter how well done, cannot provide self-worth. I think body shame is the key definer of BDD, not perceived deformity. BDD is a disease of emotions. It is shame that drives the surgery.
Can you share with our readers a bit why you are an authority about the topic of the Loneliness Epidemic?
Body dysmorphic disorder can become an addiction to plastic surgery. Those are the patients that my specialty sees, and that’s why I have a different view of the problem than mental health professionals, who see patients for therapy, not surgery. All addictions or self- harming behaviors wall people off. They lose connection. They become sequestered in their unhappiness. Disconnection creates loneliness, and that is a common characteristic among all addictions or behaviors created by a sense of ‘worth — less — ness.’
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. According to this story in Forbes, loneliness is becoming an increasing health threat not just in the US , but across the world. Can you articulate for our readers 3 reasons why being lonely and isolated can harm one’s health?
We are made to connect with each other, to relate, to fall in love, to have relationships and love within families and among friends. So first, all types of childhood abuse and neglect foster feelings of shame, which leads to depression, self-hatred, and isolation.
Secondly, significant research from Kaiser Permanente in California, where the original Adverse Childhood Experiences study was performed, and supported by my own research, shows that the more types of childhood trauma people suffered, the more health problems they have in adulthood. It’s a significant effect: If you have 6 or more ACE’s, your life expectancy drops by 20 years; you are 50 times more likely to commit suicide. No other known life event does that.
Third, all of the common adult diseases can be directly linked to the brain, metabolic, and behavioral changes that come from abuse and neglect.
So loneliness is a symptom of isolation; and isolation often comes from feelings of unworthiness, and the childhood trauma that caused it translates into adult health problems. Even in my relatively small study, the number of ACE’s correlates directly with hypertension, high cholesterol, obesity, cancer, headache / migraine, irritable bowel, arthritis, chronic lung disease and asthma, and self-reported depression — which in our study is 56%, which is three times the U.S. average.
ACE’s also correlated directly with recreational drug use and excessive postoperative demands for narcotics, which has obvious implications for the current opioid crisis. The Kaiser study found additional connections to heart disease, multiple sclerosis, primary pulmonary fibrosis, difficulty holding a job, and risky sexual behavior. These problems provoked and stored in the body by childhood difficulties create disease decades later. It is not hard to see how all self- harming actions further isolate people from their families, coworkers, friends, and themselves. The wounded build walls.
On a broader societal level, in which way is loneliness harming our communities and society?
I have had many patients who recount stories of being misfits in a family where all the other members seemed more beautiful. They sought plastic surgery, or developed eating disorders, drug or alcohol addictions, or became isolated and socially anxious. When they have plastic surgery, it is to gain familial approval, or it is surgery to lose or retain the “family face.” It is surgery to combat criticism and loneliness. The abused return to the family again and again seeking approval. “I actually never heard one word from my family members such as, ‘Don’t you look great.’” Not once since I had surgery. They still tell me I look awful… They call me “Miss Piggy” or say that I look like a rhinoceros or some other animal. That is what I really find difficult. I guess it means that I just don’t belong to the family anymore.”
Is this perfectionism, is it obsessive compulsive disorder, is it depression, or is it body dysmorphic disorder? I don’t think it matters where you end up. The starting point is always the same. Its genesis and mediator is developmental trauma, its result is toxic shame, and its manifestations depend on how a particular shame bind — — the event or physical characteristic that triggers shame — — becomes attached and is expressed.
Abuse and neglect create feelings of deficiency. “My parents got divorced but it was my fault… I was beaten but I must have deserved it… I was criticized but I wasn’t very good…I got molested but the perpetrator said I made him do it . . . My mother said I made her drink.” When children grow up without feeling precious, they live at the extremes: self-esteem isn’t present. They feel either “worth-less” or better than everyone else. Their lives become dis-regulated so they deal with their pain by withdrawal and depression, or by self-medicating with drugs, food, or alcohol. Every week in the popular magazines there are stories of celebrities who had abusive childhoods and then became depressed, addicted, and sometimes body dysmorphic, and then have found sobriety. We often see the abuse and the addiction as separate without seeing that they intersect. That’s a deficit in our understanding.
Shame constricts, isolates, and turns us inward. Disempowerment or grandiosity, porous boundaries or walls, distorted thinking, poor self-care, and living to excess or hardly living at all disconnect us from our worlds. Trauma is isolating. Depression; eating disorders; mental illness; obesity; cutting; addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, work; suicidal ideation; and body dysmorphic disorder are not group behaviors: they are almost always solitary. Untreated trauma detaches, sequesters, and isolates; it reflects distorted thinking, information processing, and behavior biased by childhood. Trauma is lonely. Thus the first part of resilience is the capacity to look outward and care about others. Like being fully relational, resilience requires connection. The door to freedom must be opened from the inside.
The irony of having a loneliness epidemic is glaring. We are living in a time where more people are connected to each other than ever before in history. Our technology has the power to connect billions of people in one network, in a way that was never possible. Yet despite this, so many people are lonely. Why is this? Can you share 3 of the main reasons why we are facing a loneliness epidemic today? Please give a story or an example for each.
Social media is not connection. First, it is inherently false. You see the selfie of a friend at a party, smiling and seeming to have a much better time than you are. How do you connect with that? You “heart” it. How does that help your isolation?
Second, connection, the antidote to loneliness, is a two-way process. One way transmission, which is what social media really is, dulls the senses and only increases isolation: nothing that’s going on actually includes the viewer. It’s easy to feel deficient — but for how many of us has life turned out to be exactly what we hoped? The closest to “connection” I see on social media is someone who posts “30 days sober” or “One year sober.” I always try to congratulate them because they are finding a way out and now can help others. You can see the self-respect in their eyes. That’s magnificent.
Third, loneliness requires the ability to share — — share intimate feelings: fears, joys, seeing facial expressions, laughing, getting hugs. Today many people work and go home to empty homes. There are no grandparents, jobs often aren’t local, and many are single parents. We don’t have pubs in the United States, and most local gathering houses have disappeared — except bars. Women’s clubs, garden clubs, bridge groups, many church groups — — these are becoming retirement activities because no one else has the time.
Ok. it is not enough to talk about problems without offering possible solutions. In your experience, what are the 5 things each of us can do to help solve the Loneliness Epidemic. Please give a story or an example for each.
I’ll speak for myself.
First, I need to treat myself first. If I am lonely, why am I lonely? Real maturity is recognizing that everything that happens in life is not about me; but on social media, it may seem like it is. If I feel defective, where did that come from? Was I taught it in childhood, or did I cope with my childhood environment by developing isolating self-harming behaviors? Trauma work really helps if that’s the issue. I know that from experience.
Second, I need to find ways to connect. For example, no one should be alone on holidays. We don’t burn out from hard work but from a sense of futility and isolation — — too much has happened, too fast, with no escape. That’s common in the world today. It’s burnout — it’s PTSD.
Third, I need to do something important to someone else. There is nothing like altruism to connect us with others.
Fourth, I need to be as generous as I can. Most of us have too much.
Fifth, I do better when I accept others for who they are; identities are obscured by social media. One of the great lessons of history is that people haven’t changed much over centuries.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
We need community — based solutions. That’s the strength of groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. People with a common thread tell their stories to each other and support each other. There’s a lot of power in that. Community builds “resilience,” which is not only the antidote to childhood and lifetime difficulties, but also the antidote to loneliness and burnout. My research shows that resilient patients are healthier and happier, even if their childhood traumas were extensive.
Resilience is not only inherited or neurochemical; it’s not something people are just lucky to have, like pretty eyes. Resilience is at least partly, perhaps primarily, the result of opening out, of being relational. When we are exposed, we are not walled; we are free to connect. From that expansion of personality and spirit come life philosophy, perspective, humor, optimism, and the capacity to receive support — impossible personal characteristics for those turned in on themselves. All of the unhappy people I have known, dragging their body shame, obsessions, addictions, and self-injurious behaviors behind them, are inwardly directed, closed to full human contact. People living in their wounds are humorless malcontents: we see them as sad or hostile. They ruminate and panic and don’t listen because they cannot absorb and process outside information without altering it unfavorably: we see them as argumentative, judgmental, and irrational. They live with intolerable emotional pain: we call them addicts. Toxic shame circulates within them: we see depression or self-injury. When this shame attaches to a physical feature, plastic surgeons see them as body dysmorphic patients. They cannot be resilient.
Unraveling trauma opens us toward each other. We are all less than we might be, maybe even less than we should be, but with growth we always become more than we were. Living as functional adults creates the abilities to connect, receive support, have life perspective, and be optimistic, perseverant, and spiritual. These are the characteristics that we see, admire, and call “resilience.” It is perhaps the most inspiring human quality.
Resilience is therefore an outcome, the result of a controlled, self-respecting life lived in moderation and connection with others. That’s when resilience appears — in fact, resilience seems inevitable for a life lived in abundance. “Self-understanding,” “optimism,” “control,” “hardiness,” “good defenses,” “interpersonal skills,” “sociability,” “support,” “life perspective,” “spirituality,” “self-confidence” — all the attributes of resilience are also the antidotes to trauma. Such lucky survivors feel autonomous: valuable, contained, protected, temperate, and clear-thinking. Life becomes reciprocal — connected. That’s the exit from loneliness.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
As a musician, my first thought was Paul McCartney because his music has pulled people together for more than 50 years. But Brian Wilson is just as provocative in a different way because his turbulent, unhappy childhood should have prohibited inspiring music — but he has been a prolific “anti — loneliness” writer throughout his career. I remember that in his autobiography he spoke about driving past the Hollywood Bowl showing a sign that read, “Appearing Tonight, Brian Wilson Performing ‘Pet Sounds,’ Sold Out.” Immediately, he remembered, the voices started in his head: “What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t like the music?” This is the irrational power of toxic shame, and yet this is the man who could write “Smile” and “Good Vibrations.” The real measure of a person’s power is how he or she behaves when things are going badly. Wilson is truly resilient.
